11

By Wednesday afternoon Angel had yet to hear from Buffy, and it frightened him. After the scene he'd witnessed between her and her husband, he feared something awful happened to her. Even though she swore to him Griffin had never behaved violently toward her, he couldn't help but worry that the man might have hurt her when she tried to leave him. Angel tried to bite back the mental images of a bruised and bloodied Buffy. He didn't want to entertain the notion but found himself unable to stop it. He wouldn't rest until he found out what became of her after she left Sunnydale early Sunday morning.

Nobody seemed to know how to reach Buffy; it was as if she'd fallen off the face of the earth. Since Monday afternoon he had called both Willow and Xander, and neither of them knew how to get in touch with her. He tried the Wichita Telephone Directory and learned that Griffin and Buffy Montgomery had an unlisted phone number. Angel toyed with the idea of flying out there, but he had no place to start looking. All he could do was wait for Buffy to contact him. If she ever did.

He had spent Sunday afternoon sifting through his box of photos and reminders of his four years with Buffy. The majority of the day was spent reminiscing about the good times they'd shared. Of all the pictures packed into the box, only one truly sent him back in time - the photo taken of he and Buffy before they went out on their first official date.

***

November 3, 1998

It was ten after seven in the morning by the time Buffy ran out of the house for school. She'd overslept by ten minutes and feared she'd be late for homeroom again. Mostly, she was afraid that Angel and Alexis were too far ahead to catch up with.

When she reached the end of her driveway Buffy saw that her two neighbors were only halfway down the street. She sighed with relief and jogged to catch up to them, calling their names in hopes they'd slow down their pace until she could reach them.

"How come you're so late?" Alexis asked with a smile on her face. She loved teasing Buffy about her lack of punctuality.

Buffy caught her breath. "I overslept. Again. That'll teach me to stay up late with Mom to watch the Sunday Night Scary Movie," she laughed.

"One more tardy and Snyder's going to serve your butt on a silver platter," the sixteen-year-old commented.

"He already hates me and we're only two months into the school year. How am I supposed to survive the next three-and-a-half years?" the blonde complained.

Alexis shrugged. "Maybe he'll drop dead one day, or suffer an attack of personality." She paused. "Nah, we'd never get that lucky. Thank god I graduate after next year."

"Lucky you." Buffy glanced at Alexis' brother, who had yet to utter a word since she'd reached their sides. "Morning, Angel."

Angel looked at her, smiled and gazed back at the ground. "Hi, Buffy." He always felt shy whenever she was around, and felt as if cotton balls formed in his mouth when he tried to talk to her.

"I didn't see you that much this weekend," she noted. "Did you do anything fun?"

"Not really. Did you?"

Alexis, who was walking to the left of her brother, stifled a back a giggle. It was obvious to her that her younger brother liked Buffy. She'd never seen him so tongue-tied around anyone before. And if she didn't know any better she'd swear Buffy felt the same way about him. 'Those two would make such a cute couple.'

"Not really. Mom and I drove to Los Angeles early Saturday morning to look for a Homecoming dress for me. I found one I really like, now all I need is a date."

"Oh."

'"Oh"? You've got to be kidding me!' Alexis thought. 'God, Angel, she's practically giving you an open invitation, she's almost begging you to ask her. Say something to the girl.'

"Are you going to the dance?" Buffy wanted to know.

"I don't know. Maybe. I guess I haven't thought much about it," he answered honestly. "Me and crowds don't really mix."

Buffy tried to hide her disappointment at his indifference. She had hoped mentioning that she'd purchased a dress and saying she didn't have a date would turn on a lightbulb in his head. She wanted him to ask her. In the past week, three other freshman boys asked her out, but she said no to all three. Her first real date wouldn't be with just *any* boy, it had to be with someone special.

And that special someone was Angel. Over the summer, they had spent a great deal of time together. They'd rented movies, gone out for lunch and hung out at the Bronze with his friends Willow and Xander. During those months Buffy developed a giant crush on the tall, lanky boy across the street. She could tell him almost anything and felt completely comfortable in his presence. Angel inhabited everything she wanted in a boyfriend.

"I see," she replied. "But if you change your mind and decide to go, let me know. You'll have to save me a dance."

"Sure."

Buffy thought it best to drop the subject of the upcoming dance. One rejection a day was her limit. "Did you do the Math homework? Because I got kinda stumped."

"What part did you have trouble with?"

"The math. Do you think you could help me with it during lunch?" she asked.

"No problem."

"Great. I'll save a seat for you at my lunch table."

Angel's eyes widened with fear. "You mean I'd have to sit with you? A-And all your friends?"

"Is something the matter? Don't you want to sit with me?"

"No! That's not it. I just…your friends don't exactly like me very much. Cordelia Chase and Harmony Kendall aren't my idea of enjoyable company," he admitted. "Sorry. I know you like them."

"Then we'll sit alone. Problem solved."

The three of them reached the school ten minutes later. Buffy said goodbye and took off in the direction of her locker while Alexis grabbed her brother's arm. "Are you completely brain dead?" she demanded.

"What are you talking about"

"Buffy gave you an opportunity and you let it pass you by. What is wrong with you?"

Angel shook his head in confusion. "Okay, I think I missed something really important. What opportunity, Lexie?"

"She wanted you to ask her to the dance!"

"No she didn't."

Alexis sighed, exasperated. "How can you be so smart and be so stupid? Buffy made it crystal clear that she's going to the dance and she doesn't have a date. A girl doesn't just say that to any random guy, she says it to the guy she wants to go with. Open your eyes, Angel! The girl has the hots for you."

"She does not. And if she wanted to go with me, she could have just asked. Buffy's not the shy type," Angel pointed out.

"Maybe she thinks you'll say no to her. Look, I know you've got a crush on her. And I'm willing to bet my Garbage Pail Kids card collection she feels the same way about you. Climb out of your little shell and ask her out. Today. Before I do it for you."

***

12

Swallowing the lump that had formed in the back of his throat, Angel walked into the cafeteria. He looked around nervously for Buffy, hoping she wasn't there yet so he would have more time to think of what he'd say to her. Given the ultimatum Alexis had given him, Angel felt he had no choice but to ask Buffy to the dance.

It wasn't that he didn't want to take her, he wanted to more than anything. The problem was he did not know how to go about asking her. Angel was deathly nervous. He'd never asked a girl out on a real date; this would certainly be different from simply asking Buffy to hang out at the Bronze for a few hours. They'd spend the entire evening together, just the two of them. Angel wasn't sure if he could survive spending six hours alone with her; he feared he would bore her, or say or do something idiotic.

'What if Lexie was wrong?' Angel thought. 'Maybe Buffy doesn't want to go with me. I'd just die if she said no and laughed in my face. I'd never be able to face her again.'

Buffy grinned when she entered the cafeteria and saw Angel standing a few feet away with a stricken look on his face. 'He is so darn cute,' she said to herself. "You look like you're about to walk into your own execution."

He turned around, finding himself face-to-face with the object of his affection. "H-Hi. I didn't see you standing there."

"That's because I just got here. Are you okay?"

"Uh-huh. Deep in thought."

"Care to share?"

Angel shook his head. "It wasn't very important."

"Okay. Where do you want to sit?"

"Doesn't matter to me. Wherever you want to is fine by me."

She laughed softly at his response. "You are way too agreeable, Angel. Is the word 'no' even part of your vocabulary?"

"No."

"Full of surprises, aren't you?" Buffy teased. "Come on, I see an empty table over there we can work at."

He followed her lead, realizing she was leading him to an empty table in the middle of the cafeteria. 'Perfect. Now the entire school can see me crash and burn. Damn!'

Buffy put her books down and sat down, waiting for Angel to join her. When he didn't sit down right away, she patted the seat to her right and looked at him expectantly. "Well? Are you gonna sit? I don't bite, you know that."

Sitting down slowly, Angel couldn't help but be embarrassed. He felt incredibly nervous when Buffy pushed her chair even closer to his. The scent of her perfume permeated his nose, making it difficult for him to breathe. "Sorry."

"What for?" she asked.

"For being me."

"That's all right. I like you." 'I can't believe it. I'm flirting with Angel! This is so cool. Now if he'll just ask me to the stupid dance already, I can act like myself again.'

They worked on the Math homework Buffy had had trouble with the night before. It was incomprehensible to her that Angel understood everything they'd learned while she could barely add and subtract without stumbling across a problem. As he explained how to solve a quadratic equation, Buffy conjured up a mental image of him standing in front of a hundred college students explaining that very same thing with easy. He had the ability to make the most difficult of tasks seem simple.

"Any questions?" he wanted to know.

Buffy shook her head. "Nope. I think I finally get it. You know, Angel, you should work for NASA. You're a whiz at math."

"I don't think so. Too much stress."

"Gimme a break. You thrive on stress."

A shadow fell over them; the two looked up to see Larry Munson standing to Buffy's left. Angel immediately turned his attention back to his Math book while Buffy inwardly groaned. The football player had asked her out five times since the first day of school, and she said no each and every time. He simply didn't get that she wasn't interested in him.

"Hey, Buffy," Larry drawled, a smug smile playing upon his lips.

"Hi," she replied unenthusiastically.

If he noticed her cool tone he simply ignored it. "Homecoming is this Saturday. What time do you want me to pick you up?"

"How about quarter to never?" Buffy answered seriously.

"No, really, Buff."

"I'm not kidding, Larry. Hell would have to freeze over before I'd even *consider* going out with you."

Larry laughed at her statement. "Why are you playing hard to get?"

"What makes you think I'm playing?" Buffy shot back.

From his seat, Angel did his best not to laugh at the scene being played out before him. Although he had to hand it to Buffy for turning Larry down; most girls would give their eye teeth to go out with him. It was a nice change of pace to see the football player being shot down.

"There are tons of girls dying to go to this dance with me."

"So ask one of them. How many times -- how many different ways -- do I have to tell you no before it finally sinks in?" she asked. "I don't like you."

"When you say it like you mean it."

Buffy stared him dead in the eye. "Trust me, I mean it."

Angel finally got fed up with Larry's harassment of Buffy. "Leave her alone. She's not interested. Deal with it."

"The dork talks!" Larry exclaimed. "Mind your own business, Brennan. Go back to your little hole in the wall and bury your head in a book where it belongs."

"Don't talk to him like that," Buffy defended.

Larry raised his eyebrows. "What is this, Defend Your Local Loser Week? What's he to you?"

The words left Buffy's mouth before she even realized she was thinking them. "He's my date for Homecoming. Happy now?"

Both Angel and Larry gaped at her. Neither were certain they'd heard her correctly. But only Larry actually brought it up. "Is this some kind of joke, Summers? 'Cause it's not funny."

"The only joke I can see is standing right in front of me. Leave me alone," Buffy told him.

"Hey, it's your funeral if you want to be seen with the likes of Angel Brennan at the dance. I thought you had class; guess I was wrong."

Larry smirked at her and walked away from the table, but no sooner was he out of her line of sight when he detoured around another table, heading toward them once again. Nobody rejected him and walked away unscathed. If Buffy Summers wanted to go to the dance with Angel Brennan, he'd be sure she would be properly humiliated for doing so.

"Angel," he said, tapping him on the shoulder.

Angel turned around, greeted by Larry's fist. It connected with his left eye, knocking his head back. Pain shot through his face, down his spine to the tips of his toes. He knew in the back of his mind that everybody in the cafeteria had seen it.

From three feet away, Larry Munson smiled at the sight before him. He could all but see the tears in Angel's eyes. "Go ahead. Cry. You know you want to."

Buffy stood up and slapped him across the face. "You asshole!" She didn't swear very often, but the occasion called for it. "Why did you have to punch him like that? Angel didn't do anything to you."

"I want to see you show up at the dance with *that* on your arm," he said before walking away.

She turned her attention to her friend, who held his hand to his tender eye. "Are you okay, Angel?"

He nodded his head slowly. "Yeah, I think so. It just hurts. A lot."

"Here, I'll walk you to the nurse's office," Buffy offered, grabbing their books.

"Thanks."

After they'd left the cafeteria and the prying eyes of their classmates, Buffy finally spoke again. "I'm really sorry, Angel. The last thing I wanted was for Larry to punch you. I figured he'd just go away if I said that."

"Don't worry about it. And I don't expect you to go with me."

"Why? I want to go with you," she admitted. "I was just waiting for you to ask me. Unless you don't want to be my date."

"I do! I was actually going to ask you during lunch anyway." 'I can't get over it. Lexie was right,' Angel thought.

Buffy giggled. "Guess I saved you the trouble. Except you got hurt in the process. You're going to have a nice shiner in the morning."

"Are you sure you don't mind being seen with a guy who has a black eye?"

She grasped his hand in hers. "As long as you're the guy with the black eye, I'm perfectly fine with it."

***

13

Buffy's mother watched with pride as her only child fixed her hair in her full-length mirror. 'I can hardly believe my little Buffy is going on her first date tonight.' "You look pretty, honey. Like a vision."

The fourteen-year-old twirled around. "You really think so, Mom? The dress isn't too old for me?"

"Not at all. If I thought it was too old I never would have bought it for you." Joyce Summers sighed heavily. "I suddenly feel so old. My freshman Homecoming Dance seems like a lifetime ago."

"Oh god. You aren't going to get all sentimental on me, are you?" Buffy asked with fear in her green eyes.

She shook her head. "Don't worry. I refuse to act like my mother did. I promised myself I'd never be like her." Joyce did not want to talk about her parents; it brought back painful memories. "What time is Angel picking you up?"

Her daughter grinned from ear to ear. "He'll be here at six. His sister's date is driving us to the school."

"You really like him, don't you, Buffy?" she asked. She'd never seen Buffy so excited about a school event before, and innately knew it had a lot to do with her date.

"Yeah, I do. Angel's not like the other boys at school, he's not obsessed with being popular. And he's smart and funny and kinda cute in his own way. I know I'll have a good time with him," Buffy explained. "Why? Don't you like him?"

"He is polite. A little quiet, though. Call me crazy, but I always pictured my little motor mouth with the captain of the football team."

Buffy smiled slyly. "I'm working on loosening him up."

A chill ran down Joyce's spine upon hearing her daughter's words. "Please be careful, Buffy. I wasn't much older than you when I started having sex."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to un off and do something stupid. No offense, Mom, but I'm not you. I want to wait until I'm at least out of high school. Or in love, whichever comes first."

"Then you have better sense than I did at your age."

Before Buffy had a chance to respond the doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of her date. With one last glance in the mirror, Buffy practically ran down the stairs to the front door, followed by her mother. Joyce grabbed her camera from the living room coffee table before making her way to the door.

Angel needed to blink several times when Buffy opened her door. She wore a strapless pink dress that fell to the floor, hugging her curves. Her long blonde hair was swept up with clips of the same shade of pink. Even though he'd only known Buffy a few short months, he'd never seen her look so beautiful.

"B-Buffy, you look so p-pretty," he stumbled.

She gave him a shy smile at his compliment. "Thank you, Angel. I like your tie. It matches my dress."

He glanced down at the pink tie he wore, identical in color to her dress. "It's my dad's. He let me borrow it for tonight." Angel noticed Buffy's mother standing behind her, holding a camera in her hands. "Hello, Ms. Summers."

"Hi, Angel. Do you guys mind posing for a picture?" she asked. "It's my little girl's first date and I want to capture it on film."

Buffy glared at her mother, feeling utterly embarrassed. "Mother…"

"Sure," Angel agreed.

The couple plastered smiles on their faces and stood side-by-side as Joyce Summers snapped a photo of them. "Great. How's your eye feeling, Angel?"

He shrugged, frowning. "It's okay I guess. I don't want another one for a long time, that's for sure."

"I don't blame you. Well, you two have fun tonight. Buffy, I want you home by twelve-thirty."

"All right. Bye."

***

Angel felt as if all eyes were on them as they walked into the school building. Buffy had held his hand in hers upon leaving Alexis' date's car and flashed him a small smile when he looked down at her. He knew what everyone was thinking - what was Buffy Summers doing at the dance with Angel Brennan? Deep down he didn't know why she'd even gone with him; she could have gone with any boy in the entire school. Why was he so special?

"What do you want to do first?" Buffy asked him.

'Go into a bathroom and throw up,' he thought. "I-I don't know. It doesn't matter to me. What about you?"

"Do you mind if we go say hi to Cordy and Harmony?" she suggested. "I see them over by the punch bowl."

"Go ahead. I think I'll just look for Willow and Xander. They should be here by now."

Buffy immediately felt like a fool. "Oh geez. You don't like Harm and Cordy. I'm so sorry, I completely forgot. But I didn't mean that we should say hi separately. I'll go with you to see Will and Xander."

"Don't worry about it. We can meet up later on," Angel said. "Maybe we can even dance together before the night is over."

'What, does he think I only came to be seen with him? What do I have to do to make him see that I really like him?' "Hey! I'm your date, or did you forget that? You are the only guy I plan on dancing with here tonight. You're going to be sick of seeing me by the time we get home."

Until that moment Angel had thought the only reason Buffy went with him was for appearance's sake. "That would never happen."

The two of them split up, Angel in search of his friends while Buffy headed off in the direction of Cordelia and Harmony. She found herself surprised when her two friends did not acknowledge her presence when she stood in front of them.

"Hi, guys," she greeted.

"Hello, Buffy," Cordelia Chase responded coolly, taking a sip of her drink. Harmony Kendall didn't bother to say anything.

Buffy sighed, rolling her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"You know what's wrong," Harmony told her.

"You aren't making any sense at all. What do you mean I know what's wrong? I didn't do anything," Buffy stated.

Cordelia shook her head and closed her eyes. "We thought you had class, having lived in Los Angeles for so long. Harm and I are pretty good judges of character; I can't believe how wrong we were about you."

"Excuse me?"

"You had potential," Harmony added. "But you messed up so badly even we can't help you anymore."

"I'm lost. How exactly did I mess up?"

"Look at your date and you tell us."

Buffy didn't understand what Angel had to do with it. "What the hell are you talking about? What does Angel have to do with anything?"

"You came to the dance with him."

"So? You two knew that already. Why is it such a problem all of a sudden?" Buffy demanded.

Harmony tossed her long blonde hair over her right shoulder. "Yeah, well, we never actually thought you'd go through with it."

"Are you for real?"

The two exchanged an unreadable look. "Buffy, you could have gone to the dance with Larry Munson. But you came with Angel Brennan. Hello, can you say Beauty and the Beast?" Harmony said. "He's a total loser and you can do *so* much better."

"I cannot believe you two. I thought you were my friends."

"We are," Cordelia reminded her. "And it's because we're your friends that we are telling you what a big mistake you are making."

"No," Buffy disagreed, shaking her head. "You are selfish, self-centered snobs; you don't care about me, you care about your reputations. Well, you know what? Screw all of you! I will go out with whomever I damn well want to, and there's nothing you can do about it."

***

At twelve-fifteen Angel and Buffy walked up the steps of her front porch. "I had a good time tonight," Buffy commented.

Angel nodded. "Me, too."

An awkward silence fell over them, neither quite knowing what to say to the other. "Are you doing anything tomorrow afternoon?" he wanted to know.

"Nothing written in stone. Why?"

"Do you want to come over and watch a movie? My parents rented Dirty Dancing this weekend."

"Sure. I haven't seen that one yet. Mom won't care if I'm out of her hair for a few hours. If anything, she'll be thrilled for some alone time."

He wrinkled his brow. "What about your dad? I never hear you mention him. Don't you ever go visit him?"

Buffy looked down at the ground. "I don't have a dad. The sperm donor who contributed his DNA to me doesn't exist in my life. Truthfully, I only met him once when I was twelve. He dumped my mother when she told him she was pregnant with me."

"That's awful."

"I'm better off without him in my life. Oh well. I don't see it as a big loss."

Angel felt like kicking himself for even bringing up the subject. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I had no idea that had happened."

"That's because I never talk about it that often," she told him. "But don't be sorry. Like you said, you didn't know."

He glanced at his watch. 'I've been out with her for over six hours and I haven't made a complete fool of myself. It's progress.' "It is getting late. I should get home."

"Okay. Thank you for taking me, I had a great time on our first date." 'The first of many, I hope.'

"So did I."

Without warning Buffy leaned over and kissed Angel on the lips. She knew he'd never do it himself, so she took the initiative. It was her first kiss, and her heart pounded in her throat. His lips were as soft as she thought they'd be.

"Good night, Angel," she said. "See you tomorrow."

"N-Night," he stuttered, feeling breathless after their kiss. As soon as Buffy closed the door behind her, Angel ran across the street to tell his sister what happened.

***

14

"Angel, have you heard a word I've said to you?" Mrs. Brennan chastised when her son didn't respond to her question.

He switched the telephone from one ear to the other. "Sorry, Mom. My mind must have wandered for a minute. What was the question again?"

"What's wrong with you lately? You didn't come by Sunday night for the weekly family dinner, and now you aren't even listening to what I'm asking you."

"I've had some things on my mind. It's been a weird few days."

"So I am noticing. Did something happen at the reunion and you're not telling me? Because you know you can tell me anything," Angel's mother reminded him.

'Not this, I can't. You'd never understand, Mom. Never,' he said to himself. "Nothing happened. If anything, the whole experience helped put things in perspective for me. I owe you a big thank you for convincing me to go."

From her seat at her kitchen table, Margaret Brennan smiled. "See, I knew it would be a good idea. I just have one question about the reunion and then I'll never bring it up again. Did you get a chance to talk to Buffy while you were there?"

Angel laughed at his mother's question. "I knew you'd ask that. Yes, I saw her there and I did speak to her."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Not particularly. I will say that the world makes sense once again and leave it at that."

Cradling the telephone between his ear and his shoulder, Angel opened the mailbox and pulled out the pile of envelopes from inside. He leafed through bills and junk mail before stumbling across a letter postmarked from Wichita, Kansas. He knew it had to be from Buffy.

"Mom, I have to get going. I'll see you on Sunday afternoon for dinner," he told her.

Mrs. Brennan sensed the change in her son's tone of voice. "Is everything okay, Angel?"

"Fine, everything's fine. I suddenly remembered that I forgot to run an important errand," Angel lied to her.

"Okay. You promise you will be here Sunday? Not like this past week where you forgot?" she prodded.

"You have my word. I'll be there at three."

Mother and son said their goodbyes before turning off their respective telephones. Angel walked back into his house and dropped the mail on the counter before settling down on the couch to read Buffy's letter.

'My dearest Angel,' he read. 'What I am about to write is the hardest thing I have ever written…'

***

"Alexis and Brad are coming down with the children in three weeks," Edward Brennan said to his son Sunday evening. "She called us this afternoon and told us. Apparently Brad couldn't get off work the week of the holiday."

Angel only nodded his head. Four days had passed since he'd received the letter from Buffy; the letter that contained her intention of staying with her husband despite her lingering feelings for him. His heart, which had almost healed completely following her rejection ten years earlier, shattered once more because of her. Angel could blame nobody but himself for his pain, knowing he brought it on himself when he took Buffy to bed.

Mr. Brennan saw the forlorn look in his son's eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"No, you're not fine. I can see it written all over your face. You're hurting, Angel. Tell me what it is," he requested. "Maybe I can help."

He stood up, pacing the living room. "I don't think so, Dad. I'm ashamed and I know you'd think so much less of me if I told you what a stupid thing I did."

"I could never think any less of you. We all do stupid things, how bad could it be?"

Angel looked at his father. "I had an affair with a married woman."

His father never expected to hear those words come from Angel's mouth. "Oh" was all he could muster as a response.

He sighed at his father's reaction. "See? This is why I didn't want to tell you and Mom. I knew how disappointed you'd both be. Look, promise you won't tell Mom about this. It'll break her heart to know what I've done."

"I won't tell her."

"Good."

"Do you mind if I ask what happened?" Mr. Brennan wanted to know. "Obviously it's on been plaguing your thoughts for some time. It might help to let it all out."

Angel sat back down on the couch. "It is the same thing you hear every time; your standard cliché. All it was was a one-time deal. It happened a few weeks ago. She swore she was leaving her abusive husband to be with me and I totally believed her. Well, until I got a letter in the mail saying they'd worked things out. And now I'm nothing but a faded memory to her."

"You thought it was forever and she had other ideas?"

"I don't know. I never saw myself as the type to be duped by a woman, but I guess everyone has their weaknesses. She was mine, and she knew it," he said.

Mr. Brennan saw how hurt Angel was. He had no clue as to what he could say to ease his son's pain. "Do you love her?"

With a nod, Angel shut his eyes. "I loved her the moment I laid eyes on her. I don't know if that will ever change. Believe me, I tried not to but nothing works."

"I wish I knew what to tell you."

"Tell me what to do," pleaded Angel.

"You'll have to figure that out on your own. I'm not trying to pry, but do we know who this married woman is?"

Angel frowned. "No, you don't." 'I don't think I know who she is either.'

***

15

"To what do we owe the pleasure of your company tonight, Peaches?" William "Spike" Roberts asked a week-and-a-half later.

Angel gulped down the beer he'd swigged. "I haven't been out with you guys in a long time. And don't call me Peaches. I've hated that stupid nickname since the first day of college."

"Whatever." That was always Spike's answer whenever Angel requested that he stop calling him by his nickname.

"Spike has a point, Angel. It's like you've been avoiding the world the past few weeks. Actually, ever since the reunion if my calculations are correct," Xander pointed out. "Does this have anything to do with your hunt for a certain ex-girlfriend named Buffy?"

The mention of Buffy's name made Angel's face pale. "What makes you think that?"

"Could it be common sense? Gimme a break, Angel. Everybody at the reunion saw you chase after her when her husband dragged her out. On top of that you called me and Willow looking for her. What's really going on? Did something happen between the two of you after you left the reunion?"

"Buffy and I are of the past. End of story."

Before Xander could respond Spike spoke up. "Who's Buffy?"

"No one," Angel answered shortly.

There was no way Xander would leave it at that. "Buffy Summers was Angel's high school sweetheart. His one and only true love."

"Xander…"

"What's the big deal? I'm surprised you haven't told Spike about your sordid history with your little blonde cheerleader."

Spike raised his eyebrows. "Cheerleader? You dated a cheerleader? No offense, but I've seen pictures of you from high school and I don't picture *that* guy with a cheerleader."

"Buffy was only a cheerleader for one year, Xander," Angel reminded his old high school friend.

"One year was long enough to win her the title of Homecoming Queen our senior year."

"You got with a Homecoming Queen?" Spike asked incredulously.

Angel only groaned and dropped his head on the table with a thud.

Xander laughed at him. "Let me give you the Cliff's Notes version. Buffy Summers is the one that got away. She moved to Sunnydale the summer before freshman year and you-know-who fell instantly in love with her. They dated exclusively for close to four years, and on graduation day Angel popped the question. She said no, he left town a few days later and the rest is history. They never even slept together."

"Thank you, Xander," Angel muttered sarcastically. "You summed up my life in fifty words or less."

"Let me get this straight," Spike started. "You dated the girl for four years and you never got any from her? What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing. She wanted to wait until we were out of high school. And I respected her decision."

Spike shook his head in amusement. "But the chippy dumped your scrawny ass before you got the pleasure of doing her? She sounds like a dick-tease to me."

"Well she wasn't. We did…stuff," he defended himself.

"So that Cordelia chick from that party was your first? What's-her-face, the actress who's on that television show."

Xander's brown eyes widened and his jaw fell. "Cordelia? As in Cordelia Chase? Queen C of Sunnydale High was the first girl you ever slept with?"

"Can we not talk about this?" The conversation had turned in a direction Angel didn't like whatsoever.

"Why not? Things are finally starting to get good," teased his bleached-blonde college pal.

"You never told me about you and Cordy. You always hated her even from the first day of kindergarten. When did that happen?" Xander questioned. "And why didn't you tell me before this?" It wasn't like Angel to keep secrets from him.

'I am going to kill Spike. Slowly and painfully,' he vowed. "I didn't tell you, Xand, because it wasn't a big deal. We ran into each other at a frat party up at UCLA in November of our senior year. I got drunk and when I woke up next to her I remembered what happened. It only happened once, thank god. End of story yet again."

"Wait a second. November of '95…that's when Buffy and Griffin got engaged," Xander recalled.

Angel threw a couple peanuts into his mouth. "Thanks for the reminder. You want the truth? I was so upset when my sister sent me the engagement announcement that I went off the deep end for a while. Happy?"

"Of course I'm not happy. I didn't realize what you went through when you found out. You pushed yourself away from everyone when you went to college. You could have told me. Or Will, for that matter. We would have understood."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Now you know. And now you know why I never mentioned it. It's not a period of my life I'm proud of. Buffy had broken my heart for the second time. There's no way in hell I'm going to let it happen this time around. She's not going to make it three for three."

"This time?" Spike repeated. "What happened this time?"

"Huh?"

"You said you wouldn't let it happen this time. Come on, tell us what's really going on," he prodded.

Angel sighed heavily, knowing he'd have to tell his two best friends everything. There would be no denying anymore. That and he was tired of carrying it around inside. "After the reunion, we went back to my house."

"And?"

"Use your imagination! I'm not going to spell it out for you."

Xander took a sip of his beer upon hearing his friend's revelation. He had assumed Angel and Buffy cleared the air between them, never for one second thinking anything sexual would actually happen. "You had sex with her? She's married!"

"I appreciate the reminder, but I know that."

"You go!" Spike cheered.

Angel shook his head at Spike's reaction. He knew he should have expected it. "I'm so glad you're proud of me."

"Are you gonna share the details?" the blonde asked.

"It wasn't really earth-shattering, Spike. She and her husband got into an argument, he left her there and I let her spend the night at my place. We had a long talk and the next thing I know I had her pinned against the wall and she was screaming my name. Is that enough detail for you?"

"Was she any good?"

Clenching his jaw, he glared at Spike. "I am not even going to dignify that with an answer."

Xander didn't need to be told that something big and unpleasant went down between them after that. "Then what happened?"

"She was going to leave her husband to be with me. Then I got a letter two weeks ago saying that she'd decided to stay with Griffin."

"Sorry, man," Spike apologized, embarrassed by his previous jubilation.

"Forget it, I'm trying to. It's over between me and Buffy, for good this time. After what she did to me I don't care if I never lay eyes on her ever again."

Go to Part 16