Disclaimer: I don't own the song, its by Jewel. The title is break me. And I certainly don't own any other the characters from Buffy or Angel.
Distribution: Ask and you shall receive
Feedback: Please do, nickypoo2004@yahoo.com
Synopsis: Buffy is thinking. Its pretty angsty. You are warned.
Rated: G
Author's Notes: Can I just say thank you to everyone who has given me feedback, and said some of the nicest compliments that I have ever received in my life. Seriously, this is for you guys who make me feel as if I am actually doing something important. I hope you like it.

She looked up at the darkened sky, and touched her chest. Why did she feel so empty? Why did having sex with Spike just make her feel less, instead of more? She missed when she felt like a human being. She missed when she loved someone who loved her back.

I will meet you
In some place
Where the light lends itself
To soft repose

She smiled to herself as she remembered when she made love to Angel. She had been so nervous, and innocent. She didn't even know if she was doing it correctly. But that was the only time in her life she could remember feeling complete.

I will let you undress me
But I warn you
I have thorns
Like any rose

He had hurt her so much, and he left her open and bare. But, there were times when she didn't care that he left. When she didn't care if he even knew she even existed. But those times were few and far between. Most of the time her body ached for him, and she shivered in the night air.

And you could hurt me
With your bare hands
You could hurt me
With the sharp end
Of what you say

She wasn't even sure that he loved her still. He might love Cordelia. But she didn't care. She knew that she would always be his, even if he didn't know that. She wondered if he still cared. She wondered if he had said goodbye to yesterday, and moved on past what they had shared. The stars twinkled mockingly at her and she stood to her feet and went back inside.

But I'm lost to you now
And there's no
Amount of reason
That could save me
So break me

And the phone rang. She ran to it. "Hello?" She whispers. She hears rustling noises, and then the line goes dead. She hesitates before putting it back on the hook. It was him. She could feel it. She could feel so many things now. She could see so many things now. The blackness of the night seeped underneath the door, and she ran upstairs to escape its grasp.

Take me
Just let me
Feel your arms again
Break me
I'll let you make me
Just let me
Feel your love again

Why did it as if the future was closing in upon her right now? She couldn't breathe, and her past was chasing her. She got underneath the covers of her bed and hid. And then that's when she saw the flashes. The flashes of him, and her in each others arms. She loved him so much it hurt her insides, and she just knew her love for him was going to kill her someday.

Feels like being underwater
Now that I've let go
And lost control
Water kisses fill my mouth
Water fills my soul

She drowned in him. She hid in him, and he ripped that all away when he left without a word into the foggy night. She remembered the fire, and sounds, and then him. Staring into her soul, and remembering every inch of her. Etching her into his memory so he would never have to say goodbye. It wasn't fair. That wasn't enough for her.

So break me
Take me
Just let me
Feel your arms again
Break me
Make me
Just let me
Feel your love again

She hated knowing. She hated knowing that she needed him like she needed water, or air. She felt as if she was suffocating and the walls were closing in. She gathered herself into a ball, and began to sob. She couldn't hide. She never could.

Kiss me once
Or maybe twice
Oh, it never felt so nice So break me
Take me

Her eyelids closed, and her faced became less tense, and she disappeared. She disappeared from all she didn't want to reckon with. She would never have to sleep with Spike, hear Dawn yell, or want for Angel ever again.

Let me
Feel your arms again
Break me
Make me
Just let me
Feel your arms again
Just let me
Feel your love again

She had tried to run from the blackness and she failed. It overtook her and she had let it willingly. Someday he would come back. Someday he would tell her that he wanted her again, and that this time it would be forever. And in her state of darkness, she smiled. A smile of hope.

Hoped you liked it. Sorry so angsty.

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