Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters or the lines I borrowed from episodes such as: Forever, Angel, What’s My Line Part 1, and Surprise.
Summary: Set during season 3 (I know, I am doing a lot of this lately), during and after Angel breaks up with Buffy. Very different story line that I borrowed after watching That 70's Show. Warning: angst, and lots of it.
Pairing: Mentions of B/A
Rating: PG-13
Author’s Notes: **** This is to separate scenes. Okay, I know there are like many moments I could have chosen to put in the story for Buffy to remember. But, that would have taken forever, and I just want you to get the basic idea of what their love was like. Oh yeah, this un-beta read. Sorry. Oh well. Shameless plug time! I updated my site with a lot of new stuff! Visit it and sign the guestbook! www.geocities.com/nickypoo2004/waitingforyou.html
Feedback: Of course. Send it here: nickypoo2004@yahoo.com

"You’re breaking up with me?" Buffy solemnly asked.

Angel nodded. His face reflecting a deep sadness. "Yes," he hoarsely answered. Her face crumpled and she began to cry harder. She wanted to die. Maybe if she cried hard enough she would fade away, and feel this pain no more.

Angel gave her an empty stare, before awkwardly walking away. She sunk to her knees and sobbed harder than she ever had in her entire life.

********************

Buffy laid on her bed. The dark night surrounded her body and enveloped it like a blanket. She closed her eyes, and flashes of Angel walking away from her danced across her eyelids. She bit her lip. "I wish that I would have never fallen in love with Angel, or him with me!" Her words slipped bitterly out of her mouth and she pounded her fist against her leg.

A white light shone through-out the length of her room, and she shielded her face from its harsh glare. What was going on? "Buffy."

She looked up to see the a man adorned in white garments staring softly at her. She trembled. "Who are you?" Her voice was full of wonder.

"An angel." The man softly answered. She cringed at the sound of her ex-lover’s name.

"Great! That’s just what I need. An angel messing up everything again." She look ways from the shining angel, and let a tear fall down the length of her cheek.

"You do. You need me more than you’ll ever know."

She bitterly laughed. "Sure. Why would I need an angel?"

The angel softly smiled, and looked down upon Buffy’s sad face. "You said that you wish you had never fallen in love with Angel. For that to happen, you two would have to have never met. You see, the love between you two was so strong, that you would have to have never met him to have never fallen in love with him. I am going to show you what your life would be like if you had never fallen in love with Angel."

Buffy nervously gulped. "Okay, let’s get to it." She took the angel’s hand and wandered into the bright light that encompassed the angel’s body.

*********************

Buffy squinted her eyes as the adjusted to the dim light. Street lights dotted the street and Buffy looked around her. She saw herself as a sixteen year old walking into a dark alleyway. "This is when I faced the three."

The angel nodded. "You see, if you never met Angel, he wouldn’t have saved you when you faced the three."

Buffy looked on at her past self. Her eyes blackened at the thought of having to remember Angel.

Her former self turned her head at noise that was in the darker part of the alleyway. "Hey!" Buffy called to her sixteen year old version. She didn’t respond.

"She can’t hear you. This is just a glimpse. Man, haven’t you seen this before! You know like in the movies or something."

Buffy shrugged. "It was worth a try."

The sixteen year old Buffy was roughly being pushed up against a wire fence. The girl winced, and the present Buffy winced with her. The girl kicked her legs and finally her boot connected with one of the three’s crotch. He winced in pain, and feel to his knees.

The other’s looked at him aimlessly, and past Buffy attempted to run away. Another one of the three scratched her soft skin with a maniacal claw that was attached to his hand. She screamed in agony.

Blood oozed out of her wound and she whimpered. Present Buffy stepped closer to past Buffy in concern. "You can do it. You can beat them." She whispered into her younger self’s ear.

Past Buffy gingerly stood to her feet, and pulled out her sharp wooden stake. The point of it was angrily rammed into one of the three’s heart’s and he crumbled into grey ash.

"And then there was two." Past Buffy quipped. Present Buffy smiled in appreciation.

"Those were the days. I used to have such creative puns, now I find them lacking." She sighed, and her past self spun and kicked another of the vampire’s in the chest. He fell and she quickly staked him. The last of the three licked his lips at the sight of her blood.

"You’re gonna taste good slayer. I can already tell. Can almost feel your blood running through my veins."

Past Buffy touched her wound and frowned. It hurt like hell, and pretty soon, so was he.

He swiped his claws at her, and connected with her shoulder. She screamed in agony and stumbled slowly backwards. The fight was draining out of her eyes.

"Keep fighting!" Present Buffy encouraged.

Past Buffy looked up at the last of the three and spit on him. He angrily tried to connect his fist to her face, but she ducked and stabbed him in the heart with his stake. He collapsed into ash.

"And then there was none." She slowly said, before turning around and walking home.

Present Buffy cheered and turned towards the angel. "That wasn’t that bad. I mean, I won didn’t I?"

The angel sighed. "That’s just the beginning. I mean none of the really bad stuff has happened yet."

Buffy groaned. "I don’t care! You don’t understand! I don’t care about how Angel affected my life or whatever!" She angrily cried out. She hated him. She hated him for leaving her, but she hated him most of all because she didn’t hate him at all.

The angel gave her a blank stare. "Let’s move on. We are going to take you to another moment in your life which Angel affected."

Buffy solemnly followed the Angel into a past time.

***********************

"You see, this is you when you were hearing everyone’s thoughts."

Buffy stared at her past self cringing as she listened to the everyone’s thoughts swirling around her mind.

"Okay, out of all the life endangering times I have had you choose this one! I mean, there really were better. Like what about when Angel and Xander helped save me after the master killed me? That one had to be better than this. I mean this wasn’t even life endangering! I was just quickly going crazy." She impatiently sighed and continued to stare at her past self.

"Man, breakups can make chicks mean." The angel mumbled.

"I can’t help it! He was the love of my life, and he didn’t want to be with me! If he doesn’t then who will."

The angel rolled his eyes. "All in good time young one. But, my point is that Angel ran out into the daylight to get the cure that would make the voices in your head stop. He risked his life for you. Because he loved you. And later that day didn’t he tell you that you were the only person that he ever loved?"

Buffy stared off into space. Remembering the distant words that Angel had once uttered to her. She half smiled at remembering herself smile brightly at hearing what he said. But that was all taken away when he had said the he didn’t want his life to be with her. Ever.

A tear ran down her cheek. She didn’t want to remember his love. It hurt too damn much. It felt like she couldn’t breathe and that she was falling apart inside.

"I D-O-N’-T C-A-R-E!" she slowly said, her voice full of passion and anger.

"Okay. I will take you to the future. You will see what your life will have been like if you had never met Angel."

*********************

"Look Buffy. You still hear the voices. Giles, Willow, none of your friends could help make them go away. You can’t be in a room with a person for long periods of time. You are prone to violent outbursts, and you are completely mad."

Buffy stared at her future self. She looked so old. So helpless and lost. Willow walked into the room. "Hi Buffy." She softly said.

Future Buffy growled. "Ahh!" She screamed as she rocked back and fourth in the corner of the room. Willow winced and stepped backwards incase future Buffy lashed out and decided to hit her.

"Oh God!" Present Buffy clasped her hand over her mouth. "I’m horrible."

The Angel nodded. He was finally getting to her.

"I can’t believe how much Angel and I affected everyone!"

The Angel was smiling now. She was finally understanding.

"And I still can’t believe how much I don’t care!"

He frowned. Maybe not so much. He waved his hand and future Buffy walked up to present Buffy.

"Please Buffy," future Buffy begged, "don’t take me away. Don’t make me like I am now. I hate the way I am." She started to cry. Her eyes that were so full of sadness were now letting the pain seep out in tear drops.

Present Buffy looked at the angel in shock. "I thought you said she couldn’t hear us!"

The angel gave her a desperate glance. "I need to make you understand that you need to love Angel. It changes your life and the lives of everybody else."

"Listen to me." present Buffy said to future Buffy. "You don’t want your life to be different than it is now. Trust me. The pain that you are feeling now is nothing to the pain that I am feeling now. My heart is broken. I’m broken. You don’t want that pain! It aches and you feel like dying every second of everyday." She bit her lip.

Future Buffy slowly nodded. "I already am broken."

Present Buffy closed her eyes and walked away. Her shoulders slightly slumped in defeat. She hated this feeling. This impending emptiness.

The angel and the future Buffy watched her walk off into the distance. "I know what you’re thinking." She said.

He turned to her. "Oh yeah."

"But, she’ll come around. She always does. I know her. I am her. Can’t I ask one thing of you?"

The angel nodded.

"Make my life better. I can’t stand being like this. A freak. A horrible hidden monster. Please make me better." She huskily pleaded. Her salty tears rolling out of her tear-ducts.

The angel backed away while trying to hold in his own tears. "I can’t. I’m sorry. I can’t help you."

Future Buffy fell to her knees. She grabbed his hands as he backed away. "PLEASE!" She screamed. He waved his hand and he disappeared into a white light leaving her by herself. In the dark once again.

*********************

The angel frowned at the sight of Buffy sitting back on her bed. The solemn, empty look plastered on her face. "I can see you honestly do not want to remember your relationship with Angel."

Buffy gave him a blank stare and nodded in comply.

"I will take all your memories away. But first I want to show you what you are giving up."

"Why? I told you I don’t care. Just do your mojo on me and lets get this over with!"

The angel softly touched her forehead and she was thrown back into a full out montage of her relationship with Angel. Their entire relationship was played out in quick flashes dancing across her memory.

*** "Angel?" She asked from atop her soft bed.

"Hmm?" He asked, while half way sitting up to look her in the eyes.

"Do you snore?

"I don’t know. It’s been a long time since anybody’s been in a position to let me know."

She smiled, and then rolled on her side to fall asleep. ***

*** "You shouldn’t have to touch me when I’m like this." Angel said referring to his vampire face. He slightly turned his head in shame.

"Oh, I didn’t even notice." Buffy smiled at him and then kissed his lips passionately. ***

*** "Shh I..." Angel nervously started.

"You what?" She eagerly asked. Wanting to know what was yet to be said.

"I love you. I try not to, but I can’t stop." He admitted.

"Me , me, too. I can’t either." She agreed, and then collapsed into his arms. They kissed. ****

*** "I can stay in town as long as you want me." Angel shifted to wrap his arms around her tighter."

Buffy looked up at him with watery green eyes. "How’s forever? Does forever work for you?" He held her tighter. ***

Buffy opened her eyes as the flashes stopped. "Let me keep them. I know I said that I didn’t care about Angel, but please-just let me keep them."

She looked around and the angel disappeared. She fell back to her bed, and sobbed. She wanted to remember. With her whole being she wanted to remember how it felt to love.

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