Summary: What if Angel had watched Buffy jump into the hell portal?
Disclaimer: I do not claim said characters. Does that help?
Dedication: To Ashley. What you said meant something.
Author’s Notes: I have tons of unreleased fic, and since I am retiring (whoo hoo, and boo hoo!) I decided to release the unreleased. Does that make sense?
Distribution: Land of Denial, anyone else?
Rating: PG-13 at the most
Pairing: Well, B/A if you want to get technical. But they aren’t together in this fic.
Email: nickypoo2004@yahoo.com

I watched her with two watery, ancient eyes. For I was ancient as I watched my lover throw herself into the mouth of Hell. For that’s what it technically was. Hell.

My heart pounded like a drum inside my chest, and my heart doesn’t even beat. I ached.

My stomach rumbled, and I had the urge to scream! To shout! To stop her from doing what I knew she was going to do. What she was destined to do from the beginning. But my throat was dry.

And it ached. Everything ached.

Perfect timing.

Instead I shook like a leaf in my dark corner, and wished that the world was different. That we were different. That I was a normal man, with a beating heart. With a job and a mortgage. And she, a normal girl. Bitchy and jealous. But we weren’t normal, and now we would never have the chance. Ever.

I could hear the screams of her sister and her friends in the background, but it was all so cloudy inside my head.

She was falling.

Falling.

Falling.

Falling into an eternity of uncertainty. She was brave and courageous like that. So much better then me.

I couldn’t save her. And I wonder if I ever could. Soon she would be a distant memory inside my head.

Then she hit the ground with a smack. Her body connecting with boxes and concrete. I could hear the breaking of her beautiful and glorious form.

A sob escaped my mouth. And it grew. And grew, and grew. And it never stopped. I cried for an eternity. My sobs resounding against the halls of time. Bouncing off each wall into forever. My cry calling her name.

I hope I never feel this way again.

Ever.

I fade once more into the blackness, and retreat into myself.

The love of my life is gone.

May it resound off the halls of time forever.

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