DISCLAIMER: Joss ownes the Buffyverse. I own the fic. Stealing isn't cool. Neither is suing.
TIMELINE: Season 6 offshoot. Buffy/Spike business never happened. Angel has no kid.
SPOILERS: Current in Season 6, omitting the above happenings.
SYNOPSIS: Christmas and reflection on the past, present, and future.
DISTRIBUTION: Land of Denial, obviously. Anyone else who wants it is free to take it. Just let me know where it's going.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: The song that inspired this is "Fragile" by Sting. The lyrics at the end of the fic come from that song as well. I would highly recommend listening to the song at the same time you read, because it sets the mood quite well.
FEEDBACK: Send it! I live for it. Really, I do.
RATING: PG-13 because Angel swears *gasp*.

Buffy sighed softly and smiled gently at the figures of Spike and Dawn, leaning against each other in sleep. The two of them had been watching a movie when they had simply conked out. Buffy simply didn't have the heart to move them.

Her body ached with the residue of her recent exertions. The entire house was decorated in Christmas perfection; white lights were hung everywhere, wreaths were on the front door and front-facing windows, and an enormous tree was decorated tastefully in cream, red, gold, and glass in the corner of the living room. The glass ornaments were actually a gift from Spike, which he had proffered as equal parts present and peace offering mere hours before. While she had been reluctant to trust him at first, he had now proven himself beyond her doubts as a true ally. And, while she knew he was still uncomfortable with the idea of being a white hat, she had begun to take steps to allow him further into her family and heart.

A knock from the door brought her out of her peaceful reviere, and her exhaustion and aches came back full force. Groaning softly, she slowly made her way to the door, and opened it. She couldn't stop the smile from spreading over her entire face as the person who knocked was revealed to her.

"Merry Christmas."

The deep baritone of his voice sent shivers up her spine, and she immediatly opened her arms to him, "Merry Christmas, Angel."

He swept her up in a crushing hug, breathing in the scent of her skin and hair as he held her close with one arm, balancing his gifts in the other. She returned his hug enthusiastically, digging her nails into the fabric of his long duster, nose buried in his neck.

"Mmmm, come in, come in! Did you just get into town?"

"Yeah," he scooted past her, clutching at his presents precariously as he did so. Buffy scooped some of them out of his arms as he continued to talk, "Cordelia went to stop by her parent's house, and Gunn and Fred are getting something to eat before they come over. I take it I'm early?"

"A little," Buffy smiled sheepishly as she led him towards the tree, "I actually told you earlier so I could.. y'know. See you? Alone? Willow and Xander and the gang will be over once they pick Giles up from the airport."

Angel laughed and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of her head, "That's okay. I don't mind," he pasued in his words when he saw the two people asleep on the couch, "Am I seeing things?"

"No, you're not," Buffy chuckled, "They fell asleep."

"I think I've missed something very big. Since when was Spike welcome in your *home*?"

"Since I... got back. He and Dawn, they get along real well. He makes her feel not so alone. And.."

"And?"

"And... He'skindofinlovewithme."

Angel blinked at her and shook his head slowly, "And you're encouraging it?"

"Yes- No- I don't know. It's.. nice. And he's been a big help since I back. Really, he has. I think I might actually..."

"Trust him?" Buffy didn't answer and he sighed deeply, "I'll believe it when I see it."

"He's usually more demonstrative awake."

"That's okay," Angel took her by the hand and led her out of the room, "I don't need to believe it quite yet."

Buffy chuckled again and allowed him to lead her to the kitchen. The food was already laid out on the table, but the aroma of her full day of cooking still lingered in the air. She breathed the scent in deeply, allowing herself to begin to relax for the first time all day. Angel sat her at a barstool, and then busied himself getting them drinks. She smiled gratefully at him as he placed a steaming mug of spiced cider in front of her, taking a long sip from it before speaking.

"So, how are.. things?"

"Things are good," he said softly, "As good as can be, that is. Fred is adjusting well."

"She's the girl you saved on P- Pie Layer?"

"Pylea," he corrected, his voice tinged with laughter as he finally sat across from her, "And yes, that's her."

"Is she.. nice?"

"She's very nice," his eyes twinkled in amusement, "In a younger sister sort of way."

"Oh good," Buffy let out a breath she didn't know she ahd been holding before sucking one in at what she had said, "I mean.. Uh, it's good that she's, uh, adjusting... Yeah."

"It's okay, you're cute when you're jealous," Angel winked at her and Buffy glared back, "I only have eyes for you, and you know it."

"No I don't. We're not even dating."

"Buffy-"

"No. No, just let it go. I don't want to talk about that or anything remotely like that tonight. I want to enjoy the fact that you're here, and you're alive, and maybe actually enjoy the fact that *I'm* alive for once."

"I think," he regarded her carefully, "I think I like that idea."

"So lets start by having you come and sit next to me, hmm?"

He did as she asked, pulling her into the safe circle of his arms. She cuddled against his side and sipped at her cider as she spoke.

"Business good?"

"Yes."

"Soul intact?"

"Absolutely."

"Wolfram and Hart off your case?"

"Absolutely not."

"That sucks."

"It's okay. They seem to be taking a... different approach, this time around, though."

"Different good or different bad?"

"Just different."

"Have you gone cryptic on me again? Do I need to remind you how much I hate that?"

"They're trying to fuck me over using real estate."

That one made Buffy start somewhat, "Come again?"

"Something about my hotel being a health hazard."

"You have a hotel?"

"I bought one-" He stopped abruptly, sighing, "It's a really *really* long story. I'll tell you later. How are you?"

"I've been better."

"Are you adjusting more?"

"Kind of. Sort of. We're having some.. problems, here."

"What problems?"

"Willow problems."

"How so?"

"She's... Her magic is just getting out of hand. I'm scared for her, Angel. A couple weeks ago.. A couple weeks ago she almost got Dawn killed!"

"What?!"

"She de-ratted Amy, they went on a magic-spree, Willow got hooked on some guy's spells.. It was horrible. I'm so scared for her. She's trying to stop, but.. What if she can't?"

"I'm sure Tara will help her-"

"Tara left. She left because Willow was using too much magic."

"Buffy," he stroked her cheek softly, "Buffy I'm so sorry."

"It's just... When did my life turn into this? Where did it go so wrong?"

"It's not wrong, Buffy. It's just not perfect yet."

"I just keep thinking... We were special, y'know? You remember how it used to be, in the library with Giles, with Willow and Oz on the computer and Xander and Cordelia bickering... It was so perfect. We all were in the perfect place at the perfect time, finding the perfect things for the perfect solution. Where did we lose that?"

"Buffy..."

She smiled at the trepidation and regret in his voice, and quickly cut him off before he could blame himself, "It's not your fault. It was already gone when you left. I think.. I think it started to slip away when Cordy stopped coming. You know, after Xander and Willow... all of that. First Cordy left, then Oz stopped coming around so much. Mainly because of Xander. You came back, but you never really *came back*, y'know? And then you left... And now Giles is gone..."

"Buffy..."

"Now it's Anya and Tara and Xander and Willow and I, and while that's okay, it doesn't feel *right*. Our strength, it's.. gone."

"You're still strong."

"Physically, maybe. But you remember before. Cordy would get scared, Xander would get mad at her, Cordy would call him on his fear, Willow would comfort him, Oz would comfort her, I would comfort her, you would comfort me, and I would comfort you and Giles. We were strong like that. Now we just argue. Argue and kill."

"It's not that empty and you know it."

"We're so fragile now, Angel."

"All life is fragile," Angel said, his lips hovering near her ear, "All life is breakable, all life is finite. You can't change that. Life is precious because it's so fragile."

"We were strong then."

"We just thought we were. We've always been fragile."

"What about you? You're immortal."

"I'm the most fragile of all of us, because while life is fragile, it's inner force is strong. I don't have that inner force in me. There's nothing to stop me from shattering."

"I'll stop you."

"You can't," he smiled softly down at her, kissing the skin next to her ear, "But it's okay. I'm here to stop *you* from shattering."

"But without you-"

"You'd shatter. Exactly."

"What if *you* shatter first?"

"I won't," he kissed her again, this time at the corner of her mouth, "I love you too much to shatter."

"You promise?"

"Forever."

"Me too."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Their lips met in a sweet kiss, each drinking in each others' essences through the soft touch of lips and tongue. They lost themselves in the feel of each other, their ears deaf to the sound of new rain in the air, pouding on the door, or the shouts of their friends begging to be let in.

On and on the rain will see
How fragile we are
How fragile we are

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