DISCLAIMER: Pshaw. You think I own them?
TIMELINE: Season 3, the very VERY end.
SPOILERS: Mostly the events of Grad 2.
SYNOPSIS: A re-hash of the end of Graduation Day 2, to music.
DISTRIBUTION: Land of Denial. Anyone else can have it, just tell me the URL.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: The song is "I'll Follow the Sun" by the Beatles. The queen of songfics strikes again.
FEEDBACK: SEND IT SEND IT SEND IT!
RATING: G

Angel stared into the smoke that floated through the air, remnants of the burning building that used to be Sunnydale High School. Ambulances were scattered all over the parking lot, and students were crying and laughing on each other's shoulders. He had seen Buffy, swamped by students and teachers and friends who were thanking her from saving all their lives. He had seen the dazed look on her face. His heart had broke.

It seemed to be doing that a lot lately. His heart, that is. It never seemed to be able to stay in one piece anymore. Everything in the mansion, in his apartment.. it reeked of her presence. He could smell her on everything; his sheets, his wood, his walls, everything. He loved her more tha he ever thought he was capable of. Even as a human he didn't think he'd be able to love this deeply, this thoroughly. This painfully.

He feared the pain more than anything else. He couldn't stand to see it in her eyes, couldn't stand to feel it in her touch. He hated what he had done to her for so many months, hated himself for not knowing enough about his curse to prevent it. He couldn't bear to even think it could or would happen again. So he was leaving. For her own good. As long as he kept telling himself that. For her own good.

One day you'll look to see I've gone
For tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun
One day you'll see I was the one
But tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun

She would have such a beautiful life. It didn't matter how long it lasted; he knew it would be beautiful. She would have happiness and joy, and she would have love again. Even he may love again. He wasn't a fool; he knew he'd never love anyone like he loved her. He doubted he'd ever be as happy as she made him. But he knew it was for the best. Because she deserved so much more than darkness and demons, and curses that were tethered by fragile string. She deserved more than the threat of death and torment by her lover's hand. And that's all he had to give her.

The idea of leaving her killed him inside, beating his already-dead heart to a shapeless lump. He was numb by this point, numb to the pain and the love and the tears that were running down his face. She looked up and her eyes met his through the smoke and the bright lights of ambulances, locking onto his gaze. He stared deep into her hazel orbs, memorizing every color and every speck of light that shone in them. He memorized the picture of her soul that they painted, memorized the love shining out of them. He soaked in all the love he could take in that endless moment, then turned away. And as his heart shattered once more, he walked away.

And now the time has come
And so, my love, I must go
And though I lose a friend
In the end you will know

Buffy hugged her arms around herself, trying to ward off the heat of the burning building and the chill in her heart. She knew Angel was alive, she could feel his presence deep in her body. It throbbed there like a block of ice over her heart, chilling her to the core. She realized with a start that she would always be able to feel him now, despite any distance they put between themselves, and the thought caused her heart to break once more. She couldn't imagine life feeling him but not being able to touch him.

Oh, who was she kidding? Her heart broke over and over again with the mere thought that he was leaving. She knew he'd go any minute now, and that only made it worse. Couldn't he understand that she needed him? That she would always need him? What if she was in trouble? What if she needed his help?

Would he tell her where he was going? Would she have his phone number? What if someone got hurt? What if she got in over her head? What if she... What if she died again??

One day you'll find that I have gone
But tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun
Yes, tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun

She felt eyes burning into the side of her head and she whirled around, body tensing in fear. Her eyes met Angel's across the parking lot, memorizing his mahogany gaze as best she could. Her blood surged, her heart pounding in her chest. This was too soon. He couldn't go, not yet! She needed him. She needed to cry on his shoulder and tell him that she never really wanted Principal Snyder to die. To tell him that she had left her last diary in the library and it had blown up along with the rest of the school. To tell him that she remembered the first time she went into the library and how she liked Giles against her will and now the library was gone. Tell him about her biology teacher that had been eaten by the Praying Mantis lady and how she'd left his glasses in his coat in the room and now they were gone! Tell him how even though Larry was a bastard, he had died fighting for her cause, and she couldn't take the guilt. He couldn't leave yet, he just couldn't!

And now the time has come
And so, my love, I must go
And though I lose a friend
In the end you will know

If he could feel her desperation, he gave no indication, and she nearly keened as he broke her gaze. He slowly turned and stood for a moment, and she thought maybe he had changed his mind. And then without looking back, he began to walk away.

Buffy collapsed in on herself, tears pouring down her cheeks as she watched his form disappear into the smoke and chaos. Her heart broke for the millionth time that minute, only this time it didn't begin to knit back together. She imagined it bleeding in her chest, and she wrapped her arms even tighter around herself as she poured her grief out.

One day you'll find that I have gone
But tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun

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