Disclaimer: Riley most certainly belongs to Joss and the like. I wish I owned the other characters (except Xander and Joyce) because they're very cool (and Angel is very hot) but I don't so don't say that I do cos I'm admitting I don't, so don't say that I didn't say that they're not mine. Huh?
Rating: It's very mild. One count of blood, that's it. Not even a proper snog!
Spoilers: It shall spoil nothing cos in my little world nothing is as it should be. *g*
Season: 4
Teaser: Riley meets Angel, who is Buffy's boyfriend and then he does something typically stupid...
Author's note: I'm working on my 'I-Hate-Riley' stories cos I need some gruesome uplifting and the untimely demise of Riley 'Fish-Boy' Finn is just what I need (thank you Ducks). Okay, you're all gonna groan when you read this bit but...I dedicate this story to Marc Blucas because he probably gets a lot of lip for playing Riley and it's really not his fault, but I still hate Riley. Don't ever say that I like him because I will come and torture you horrifically. It'll be so bad it'll put Angelus to shame. :) No Parker! Yay! LOL

Buffy dragged her feet through the cemetery. It had been a very boring night. There'd been no vampires or demons for her to beat up whatsoever. Except for Spike who'd been legging it from the Initiative. And thinking of the Initiative brought her full circle back to the main problem: Riley Finn, her TA in psychology. She'd seen the guy many times out at night, trying to act casual but not fooling anyone. She could see easily through his thin disguise, he was a yes-man pure and simple. In plainer English, he was a soldier in the Initiative. Only two things made the situation worse. First, he kept thinking she was an innocent young college girl who couldn't defend herself against a mouse. A mouse? She'd faced some of the worst scum evil could throw at her. Secondly, it didn't take a rocket scientist to know that he had a crush on her. It was obviously puppy love, sad really.

But at least all things weren't bad. Angel was coming down from L.A for the weekend, which was definitely a good thing. She was glad they were back together. The months after he'd left had been torture, and many times she'd considered just walking out at night and letting herself get killed. Of course, some nagging voice in the back of her mind always told her the idea was stupid. And now that Angel was back, she was glad she'd listened to her common sense. A twig snapped behind her, and she whirled around to face her opponent.

Riley. Oh yay for her.

"Hey Buffy," he said cheerfully, practically skipping over to where she stood. Buffy quickly snapped her arms back to her side from where they'd been resting comfortably in a fighting position.

"Hey Riley," she replied with a flat voice. He didn't notice. She spun around on her heel and continued walking, but Riley joined her anyway.

"So what are you doing out in a cemetery this late at night?" he asked her. Buffy rolled her eyes. She really didn't need nor want this.

"I could ask you the same question," she retorted sharply. Being the dumb idiot that he was, Riley didn't get that either. He stuttered a bit, trying to think up an excuse. He couldn't get his small brain to work up even one.

"So! D'you want a sweet?" he asked, stopping and reaching into his pocket and pulling out a grimy, discoloured minuscule cola bottle. Buffy grimaced at the sight of the diseased sweet.

"No thanks. I'm not hungry," she replied as she turned and quickly picked up the pace again. Riley jogged after her, chewing on the gross sweet.

"I've been thinking," he started and Buffy rolled her eyes. The dork had been thinking! The world was coming to an end. She mentally slapped herself for jinxing the hellmouth.

"About?" Buffy pushed against her will.

"Would you like to come with me to Iowa for the holidays?" he asked. Buffy halted in her tracks, struggling for breath.

"To your house?" she squeaked. He nodded, a huge stupid grin on his face showing off his yellow teeth.

"Uh huh! To my farm. Maybe one day, it'll be OUR farm!" He lost himself in his little fantasy, as Buffy tried not to. As gross mental pictures flooded her brain, she winced at each one. She was snapped out of her nightmare when she got that wonderful, tingling sensation. Her breath and heartbeat quickened as adrenaline coursed through her veins. Angel was back. Just as she'd thought it, his hands slid around her small waist from behind and he kissed the scar on her neck.

"Hey," he greeted in a low voice. Buffy sighed happily as a contented smile lit up her pretty face.

"Hey," she replied. Riley slowly came back to planet Earth from whatever dimension he was from at Buffy's voice.

"But I've been here awhile," he pointed out, before noticing Angel hugging her. He immediately pulled himself up to his full, if pathetic height. Angel noticed this 'manly' gesture and also stood up tall. He had an inch or two on the boy, and at least twice as much muscle. Buffy suppressed a giggle at the distraught look on Riley's face as he sized up the very strong, very hot, and very her Angel. Noticing that Riley was now less inclined to thinking he was gonna win over him, Angel relaxed and curled himself protectively around Buffy.

"And this is?" Angel asked with distaste clear in his tone. He gestured to the real blonde in front of him with his hand. Buffy also looked at Riley, and noticed for the first time that he dressed worse than Xander. Eew!

"This is Riley Finn, my psych TA," she told Angel with a kiss to his cheek. He nodded slightly, looking him over once.

"Can we help you?" Angel asked clearly, because the kid certainly looked dopey. Riley straightened up again.

"Who are you?" Riley asked in his most pompous voice, and Buffy couldn't help but compare him to Wesley. Angel smiled at the boy, trying to act brave.

"I'm Angel," he replied simply. Riley was still as confused as ever.

"And you're Buffy's...what, brother? Cousin? You're too old to be her boyfriend..." He trailed off at Buffy and Angel's bemused expressions.

"Angel is my boyfriend, Riley," she told him with a mocking laugh. The crestfallen expression on Riley's face made Angel roar with laughter. Buffy let him have his fill until it would make her appear cruel, then she whacked him on the arm to signify he should shut up. He did. She smiled up at Riley apologetically, her eyes shiny with amusement. Riley smiled down at her, feeling up-lifted that Buffy still liked him and that maybe she would split up with her boyfriend and come with him to Iowa to meet Bessie, his cow. How he missed Bessie!

"So about my offer?" he remind Buffy. Angel immediately sobered up.

"What offer?" he asked his girlfriend warily. Buffy shrugged.

"Riley asked me if I wanted to go to Iowa with him over the holidays," she replied carelessly.

"And..." the vampire and boy pushed.

"And I'm sorry to say this but I have other plans for the holiday that involve flying to a state in the opposite direction of Iowa so I'm sorry Riley." Riley was silent for a moment as his lower lip trembled. Was he going to cry? No, he spared Buffy and Angel the hassle of a bawling idiot. Eventually he managed to gather the tattered remains of his non-existent dignity and pulled himself together enough to shrug at Buffy's reply.

"S'okay," he slurred, sniffing slightly. Angel pitied him greatly, as well as mocked him silently. Buffy was just shocked this guy had survived the cruelty of junior high and high school. She could almost hear the laughs and jeers. Buffy pulled herself out of her thoughts and gave Riley another warm smile.

"Well, we've gotta go. See ya!" She gave him a wave as the two walked off the path to get around Riley's body. He turned to watch them go with tears in his eyes.

The lovers walked on in blissful peace, thinking of their planned holiday to Hawaii together since Angel had the Gem of Amara now, until they heard Riley scream. They spun around to find him clutching his foot. Buffy ran over and bent down to see what was wrong. There was blood pouring out of the wounded limb. Buffy looked up at Riley's pain-filled face but instead saw the barrel of a pistol. He'd shot himself in the foot. Angel realised it at the same time she did and couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped him as he slung the boy's arms around his broad shoulders.

"Stupid boy," he muttered as Buffy took off her tank top and tied it tightly around Riley's ankle. He howled in pain.

"Oh shut up," she commanded. She shivered in the cool night air. The sports bra she wore wasn't really warming. The three made it slowly through the cemetery, Riley whining all the way.

Out on the road Forrest and Graham confronted them. Upon seeing Buffy, they quickly hid their strange, vampire-detecting kit.

"Are you okay?" Forrest asked Riley. Buffy cleared her throat and the spotlight was turned to her.

"No fears. Soldier-boy just shot himself in the foot," she informed them. They looked from her to Riley with horrified expressions on their faces. Buffy could read them like a book. "No, he didn't tell me he was part of the Initiative. I just used my brains and outside sources." That didn't ease their worry. Forrest suddenly planted his attention on Angel as Graham took Riley away from the apparently normal guy.

"So what exactly are you?" he asked him with a dangerous edge to his voice. Angel choked up so Buffy moved to stand protectively in front of him.

"Angel is a vampire. I kill vampires. I'm going to kill him later tonight," she said, before shuddering. "I'm cold. Let's go, and I'll kill you when we get inside," she told Angel with a mischievous smile. He smiled back and the two left arm in arm. Forrest watched them go before turning his attention to the crying Riley.

"Man, how stupid are you?" he said incredulously as the three soldier boys moved off.

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