RATING: R for character deaths and one tiny line at the end
SPOILERS: "The Freshman" and "Living Conditions." Angel implied.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Not yours. They belong to Joss, the WB, and FOX. This is a not-for-profit fanfiction. No infringement is intended.
NOTES: This is a BAD-FICLET originally written as a challenge on impure-l, and should not be taken as an example of my writing abilities. This was just me venting at the beginning of the season before we knew much about Riley and the commando goons, or how Spike would be returning. In other words, it has been Joss'd. Normally I would write a new fiction as an intro, but the Christabel Chronicles are taking up all my fic time ... except for one other piece, but it's very angsty. Anything else? Oh, yes, this is not for Xander and/or Willow lovers even if it is very short.

Three days ago, Buffy had thought she would never be happy again. Her entire life seemed to be unraveling before her eyes, and she felt like she was dragging everyone else into her personal hell.

College was not fun.

But then, she hadn't expected it to be. However, what she really never expected was that the Evil Bitch Monster Of Death and her TA would be rogue members of the Council. Rogues who were bent on destroying her, come hell or high water. Of course, she had taken care of them. In typical Buffy-fashion, no less.

But not before they landed Giles and Xander in the hospital.

After the smoke cleared, she and Willow (who had broken up with Oz because he was attracted to another werewolf named Veruca), preceded to have a pity party. The leftover Chinese food still littered the floor, along with the empty Claret bottle. After wine with dinner, they moved onto chocolate fudge brownies and Lagavulin for desert.

It was barely an hour later that Spike showed up with a surprise visitor for Buffy.

Angel.

The two vampires had taken one look at the two girls and realized they were utterly and completely trashed. Spike volunteered to toss Willow in the shower, leaving Angel to cope with Buffy.

Which he did by taking her to the mansion and making love to her. Many, many times.

When her hangover receded the next day, he told her about the spell Cordelia had stumbled across that made his soul permanent. After a few arguments and much angsting, they finally realized that they were meant for each other and gave up trying to stay apart.

***

Meanwhile, a carnivorous demon got loose in the hospital and ate Xander. Strangely (or not so strangely) enough, it died shortly thereafter. The Medical Examiner said it had suffered from a lethal case of food poisoning.

Willow disappeared. Spike swore he didn't know anything, but no one believed him. Not that they cared.

Oz and Veruca got together. She taught him how to transform at will, and they were a great help to the Slayer on her nightly patrols.

Spike met Anya and discovered that, as an ex-demon, she was right up his alley. They left Sunnydale to go see the world. The Scoobs get cards every Halloween.

Ethan, upon hearing of Giles' brush with death, came back to Sunnydale. He went straight to the hospital and declared his undying love for the ex-Watcher, and promised not to mess with bad magic again. Of course, everyone knew he was lying. But when he screws up now, he has to not only face the wrath of his lover, but of two werewolves, a vampire, and a Slayer.

Joyce died when the 747 she was on crashed into the Pacific.

***

As for our favorite couple?

Torrents of rain had kept them at the mansion since the night Angel had carried her away. Not that they were in any hurry to leave.

No, Buffy was perfectly content to lay back on her goose-down comforter, and Angel was happy just to continue suckling his beloved's breast. No lust, just love. As she threaded her fingers through his dark, silky hair, her fingers caressing his scalp, he started to purr.

All was right in her world.

And they all lived happily ever after.

*snicker* I told you it was BAD!

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