5 - What's a Best Friend to Do?

The bell on the door chimed and Willow turned around to look at the potential customer who had just entered the shop. She smiled when she recognized the person.

"Buffy!" The witch greeted her friend. "I haven't seen you in ages."

Buffy smiled back at the red-haired witch. Willow, like most people she knew these days, had originally been introduced to her through Angel, but after a while the two girls had become the best of friends and to Buffy it felt like she had known Willow since her early school days.

"Hi, Will!" She greeted her. "Sorry I haven't been around much. Things have been ... not easy."

Willow recognized the dark look on her friend's face. She knew, of course, that Angel and Buffy had had a falling out. She hated it when her friends didn't get along with each other. Angel and her weren't really close friends, though, more like comrades in arms or something similar. At one time the Vampire had needed the help of a witch and had found one, or two to be exact. Buffy, on the other hand, was her best friend.

"Hi, Buffy!" Tara came in from the back of the shop she and Willow ran together. The Magic Box was the largest store for occult shopping in the greater Los Angeles area and the two witches made a healthy profit here. Most of it came from black candles and glow-in-the-dark posters, though. There weren't a whole lot of real witches or other mystics around.

"Hi, Tara! Mind if I steal your girl for a minute?" Buffy smiled. She knew that Willow and Tara were lovers. Some days it freaked her out a bit, but she had learned to be, if not exactly supportive, then at least neutral on the subject. She liked Willow and Tara too much to let the bigot inside her ruin their friendship.

"S-Sure!" The blonde witch said, leaning on the counter and studying some papers. Buffy motioned for Willow to go outside and the two young women sat down in an outdoor cafe but minutes later, ordering milk shakes.

"What's up?" Willow asked her friend.

"I ... I wanted to talk to you about a few things that ... that have been going through my mind these last few weeks."

Willow nodded, motioning for Buffy to go on. Was this about her and Angel? Willow didn't know why the two of them had broken up and curiosity was getting the better of her.

"I ... tell me when I stop making sense okay? I ... had a long talk with Angel a few weeks ago. The night we broke up. I'd been dropping hints a long time before that, but he never picked up on them. So I just went out and told him."

"Told him what?" Willow asked.

"That I wanted him to turn me into a Vampire."

For a long moment Willow just stared at her best friend, unable to say anything. Had she heard that right? Had Buffy really just told her that she'd asked Angel to turn her into a Vampire?

"Buffy," she managed after a while, "why did you do that? You can't really be considering ..."

"Of course I can." She interrupted. "Why does everyone think I am loony? Willow, I love Angel. He is immortal, I am not. If we do nothing I will grow old while he will stay twenty-six for the rest of eternity. I think he might even stay with me when I'm an old hag, but that isn't the point. I want to be with him. Forever. That's the whole point of it."

Willow was surprised by the intensity of Buffy's outburst. Looking into her friend's eyes the witch saw that she meant every word of it. Every single word.

"What did Angel say?" Willow asked, playing for time to figure out what she was supposed to say.

Buffy laughed without humor.

"His reaction was pretty much the same as yours. He said I couldn't possibly want this, that it would be wrong, that he would never be able to do this to me. God, he sounded like I'd asked him to kill me, not ..."

"But that's exactly what you asked, Buffy." Willow interrupted her now. "You asked him to sink his fangs into your neck. To drain your blood. That is what you asked of him."

"I wouldn't really be dead." Buffy said. "Just ..."

"Buffy, you have to look at things from Angel's point of view." Willow interrupted her again. "The woman he loves asks him to kill her. How would you react?"

Willow's words got Buffy thinking. Was that the way Angel looked at it? Was that why he was so strongly set against it? Only because he couldn't bring himself to do it?

"I have been thinking about ... other ways." Buffy said after a while. "I mean, if Angel can't do it, there are others ..."

"Are you really considering asking some strange Vampire to turn you?" Willow asked, disbelief in her voice. "God, Buffy, what is happening here? What has made you so desperate? You are twenty-one for God's sake. You won't be a hag for a long, long time."

Buffy had never known her best friend to be so worked up about anything. Normally Willow was one of the shyest people around, only her girlfriend Tara was worse. One wouldn't know it right now, though.

"I love him so much, Willow." Buffy said, searching for the words to express what she felt inside her. "I can see it happening every day. He stays the same, but I am changing. He always tells me I am growing more beautiful, but that is but temporary. I am changing, he is not. I will go right on changing until I die a few decades from now and then he will be alone. He will never die and once I am gone we will be apart forever."

Some tears were trailing down her cheeks now.

"I want things to stay like they are, Will!" Buffy said. "I want to be twenty-one year old happy Buffy forever, with my Angel by my side. Is that so hard to understand?"

Willow just stared at her.

"It's not about becoming a Vampire!" Buffy continued. "It's about being with him. I am not eager to say good bye to the sun forever. I will miss tasting real food. But all that isn't important when I can be with him forever. If there were another way to accomplish that I would be upon it in a second. But only Vampires live forever, Will. It's the only way."

The two friends descended into silence for a few minutes, Willow trying to wrap her mind around the things Buffy had just told her, Buffy waiting for Willow's reaction.

"You are serious." Willow said finally. "You really want to do this."

"When I talked to Angel about it, I didn't want him to change me right then and there, Will. Maybe in another ten years or so. As you said, I am still young. But now I don't see any other way but to present him with fait accompli. I ... I can't stand being apart from him, Will!"

Willow nodded, slowly coming to understand, or at least appreciate, the depth of her friend's feelings. Never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined having such a conversation with Buffy, but looking back, it was to be expected. Seldom had she seen two people so much in love with each other. Could she really blame Buffy for wanting it to last forever?

"Buffy," she began, "I think ... I think I am beginning to understand why you want to do it. But you can't honestly want to just collect some Vampire from the street and make him turn you, can you?"

Buffy shook her head. "I want Angel to do it, Will. He is the only one I would want as my Sire. But if he won't do it ..."

She looked up again.

"There is that new Vampire church setting up shop in town. They call themselves Church of the Holy Blood. Religious nuts who think Jesus was a Vampire and giving his blood to his apostles to give them all eternal life."

"You don't ..." Willow began.

"Believe that? Of course not. But Will, I talked to them. If I convert to their religion, they will make me a Vampire. It won't take place in a filthy back alley or something. There will be an attorney, medical people will supervise it, all will be legal and safe."

It was Willow's turn to shake her head now.

"Buffy, please! Don't do something like that spur of the moment! Think about it! You're talking about joining some kind of cult."

"Only for show, Willow. I don't like these people, but they can give me what I need. So who cares if I have to mouth some words about believing all that stuff? I'm sure the big guy knows what I really believe."

Willow closed her eyes. What her friend was planning was wrong, she knew that, but she didn't find the words to convince her of it. What was she supposed to say when it was obvious that Buffy was already set in her plan?

"Willow, please! I was hoping you would understand. If there was any other way, I would do it, but the way things are ..."

She stopped talking as she saw Willow's brow furrowing. The words Buffy had just spoken sparked something inside the witch's head. Another way to be immortal? She had read something about that just a short time ago, hadn't she?

"If there was another way you would drop this entire becoming a Vampire thing?" Willow asked.

Buffy looked at her, confused. "Yes. But Will, there isn't. I didn't just jump into this, you know? I researched. There are about a thousand spells and rituals that are supposed to make you immortal, but none of them work and most of them are fatal. I'm not the first human to look for immortality, you know?"

Willow stood up from the table and grabbed Buffy by the arm.

"Willow, what ...?"

"I read about something like that." The witch told her friend as she dragged her back to the Magic shop. "And that means you won't go one step further with that plan of yours until I've read it again, okay? If I can't stop you from doing this, then by God I'm gonna make sure that you do it right."

Buffy was taken aback by Willow's forcefulness, but inside she smiled. Finally she had found someone who didn't want to immediately institutionalize her because of her idea. And who knew, if Willow really knew a better way to become immortal ...

It might turn out to be a good day after all.

6 - You Can't See Tears In the Rain

NOTE: The Latin phrase Buffy reads from the book is freely translated from English, using an online dictionary. All Latin-speakers, please don't be mad at me for my no doubt horrible translation. I just looked up the words and threw them together until they sounded cool. Forgive me!

#

The Hyperion Hotel loomed in front of Buffy like a great dark fortress and she felt a chill in her bones. She hadn't been back here since the day Angel had sent her away, refusing to be the one to come crawling back to him. She had been here often before that, of course, had practically lived here for close to three years.

Never before had the building looked that intimidating to her.

"Get your act together, Summers!" She admonished herself. "Everything will turn out right tonight and how come the big heap Vampire Slayer is scared of a building anyway?"

With new resolve, or maybe just the illusion of resolve, she walked toward the entrance of the Hotel. This time it would work out right. It wasn't like she would try and make him turn her into a Vampire tonight. He would be happy that she had found an alternative and then everything would be fine.

She didn't allow herself to remember that she had thought the same two months ago, on the night they had broken up.

Pushing open the doors she walked into the lobby, the chatter of several people reaching her ears.

"I still think I should tell him." That was Doyle's voice.

"And I think you should keep your nose out of his fucking business, man!" That was Gunn.

"Look!" Doyle again. "I know she is a tough lady and all, but I know how cults like that one operate. It's brainwashing and if she is getting caught up in that ..."

"You are not, by chance, speaking about me, are you?" Buffy walked into view.

Doyle and Gunn stood face to face, but turned to look at her with identical expressions of surprise on their faces.

"Buffy!" Doyle managed after a minute or so. "Princess, nice to see you back."

"Yeah!" Gunn added. "What he said."

"Is Angel in?" Buffy asked them.

"Angel? Oh yeah, Angel! He's in, yeah! Upstairs. You know, his rooms. Of course you know, you were there a couple of times."

Buffy smiled as she walked past the rambling Doyle.

"Don't worry, Doyle! I'm not planning on converting anytime soon, okay? But it's sweet of you to worry!"

She left him standing with his mouth wide open and walked up the stairs to the rooms she had shared with Angel until two months ago. She wouldn't really have needed Doyle to tell her that he was in. She knew. Somehow she knew.

He knew, too, as was apparent by the fact that he was looking at her the moment she walked in.

"Hi!" Buffy said, suppressing the urge to give him a stupid wave or something.

"Buffy!" He just said, his face carefully neutral. What was going on inside his head, she wondered. Gladness to see her warring with worry over what she was up to now? Probably something like that.

"I was hoping ... can we talk? If you have the time, I mean."

Angel stayed silent, but motioned for her to come in. Buffy quickly walked over to where he sat and dropped into the chair close to him, scooting it around until they sat face to face.

"Angel, I ... I did a lot of thinking these past two months. About ... about what I asked you to do and why it managed to drive such a wedge between us."

He said nothing, just looked at her with that terribly neutral face. It was a Vampire thing, she suspected. That thing where they just stopped moving, stopped breathing, until you could mistake them for wax dolls. So terribly silent that you were afraid they'd vanish the moment you blinked.

"Do you still love me?" She asked him suddenly. She hadn't planned to ask that, but suddenly she had to know. She had to be certain.

"Of course I do." He said without hesitation. "But that was never the question, was it?"

She shook her head. No, it had never been the question. She had never truly believed that he had sent her away and refused to call because he didn't love her anymore. She just had to be certain.

"I regret ... some of the things I said to you two months ago." She said after another awkward moment of silence.

"Some?" Angel asked.

"You are not an antique, prude asshole." She said with the barest hint of a smile on her lips.

Angel remained stoic for a moment, but then a shadow of a smile played across his features as well.

"Okay." He said. "You remember that I called you a stubborn and thickheaded idiot?"

"Yes."

"I don't think you're an idiot."

For a moment she just stared at him, then both chuckled and the smiles grew broader. Buffy reached out and clasped her hand in his.

"God, I missed you so much, Angel." She whispered.

"I missed you, too, beloved."

They embraced and for a long moment Buffy forgot everything about her plan, immortality, and Vampires. She was back in the arms of her Angel and that was the only thing that mattered to her right now. God, how had she managed two months without him?

The moment passed, however, and Buffy remembered the reason why she was here.

"Angel!" She gently slipped from his embrace. "We need to talk. About ... about what we discussed the last time."

Angel's neutral face immediately snapped back into place like a solid mask, a poker face he had perfected in more than two centuries. Try as she might, Buffy could not see past that mask.

"About you wanting to become a Vampire." He said, his voice flat and emotionless.

"Yes, that."

She looked down, looking for the words she had put together so well when practicing this talk before the mirror last night. It had sounded so easy back then.

"Angel, I ... I didn't think what I was asking from you. I am sorry that I didn't think what it would mean for you."

She could see the barest crack in his mask.

"So you have given up on this insane idea?" He asked, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"It's not insane." She said before she had time to think about it. His face immediately darkened.

"I am not prepared to go through this again." He said, beginning to rise from his chair.

"Angel! Wait!" She put her hand on his shoulder and gently pressed him back into the chair. "It won't be a repeat of the argument we had two months ago, okay? I won't ask you to turn me into a Vampire again, I promise!"

He sat back down, but there was suspicion in his eyes.

"What then, Buffy? Why are you here?" The cold in his voice surprised her. What was so terrible about her idea that it made him behave like this?

"It was never about becoming a Vampire, Angel!" She told him. "It was about being with you forever and I thought that becoming a Vampire was the only way. But I was wrong."

"Wrong in what way?" Angel asked.

"I found a better way!" She informed him, smiling.

"A ... better way?"

She took the book Willow had given her from her rucksack and showed it to him. For a moment he was confused, the cover read "Vampiric Rituals and Magic" in Latin. Then his face darkened again.

"Buffy?" He asked, fearing that he already knew what she had uncovered.

"Vinculum Dies Noctis Cruentos!" Buffy read from one of the pages. "Sorry, couldn't memorize the words. It means ..."

"Day and Night, bonded in Blood." Angel said.

She looked up at him. "You know the words?"

"I know the ritual." Angel said and stood, walking out of the room. Buffy was confused. He knew the ritual? Then why ...? She quickly stood, the book under her arm, and ran after him.

Angel stood on the balcony and looked out into the night of LA, the city that had been his home for over half a century now. Rain clouds were gathering in the skies above, hiding what few stars the lights of the city allowed him to see.

He closed his eyes as he heard Buffy coming onto the balcony behind him.

"Angel, what is the matter with you?" She demanded. "I thought you'd be happy to ..."

"Happy?" He twisted around to face her and she gasped when she saw that his demon face had slipped over his human features. "Happy? Buffy, do you have any idea what you are asking me?"

She didn't break away from his gaze.

"I'm asking to be with you forever. This blood bond allows a Vampire to bond with a human. The human will gain immortality without becoming a Vampire, the two will be bonded for all time."

"Did you read that to the end?" Angel growled at her. "It also says the bond is irreversible. Eternal. And when one of those bonded dies, the other will die with him."

"So?" Buffy yelled at him. "Do you honestly think I care about that? I want to be with you forever, damn it! If you were to die I wouldn't want to continue living."

He turned away and Buffy felt tears in her eyes.

"Angel! What the hell is the matter with you? Why are you so afraid of this? I ... I thought you wanted the same. I thought you would want to be with me forever."

When he didn't react she angrily wiped the tears from her face, even as the first raindrops began to fall down on them.

"But if I was wrong, if you don't want that, then tell me now! Tell me so I can forget this stupid idea and we can go our separate ways!"

She could see him tensing, his hands clenching into fists, but he didn't turn around. After a minute or so Buffy dropped the book to the floor and turned away from him.

"Sorry to waste your time." She said. "I won't bother you again!"

All the way to the door she hoped that Angel would call after her, that he would come running and tell her why he was behaving this way. Tell her that he loved her.

He didn't.

Buffy left the Hyperion without looking back, her tears lost in the rain that was now pouring down on the city of angels.

7 - Right of Assembly

#

"I don't like this." Spike mumbled under his breath for what had to be the hundredth time.

"I get the message." Faith said. "Though maybe you'd want to repeat it one more time so I can be certain I understood you correctly."

"Bugger off!"

Truth to tell they were both miserable. The rain had been pouring down for three nights straight now and showed no sign of letting up. Unfortunately the lousy weather hadn't kept the idiots off the streets. So here they were, getting soaked, while a parade of idiots parroted in front of them.

"First public assembly my ass." Spike mumbled. "Couldn't they have picked another night?"

The Church of the Holy Blood had invited everyone interested in their message to attend a public gathering in one of Los Angeles' parks. Angel had had Kate check things out and the assembly was a hundred percent legal, approved by the city government, all the papers filled
out and stamped. There was nothing they could do about it.

Faith watched the representatives of the church wearily. She had lived on the streets for a good long while, mostly to escape from the latest bunch of foster parents the state had handed her off to, and was suspicious of all kinds of people that promised you heaven on earth if only you would do what they told you. Who knew, if not for Angel, maybe she would be caught up in one of those cults by now. She shuddered at the thought.

Doyle had told them that he had seen Buffy during one of the church's gatherings. She also knew that her sister Slayer had had another falling out with Angel, though she still didn't know what it was about. Faith didn't like it. She didn't like it at all.

The church people had erected a podium in the middle of a large clearing, complete with speakers, lights, and everything else you needed for a good show. Except the necessary weather for it, Faith added. Rain storms weren't the right atmosphere for a holy message.

About a hundred people were already gathered in the clearing. Taking the miserable weather into account, that was a whole lot. She also saw a few people who didn't look like they were here to convert. They watched the proceedings with grim faces and some of them carried
posters.

Faith could just make out one of them. It read JESUS IS NO BLOODSUCKER!!!.

"This could be trouble." She told Spike, who was busy being miserable.

"That's what them are here for, I'd wager."

A full compliment of LA's finest were also present, wearing rain gear and looking every bit as miserable as most other people present. No, she resolved, this wouldn't be a great night for the Church of the Holy Blood.

A dozen or so Vampires stood on the podium, looking out at the gathering crowd. Some workers were busy trying to fix a huge canopy over the clearing to keep out the rain, but only two corners of it were fastened by now. Sadly the rain didn't seem to bother the Vamps. They just stood there and looked around.

Her eyes traveled to the Vampire called Jerome, by all accounts the leader of this bunch. He was handsome, she had to admit, and even standing still and doing nothing he did emit some kind of charisma that easily drew eyes toward him. He would have made a good politician, Faith thought.

"What do you think?" She asked Spike, nudging him to look in Jerome's direction.

"Old bugger." Spike just said. "I'd say two centuries and change. Maybe three."

Faith knew that Darla had tried to gather some more information about Jerome, but so far they only knew that he was not a member of the Order of Aurelius, the Vampire bloodline that Darla headed. There were eleven other bloodlines - ten if you omitted the nearly defunct
Order of Grigori - and there was no central database or anything for their members.

"The others?"

"Some of them might just be old enough to remember being monsters." Spike said. "Most are under a hundred, though. Jerome's the bugger we have to look out for."

Faith nodded. After nearly three years of training and working out with Buffy she had the Slayer instincts down pat and zeroed in on Jerome. Her instincts were calling for her to just jump him and ram a stake into his heart. Of course they were saying the same about the Vampire standing by her side.

Jerome looked in her direction and their eyes locked. For a moment Faith was sure that he knew exactly what, if not who she was. His eyes flashed demon amber.

"Yeah, fucker!" She mumbled. "Slayer's here to keep an eye on you."

Jerome held her gaze for a moment longer, then looked away again, behaving as if nothing was wrong. Maybe he hadn't recognized her after all. Or maybe he just felt safe with the law protecting him.

"Don't feel too safe!" Faith mumbled again.

Half an hour later the rain had faded to a light drizzle and the clearing, now shielded by the canopy, was packed with people. About a third of them seemed to be Vampires, although pretty young ones all around. Of the remaining two thirds Faith estimated about half were interested, while the other half was here to make trouble.

"Welcome brothers and sisters!" Jerome finally started speaking.

Faith tuned out his voice. She had heard it all from Doyle. Sure, Jesus had been a Vampire. Right, the Last Supper ceremony was a Vampire sharing his blood. Certainly, Jesus had risen after three days. Yada, yada, yada.

About two minutes into his speech a tomato went flying and hit him in the chest. The red stain looked remarkably like blood.

"We've heard enough of your crap!" Someone yelled from within the crowd holding the signs.

"Got your holy blood right there on your chest, buster!" A few other items of food went flying.

"Hey, let the man speak!" Someone else yelled.

Within a minute the crowd was divided into two factions facing off. The police stood close, ready to jump into the fray, yet with too little manpower to actually stop a full-blown fight if it started. Faith sighed.

"Here we go again."

"If we get arrested again you owe me." Spike grumbled.

"Why's that? As far as I remember it was you who got us arrested the last time."

"Guy had it coming."

The two of them moved closer to the gathering crowd, even as Jerome apparently tried to ease the tempers a bit.

"This is a peaceful gathering!" He told everyone. "Violence is not the answer to your questions."

"Answer this!" Another tomato went flying and Jerome evaded it easily, moving in a blur. For a moment Faith feared he would attack whoever had thrown the thing, but he didn't move from the podium. Only his eyes glared a demon amber as his face changed.

"We're not gonna stand by while you disgrace the good Lord!" Someone yelled and that, combined with the sight of Jerome's true face, was more than enough to start the fun. Suddenly people were going at each other all over the clearing. The cops tried to keep the two sides apart, but there were too few of them.

"Just great!" Spike grumbled and jumped into the crowd. Faith followed him a moment later, loosening a long string of curses as she started knocking out people left and right.

The cops managed to restore order about half an hour later, which was mostly due to the fact that a good number of people on both sides of the fight, including a lot of Vampires, had been rendered unconscious. The cops apparently didn't care about that fact and started arresting people.

"You owe me one!" Spike grumbled.

"In your dreams!" She grumbled back.

"No talking!" The officer that had arrested them shouted.

8 - Doing Hard Time

#

"That's the second time." Angel mumbled.

"Stuff it, okay?" Spike mumbled back.

"Two times in less than two weeks that I have to get you out of jail." Angel continued on, oblivious to Spike's comments. "I'm going to start not answering the phone soon."

"I wouldn't have gone to that bloody gathering if you hadn't been so worried about everything. So friggin' stuff it!"

Angel and Spike walked through the corridors of the police station. Spike, as well as the other Vampires arrested during the gathering had been put into special windowless cells in the basement of the station. The law about proper treatment of Vampire prisoners had come through very quickly after an idiot rookie cop had put a Vampire into a cell with eastward-facing windows.

The human prisoners were kept in another part of the station and they still needed to get Faith out.

"Jerome in no way got involved in the fighting?" Angel asked Spike, deciding that grumbling to his childe was useless.

"Bastard just stood there and tried to preach love and understanding. Nobody listened, though. Big surprise, eh?"

"You get a reading on him?"

"He's old, that much's for sure. Maybe older than you, Peaches. He believes what he says, too. You can see it in his eyes. Bloody fanatic."

"Doyle said the same thing. I don't like it."

Spike was tempted to say that Angel hadn't had much liking to spare ever since Buffy had checked out of the Hyperion, but as Angel seemed to be in an even worse mood these past few days, if that was even possible, Spike kept his mouth shut for once.

It was no fun needling the big poof when he was in full brood-mode.

A police officer stopped them in front of the cell tract and Angel flashed his badge. The officer checked the records and then proceeded to let them through. The police station had five cells and all of them were filled with numerous people. Spike recognized many of them from the gathering.

"LAPD got a full house tonight." He said. Angel didn't laugh. Well, okay, it hadn't been very funny.

Two of the cells were occupied by female prisoners. To be more exact one of the cells was filled to the breaking point, while the other cell just held one prisoner.

"What can I say?" Faith shrugged, doing her best to look innocent. "Nobody wants to bunk with me."

Taking in the terrified looks on the faces of the female prisoners in the adjoining cell, Spike couldn't suppress a laugh. Yes, that was his Faith all right.

The officer opened the cell and let Faith out, looking rather relieved to get her out of there and making sure to stand a good distance away from her.

Faith calmly walked by the other cell, only to suddenly whirl around to face the watching prisoners.

"Boo!" She yelled, causing everyone to jump back and press against the rear wall.

"Stop that, Faith!" Angel chided her, though Spike was sure he saw the barest shadow of a smile on his Sire's face.

"Sorry, girls!" Faith smiled at the prisoners, which probably caused more of a scare than the boo.

"Let's get out of here, luv!" Spike said, just managing to keep his voice earnest. "We got fresh babies for you to eat at home."

Apparently some of the prisoners were not a hundred percent certain he was joking and kept watching them intently until they were out the door. Faith walked out with a happy smile on her face, ignoring the dark stare Angel gave both her and Spike.

#

"William, I need to talk to you for a moment!" Angel said as they walked into the Hyperion.

Spike saw the look on Angel's face and just nodded, motioning for Faith to go up without him. Angel and Spike constantly needled each other, or to be more precise Spike was the one that did most of the needling, but that didn't change the fact that they had been best friends for over a hundred years now.

"What is it, peaches?" Spike asked. He never called Angel by his true name, Liam. Angel tended to get all depressed and guilty when someone did that.

"Buffy was here three days ago." Angel just said.

They sat down in the lobby chairs.

"She still hung up on that Vampire idea?" Spike asked, his voice serious.

"No."

"No? Well, than I'd say all is well again, right?"

"No, it isn't. She now wants to perform the Vinculum Dies Noctis Cruentos."

That managed to strike even Spike speechless for a minute. The blood bond? Buffy wanted to perform the blood bond with Angel?

"How did she learn about that?" He asked when he found his voice once more.

"I'm not sure, though I suspect Willow and Tara have a hand in this."

Spike shook his head. "No one has performed that bloody ritual in ages. I doubt there is more than a friggin' handful of people alive who even saw it done, much less actually did it."

Angel nodded.

"I know that. I tried to explain to her that ... that ..."

Spike shook his head, seeing the look in his face. "Stuff it, peaches! I know you too well for that. You didn't try to explain anything to her. You just told her to forget about it, right? Right?"

Angel nodded after a moment. Spike sighed.

"Peaches, peaches! You should know better by now. Buffy ain't no 18th century girl that will do what she's told by her big, strong hubby. She has to be the most stubborn and thickheaded person I've ever met and believe me, that says a lot coming from someone who's paired off with Faith."

"Hey!" Faith's voice came from above them.

"Will you ever stop listening in on other people's conversations?" Angel asked her, sounding more tired than actually annoyed.

"Got to bed, luv!" Spike told her. "I'll come and tuck you in soon, I promise!"

"You can sleep on the couch tonight if I hear one more comment like that!" Faith told him, shortly followed by the sound of a closing door.

"Some days I wonder why we keep her." Spike sighed.

"You can't keep your hands off her body, that's why." Angel reminded him.

"I knew there was a reason." He shook his head. "But coming back to that other hot Slayer chick in our lives, you won't get Buffy off that idea unless you tell her why you don't want to do it."

Angel looked down and rubbed his forehead, which caused Spike to sigh once more. Getting Angel to talk about his feelings was like pulling teeth, only a lot harder. Nearly three years with the Slayer had gone a long way toward cracking that stoic countenance of his, but two months of separation had caused it to snap right back into place.

"Just friggin' talk to her! It ain't that hard, you know? People do it all the time."

Spike took his friend by the shoulders and shook him gently.

"Don't lose her, okay? Don't lose her because you can't get your bloody mouth open! Find her! Talk to her! Pound some sense into her if you need to, but don't just let things die, okay? I don't want to go through another century of Brooding 101."

That actually managed to produce a smile on Angel.

"That's the spirit, mate!" Spike cheered him on. "Now you go and find that Slayer of yours! Me, I'm gonna take care of that other Slayer until she begs me to stop."

"In your dreams!" Faith called out from above.

9 - Mother Knows Best?

#

Two days ago Joyce Summers had opened the door of her house and found her daughter standing outside, drenched from the pouring rain, shivering, looking like she would collapse any moment now. Her eyes had been red and puffy, mascara streaking down her cheeks from the rain and tears. Motherly concern had blotted out everything else but that bundle of misery her daughter had become.

She had almost manhandled her daughter into the bathroom, disposed of the drenched clothing, and dried her off with a towel. Buffy hadn't spoken more than three words the whole time. Without pressing any questions Joyce had then tucked her daughter into her old bed in her old room, where she had slept for nearly twenty hours straight. Joyce had heard Buffy cry herself to sleep.

Joyce knew she would never get the prize for most insightful mother of the year. She had missed too much of her daughter's life, even though it had been right under her nose. She had never had an inkling that her daughter was a supernatural warrior, tasked with protecting the world from evil, until the day Buffy returned after having been kidnapped by a Vampire.

The same Vampire she had lived with these last three years. Even without being the most insightful mother of the year Joyce knew that, whatever worries Buffy had, it was connected with Angel. Most mothers would probably have freaked finding out their daughters were in love with a Vampire. Joyce had been well on the way towards freaking herself, butt then she had met Angel.

He was a good man, she knew that, no matter that he had actually been dead for over 250 years and a genuine cradle-robbing creature of the night for 150 of those years. He was a man who loved her daughter like nothing else in the world, who would give his life for her in a heartbeat. Joyce had come to like Angel and, after three years, regarded him as her son-in-law, no matter that legal America might disagree.

She also knew that no one but Angel would be able to get her daughter into so distraught a state. She remembered her years with her own husband well enough to know that no one could possibly hurt you like the ones you loved. She just didn't know what had happened. Oh, she knew the two had had a falling out with each other, yet she had been certain they would get over it. They loved each other too much for that.

Now she was no longer sure.

Her daughter had just told her the entire story from start to finish. How she had asked Angel to make her a Vampire because she couldn't take losing him to time. How Angel had refused her, which had led to their separation. How Willow had found out about the blood bond and how Buffy had approached Angel with that idea. How it had all ended.

The story had taken most of the evening and it was already dark outside as Buffy sat on the couch, eyes red and puffy from fresh tears, and waited for her mother to say something. Anything.

"Mom?" She asked when the silence grew too long.

"I am not sure what I should say, Buffy." Joyce admitted. "The thought of you turning yourself into a Vampire ..." Her voice trailed off.

"It wouldn't change who I am, mom." Buffy reminded her. "Ever since the Restoration every newly made Vampire has retained her soul. And I don't even want to become a Vampire anymore. I wanted to be bonded to Angel, only he wanted ... he didn't want to. Didn't want me."

More tears spilled down her cheeks and Joyce draped her arm around Buffy's shoulders, pulling her in closer.

"I don't think that is even possible, Buffy." She said. "Angel loves you like I have seldom seen anyone love another person. Didn't you say that, earlier that evening, you two almost made up? That he said he missed you?"

"Yes."

"Maybe he has another reason, Buffy. Angel would give his life to protect you, you know that. Maybe you don't know everything about this bond. Maybe he wants to protect you from something."

Buffy gave a mocking laugh.

"Protect me, right! Like he did when he knocked me unconscious so he could sacrifice his own life to close the doors to Hell. He is such a bastard that way! So ..."

"Old-fashioned?" Joyce offered. "Buffy, you have to remember that Angel is an 18th century man. I am sure he loves you, sees you as an equal, but he probably can't help these ingrained instincts of his."

"You mean treating me like a dumb girl that has to be protected from her own stupid ideas?"

"Something like that, yes!" Joyce said.

Buffy was taken a bit aback by her mother's blunt honesty.

"Buffy," Joyce continued, "I know you really want to be with him forever, but - and you're gonna hate me for saying this - you're still a child." Buffy opened her mouth to protest, but Joyce held up her hand to silence her. "Especially by Angel's standards, Buffy. He's nearly three centuries old now. He might not like to talk about it, but he knows a lot more about the ups and downs of immortality than you or I do."

"It's not about the immortality!" Buffy cut in. "It's about being with him. If he were mortal things would be fine. We'd grow old together, no problem with that. But he isn't mortal. He will stay twenty-six forever. I will grow old and die, he never will. He can't become what I am, a mortal, so I have to become what he is."

Joyce saw the desperation in her daughter's eyes, knew that she wanted this more than anything else. It scared her. Desperate people often did desperate and stupid things.

"Buffy, what do you really know about this bond thing?" Joyce asked her, hoping to steer this conversation back to a more practical line. "You read a passage about it in a book, right? Angel probably knows a lot more about it. Maybe it's very dangerous."

Buffy stood from the couch and started pacing the room.

"I don't know if it's dangerous. I don't know the ups and downs of immortality. And you know why?" She didn't wait for her mother to answer. "Because that stupid bastard won't talk to me. He just decided that it's all a stupid idea and that's it as far as he is concerned. He'd rather let me walk away than talk to me. You know how tired I am of this attitude of his?"

Joyce nodded. "I know, honey. I know how bad things get when people who love each other stop talking to each other. When they no longer understand each other. When even the little shows of affection that were so automatic at first become an effort. Soon you start wondering if it's even worth the effort and once you start wondering that it's too late."

Buffy realized what her mom was talking about. "Mom! Sorry, I didn't want to ..."

"It's okay, Buffy. It's been a long time since your father left me. I won't pretend it doesn't still hurt now and then, but I've accepted it."

Buffy looked at her mother for a long time.

"Had it been possible, would you have wanted to stay with dad forever?"

Joyce sighed. "At the beginning, yes. We were very much in love with each other. Had someone offered me eternity on a silver platter at that time I would probably have jumped for it without a single moment's hesitation. Things change, though. And most times even love doesn't last forever."

She looked up at her daughter.

"Oh, Buffy! You know I want nothing less than eternal happiness for you. You and Angel ... maybe the two of you are one of those precious few loves that really can last forever. I don't know. I'm just saying that you should be certain about it before you do anything rash, you know?"

She stood and hugged her daughter. "Talk to him, Buffy. Better yet, make him talk to you! Force him to voice the things he doesn't want to talk about, okay? Don't let him go without a fight!"

Buffy hugged her mother back. The deep well of despair she had fallen into after walking away from the Hyperion that rainy night was a dark and lonely place. She had felt like someone had torn out her heart and replaced with a block of ice. If Angel didn't love her enough to spend eternity with her, then what was left in this world?

She shook her head. Maybe her mother was right. Maybe she had behaved like a stupid school girl during this entire thing. Want to be a Vampire, so make me! Angel hadn't volunteered his thoughts about it and she had been too in love with her own idea to really ask.

She just hoped it wasn't too late to ask him.

"Thanks mom!" She said. "I will try to do just that."

"Be happy, Buffy!" Joyce said. "That's all I expect from you. Just be happy!"

Buffy nodded. "I will try that, too."

Go to Part 10