14 - On Sunday All Dead Christians Go to Church

#

Darla's little mind trick had helped her shake off the effects of the alcohol on her brain, but not on her body. Buffy had dropped into her bed dead tired, her mind whirling around the question over and over again.

Was it worth it? Was her dream to stay with Angel forever more important than his dream to become human again?

She hadn't found any answer by morning. There were a few messages on her answering machine, most of them from work. Buffy had acquired quite a reputation in the bodyguard business during these last three years and the firm she freelanced for never had any trouble finding people who wanted to hire her.

Right now Buffy didn't much care. She had enough money to be unemployed for a while and was much too distracted for that kind of work right now away. She quickly dropped a message to her firm that she wouldn't be available for the next few weeks and hung up before
her boss, or the closest thing she had to one, could bitch about it.

She didn't know what to do. At the beginning it had all seemed so easy, so reasonable. Angel, I want to be with you forever. She had never even imagined that he might not want it, too. Much less the reason why he did not want it.

It was like she had told her mother. If Angel were a mortal, if he were the human he dreamed of becoming, she wouldn't have a problem with that. They would grow old together and when the time came to depart this world she would do so gladly as long as he was by her side.

Was it possible? Could he still become human? Darla obviously didn't think so. Angel had looked for a way to make Vampires human for a century now and hadn't succeeded. How great was the chance that he would yet find a way within her life time? Before she was too old to enjoy mortal existence with a man of twenty-six.

Buffy stomped down and made a decision. She had to talk to Angel. Considering how their last two talks had gone there wasn't all that much reason to be optimistic, but it was the only way. They had to talk this out because Buffy was sure of one thing. She would take Angel every way she could get him. Living like this, without having him close, wasn't what she wanted. Wasn't what he wanted, she was certain.

One way or another they had to get back together. She was still young, everybody told her so, so maybe they could spend some years, maybe a decade or two, trying to make Angel's dream reality. And if that didn't work maybe then ...

Stop with the speculation, Buffy! She told herself. Talk to Angel, that was step one. That was what she had to do now. Holding on to that resolution she grabbed her coat and went out of her apartment.

#

"It's the stupidest thing he ever did and that is saying a lot, believe me!" Spike's voice bellowed through the lobby of the Hyperion as Buffy came in.

"Angel knows what he's doing!" Faith shot back, though not nearly as loud.

"Sure he does!" Spike threw his arms up in frustration. "That's why he ... oh, Buffy!"

Faith and Spike both looked at her now, as well as Gunn, Doyle, and Wesley. Buffy was a bit surprised to see the former Watcher here, as he had been out of town for quite some time now.

"That's why Angel what?" Buffy asked. "What's up, guys?"

Everyone stared at her for a long moment, then Doyle made a step forward, awkwardly brushing his hair with his fingers.

"Princess, Angel met with Geoffrey Jerome."

The name didn't click with Buffy for a moment, but then she remembered her visit to the Church of the Holy Blood. Jerome had been the speaker, the leader of the church. He had made the promise of eternal life to her - and all the others present - and she had been tempted. Very much so. If she hadn't found the information on the blood bond, if she hadn't talked with Willow, Angel, Darla, ...

"What do you mean, met with him?" Buffy asked. "I thought Angel was anything but fond of the church."

"He's gonna speak for them." Spike snarled. "The bloody poof will speak for the church at their next big gathering."

Disbelief spread through Buffy. Angel would speak for the church? After lecturing her about the virtues of mortal existence he would now speak for those who gave immortality away like candy?

"I don't believe this." She whispered.

"Now don't get your mind in an uproar, pet!" Spike said. "Peaches isn't converting, no sir. The poof wants to go up there and hold a speech that will knock some sense back into all these idiots that want to join the immortal monk club."

"If he succeeds it will mean the end of the church." Wesley said.

"Or he could get torn apart by a mob." Spike shot back. "This Jerome fellow is completely nuts and from all I've seen he handles his crowd like a puppeteer. He'll blow his whole fuse box when Peaches does his stuff. Gee, our messiah has turned out to be a bloody blasphemer,
let's crucify him, shall we?"

Buffy remembered the way Jerome's voice had spoken to her, made her feel as if she had been the only one in the room, all the others not even there, all his attention focused on her. Natural charisma or Vampire mind tricks? It didn't make much of a difference, really.

"Angel can handle it!" Faith said again. Buffy knew how much respect and confidence her sister Slayer held for Angel. Without wanting to she remembered a time not three years ago when Faith had tried to take Angel away from her by force. A small part of Buffy was still
irked that Faith had beaten her in the only real fight the two had ever gotten in.

"Maybe he can." Buffy said. "Or maybe he is, as always, completely blind to any personal danger he may be putting himself in."

"When they dished out common sense Peaches wasn't there, that's for sure." Spike muttered.

"Where is he?" Buffy asked.

"He left about an hour ago." Doyle said. "This church gathering is tonight. It seems Jerome started organizing it even before Angel said he would make an appearance. Pretty confident fellow."

"Whatever else he is, he is dangerous." Wesley said. "I have found out some more details about this Jerome fellow. He is almost 300 years old. A puritan from a family of religious immigrants. It appears he was raised with religion from day one."

Wesley looked into the file he carried with him.

"He was turned in 1711 and became the colonies' very own Angelus, it seems, though he never attained quite as much notoriety. Most of the murders he committed were religious in nature. He killed priests, monks, nuns, church boys, whatever. It appears his demon held a deep grudge against all things Christian, probably carried over from his deep-held convictions when he was human.

"After the Restoration there are but a few scattered reports. It seems Jerome spent many decades in seclusion. Maybe trying to do penance for his deeds, trying to find God again, I don't know. The first reports of him in public again are from but a few years ago. Pretty much when Vampires' went public and started rallying for civil rights."

Buffy listened to Wesley's report, but inside she wanted nothing more than to run to that church and drag Angel away from there. She remembered Grigori, who had tried to sacrifice Angel to his quest of getting rid of his soul. Remembered how Angel had played at being
back to his old evil self, only to then stab Grigori in the back. Angel had almost died that day. This seemed like a terrible repeat of history.

"We must go to that church!" Buffy said.

"Angel wanted to do this alone." Faith said.

"I don't give a damn what he wants!" Buffy yelled at her sister Slayer, her anger bubbling forth. "I will not stand by while he fucking gets himself killed again."

Faith was taken aback by the raw fury in Buffy's eyes.

"We don't even know if he's in any danger." Doyle said, trying to soothe the tempers. "Odds are he will do his speech and people will listen to him. Angel can be quite persuasive himself."

"If that happens, fine and dandy." Spike said. "But Slayer here is right. If it doesn't happen that way we'd better be there to kick Jerome's puritan ass all the way back to Pilgrims' Landing."

Without waiting for the others to decide Buffy and Spike walked out the lobby side by side. Faith looked after them for a moment, snorted, then hurried to catch up with them. She muttered "Angel'll be pissed." under her breath.

Doyle and Wesley looked at each other for a moment, then realized that Gunn was already gone as well. The young black man hadn't said anything the entire time, yet none of them doubted he was also on his way to the church gathering, probably with some of his people in tow.

"It seems the decision has been taken from our hands." Wesley remarked.

"I guess one of us should tell Darla that her boy is getting into trouble again." Doyle said. "I mean, if everyone else already knows and is on the way ..."

"Quite, yes." Wesley agreed. "I think I will call Mr. Giles. I have no doubt he will be able to inform her much better than we could."

The two men shared a short smile, then Wesley headed into the direction of the phone while Doyle tried to catch up with the determined stride of two Slayers and a Vampire.
 

15 - Life, Death, Green Hills, and Blue Skies

#
 

Angel slowly walked up the podium and looked at the assembled crowd standing before him. There had to be over a thousand people altogether out there, all eyes on him and waiting for what he had to say. Angel saw the reverence in their eyes and it sickened him.

Jerome had delivered. Much more than that, he had excelled. Only a day had passed since Angel had agreed to speak for the church and Jerome had organized a gathering that not only included just about every member of the Church of the Holy Blood, but several hundred that were interested in joining and, Angel saw, a few who were very opposed to everything the church represented.

The rumor that Angelus, the Vampire who had worked the Restoration, would appear at the gathering had attracted quite the media attention. Angel could see cameras and reporters from at least three different TV stations and half a dozen newspapers. They all would watch and listen to what he had to say.

He just hoped he didn't blow it.

"Thank you for coming, brothers and sisters." Jerome said as introduction, his charismatic voice ringing out, full of warmth and compassion. "We are very honored to have here with us tonight the man who is savior to us all. The man who restored our souls to us a hundred years ago. Angelus!"

A cheer went up from the crowd and Angel could feel the allure of power around him. All these people, Vampires and humans, would listen to his words. Many of them would believe whatever he told them, just because of something he had done nearly a century ago. This kind of power was intoxicating and could very well have tempted even the most righteous man.

Angel never wavered.

For a long moment he just stood and let his eyes travel across the assembled crowd. Vampires and humans, the latter being the vast majority. The Vampires were mostly young ones, made after the Restoration. It was easy to spot them. There was no trace of the darkness of guilt that the older ones always carried in their eyes.

"Thank you all for coming here." Angel said finally, his voice ringing out even and strong. "I was asked to speak here tonight on behalf of the Church of the Holy Blood. I know that many of those present here tonight are interested in joining this church. Some of you because you believe in their message. Others just because you want the gift they are offering you. The gift of eternal life."

Angel closed his eyes for a moment, listening to the platter of the rain on top of the canopy that protected the speaker's podium. Nothing else could be heard, a thick silence hung over of the crowd.

"Allow me to tell you something about this gift many of you are so eager to receive. Let me tell you what it means to be a Vampire and live forever."

A side glance showed him Jerome, who was looking out at the crowd with an air of supreme confidence. Close to him stood several other Vampires. A few of those were looking at Angel, some of them with the barest hint of suspicion in their eyes after the somber tone of his opening words. None of them made a move to interrupt him, though.

"More than a hundred years ago one of my childer and I suddenly found ourselves in a unique situation. Unique for the Vampires of that time. We were the only ones in possession of our souls. Gypsy elders of a tribe we had ravaged but days earlier had cursed us as punishment for our crimes. They cursed us with the return of our souls, our humanity, and our conscience.

"And what a curse it was. A 150 years of bloody slaughter caught up with me in a heartbeat. I saw the faces of all the people I had killed during these long, dark years. I felt the pain they must have felt when I tortured and killed them. The Gypsies had indeed found the perfect way to punish us for all the crimes we had committed.

"But then we realized the truth of our situation. We realized that what we thought to be a curse was actually a blessing in disguise. No matter the pain, no matter the torture, it was still a blessing. A gift. Our humanity was returned to us, something that had been extinguished so many years ago. And so we set about making things right in the world once more."

"To return our souls to us!" Someone in the crowd shouted.

"No!" Angel shook his head. "That was never my intention."

In the shocked silence that followed these words the sound of the raindrops rang out like falling bombs. Angel looked at all the eyes staring at him in shock.

"We did work the Restoration of Souls," Angel continued, "but only because were unsuccessful in our original endeavor. We did not want to create a race of ensouled Vampires, my childe and I. We wanted to destroy all Vampires and make them human once more."

A ripple of shock spread through the crowd, sounds of disbelief rang out.

"You, all of you," Angel raised his voice the first time, "that you want to become Vampires, you have no idea at all. These people," Angel gestured towards Jerome and his inner circle, "are telling you that it is something to strive for. That being a Vampire is a blessing, a way to be closer to God."

Angel reached into the bag he had carried with him and took out a large, golden cross. He raised it above his head, his hand starting to smoke where it touched the blessed symbol.

"This is the truth!" He said, even as his hand burst into flames. "This is how close we are to God. His very symbol repulses us. The light of day burns us. We must feed on the lives of others to survive while hiding in the dead of night."

He finally dropped the cross and the flames on his hand went out again, the skin blackened. Angel did not feel the pain.

"Everything this so-called Church has been telling you is a lie. Vampires have nothing to do with God, quite the opposite. We weren't cursed because we didn't understand the gift Jesus gave his apostles at the Last Supper. The oldest Vampires are far older than that. It is not a gift, it is a curse. A legacy of evil that reaches back to the very dawn of time and we carry it with us every day of our immortal lives."

Jerome and his people were staring at him, all of them too much in shock to do anything else. Jerome's air of confidence had fallen away to make way for complete disbelief. Was this not his savior? The man who had saved his race? Who would lead the way into the light? What was going on here?

"This evil we carry inside us has been tamed by the return of our souls," Angel said, "tamed to the point where we can once again lead something very close to a human existence, but it has not gone away. Our souls are human, our thoughts are human, but the thing inside of us, that which keeps us alive over the centuries, is not.

"Those of you who have never known what it was like to be without a soul, you don't know a thing about what it means to be a Vampire. You don't know the hunger we older ones feel inside ourselves every day, the constant battle to control this hunger. The hunger for human blood, the urge to sink our fangs into the soft flesh of human men, women, and children and watch as the light in their eyes goes out. Not because we need their blood to survive, but because we want to do it."

Angel sighed deeply.

"I returned the souls to the Vampires because I wanted to put a stop to that, to the killings. That was the only reason I had. I have not given up hope that, one day, we might fully regain our humanity. All that we have lost to the evil inside of us. That we might one day truly walk in the light again without the fear of being burned."

The crowd still watched him, all of them hanging on his every word. Angel was not finished and everyone seemed to know that. No one was able to turn away until he let them go.

"You want to know what it means to become a Vampire?" He asked them all. "It means losing something. Something you will not miss until it is gone forever. I have a dream almost every night. Always the same dream for coming up to 250 years now.

"I walk across the meadows near my home. At home, you know, the grass plains seem to stretch on forever, just an endless ocean of green, where the wind creates tides and waves, beautiful patterns and pictures, whispering sweet melodies between the grass blades.

"The grass tickles my bare feet. It is day and the sun shines on my skin, it warms me and chases away the cold of night. The sunlight is so bright, so very bright. I have to squint because of the brightness of the day.

"And the sky ... the sky is a perfect azure blue, a sky so blue that no other color seems to exist. I can see for miles all around and beneath that bottomless blue of the sky the endless grass plains are a rich, sated green, not the black and gray you see at night. There is nothing but infinite blue sky and endless green grass."

Angel looked down, the sadness in his eyes so deep that no one in the crowd could possibly miss it.

"I was one of the most powerful men that ever lived. A demon who was feared by thousands, every life that I wanted was mine for the taking and I never felt the slightest pang of remorse or pain. Even then, though, that was all I really wanted. Walk out into the sunlight and feel the grass beneath my toes."

He looked up again.

"Each of you must decide for yourself whether immortality is worth losing all that. Just don't expect it to be for free, for it is not. Not nearly. And don't expect it to bring you closer to God." He looked at the discarded cross on the ground, at his own blackened hand. "God wants no part of us. I understand why."

Thousands of people stared at him, the rain pouring down on them.

"Go home, all of you!" He told them. "Think about what I have told you. Think about whether you truly want to give up your humanity because of some lies and an eternal existence in the shadows, forever removed from the grace of God, if there is such a thing. Go home!"

For a minute or so everyone kept staring at him, the whole world seemed frozen except for the perpetual fall of the raindrops. Then a young woman in the front of the crowd turned around and started walking away. She was soon joined by another, who threw the leaflet of the church into the mud as he left. Others turned around as well and started walking away. Going home.

Angel sighed in relief.

"No!" Jerome's voice suddenly rang out across the crowd. The leader of the Church of the Holy Blood snapped out of his shock and screamed after the leaving people, every trace of warmth and compassion gone from his voice.

"Don't listen to this charlatan! He is deceiving you! Ours is the way into the light, you have to listen to me!"

No one did. A few turned around when Jerome screamed, but after looking at his frantic face for a moment they continued walking away, his words falling on deaf ears.

"You can't do this!" He screamed after them.

Angel watched the sad display for a moment, shaking his head.

"It's over, Jerome." He just said.

Jerome's head snapped around, his eyes glaring at Angel with the devil's own fury.

"You did this!" He snarled. "You, the demon spawn. Sent here to ruin my work, to deceive my children. I will not allow you to damn us all to eternal darkness!"

With a howl that sounded anything but human Jerome threw himself at Angel.
 

16 - And I Shall Strike Down Upon Thee ...

#
 

Spike, Buffy, and Faith had remained at the edge of the crowd, arriving shortly before Angel began his speech. Spike had been keeping an eye on Jerome and his people, looking for any sign that they might get antsy. Faith had quickly gotten bored, still convinced that Angel could handle everything, and spent her time being miserable about being dragged out here in the rain.

Buffy just stared and listened to Angel's speech.

She was so entranced that she froze for a full two seconds when Jerome jumped Angel.

"Get your butt in gear, B!" Faith yelled at her, she and Spike already halfway toward the podium. Buffy shook her head and started running as well, muddy water splashing with every step she took.

On the podium the two Vampires collided. Angel had suspected that Jerome might do something like this, though he had hoped it wouldn't come to that. The sheer ferocity of the other Vampire's attack did surprise him for a second, but then all thoughts save those of combat fled from his mind and the demon rose to the occasion.

Jerome tore into Angel like an animal, but his attack was all anger and fury, no technique or finesse. Angel stumbled back from his initial onslaught, but the follow-up blows hit nothing but his cover. The other Vampire's eyes blazed, nothing human remaining in them, snarling obscenities between blows.

Angel didn't remain on the defensive for long. Jerome left himself wide open and Angel took advantage, throwing a thundering spin kick that caused the other Vampire's head to snap back. A human would have been killed by the blow. Jerome was but taken aback for a moment.

"Blasphemer!" He snarled. "I will send you to meet your maker in Hell!"

Angel didn't plan to answer and Jerome left him no opportunity, attacking again. Ducking his blows, Angel delivered two jabs to Jerome's ribs, then drove his stiff fingers into his opponent's throat. Gagging, Jerome stumbled back. Angel followed up with another kick that sent him flying halfway across the podium.

"Stop this madness, Jerome!" Angel said while Jerome struggled to his feet.

"I will!" Jerome said and lunged again.

Angel was ready to meet him again, but someone else was faster. A booted foot was driven into Jerome's face, while at the same time a snarling bleached Vampire threw a punch that would have gone right through a human's gut. A blonde blur appeared on the podium and delivered a final kick that sent Jerome flying once again, even as Angel found himself surrounded by friends.

"Keep your dirty hands off my mate, you wanker!" Spike snarled.

"I still say he didn't need our help." Faith said, keeping a wary eye on the Vampire in front of her.

Buffy said nothing, just glared at Jerome, making Angel wonder if looks really could kill. The leader of the Church of the Holy Blood was on his knees, unneeded breath rattling in dead lungs, and stared at the people standing between him and the object of his wrath.

"And those who stand with evil shall be judged." He said, every word accompanied by a rattling that showed lung damage. Jerome didn't feel it. He didn't care.

"Stop this Jerome!" Angel said once again. "You can't win."

More people had arrived. About a dozen of Gunn's youths were there, surrounding the podium. Doyle stood with Gunn, drenched by the rain, but looking ready to mix it up as well. All of them stared at Jerome, daring him to try something.

Madness blazing in his eyes Jerome turned towards the other members of the church's inner circle, who stood at the far end of the podium. There were seven of them, all of them strong. Enough to help him defeat these sinners. God's children would triumph yet.

"Help me, brothers!" He ordered them. "Strike down these enemies of the Lord!"

For a moment no one moved or said anything. Then James Reuben shrugged, discarded the black and crimson robe of the church, and walked down from the podium. Gunn's people let him pass with a wary glance, stakes held at the ready.

"James!" Jerome yelled, outraged.

"Sorry, old man!" Reuben said. "But I didn't sign up for the crusades, you know?"

Jerome was still staring after Reuben's retreating form, his face once again frozen in disbelief, when Kurt Jugens also took off his robe and walked away as well.

"Kurt?" Jerome asked, no longer yelling or demanding.

"It was a fun score while it lasted, Geoffrey." Jugens just said. "Don't take it personally!"

One by one the members of Jerome's inner circle discarded their robes, unceremoniously dumping them into the mud, and walked away. None of the remaining five even saw the need to say something to Jerome, they just took off. Most of the crowd of onlookers had dispersed as well, just a few curious souls remained behind to watch the drama unfolding on the podium, though from a safe distance.

Jerome was alone, surrounded by Angel's friends and allies.

"It's over!" Angel said, slowly walking closer to Jerome's kneeling form.

"It's not possible." Jerome whispered to himself. "We are God's chosen people. We can't fail."

Angel stood directly behind him now, but Jerome didn't seem to notice him. A large puddle of rain water had collected directly in front of the podium and Jerome stared down. There was no reflection there. Nothing.

"Has He deserted me?" Jerome asked, his voice drowned out by the raindrops. He stared into the puddle, suddenly finding it incredibly important to find his reflection in the muddy depths of the puddle.

It was nowhere to be found.

"Let us help you, Jerome!" Angel said, gently putting a hand on the other Vampire's shoulder. "Together we can ..."

"No!" Jerome screamed, shrugging off Angel's hand and surging to his feet. Buffy and the others tensed, but Jerome made no move to attack Angel. He looked around himself like a cornered animal, enemies everywhere, panting hard, bloody sweat staining his forehead.

"Jerome!" Angel said, trying to get through to him.

Jerome's eyes fell on the golden cross Angel had dropped earlier. He jumped toward it, even as the demon inside him recoiled at the sight. His fingers closed around the metal hilt and held on tight, even as his skin began to sizzle.

"You can't desert me!" Jerome screamed, clutching the cross to his chest.

"Let go of the cross!" Angel yelled, trying to get closer, yet Jerome jumped to his feet and darted out of his reach.

"You will see!" Jerome screamed as his hands burst into flames. "I am God's chosen, he will not strike down upon me!" The flames climbed up his arms even as he jumped from the podium and ran out into the rain, Gunn's people flinching back from the fiery figure.

"Stop him!" Angel yelled, jumping after Jerome, the others just a few steps behind him.

The flames engulfed Jerome from head to toe now, but still he kept on running, still he held on to the cross that was killing him. He screamed something, but the flames devoured his words even as they devoured his flesh. Angel caught up with him, but it was too late.

With an animal scream Jerome crumbled to the ground, a bundle of burning flesh. The cross inside was untouched, gleaming golden in the light of the flames, and Angel had to avert his eyes.

A moment later it was over. The golden cross rested in the mud, raindrops falling down on it, quickly washing away the ashes.

"Angel?" Buffy asked as she arrived at his side. "Are you all right?"

Angel just nodded, his eyes staring at the ground just inches from the cross, where the last vestiges of Geoffrey Jerome were washed away by the rain.

"Guess now he knows whether God wants him or not." Spike said, sounding uncharacteristically somber for a change.

"Angel?" Buffy asked, softly placing her hand on Angel's shoulder.

He stared down at the mud for another minute, then shook his head and turned away.

"Let's get out of here!" He just said. "I want to get out of the rain."

Surrounded by his friends and loved ones, Angel managed half a smile and took Buffy's hand in his. "Let's go home!"

Everyone nodded and started turning away. Buffy stopped, though, when she saw Gunn reach for the golden cross that still lay in the mud. She was about to say something, but the dark-skinned youth just planted the cross upright in the ground and left it like that, joining the rest of his people beside Angel's group.

Angel gave him a thankful nod and they started walking away.

At the horizon the dark rain clouds slowly started breaking up, revealing the starry night sky.
 

17 - Just Before Dawn

#

Buffy found Angel sitting on the roof of the Hyperion Hotel, looking at the quickly brightening sky in the east. Sunrise was just ten minutes away and Buffy knew that Angel would sit here and watch until the very last second, only then would he take cover.

<It is day and the sun shines on my skin, it warms me and chases away the cold of night. The sunlight is so bright, so very bright. I have to squint because of the brightness of the day.>

She suddenly felt a great sadness, seeing how he tried to catch a glimpse of something he could never again behold without it killing him.

"How are you doing?" She asked, sitting down beside him, looking east.

"I'm thinking." Angel said, half a smile spreading on his face. "Or maybe brooding, as Cordy or Faith would call it."

"About Jerome?" Buffy asked. "Please don't blame yourself for what has happened to him!"

"I don't." Angel said softly. "I'm just ... he wasn't a bad man, Buffy. He was just desperate. Desperate to regain the favor of the God he had lost. Desperate to make some sense of this curse he had been burdened with. I can understand him. You don't know how many times I tried to find some hidden meaning or purpose in the darkness, something good to balance all the evil in my life."

He shook his head. "Jerome never found it."

"And you?" Buffy asked him.

For the first time he turned to look at her and the sparkle in his chocolate brown eyes, the first hints of dawn reflecting in them, took her breath away.

"I've thought long and hard about that." He said. "I'm not sure whether I believe in things like destiny, or a higher purpose. I know  just one thing."

He reached out with his hand to softly caress her cheek.

"If not for the demon I would never have met you. I would have died 200 years before you were even conceived. That alone does a lot to balance things."

Buffy smiled.

"Angel, ... I couldn't help but hear your speech, the things you said to those people. Your dream."
 
<And the sky ... the sky is a perfect azure blue, a sky so blue that no other color seems to exist. I can see for miles all around and beneath that bottomless blue of the sky the endless grass plains are a rich, sated green, not the black and gray you see at night. There is nothing but infinite blue sky and endless green grass.>

She took his hand in hers and felt a lone tear trail down her cheek.

"I'm so sorry I tried to take that from you, Angel." She said. "I was only thinking of myself, what I wanted. I should have realized what was going through your head."

She sniffed back the other tears that were threatening to spill free from her eyes.

"I just wanted to tell you that I want to be with you, Angel. Mortal, immortal, or anything in between. I don't care as long as we're together. Forget about Vampires, blood bonds, or churches, okay? I just want to be with you. And maybe ... maybe we can still find a way to ... you know? Make you mortal?"

Angel smiled, a full and honest smile, not the half smile he usually did. Buffy felt like the sun had already risen when he looked at her like that.

"Buffy, I was thinking about a lot of things when I made that speech, too. About the talks we had on this topic, all the reasons we came up with for and against it. I realized something while I was talking up there. You see, when I told all these people about my dream, I didn't tell them everything."

He took her face between his hands and drew her in closer.

"For two and a half centuries I stood in that meadow, Buffy, the grass under my toes, the blue sky above me, but I was always alone. These last three years, though, ever since I met you, you were there with me. We stood there together and it made one thing perfectly clear to me.

"All the green hills and blue skies in the world don't mean a thing to me if you're not there with me."

She looked at him in wonder.

"Angel? What are you saying?"

He looked down, his hands dropping from her face.

"There is another thing I haven't told you, Buffy. These last hundred years that I spent looking for a way to make Vampires human again ... I did find a way."

Buffy was speechless for a long moment.

"What?"

"A way to make Vampires human again. I found it twenty years ago. I was so ecstatic that day. I thought I had found the answer to all my dreams. That I would be able to walk in the sunlight again."

He shook his head.

"I never will. The ritual would indeed exorcise the demons from our bodies, but without the demons' presence time would catch up with us. We are dead, Buffy, all of us. It's only the demon that keeps us alive. To become human again means our death."

He looked at her again.

"I don't want to die. I have too much to live for. I don't know, maybe there is another way to become human, really become human, but I am at long last weary of looking for it. These last three years have been the happiest of my life, Buffy. Being with you, in the night, it means much more than that old dream of daylight I've been clinging to these last 250 years."

"Angel?" She asked him, trying to wrap her minds around what he told her.

"I'm saying that you were right, Buffy. I don't care what 1000-year-old Angel will think, or whether 10,000-year-old Angel will be happy with my decision. Like you said, I want to be with you, no matter how. And if I never see the green hills of home in the sunlight again, it's a price I'm willing to pay if only I can be with you. Forever."

Buffy was speechless once again. Angel looked toward the east, where the sky was beginning to glow from the rays of the approaching sun. Another minute or so.

"I'm asking you to be with me forever, beloved." He said, taking her hand in his even as he dropped down on one knee. "I can never marry you the way one human would marry another, I can never take you to a church and have our union blessed by God. What I can give you, though, is myself. All of me, bonded to you. If you still want it."

Buffy slid down from where she had been sitting to kneel with him, clutching his hand with both of hers.

"Angel, are you really sure?" She asked him. "I ... I don't want to give up everything you've ever dreamed about."

"You are all I ever dreamed about, beloved." He said without hesitation. "You are the green hills of home that I've looked for so long. You are my blue sky, my blazing fire in the dark of night. My sunshine, the warmth on my skin that chases the cold away. I see the sun rise every time I look into your eyes. I won't give up anything. I will gain the world."

Tears now flowed freely from Buffy's eyes as she clutched Angel's hand, never to let go again. A smile spread on her face and the first ray of dawn fell on it, illuminating her features, making her eyes sparkle.

"I want you, Angel!" She said, tears glittering in the light. "I want you forever."

With that they fled from the dawn.
 

18 - With This Blood I Thee Wed

#

Six weeks later:

"I still think they're loony!" Faith whispered to Spike.

"Shut up and watch, luv!" Spike whispered back.

Buffy and Angel knelt in the center of a mystic circle, looking at each other like they were the only thing in the world. Angel was dressed in nothing but a pair of black pants, his bare chest gleaming like marble in the candlelight. Buffy, in turn, wore but a black skirt that fell to her knees and a black top, leaving her shoulders and neck bare to the gaze of her lover.

Four people kneeled on the outside of the circle, each marking a point of the compass. Darla knelt in the north, directly behind Buffy. Joyce Summers mirrored her on the other side, kneeling behind Angel. Willow and Tara knelt east and west of the circle, magic humming in the air between them.

The presence of Darla and Joyce was purely symbolic. Once they had managed to unearth the ancient ritual of the Vinculum Dies Noctis Cruentos, both Buffy and Angel had decided to add some other things to it. Buffy called it modernizing, having spared some not so kind words about dusty traditions and the likes. Angel had just smiled and gone along.

The two witches supplied the magic that would flow into the bond. The original ritual called for two Vampires to sit in their places, both of whom had to be strong in the mystical arts. Instead they each had a Vampire standing behind them, hands on their shoulders, adding their undead presence to the ritual.

The rest of the Hyperion's large ball room was filled with hundreds of candles, dipping the entire gathering into their soft light. Only their closest friends and family members were present. Giles stood behind Darla, flanked by Wesley and Doyle. Buffy had invited her best friend Xander and his girlfriend Anya, who stood behind Joyce. Spike and Faith stood off to one side, behind Willow, while the space behind Tara was filled by Cordelia and Gunn.

"Dies!" Tara whispered, dipping her fingers into a bowl of blood that stood in the center of the circle. The blood was Angel and Buffy's, mixed together into one. Tara used the blood to draw a rune on Buffy's chest.

"Noctis!" Willow whispered, drawing a different rune on Angel's pale chest. Neither Buffy nor Angel ever took their eyes away from each other.

The magic inside the circle grew thick enough to cut it with a knife. The potent brew of Slayer and Vampire blood stirring the power between the two people kneeling in front of each other. The line of the circle began shimmering in a dark red as more power gathered around them.

Willow and Tara murmured the incantations of the ritual, even as Angel reached out a hand to touch the rune on Buffy's chest.

"My eyes in the daylight." He whispered.

Buffy mirrored him, touching the rune on his chest with her fingers.

"My eyes in the nighttime." She whispered

"Through you I walk in the sun." Angel said, slowly drawing her closer.

"Through you I prowl with the moon." Buffy said, arching her head to one side.

"Vinculum Dies Noctis Cruentos!" Willow and Tara whispered, the blood in the bowl stirring as if moved by wind. The circle's glow intensified.

Darla now leaned forward, a tip of her own blood on her finger. She touched the back of Buffy's neck, the blood almost sizzling as it made contact with the Slayer's boiling skin.

"The family of Aurelius welcomes you," Darla whispered, "blood of our blood, though living, yet one of us."

This part was taken from the ritual of accepting a new member into an established Vampire Order. Darla's blood, as Master of Aurelius, marked Buffy as a member of her family.

Joyce Summers leaned forward and touched Angel's neck, feeling a little weird doing this, but taken in by the power of the ceremony.

"The family of Summers welcomes you," she whispered, "blood of our blood, though undead, yet one of us."

Buffy smiled hearing her mother utter the words, only slightly modified from the original rite. At first her mother had protested this part, using an ancient Vampire ritual to accept Angel as her son-in-law, but after much pleading and pouting on her daughter's part she had agreed. The only thing she would not do was prick her finger and smear her blood on Angel's neck. There were limits, she had said.

"Will you be my companion in the day?" Angel asked as he and Buffy were almost face to face. "Will you share the night with me until the stars themselves go out? Will you embrace my blood to make us one for all time?"

"Yes!" Buffy whispered and guided his head toward the bend of her neck. Angel slipped into his demon face and buried his fangs into Buffy's warm flesh. It was the exact same spot where she had forced him to drink from here two and a half years ago, to save his life. The scar from back then had faded with time. This mark, though, would never fade.

The air around them shimmered with magic as Angel drank at Buffy's neck, her heartbeat lying on his tongue, her warmth flooding into his body. Buffy gasped with the feel of his fangs inside her, her arms keeping him close to her.

Angel let go, having drunk but the barest tidbit, yet he felt more powerful and refreshed than ever before. Her life, her fire, it thundered through his veins, made his skin glow, chased the cold of the grave from his bones.

"Vinculum Dies Noctis Cruentos!" Willow and Tara whispered again, stirring the magic once more.

"Will you be my companion in the night?" Buffy asked once she had regained her breath. "Will you share the night with me until the stars themselves go out? Will you embrace my warmth to make us one for all time?"

"Yes!" Angel whispered and sliced across his own neck with a sharp fingernail, drawing blood. Buffy leaned forward, her small mouth fastening on his skin, and drank his blood where it welled forth from his body.

Angel's blood worked its magic as the world around Buffy seemed to change. She could see the blood pumping through the bodies of the two witches. She could hear the pulsing beat of a dozen living hearts here in this room. The smells, so unique to each of them. Willow, Tara, Joyce, Giles, Wesley, Doyle, Xander, Anya, Cordelia, Gunn, Faith, each of their scents as different as their faces. The cool aroma of death, new senses expanding to the feel of family blood. Darla, Spike, the two nameless Vampires behind Willow and Tara, all were family now.

Buffy pulled her head away from Angel's neck, droplets of blood on her lips. Their eyes locked, magic sparkling between them.

"Vinculum Dies Noctis Cruentos!" The whisper went out once more.

Their lips met in a bruising kiss, his blood on her lips, her blood on his lips, so much power between them.

A shudder went through both their bodies at the same time, the marks on their necks throbbing like beating hearts. The remaining blood in the bowl burst into crimson flame, fire leaping out to touch their skin, but not burning them. The runes on their chests flared and then vanished, burnt into their flesh without visible trace, but there nonetheless.

Their fingers interlaced as the power thundered between them, through them. Goosebumps broke out on every living human present, while the Vampires could feel their blood boil as the joining was completed.

Buffy and Angel sagged against each other as the circle around them flared one final time, then fell silent. They touched foreheads, looking into each other's eyes. Buffy saw her mirror image reflected in those dark orbs in front of her. Angel saw nothing in her eyes, but suddenly he could feel her heartbeat on his tongue again and saw himself. Saw himself as his mate saw him, through her wonderful eyes.

"You are my daylight." He whispered to her.

"You are my moonlight." She whispered back, then their lips met in another kiss.

Silence reigned in the room for a minute as the newly joined lovers kissed, only to be broken by an impatient voice.

"Okay, bonding's over." Faith said. "Let's eat!"

Buffy and Angel laughed.
 

#
 

Epilogue: One month later.
 

"Are you sure?" Buffy asked Angel as she climbed out of their rented van. Angel remained sitting in the dark interior, smiling at her.

"I will be perfectly safe in here," he reassured her, "now go on or we'll miss it!"

She nodded and slid the van's door shut. They had parked it by the side of the gravel road they had driven on to reach this secluded spot and Buffy now climbed up the steep hill on the side of it. To the east the darkness was slowly giving way to the approaching dawn.

Reaching the top of the hill Buffy removed her hiking boots and socks, wriggling her toes into the thaw-sprinkled grass with a sigh.

She then turned east where colors were creeping over the horizon faster and faster now, shadows fleeing from the approaching dawn like animals in flight from the predator. The dark hilltops around her shed their gray coat of night as the colors returned.

The first ray of dawn touched Buffy's face, touched the hilltops. The sun slowly rose over the horizon, coloring the ground in a rich, sated green, even as the soft wind played across the ocean of grass blades, a billion droplets of thaw sprinkling in the light of the new dawn.

The sky brightened, the black vanishing to be replaced by a perfect azure blue. There was not a cloud in sight and Buffy's eyes drank in the deep colors around her as morning came to the hills and meadows of Galway, Ireland.

Through the eyes of his lover Angel saw the green hills and blue skies, weeping in joy.

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