You Made Me Breathless

by Rachel

Disclaimer: Do I own them? Nope. See, my name is RACHEL, NOT Joss. None of these characters belong to me. I'm not making money off them, blah, blah, blah. Do you really think I would put B/A thru all of this and have Buffy sleeping with Riley? YUK!
Rating:  Do you watch the show?? You can read this. Maybe PG-13ish
Summary: You know the deal…it's all been done before (times 100). (Say it with me now!) An alternate ending to "I Will Remember You"
Spoilers: "I Will Remember You"
Distribution: My site, Angel Forevermore, the groups I send them to and if everyone else can just tell me where it's going first. I'll probably say yes!
Feedback? <G> Does Angel look hott wearing leather pants? (All together now, Nod your head "YES!")


It was 8:56 AM before Angel arrived back at his apartment. He had arrived to give Buffy the bad news. To tell her that they could no longer be together- it just wasn't meant to be. As he trudged down the stairs, he heard Buffy pacing back and forth, already worried about him. Both she and Angel knew that he shouldn't be up in the condition he was in.

Angel slowly walked down the steps, staring at his beloved in a long, red and flowery dress. She stared up at him expectantly. And suddenly, looking at her, he lost the strength to breath- to tell her the truth of everything he had planned. The looks in her eyes- full of love, trust, and worry for her lover. How would he live with this? *Could* he live with this?

Buffy looked up at him, beginning to speak. "I'm guessing that expression isn't because they were all out of fresh OJ at the deli." She stared at Angel and stopped speaking for a second to hear him reply. When she got none, she asked, "what happened?"

Angel looked at her before speaking. "Nothing happened. I just..." and his voice died off. <God, I can't do this. I can't tell her what I've done.> he thought.

Buffy tilted her head and stared at him. "Where have you been?"

Angel finally realized that he couldn't get away with not telling her. She had a right to know. "I went to see the Oracles." He lowered his eyes, knowing that he couldn't look at her as he spoke. "I asked them to turn me back."

Buffy inhaled sharply. Had she heard right? Angel wanted to do what?! "What? - Why?"

Angel knew the reason immediately. "Because more then ever I know how much I love you." And it was true. If the reason for his living would be her eventual death, he would rather be a shadow in the darkness forever and able to watch her live, than to watch her die.

Buffy backed away from him in denial. <No, no…this can't be happening. Angel is *not* doing this for my own good. He's *not* pulling this on me right now.> "No.  No, you didn't."

Angel followed her into the kitchen, talking to her the whole time. "And if I stayed mortal one of us would wind up dead, maybe both of us.." He pointed out to her, inwardly longing to hold her. "You heard what Mohra said."

Buffy spun around and looked back at him, now somewhat angry. "Mohra is dead. We killed him."

Angel kept defending himself. He had to remain strong. He couldn't let Buffy break him down. "He said others would come," he replied to her.

Buffy's eyes began tearing up. In less than 24 hours, everything that she had dreamed of and wanted would be ripped away from her forever. "They always come!" She shouted to him. "And they always will.  But that's my problem now, not yours, remember?"

"No," Angel said forcefully. "I won't just stand by and let you fight, maybe die, alone."

Buffy took one hesitant step towards him, giving all she could to make him change his mind and stop. "Then we fight together," she said demandingly.

"You saw what happened last night." Angel said to her. He began walking further in front of her, forcing her to turn around and look at him. "If anything, I'm a liability to you.  You take chances to protect me, and that's not just bad for you, it's bad for the people we were meant to help."

"So what?" Buffy shouted, trying to hold back the tears that were on the verge of falling. She shook her hands in front of her for effect. "You just took a whole 24 hours to weigh the ups and downs of being a regular Joe and decided it was more fun being a superhero?"

Angel shook his head. "You know that's not it.  How can we be together if the cost is your life, or the lives of others." Buffy took a look at him, and he stared at her. Tears were cascading down her cheeks. <Oh God,> Angel thought, slowly walking up to her. He opened his arms and Buffy took a step forward, contouring to his body. "I know.  I couldn't tell you.  I wasn't sure - if I could do it if I woke up with you one more morning." Angel stroked her hair as she sobbed against his chest.

Buffy sniffed, crying freely. "I understand." She pulled back and looked up at him through her tear-filled eyes. A tear dropped down her cheek and Angel tentatively wiped it away. "So, what happens now?"

"The Oracles are giving us back the day." Angel explained. "Turning back time, so I can kill Mohra before his blood makes me mortal."

Buffy nodded, taking everything in. "When?"

Angel looked over at the clock before answering her. "Another minute."

"A minute?" Buffy sobbed through her tears as her eyes widened. <God no. Give us 5 minutes, half an hour, *one* hour….but a minute?> she thought. "No.  No, it's not enough time!"

"We don't have a choice." Angel replied. "It's done."

"How am I supposed to go on with my life knowing what we had?" Buffy said, looking up at him, trying to stay sane. "What we *could* have had?"

"You won't." Angel said back to her, his voice now going hoarse. "No one will know but me." <Can I live after this?> he thought, gazing down at his beloved one.

Buffy said, "Everything we did."

Angel shook his head no, trying to convince her that he would be the only one affected by this once the Oracles did as they said they would. "It never happened."

Buffy shook her head forcefully, refusing to believe what he was saying. Less than 12 hours ago they were making love- <but he's saying that never happened?>  "It did.  It did.  I know it did!" Buffy placed her hand over his chest, still feeling the steady rhythm pounding beneath her fingertips. "I felt your heart beat."

"Buffy.." Angel replied. He pulled her into a tight embrace, kissing her. Everything they felt for each other was built into that kiss- their love, passion, longing, and the knowledge that this would be their last. With hands running throughout each other's hair and up and down each other's back, the lovers kissed one other with all the might they could. Finally, when Buffy and Angel pulled back, Angel breathing in the scent of her body, Buffy whirled around to look back at the clock on the wall.

Buffy's eyes widened as she looked back at Angel. Seconds- not even that much time- was left for the two. "No!  Oh God.  It's not enough time." She cried aloud, beginning to loose the strength to remain calm.

"Shh, please." Angel whispered to her. <Please forget this.> he thought. "Please."  Angel held tightly onto Buffy, now also crying. He heard her sobbing and felt her tears through his gray sweater. "Please, please." He repeated over and over.  

"No.  I'll never forget." Buffy said into his ear. She felt him tighten his grip around her waist, holding onto her until he was forced to let go. "I'll never forget.  I'll never forget.  I'll never forget." She chanted, over and over again. Maybe there was some way she could just hold on-

A bright flash of light enveloped the two lovers as time froze and the day was taken back. A second later, Angel felt as though he was still holding onto Buffy- that she was still here, sobbing against his chest. <Something must have gone wrong,> Angel thought. Angel tentatively opened his eyes, praying that maybe the Oracles hadn't done anything- that he and Buffy were still together.

Angel looked around. He and Buffy were in the realm of the Oracles. Before him, stood the Sister and Brother Oracle, watching Buffy and Angel. Buffy's sobs had quieted and she simply stood there in his arms. "Angel…" She whispered. Buffy took a step back from him, looking around at where they were standing. She began wiping the tears off her face as she stood there.

"What are we doing here?" Angel asked the oracles.

"You mean, why did we summon you instead of simply do as you asked us, lower being?" the Brother Oracle asked.

Angel nodded at the Oracles, confused by what they had done.

The Sister Oracle, the one who had taken pity on Angel once before, walked up to him and Buffy. She gazed at the two before talking, staring at Angel now. "Do you really want us to take away the day that you have spent together?" she asked him. Angel began to speak- "Do you want to erase the life you have created?"

Angel froze and his breath seemed to catch in his throat. <Did I hear that correctly?> "Life?" He asked her.

Buffy heard this too and looked at the Oracles standing in front of her. Fresh tears were once again falling down her cheeks- only these weren't tears of sadness and angst. "You mean…"

The Sister Oracle slowly nodded her head "yes" towards the Slayer. "Yes. The moment when you and the Slayer consummated your reunion, a life was created. The child- the strongest warrior that the would will ever see- grows inside of you even now."

Buffy's legs suddenly felt very weak. "Oh god…" she whispered, looking over at Angel. Suddenly, she was even more in love with him than before.

Angel was feeling the same way. He felt as though he couldn't breath as he looked over at Buffy- the love of his life- who was pregnant with his-- *their* child. It was a little too much to handle all at once. "So…what will-"

"What will happen?" the Oracle Sister asked the two. "We will not erase the day as we had planned earlier. Instead, we will grand the strengths and healings upon you of that you once were." She said, pointing over to Angel. "You must remain a warrior as the Powers That Be wish it- just, a human one."

Angel smiled faintly. <I'm like a male Slayer.> He thought, gazing over at Buffy. Apparently, she was thinking the same thought, and the two met gazes before grinning. Angel stared at Buffy, looking at her stomach and already imagining what it would look like in 8 months.

The Oracle Brother walked up to the two lovers. "Go, lower beings. And be happy."

With that, Angel and Buffy saw a flash of white light before finding themselves back in Angel's apartment, holding onto each other tightly as they once were only 5 minutes earlier. Not even a second had passed since the clock struck 9:00.

In a second, after getting his bearings straight, Angel began sobbing. Sobbing for what he had almost given up, and what they now had. "Buffy…" Angel whispered as he fell to his knees. Angel leaned forward and kissed her stomach, apologizing to her. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry…my love. I didn't mean-" Angel's voice died off before he burrowed his head back against her abdomen, crying and praying that Buffy could forgive him.

"Angel…" Buffy whispered down to him, also falling to her knees to look at Angel in the eyes. "It's okay," she soothed him, wiping away the couple of tears that were in his eyes. "Everything is okay." Buffy wasn't mad- no, she actually understood. Angel had been noble and brave to give up his life for her's. She couldn't have asked for a truer test of his love for her than that.

"Buffy…I'm so- I'm so sorry." Angel whispered to her once again, hugging her tightly.

"I'm not mad at you, Angel." Buffy said to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and gently squeezing for a second.

Angel paused and looked across at her, meeting eyes with his beloved. <She's so amazing,> he briefly thought, before asking, "You're not?"

"No, of course not." Buffy replied to him. Buffy slowly climbed to her feet and pulled Angel up beside her. "I could never be mad at you for what you did- what you were so close to sacrificing for me." Buffy added, taking his hands into hers. "And now look at what we have," she added, her voice much softer. She took his hands and placed them on her stomach where the baby was.

"Oh, Buffy." Angel whispered, so proud of what she had said, and so in love with her that he couldn't say anything else. Angel lowered his head and met lips with Buffy. With all the passion and love he could muster, Angel kissed her lips, over and over again. His hands raced down her back as he pushed her even closer to his body. Angel could feel her stomach pressing against his and was already dreaming ahead 9 months. Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her tiptoes to be closer to him.

Finally, after several minutes together, Buffy and Angel pulled apart. Breathing heavily, Angel and Buffy bumped foreheads together, resting them against one another. "Buffy…" Angel sighed, breathing heavily. Buffy closed her eyes for a second, smiling as she felt his warm breath blow across her cheeks. Angel smiled down at her as he ran his fingers through her hair. "My beloved…you made me breathless. I'm completely breathless."

The End

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