Distribution: Ask first please
Feedback: Yes, please
Spoilers: Nothing really, just B/A based on the upcoming graveyard scene spoilers :)
Disclaimer: Angel and Buffy are not mine, which is very unfortunate because I think I would certainly have treated them better than Joss & co. did... Oh, and Sunnydale isn't mine either... just incase you weren't sure.
Author's Notes: This is from Buffy's POV, which is probably obvious once you start reading :)
Dedication: This is for Ryan (I hope you're still around to see it!) cause she always used to beg me to send fic and waited patiently for so long. I'm still working on the others, hun!!! I promise!

Its cold now. I don't think Sunnydale has ever been this cold before. They all think I'm crazy for sitting out here all night like this. Not even a coat to keep me warm. I guess they don't realize that I'm used to it. That I like the cold.

After all, cold was my safe haven for the longest time. Cold arms around my waist. Cold lips softly pressed against mine. Icy breath against my neck. That feeling always made my body burn up. The chill would sting my cheeks like tiny flakes of snow. His kisses were cold like fire.

Angel was always so blessedly cold.

That's what I'm waiting for, but I couldn't tell them. They would tell me not to go. He's not what I need right now. That's what they would say. But he is what I need. He's all I need. And so I wait.

And then I feel him. Chills run down my spine as his chest brushes my back and the cold embraces me. He doesn't say a word. He doesn't have to. Words pass between us without ever being spoken. Its always been that way. I suppose it always will be. We don't question the connection between us. We just embrace it.

He gently turns me to face him. His cool lips press to my forehead and then softly to the tears that have begun to stain my cheeks. I look up into his eyes and a small whimper escapes my lips. I fall against him and we sink to the ground.

I begin to cry. I wasn't able to before. I thought if I let myself start, then I would break down. That I would never stop. But in his arms, I can cry. I can feel all the pain that I've been keeping burried inside. I can let it all go as long as I can feel that cold against me. Holding me. Keeping me safe. I know I won't fall apart as long as he's here with me.

He holds me so tight as I sob against him. My body trembles, my cries echo all around. I feel the relief of letting go. Of all the fear, and the pain, and the hate and rage and sadness leaving me. I cry for the loss, and I cry for the release.

And in his arms I am free and I am safe. I am comforted by his kiss and his strong embrace. And in his cold I am warm. I am protected. I am loved. And I am cold.

Cold like fire.

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