Rating: G
Pairing: B/A (of course!)
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Never will.
Timeline: After BTVS S5 and ATS S2
Summary: Angel POV - that's all you really need (My first POV fic, so let me know what ya think.)
Feedback: Pleeeeeease. This is the first fic I've ever posted! I've written before, but never posted and I really want to know what people think. Should I keep trying or leave it to the professionals? Let me know! kreipke@yahoo.com
A.N: /thoughts/
A.N.2: I want to send a huge thanks out to trammie. She gave me some great advice and encouraged me to post this. A better beta you will never find.

She's gone.

She's really gone.

I can't believe it. How could I have missed it?

I wasn't even here. I was in some other dimension.

Alone.

She died alone.

I gave my life for hers - what a load of good *that* did.

She died alone. I wasn't there.

And now, alone, I try to cope with her death.

People (well, Cordelia) say I should just get over it. But how can I? How does one just "get over" the death of that which is everything to them?

All I can ever hope to do is cope.

Even now, I can see her smile, hear her laugh.

I might have left her, but she never left me.

I continued my fight in LA.

But not for me, for her.

How ironic that I should choose LA, the "City of Angels." The city she chose when life got to be too much for her. I continue my fight in the city that she chose. It lends a sense of familiarity to everywhere I go, I guess. I might have failed in protecting her, but, maybe, I can succeed in protecting her city.

Yet my quest to cope with her loss takes me far away from anything familiar at all. To this secluded monastery in Sri Lanka.

Something felt off since the moment I got here, but I shrugged it off. /It must be me/ I thought. /I must be so caught up with losing her that I can't even think straight. /

I should have seen the attack coming.

*punch*

I see her on the steps of her high school as she is Called to her destiny.

*smack*

I see her face, determined as she looks down on me at our first meeting.

"Is there a problem, ma'am?"

*kick*

I see her face, flushed from our stolen kisses.

"I look into the future. All I see is you; all I want is you."

*dodge*

I see her, cold and shivering, as my touch warms her.

"I love you. I try not to.but I can't stop."

*snap*

I see her, crushed and defeated as I try to give her what she deserves - a normal life.

"I want my life to be with you."

"I don't."

*crunch*

I see her when she is truly alive. Gorgeous, a Goddess of the Night, as she puns and defeats her enemies effortlessly.

"I'm Buffy. The Vampire Slayer. And you are?"

*crack*

I see her that day. That day that only I remember. When I got to see her, just that once, in the sunlight she loved so much.

"It's a good sound. Thump-thump. Thump-Thump."

*silence*

And then, there's no one else left to fight. They're all dead.

In the midst of the rubble, I feel a sense of rebirth.

She may be gone, but I am not.

Strong is fighting. It's hard and it's painful and it's everyday. But it's what we have to do. And we can do it together.

She told me that once. Saved my life, it did.

But together.together was not to be for us.

She may be gone, but I am not.

I can be strong, even without her.

I can fight, even if she is not physically by my side.

And it dawns on me the time is upon me to return to the flock I must keep.

I will continue my fight.

But not for me, for her.

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