Two Souls in Pain

by Sara-Lee

Disclaimer…as if I want the characters Joss and Co have killed.
Spoilers…up to S6 and S3.
Summary…This is Angel and Buffy's story…The 1st verse is Angel and the 2nd is Buffy and so on like that to the end until they combine… And it ends the way all B/A stories should end.
Dedicated to Leisa…Cause I know how distressed she is over the B/A debacle that is being shown on TV. And to all of us who keep B/A in our hearts forever.


I'm in a box – all closed in
Lying at the bottom of the sea.
Got a lot of time to think
How this all came to be.

I'm standing at the water's edge
The peace of the ocean before me.
Reflecting on this past year of life
And how it all came to be.

One thing I am thankful for
Didn't get to make that big mistake.
Nearly told a woman I love her
Realize I want her as a sister not a mate

They took me from heaven
Thinking I was in some burning hell.
I found it hard to adjust to being home
And I didn't handle it very well.

I have a son – a young man now
That grew up without me at his side.
The man who raised him – hates me
And to my son he lied.

I had to look after my sister
And be her Mom and Dad.
But I could barely look after me
And things turned out pretty bad.

I tried to be what they all wanted
And I fooled them and me- I now see.
It started when I lost my one true love
She died and so I buried the real me.

I couldn't connect to anything or anyone
Not even my soulmate when we did meet.
I hoped he could make it all better
But I still felt dead and incomplete.

Then she came back and I raced to her
Thinking that seeing her would heal the pain.
But it was like she wasn't really here
And so it felt like I lost her again.

I felt cut off and so alone from them all
So I kept pushing them all away.
Then my mentor left me for my own good
And things went downhill from that day.

So I changed and a new me emerged
A guy who laughed and joked around.
I couldn't be the man she loved
He was deep inside – making no sound.

I turned to someone I shouldn't have
Thought pleasure could fill the hole.
He gave me what I thought I deserved
But each day it ate at my soul.

Then unto me a son was given
And I could barely hear that inner voice.
I had family and maybe a new love
I buried my past – I had no choice.

Things went from bad to worse
And my friend's lives fell apart.
I was so wrapped up in my own pain
How could I help them with a dead heart.

Then pain like I have never known
Enveloped me when he took my son.
Time seemed to stop and I was lost
When I realized nothing could be done.

Somehow I found the strength
And I also slowly found my way.
I climbed out of that black abyss
To see some hope in each new day.

I thought my son lost to me
And I felt betrayed by a friend.
Though that inner voice cried out for her
To another I turned to help me mend.

Sadness and grief was felt by all
When hatred and revenge reared its head.
We had to band together against our friend
And to save all from being dead.

And then like great miracle
My son came home to me.
He was fed lies and betrayal
So truth of my love he could not see.

Love was the key that saved the day
Love and friendship proved the stronger.
And now that I have a quiet moment
I can't deny my heart's voice any longer.

So the son buried his Father
Into the deep cold water of the sea.
And as I wait here to be rescued
I feel the return of the real me.

Though I was feeling alone and lost
When I was brought back from the dead.
Deep in my soul a voice cried out
"It is Angel, you need", it said.

I denied the love deep inside me
I hid the truth from sight.
I forgot about my redemption from sins
I forgot about "always' and light.

So now I know what I must do
To keep body, heart and soul as one.
I need to go and get what I want
And I won't stop till it is done.

My heart and soul cry out to her
My voice whispers her name on a sigh.
"Buffy, Buffy, my only love,
This cannot be how we say goodbye."

She saved me from the sea
And we wept in each other's embrace.
Though problems were before us
Together we would these face.

Now as we sit here in the sun
And we reflect on what has come to be.
How eternal love saved us both
And led us on to victory.

She presses a kiss over my heart
Where it beats for her alone.
And as we look into each other's eyes
We both know we are truly home.

The End

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