Disclaimer…They belong to Joss and Co…Not me..
Dedicated..To all my fellow B/A lovers…
Spoilers…Angel's history with Buffy and especially from AtS season 2 episode Reprise thru to S4…Some things that happen in the poem are just speculations..and my thoughts..Could be spoilery though.. So if you are not into spoilers please dont read…

Is it worth it – I ask myself
Am I making a difference at all.
No matter how hard I try
It always seems to end in my fall.

And if hell is here on earth
And goodness never going to win.
If all we do is in vain
Then what is one more sin.

It is how I feel inside
And so I will have to change.
Live in the moment, live like everyone else
I can adapt no matter how strange.

It is easier than I thought
And now I hardy recognize.
The man I can't see in the mirror
So little truth amidst the lies.

And so days come and go
And I laugh and act the fool.
I really have the hang of it now
Until the blow comes fast and cruel.

If I could hide myself away
Pretend it really wasn't so.
A world without her in it
Is a world full of pain and woe.

I take the time to try and deal
But it is nearly more then I can bear.
The only way that I can go on
Is if - someone else's face I wear.

And so days come and go
And then I hear news I can't believe.
Even after I see and hold her close
For something lost I still do grieve.

Something lost and hidden deep
That can give me pure happiness or pain.
I build a wall around it in my heart
So I don't have to go thru that again.

Pretense keeps the hurt away
A hurt so alive, it has a nasty bite.
I will be just one of the boys
No longer a warrior of the night.

A dalliance here and there
A son to teach to love.
The horror of the sea
The loss to those above.

And now everything is okay
Or is it just a trick of the light.
What will it take I wonder
To see the wrongs and make it right.

The beast is let loose
With his brutal honesty to the fore.
Will he tear down the wall
Will he leave me wanting more.

Now the veil has been lifted
And my heart and eyes do finally see.
In denying who I am inside
I have been denying the real me.

I nearly took what wasn't mine
What I didn't really want at all.
Cause a little bit of something
Is better than nothing at all.

I let the fear of being hurt
Close me off from what I hold so dear.
Now the time has come to risk everything
Show her I love only her – make it clear.

But first we fight together one and all
All the warriors come together with their friends.
Time to fight and win or time to die
One way or the other – this is where it ends.

The field runs blood red deep
Some lay fallen, some still stand.
Evil has been sucked to the bowels of the earth
As friends search for friends – hand in hand.

She turns bodies over looking frantically
She is neither Slayer nor Warrior – it is over at last.
She drops to the ground and takes him in her arms
The life draining from his dark eyes so very fast.

Words of love and broken promises
A whispered "I'll never forget" as tears fall.
One last touch, one last kiss
His eyes and lips say "I love you" and then that's all.

The sounds of loss are loud and clear
As she holds him tight against her heart.
She shouts to the heavens in her rage
Storming at the fates that keep tearing them apart.

Then like the gentle winds that stir amongst the leaves
She feels a flutter and dares to hope once more.
As his arms tighten, his lips find hers in a kiss
And their two joined souls fly high and soar.

He remembers her sweet kiss goodbye
He remembers her holding him as he died.
He remembers a voice saying "It is time to Shanshu
Time to live the life he himself once denied."

And so the end is really a new beginning
A fresh start to a miraculous new day.
The journey was never easy or painless
But now they are together – so it is okay.
Now they can walk together under the sun's bight ray.

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