Rating: Lets see.... R?
Couple: Buffy And Angel of course.....
Disclaimers: Don't own `em, don't own anything but the plot.
Summary: Just your average run of the mill angst fic. Set 2 yrs after Angel left. Buffy just can't find happiness............... Don't worry though, this fic will end happy
Feedback: Send all feedback to me at . I need it u guys! Its my happy.
Authors Note: Gunning Down Romance belongs to Savage Garden. Oh and is it me, or did Savage Garden have Buffy and Angel in mind when they wrote there CD affirmation? Oh and Anybody who wants this fic or any others for there site just ask and u shall receive=) Oh and I know this fic is a little similar to my story no more but what can I say, this plot is a little different and this is a one part story.....

It's been 2 years, 2 long years since my guardian Angel has left me. He told me to move on but of course my attempts have been fruitless. Parker, he used me and left me in my pain. How was I to know he wouldn't be like him, like my Angel. He used me and threw me away when he was done. Then there was Riley.......

Love and other moments are just chemical reactions in your brain
In your brain
And feelings of aggressions are the absence of the love drug in your veins
In your veins
Love come quickly
Because I feel my self-esteem is caving in
It's on the brink
Love come quickly
Because I don't think I can keep this monster in
It's in my skin/

He was sweet, pathetic but sweet. To tell you the truth I don't even know why I went for him. I guess he was just there for me. It was meaningless though. I could never care for him like I cared for Angel. There was just no comparison. And when he touched me all I felt was nervousness, not the overwhelming rush of love I got when I saw or touched Angel.

Love and other socially acceptable emotions are morphine
They're morphine
Cleverly concealing primal urges often felt but rarely seen
Rarely seen
Love I beg you
Lift me up into that privileged point of view
The world of two
Love don't leave me
Because I console myself that Hallmark cards are true I really do/

I felt like I was a goddess when I was with Angel. He made me feel like I was the most beautiful treasure the world has ever known. It was no contest, I left Riley before he had the chance to propose, which is something I knew would happen soon. I tried a few more relationships but all they did was leave me more hollow inside....

I'm gunning down romance
It never did a thing for me
But heartache and misery
Ain't nothing but a tragedy/

I knew there was nothing left that I can do, either I go back to my Angel, or I leave this miserable existence I call my life.

Buffy thought of the latter. She thought of all she would lose if she did in fact die. All she thought of losing was the miserable life she lead so she set out to find the perfect poison. Little did she know Angel felt her through there bond and knew she was in trouble. He quickly jumped in his car and out into the night.....

A few hours later...

Buffy arrived back at her place with a bottle of poison in her hands. It wasn't too hard to get, all she needed was the use of her connections and a little slayer power. It also wasn't just any poison, this one was special. It wouldn't kill her right away, rather its hallucinogenic capabilities would make her remember the happiest moment of her life and that would be what she would die dreaming of. She wasn't quite ready to finish the job however, she had a few things to do first. She had to prepare, so she sat down, writing a note to each one of her friends. Lastly she wrote a letter to Angel, telling him of all the joy she felt at them being together. She also told him not to feel sorry for himself for her death and that it was more her fault than anyone else. She told him to move on once he was gone just like he wanted her to. With all that set, she took a shower and prayed to God to forgive her for what she was about to do. Just as Buffy was about to open the bottle Angel came running into the room.

"Buffy What are you doing?!"

"The only thing I know how Angel, without you in my life nothing seems fair anymore. Either we can't be together or some evil twist of fate is pulling us apart. It's just not fair. To me or you, so to make things easier I decided to rid the world of my miserable existence."

I'm gunning down romance
It never did a thing for me
But heartache and misery
Ain't nothing but a tragedy
Love don't leave me
Take these broken wings
I'm going to take these broken wings
And learn to fly
And learn to fly away
And learn to fly
And learn to fly away
I'm gunning down romance/

"Buffy, you can't do this! Not only will you be ridding the world of the most successful slayer known to date, but you will never know how our love may end. You are my life Buffy and without the simple fact of knowing that you are safe I will no longer be able to exist."

"Why can't I Angel, I mean don't you not want me anymore. You left me for what you thought would give me a better life and look at me now, I am nothing anymore. I am nothing without you, we are two parts of the same whole."

"What do you want me to say Buffy, that life will be one big happy story, well its not Buffy! You are the slayer, and I am a vampire with a soul. We can't change that. Besides, the Buffy I know wouldn't take the easy way out."

"Well you left the Buffy you knew with a broken heart. You left her to fend for herself in a bleak world without love. How do you expect me to live without you, I can't and I won't. I have tried to date, but that didn't work out. Do you know why Angel, cause none of those people are you."

Angels anger got the best of him and he exploded unable to contain the rage at the idea that Buffy just wouldn't listen to his reasons, to his logic. How can they be together. He is a creature of the night, so what if his soul was permanent, he still couldn't provide her the life she needed and deserved. Buffy just then broke into wracking sobs, interrupting Angel's thoughts.

"It's just no fair Angel, I refuse to just let you get my hopes up again only for you to leave me again and let me down even more. Each and every time I see my heart breaks a little more at the idea that you will be in my life, and then poof! You're gone...

With those words said Buffy broke into a run. He tried to stop her but he wasn't in time. She ran into the hall and quickly drank the bottle in her hands. As soon as the liquid touched her lips and ran down her throat she dropped to the floor, dead. Angel screamed a gut wrenching cry as he realized what just happened. She was gone, she really died.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Angel awoke with a start. His body covered in sweat. Oh my g-d. It was nothing but a dream. A terrible horrible dream. He knew the situation and he honestly believed that it would happen if he won't pull his head out of his butt.. With that he got up out of bed, dressed and ran for his black mustang. He had to go to Sunnydale. Surely he could convince her to take him back. He had been really stupid. His dream showed him that he couldn't take the one thing with meaning in his pathetic existence.

He climbed into her window. As the breeze blew a very disheveled looking Buffy stirred, cries of Angel on her lips. With that Angel gently lifted her into his arms and with her murmuring he shushed her with a kiss as he carried her off into the night. Into his car, and back into his life.

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