DISCLAIMER: They’re not mine. Wish they were, but they’re not. They belong to Joss. *sigh*
RATING: PG
TIMELINE: Buffy Season Six / Angel Season Three
SYNOPSIS: When she was brought back to life, Buffy and Angel met halfway. We didn’t see it, but here’s what might have happened.
SPOILERS: None at all. If you don’t know by now that Buffy was brought back from the dead, you’ve obviously been living in a cave for the past couple of years.
DISTRIBUTION: Want. Take. Have. Just let me know!
AUTHOR’S NOTES: This is the first Buffy/Angel fan fic piece that I’ve actually finished and I’m really happy with it. Hope you all like it!
FEEDBACK: I want it. I need it. I must have it! Please ...
E-MAIL: angelic_wicca@hotmail.com

"She’s alive! Buffy’s alive!"

Cordelia’s frantic words echoed throughout Angel’s mind as he drove down the nearly deserted highway. He was still trying to grasp onto the idea of Buffy being alive. It only seemed like yesterday when Willow told them the news. When she came to LA and told of Buffy’s death. He had known the minute that he saw the witches face that something was wrong.

"It’s Buffy."

She was dead. His one and only true love was dead and buried. She was gone. But now she was back. He didn’t know how and he didn’t know why and he almost didn’t care.

She was back.

____________________

Buffy stood on the bluff and looked out at the dark, stormy sea as it surged and crashed against the rocks below. A sudden gust of wind whipped her hair into her eyes but she made no move to tame it. She just stood, her arms wrapped around her small frame. She barely even registered the sound of a car as it drove up and parked somewhere behind her. She knew instantly who it was. That familiar feeling crept into her very soul. Her body hummed and her heart skipped a beat. Slowly she turned. Their eyes met. Time stood still.

____________________

If he could, Angel would be struggling to breath as her eyes met his. Even from where he stood, he could tell that she was different. She was still beautiful. Even more so than he remembered. But she had been changed. The physical changes were obvious - her golden hair was longer and she was thinner, but he could tell that the changes went much deeper that the physical. He could see it in her eyes. Her eyes were shadowed. The spark that was the very essence of Buffy was gone. The spark that used to shine bright with everything that she was had disappeared. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted to make someone pay. But more than anything, he wanted her in his arms.

____________________

Before Buffy could utter his name, Angel had closed the distance between them and pulled her into his embrace. She tensed for a minute before she relaxed, encircled in his strong arms. She always did feel safest there. She fastened her arms around his waist in a vain attempt to pull him closer. At the feeling of her arms around him, Angel had to suppress the urge to cry. She was real. She was here in his arms and she was real.

"Buffy."

Her name rolled naturally off his tongue, like it always had and always would. When she didn’t respond, he made and attempt to pull away so he could look her in the face. She held onto him tighter.

"Buffy."

She could hear the concern in his voice. Reluctantly Buffy loosened her grip and gazed up into Angel’s face.

"Sorry," she replied, her voice barely a whisper. Angel smiled.

"Don’t be."

He bought a hand up to her face and brushed his fingertips across her cheek.

"I can’t believe you’re alive," he said, his voice low.

Buffy broke their embrace and turned back to the ocean.

"Me either."

Buffy’s voice was laced with confusion and bitterness.

Angel’s un-beating heart broke. He walked up beside the Slayer and put a hand under her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. She held his gaze.

"You wish they hadn’t brought you back."

He hadn’t meant for it to sound like an accusation but he couldn’t help it. She looked away.

"You wouldn’t understand. There is no way anyone could."

"Buffy, help me understand," Angel pleaded. "I want to know how this happened."

After what seemed like and eternity, Buffy looked up at him.

"How much do you know?" She asked quietly.

"Not much," he replied. "Willow didn’t really say anything except that you were alive."

Buffy nodded, her face expressionless. She took Angel by the hand and led him over to a nearby bench. They sat in silence for a while before Buffy finally spoke.

"A spell."

Angel looked slightly confused.

"Willow, Xander, Anya and Tara. They performed a spell," she explained. "I don’t exactly know all the details because I was, well, dead at the time."

Angel grimaced. Buffy sighed.

"Sorry."

He smiled slightly.

"So they did a spell - and what? You were back - just like that?"

Buffy smiled sarcastically.

"Just like that." She looked at her nearly healed hands. "I was awake. I might as well have been asleep for three months."

"Okay," he said. Angel was still trying to wrap his mind around what she was telling him. There was still so much that he wanted - needed - to know. He noticed that she was staring at her hands. They were scratched and bruised. Angel gently took her hands in his. "What happened?"

Buffy pulled her hands away as if his touch had burnt her.

"It’s nothing."

How was she going to tell him the truth? How was she going to tell the man she’d been through so much with that she’d woken up in her own grave? The mere thought of it sent a shiver down her spine. The slight movement wasn’t lost on Angel. There was something she was holding back. Once again, Angel took Buffy’s hands in his and this time she didn’t pull away. He gently brushed his fingertips over her wounds.

"Buffy ..."

"They cast the spell at my grave," she said in a rush, cutting him off. "Something went wrong. The spell wasn’t finished and I was ... I ..."

Buffy knew the exact moment when he realised what she was saying. A look of pure agony marred his beautiful features.

"Buffy ... No."

A tear forced its way past her long lashes.

"When I dug my way out I was so confused," she explained. "I didn’t know where I was or what had happened. I was so scared."

In that instant she looked like the young 15 year old he had once seen facing her first vampire. So scared and vulnerable. Angel gently wiped the tear from her cheek. He vehemently wished he could go back in time and save her the pain she had endured. Buffy never should have had to go through that.

God what had they been thinking?

"Their hearts were in the right places," Buffy said, reading his mind and breaking his train of thought.

"Willow should never have messed with magic like that," he argued, not bothering to keep the anger out of his voice. "She should have known better."

A whisper of a smile played on Buffy’s lips.

"You sound like Giles."

"Buffy ..."

"They thought they were doing me a favour," she interrupted.

Angel looked genuinely shocked.

"A favour?" he spat. "They put you through hell."

Buffy grimaced.

"They thought I was in hell," she explained. "They thought that I might have been suffering in a demon dimension somewhere."

Angel, once again, looked confused.

"Perhaps it was because of how I died. I did jump into some pretty nasty demon energy."

Angel simply shook his head.

"That still doesn’t justify what they did," he argued. "They shouldn’t have ..." He switched gears in mid sentence. "Where were you? Do you remember?

Buffy stood and walked towards the edge of the bluff. She glanced up at the dark, cloud filled sky and frowned.

"The stars are hiding."

Her voice was small and childish. She sounded so lost. Silently, he came to stand behind her. For a long while they just stood. Vampire and Slayer. Slayer and vampire. Old lovers. Old enemies. Friends. True loves. Angel waited patiently. He knew when not to push.

"This world is so hard and bright," Buffy finally said, breaking the silence. "Full of so much pain and destruction. So much loss." Buffy wrapped her arms around herself. Angel stayed silent. "Wherever I was ... I was happy. At peace. Time didn’t mean anything. There was no pain or confusion. I was warm and I was loved. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I was finished. Finally I was done. I don’t know much about theology or the afterlife but ..."

Angel’s soul screamed.

Buffy’s soul felt it.

"I think I was in heaven."

____________________

There were no words for what Angel felt as those words left her mouth. He felt like his soul was dying.

She had been in heaven.

Without a second thought, Angel put a hand on her shoulder and she turned naturally into his embrace. He held her gently and rested his chin on top of her head. They fit together perfectly as if they were made especially for each other. Finally, Angel found his voice.

"It wouldn’t surprise me."

Buffy lifted her head of his chest and looked up at him.

"What? That I was in heaven?"

Angel nodded, absently running his hand through her golden tresses.

"Think about it Buffy," he said quietly. "You’re the Slayer. You’ve saved countless lives. You’ve saved the world and risked your own life doing it every time. You died to save the world."

Buffy smiled softly.

"I’m no angel."

Angel mirrored her smile.

"Maybe not ..."

Buffy smacked him.

" ... But you were always meant for heaven."

Buffy’s smile faded.

"But I’m not in heaven, am I?" she said as she left his arms and returned to the bench. Angel followed and sat, watching her as she stared into nothing. "I was torn out of there, pulled out by my friends."

"Do they know?" Angel asked gently.

Buffy shook her head.

"They can never know," she answered. "Never." She looked at him for reassurance. He simply nodded. Angel knew she had her reasons for wanting to keep this from her friends.

"Can you handle that?" He asked. Buffy looked at him quizzically. Angel rephrased the question. "Can you keep this secret and be around them everyday knowing what you’ve lost?"

Buffy closed her eyes briefly before looking up at him.

"I have to," she whispered. "They’d be devastated and I can’t do that to them." She looked down at her hands which were clasped in her lap. "They’re so happy to have me back."

"So am I."

Buffy looked deep into his beautiful brown eyes and without thinking, leaned forward and kissed him. The kiss was so familiar to the two of them, so much so that it made them both want to cry. They had shared many kisses like this one. Tender and soft. Full of a love that would last a lifetime and beyond. Yet, at the same time, this kiss was different. It held no promises. No confusion. No doubt. But there was hope, longing. Hope for a future together. Longing for a normal life. Gently Buffy pulled back slightly and rested her forehead against his. Angel’s skin was cool, but as always it warmed her to her very soul.

"Thank you."

____________________

When Buffy had kissed him, Angel thought he was dreaming. He couldn’t keep count of the amount of times he had dreamt of her lips on his, like it had been years ago. But he wasn’t dreaming now. She was here. With him. Angel smiled and gently traced the line of her jaw with his fingertips.

"What are you thanking me for?" he asked. "I did nothing."

"Buffy returned his smile. She placed a hand on the side of his face.

"You’ve done more for me than you’ll ever know," she replied, her eyes glistening with a thousand unshed tears. "Just you being here, knowing that you’ll always be here, it makes things easier."

And at that, Angel kissed her. He thought his heart would explode with the love that he felt for her at that very moment. He kissed her deeply and she responded eagerly. Their souls soared together and for a minute or two, Angel knew what it must have been like in heaven.

____________________

Sooner than either of them would have liked, the kiss ended. A whisper soft sigh escaped her lips. For the first time since she’d been brought back, Buffy actually felt alive. She felt warm and loved. Whole.

"I should go," she whispered reluctantly.

Angel nodded and took her hand in his. Together they walked towards her car. There were so many things that Buffy wanted to say. She wanted to tell him she loved him. She wanted to ask him to come back to Sunnydale with her. She wanted a life with him. She always would and Buffy knew, deep down, that one day, it would be a reality. For now, all either of them could do was dream. When they reached her car, Buffy turned to Angel and wound her arms around his waist pulling him close and laying her head on his chest. Angel wrapped his arms around her, one hand stroking her silky hair.

"Whenever you need me Buffy ..."

"I know."

She didn’t need him to finish. Buffy knew that no matter what happened between the two of them, no matter what they went through and no matter how far apart they were, he would always be there for her and she for him. That’s how it would always be. Buffy looked up at Angel and he placed a kiss of her forehead.

"You still my girl?"

"Always."

____________________

And just like that, she was gone. Angel stood and watched as she drove away from him and he was there long after her car melted into the night. It always came to this. It always came down to them having to leave one another. This time though, it wasn’t as hard. As heart wrenching. Because Angel knew that sooner or later they would be together again. Buffy was alive and somewhere in the future, he would be too. How or when - he didn’t care. One day their dreams would come true. One day. Angel took comfort in that thought as he got behind the wheel of his convertible and began the drive back to LA. As the lights of the highway came into view, Angel did something that he thought he would never do. He thanked the Power That Be. They gave him back the one thing that made his soul sing. The one thing that made him feel alive. He thanked the Powers That Be for Buffy. The keeper of his heart and soul, the source of his salvation and the reason for his fight for redemption.

His perfect happiness.

Angel, the vampire with a soul, smiled.

They both may have fallen, too many times to count, but through it all, they would always be there to catch each other.

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