A Forbidden Dance

A Forbidden Dance

Disclaimer: Not mine. Simple, yet direct. They belong to Joss, who I hate with a fiery passion right about now because he's breaking up Buffy and Angel and bringing in some loser...sigh. That will be dealt with on its own accord. Yes, for those of you who are wondering, my evil mind is thinking up wonderful things that Angel can do to Riley for trying to take Buffy away from him...but I'm getting off track. The characters don't belong to me, they never have and they never will. Don't sue me. 'Feels Like Home' belongs to Chantal Kreviazuk and whoever else owns it. 'I Could Fall In Love' belongs to Selena.
Author's Notes: I probably should be studying for my Biology Regents (anyone who lives in New York will know what I'm talking about), but I'd rather write. I haven't written anything from the first season yet, and I got the Dawson's Creek soundtrack and loved this song. I just had to write this. Buffy is at the Bronze and Angel goes to see her. This is definitely set before 'Angel' but after 'Never Kill a Boy on the First Date.' Feedback is almost as good as chocolate, and since I doubt you guys want to send me any chocolate, feedback will do just fine. E-mail me!!!

He stood off in the shadow, watching her. Ready to defend her in a moment's notice. That was his job. Watch the Slayer, protect the Slayer. Don't fall in love with the Slayer.

Angel winced, knowing he had broken the last one. It hadn't actually been a written rule, it had been something he had told himself the moment before he had seen her. And had broken it in an instant. In one second of the lonely eternity he was forced to live his heart had been stolen by a teenage girl. He was totally and completely in love with the beautiful Slayer. He had been since the moment he had seen her smiling and laughing in the sunlight. She had made him want to become someone again, she had made him want to be a person. He had wanted to run up to her, wrap his arms around her thin body and profess his everlasting love to her.

Yeah, he would've lasted about two seconds in the sun. If he was lucky.

Lucky.

Angel chuckled, a humorless laugh that sounded rather hollow in his ears. Such irony. He wasn't lucky, he was a vampire cursed with a soul. And he was in love with his sworn enemy. How Romeo and Juliet-ish. Well, except the vampire part. And he had better fashion sense than Leo.

He had to face this. He was a two hundred and forty one year old vampire who'd caused a century of terror. She was the Slayer, the one girl in all the world who was chosen to fight the forces of darkness. He was a creature of the very darkness she was to exterminate. She was born of light, innocent and pure. He was evil, battered and torn by guilt. They were complete opposites. Black and white. Good and evil. Light and dark.

So why was he standing in the shadows of the Bronze, surrounded by hormonally-charged teenyboppers, watching her dance and laugh with her friends? Why did he feel so empty and hollow and how did he know that she was the only thing that could cure him? Why did his soul cry out for hers and his body burn to feel her smooth skin on his? He was in constant torment, aching every minute of every hour of every lonely day.

But he had to keep his distance. He knew that, he wasn't stupid. Be tall and dark and mysterious and not let her find out what he was. He couldn1t drag her into his dark, dreary world, she deserved so much more than he could ever offer. He hardly thought her ideal life was composed of blood and brooding and cold darkness. She'd simply stake him if she found out, and the torture would be over.

Or it would last forever.

He frowned as the last thought came into his mind. All he wanted was one kiss, one kiss would quench his need. He would go to hell and back for just one chance to hold her close to him and run his fingers through her golden hair. To inhale her sweet scent and kiss her soft lips, and have the memories that he knew would get him through the lonely nights that made up the lonely centuries. One kiss...who was he kidding? One kiss would leave him forever yearning for more. One kiss would doom him totally.

He snapped out of his thoughts as he looked up. She had spotted him. He obviously hadn't been as blended into the shadows as he had thought. He raced to come up with an excuse for his presence, he highly doubted he could fall to his knees before her and declare his love to her. He knew he couldn't tell her he had needed to see her more than he needed blood to nourish his body. She was the nourishment for his soul. No, that sounded really corny and a *little* too direct.

She approached and he was once again astonished by her beauty. He gave her a sexy half-smile and felt her heart beat faster and her blood pulse underneath her creamy skin. He was glad he could still make girls swoon with just a look. It was just about the only thing he was glad about.

"Lemme guess. A giant man-eating spider is headed for Sunnydale and we're all out of demon insecticide," she said tartly as she came to a stop in front of him. He shrugged.

"Not that I know of," he replied coolly. He was surprised at how calm he was. The love of his life was standing a foot away from him and he was as cool as a cucumber. Literally.

"Okay, well then giant wasps have been spotted in L.A. and someone needs to stop them before they own Rodeo Drive," she said, still wary of the gorgeous man in front of her. He could tell she was trying to figure him out, but he was careful and gave nothing away. He had learned that the hard way.

"What is it with you and bugs?" he asked softly, making her heart melt.

"Biology class. Maintenance of insects...or something like that, thank you," she said rather hotly. He smiled again, saddened by the reminder of the fact that he could never share that with her. Never share study hall, lunch time, math class... "So if you're not here to warn me about something, why're you here, Angel?" she was saying. He loved the way she said his name, it just rolled off her tongue as if it was the most natural thing in the world. She seemed to agree. He wasn't sure what to say, so he just shrugged.

A slow song came on at that point and Buffy seemed to make a snap decision. "Well, since you're not feeling that conversational tonight, will you consider dropping the Cryptic Guy routine for one dance?" she asked, her hand extended and her eyebrow quirked. He looked down at her out-stretched palm and felt love swell in his soul. He waited a moment longer to make her anticipate his answer before nodding and taking her hand to escort her onto the crowded dance floor. He stopped in the middle and turned to her. Angel gathered Buffy up in his arms as she wrapped hers around his neck, securing their position. They swayed softly, still slightly apart, tentative and unsure.

Something in your eyes
Makes me want to lose myself
Makes me want to lose myself
In your arms
There's something in your voice
Makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts
The rest of my life

He smiled at the song, thinking of how true it was. He wanted to pinch himself, he wasn't sure if he was dreaming or not. He couldn't believe she had asked him to dance and that he was being included in her world.

He looked over and got all the proof he needed that it was real.

Xander sat at a table, his eyes ablaze with jealousy and glued on Angel and Buffy.

Angel smiled again, broader this time. He refused to think of the consequences this one dance would have, he just wanted to feel the woman he loved with all his soul in his arms.

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
If you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you1ve done...

They continued to move closer together, shifting and shuffling inconspicuously until no light was visible between their bodies. Buffy rested her head on Angel's chest and he panicked for a second, worried she would discover his total lack of a heart beat. But he was breathing in and out even though the oxygen was doing nothing for him and the music was loud, so she probably wouldn't miss it. He rested his chin softly on her blond head.

It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

Angel reveled in the feeling of her in his arms. They didn't talk, only swayed. Angel tried to fight the growing love he felt towards her, he knew any feeling on his part was futile. But his heart and soul would have none of it and continued to burst with joy at how right it felt and how perfectly they fit together. It was like they were made for each other, two halves of one, mind, body, and soul. They clicked in that instant, and both gasped softly at the feelings they had coursing through their veins.

A window breaks down a long, dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see through the dark there is light

Angel felt more alive in her arms than he had when his heart had actually beat. He knew he had found the love he hadn't known he had been searching for for two hundred and forty one years. He was extremely upset to know that he could never be with her and his brain was screaming at him for holding her so tightly and for even agreeing to dance in the first place.

And then she looked up at him with shining eyes and the voice fell silent.

If you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
If you knew how happy you are making me
I1ve never thought that I'd love anyone so much

They gazed at each other with raw emotion evident in their eyes. They were both so unsure about imaginary boundaries that didn't exist and worrying about stepping over them. Angel tried not to let his feelings show too much, he didn't want to get her hopes too high. His own he could deal with, but the thought of causing her any pain at all was too much to bear. He knew that inevitably he would, but all he concentrated on was the moment. He was actually protecting himself as well, he knew they could never be together. But he wouldn1t think about it right now--he had the next few centuries to brood, so he just kept himself slightly reserved.

He watched the emotions that played across her face. She seemed afraid of her feelings, but she was surprisingly calm. He gazed into her eyes as their heads bent together and their lips grew closer. Angel felt her heart speed up and knew it was beating fast enough for them both. Her eyes slid shut slowly and she inhaled a sharp breath, anticipating the kiss that was inevitable.

They were centimeters apart when Buffy felt a tap on her shoulder. She sighed and opened her eyes, giving Angel a silent apology as she turned to face Xander. She gave him a murderous look and Angel smiled at the fear that passed across the teenager1s face for a moment.

"What?" she asked, annoyed. If looks could kill, Angel would be floating around the Bronze right about now in the form of ash, so intense was the look Xander gave him.

"We've been trying to get you attention for about an hour," he exaggerated. She rolled her eyes.

"Why?" she demanded, her temper rising at the fact that he had interrupted her and Angel's dance.

"Giles needs to see you," he said, swallowing. He had never seen Buffy look so upset. Angel stood behind her, his arms still resting lightly on her waist. He wanted to hold her forever...

"Where? When, Who? Do I need to use the five W's to pry info out of you, Xander?" she asked. He grinned sheepishly.

"Graveyard. Alone," he replied, his eyes flickering over Angel. Buffy sighed.

"Okay, I'll be right there," she said.

"But...he wants you there. Now. He said to tell you as quickly as possible. The fate of the world may be in balance, there's no time for goodbye kisses and sweet nothings," Xander said, obviously feeling jealous that Buffy had danced with Angel instead of him. Buffy gave him another look and he backed up a step. "Well, maybe one kiss..." he said as he stumbled backwards and away from the angry Slayer.

"Sorry about that," she said as she turned back to Angel. "And sorry, but I have to go meet Giles."

He nodded, knowing it had to end. "You look beautiful when you're angry," he said. He couldn't help it, it was true. She was breathtaking, anger etched on her face. She blushed and looked away for a second before returning her eyes to his. He looked deeply into hers, getting lost in the hazel pools. He could stare into them for eternity and still not get enough.

"Thanks. I better go," she said, stepping backwards and looking unsure again. It looked like she wanted to say more, but instead she just gave him a sweet smile. "Thanks for the dance, I'll have to make it up to you sometime."

"I look forward to it," Angel said, then mentally kicked himself for saying it. There could never be a 'sometime,' yet one look at Buffy's shining eyes and his resolve crumpled. He gave her a sexy smile and reached forward to grasp her hand in his own. He raised it to his lips and kissed the back. As soon as his lips touched her skin, shock waves rolled over them both. His skin prickled and warmth rushed through his veins. He knew she felt the same, he could see it in her eyes. She gave him a quick smile and turned and walked away, glancing back over her shoulder more than once to find him still intently staring at her. She blushed and tucked a blond strand of hair behind her ear as she gathered her bag and his leather jacket from her table and left with her friends. He was glad to see she still had it and wore it often, it made him feel closer to her in a way.

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

He stood on the dance floor, watching her retreating form. She opened the door and glanced back one more time before slipping through it and into the night, her friends close at her side. As she left, reality set in and he inhaled a deep breath that he didn't need. He was playing with fire and he knew it. Loving her was going to change everything, of that he had no doubt. He could feel something hanging over him, he didn't know what it was, but it made him apprehensive about the future.

The future that he didn't have with Buffy.

He had to keep reminding himself that their relationship--or lack of--could go nowhere. He was a monster and she would recognize it and stake him without a second glance. She was the Slayer, she would put her feelings aside to perform her duty. He knew she would.

A tiny corner of his mind, which had been whispering to him the whole time, began to talk louder, reminding him of what he truly was. The demon that was trying so desperately to get out was telling him to go after the Slayer and drain her dry, return to his glory days and give in to the temptation. He shook his head and silenced the demon as he turned and exited the club.

He trudged home through the silent streets, trying to fight a losing battle with his heart. He was being rational, there was no way he could ever get involved with Buffy. He wouldn't--couldn't--do that to her.

Yet as he walked home he had the nagging sense that it would be inevitable. They would be together and nothing he did or said would stop it. His mind was saddened by the strange fact, but his heart leapt for joy, as did his soul.

He shook his head and continued to walk, putting all negative thoughts out of his mind and concentrating on what had happened tonight. He had felt their chemistry, it was palpable to all. So much passion...

Angel shook his head and walked into his apartment. He wondered if he would share its location with her, share all he was with her.

Only time would tell...

I could lose my heart tonight
If you don't turn and walk away
'Cause the way I feel I might
Lose control and let you stay
'Cause I could take you in my arms
And never let you go

I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you

I can only wonder how
Touching you would make me feel
But if I take that chance right now
Tomorrow will you want me still
So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know

I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you
And I know it's not right
So I guess I should try
To do what I should do
But I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you

So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know

The End

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