Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did, do you *really* think there would be a new love interest for both Buffy and Angel???? I didn't think so. They belong to Joss Whedon, who really needs to stop with the acid. It's getting *way* old. They also belong to Mutant Enemy and 20th Century Fox. Don't sue, I'm angry and I have a bunch of weird looking torture devices under my bed. I doubt you'll be missed. Oh, and Joss belongs to himself. But I should own him, he'd behave much better if I did.
Author's Notes: One word for you all: Kate. That sums up the reason for this fic. I'd been playing with the idea for a while and since Little Miss Angel's-Potential-Love-Interest was announced I figured I'd give her a proper welcome. What better way to welcome someone than kill them off, right??? *EG* This is the sequel to Free Time, so go check that out first. I don't mean any harm to Joss (well, I do but not here), this is for fun and should *not* be taken seriously. Feedback is needed!!!! Oh, and this is dedicated to all my fellow B/A Extremists and especially Jess, 'cause she gave me some cool quotes to use.
Spike walked into the library, absentmindedly licking his lips of any stray blood. The other people in the room were glued to the television that sat on the oak table, which was for once cleared of musty books.
"Drink. Drink me," Buffy said huskily on screen. Spike stumbled over to Drusilla and plopped himself at her feet, his head falling into her lap as he moaned. Her hand came up to idly comb his platinum hair as she watched Buffy hit Angel on screen to get him to save himself. The two were wrapped up in themselves in a chair, Buffy curled close to her vampire boyfriend.
"Did you find him, pet?" Dru asked softly. Slurping sounds radiated from the television.
"Yeah...bloody wanker was high as a kite, which means now so am I. Oh, look at the little lamb," Spike mumbled, pointing across the white tile at the counter. Drusilla tsked and cradled his head.
"Shh, love, just rest. Leave the nice lamb alone," Dru replied. Spike whimpered as she turned her attention back to the television. Angel had just caused Buffy to kill the bad table in the episode. Everyone present had to admit the scene was both majorly creepy and highly erotic.
"Wow, Angel, how many cold showers did that one take?" Xander asked at commercial. Angel groaned at the memory and shifted in his chair, wrapping his arms tighter around the blond in his lap.
"Are you kidding?" Angel snorted. "Joss wouldn't let me leave until every shot was perfect. It was the most uncomfortable I've ever been."
"Yeah," Buffy chipped in, "But afterwards made it all worthwhile." Angel brightened suddenly, agreeing. Before he could reply, the episode that had been postponed for seven weeks because the WB didn't want kids to attack fellow students with crossbows continued.
They sat in silence until Xander made a snide comment to Angel in the hospital.
"You know, that makes me seem petty and really jealous. Joss really pisses me off," Xander growled. Angel nodded, shooting a look at the dark haired boy.
"And he wouldn't even let me tell you what really happened. So you all think I bit her because she offered," Angel agreed. Buffy snuggled closer to him and he settled back to watch the rest of the show. During the big fight scene Buffy and Angel, growing bored with the fighting, began making out passionately. The library was completely silent until the school blew up.
Xander cried out in pure joy at seeing Sunnydale High blown to bits. The others started for a second, then began laughing hysterically as he unceremoniously dumped Cordelia on the floor to stand, hopping ridiculously from one foot to another and chanting "Bye bye, Sunnydale High."
"It's good to see you're taking the destruction of our school so well," Cordelia said dryly. Xander shot her a dirty look as she pulled herself off the ground and brushed herself off the ground and brushed invisible dirt off her skirt and tube top. Xander sat back down and she slid into his lap, crossing her ankles and wrapping her arms around her on-again, off-again boyfriend.
The episode had reached the final Buffy/Angel moment. Unconsciously, Buffy wrapped her arms tighter around Angel's neck and he pulled her closer to him. Their gazes remained locked on the screen as the lovers cast longing gazes at each other. Gazes full of pain and hurt and above all else love. They stared for an eternity, both holding back because their love was never meant to last.
A single tear trickled down Buffy's cheek as she watched her undead lover turn and walk away from her on camera. "Angel..." she whispered, inaudible to all but Angel and his enhanced hearing. He turned her face gently towards his own and licked the tear away. Catching her sad gaze, he held it with his own, love-filled one.
"I'm right here, baby," Angel replied just as softly. "I'll always be here, you know that." Buffy nodded, soothed by his tone. She cuddled his face to hers and turned back to the end of the season finale.
"Well, they sure didn't leave anyone hanging this year," Oz commented as a commercial for 'Angel' came on.
"Wow, honey, you look really hot in that promo," Buffy said lightly, teasing Angel. He smiled and kissed her nose, making sure she was okay. He had to make it a point to her that he and his character were different--okay, so not really, but *he* wasn't the one leaving.
"So, I guess that's it, huh? Talk about a letdown. I mean, I didn't even get to fight," Faith grumbled from her spot on the floor. "But at least you and Angel got a farewell orgas--"
"Faith!" Buffy hissed. "Yeah, actually, that's a good thing. And why'd you have to tell *Willow* you couldn't leave? You couldn't have waited five minutes for me to get back?" Buffy demanded. Angel groaned and held up his hands.
"Hey, who wrote the script again? Joss was probably so gone he actually thought Willow was you," Angel replied.
Before anyone else could voice their complaints the PA system crackled to life. Voices were heard faintly in the background before a rather high-pitched voice came on.
"Group therapy in ten minutes," Joss Whedon giggled over the speaker. "Just kidding," he said as everyone groaned together. "We're having an executive meeting in ten minutes in my office. I expect everyone present--including you, Buffy and Angel. No sneaking off to go have sex now."
Buffy groaned and slumped into her boyfriend's lap. "Spoil my fun," she grumbled.
"Why does our producer have to do acid all the time?" Willow asked as she stood and stretched. "And he didn't even de-rat poor Amy," she said, gesturing to the cage. Amy's small rat form was busily running on her wheel.
"I thought Spike was supposed to kill the new dealer," Cordelia said as she pulled out her compact and checked her lipstick. As always, it was flawless.
"I bloody well killed the new dealer," Spike groaned, his voice muffled in Drusilla's lap. "The man keeps finding new ones. Where does he bloody get them all from?"
"I heard Chris Charter from The X-Files and Joss talk. Maybe they exchange names," Oz suggested. Giles cleared his throat.
"Yes, w-well, we should probably get to Joss's office before he does something we'll all regret," Giles told them as he walked over to the counter, where Jenny Calendar was sulking. "Jenny, you have to come too."
"I know," she said with a sigh, her brown hair flying as she tossed her head. "I don't understand why *I* have to go, I'm dead."
Giles put a comforting hand on her shoulder as the others stood and began filing out the room. Little conversations sprung up between the couples when Buffy suddenly had a thought.
"Oh God. What happens if he asks about Riley Finn?" Buffy asked, wrinkling her nose. The others stopped dead. It had been two weeks since Riley had met Spike's fangs and they hadn't had a meeting with Joss. No one had asked about him yet, but they knew Joss would want to know about his new favorite character today.
"Riley who?" Xander asked with a smirk. Buffy laughed.
"I like the way you think, Xand," she said as the group continued on to their acid-tripping producer's office. Buffy and Angel led the way through the halls filled with middle-aged men sitting around drinking coffee and stuffing their faces with donuts.
"Good to see you guys practicing for the day you get those police badges," Xander said sarcastically, his thumbs raised as they passed. The crew ignored him and continued talking.
They came to a door that led to Joss's office. A bright sign adorned the oak, simply saying 'God.' Buffy took a deep breath as she grasped the cool metal before turning the knob and pushing the heavy door open. They came into the large room to find Joss seated at the head of the large table. A woman who looked like either she didn't want to be there or had bad indigestion sat on his left. Joss looked up as the group filed in and took their normal seats. Buffy plopped herself down on Angel's lap opposite the new girl and eyed the other woman warily. She was taking a big interest in Angel and Buffy didn't like that one bit.
"Who's this?" Buffy demanded, her hand gesturing at the reddish haired woman. She leered at Buffy's outstretched finger.
"Your boyfriend's new love interest," she said snottily. Buffy stared at her wide-eyed, then turned her head angrily to her executive producer.
"I thought I 'was and always will be Angel's one true love,' " she said, quoting Joss. "What's with new love interest girl over there?"
Joss grinned like an idiot and beamed at her. "This is Kate. She'll be joining Angel's show as his potential girlfriend. It all depends on how the fans react."
Cordelia, who had been staring intently at Kate, suddenly spoke with recognition on her face. "Hey, weren't you kicked off that soap opera 'cause all the fans hated you?" Cordy asked from her chair. Kate bristled.
"It was the damn writer's fault they all hated me," Kate replied hotly. Cordelia didn't look fazed by her snotty retort.
"Is someone trying to get my Bitch of the Year title again? Joss, I really don't appreciate that!" Cordelia said loudly. Joss ignored her as he shuffled his papers, trying to look important. His eyes were getting bloodshot and he fidgeted as he began to come off his latest trip. The others shifted uneasily. Things were about to get ugly.
"Ms. Summers? How did Riley Finn die?" Joss asked in a slightly strained voice. He mopped at the sweat that glistened on his forehead and loosed his tie. Buffy shifted in Angel's lap nervously.
"Riley Finn? Never heard of him," she said quickly--too quickly. Joss stared at her.
"Never? He was found in *my* office with his throat ripped out. Now, the likely candidate would be your little boytoy over there," Joss replied as he uncuffed his sleeves and rolled them up, fidgeting even more.
"I've never laid eyes on the guy in my life," Angel retorted, defending himself. He glanced quickly at Spike, who was resting his head on the cool table. "Did you ask all the extras? You know how they like to snack."
Buffy glanced at Kate and saw her staring intently at Angel, licking suddenly dry lips. Buffy glowered at her and wrapped her arms around Angel's neck in warning. Kate met her eye and raised a sculptured eyebrow in response.
"I asked around, no one knows what happened," Joss said in a rather squeaky voice.
"Wow, isn't that funny," Xander commented, keeping his cool exterior. The others glanced around nervously at each other, not sure how much Joss knew.
"Well, keep your ears open for anything. He will be greatly missed," Joss said, wiping a stray tear from his cheek. Putting a check on a small pad in front of him, he moved to the next item on his 'Very Important' list. "Alright...there have been a number of...friends...of mine, who've disappeared over the last few days. Does anyone know anything about that?" Joss asked.
Everyone in the room who knew kept their gazes away from Spike. They'd been tricking Joss for so long, they knew not to look at the guilty one. Which was Spike, as usual. He was in charge of getting rid of the acid dealers.
"Anyone?" Joss asked again, drool starting to form at the edge of his mouth. "Chris Charter has called me and he seems to be missing some of his deal--friends, also."
"Sorry, Joss, we haven't seen anyone," Giles said from his spot next to Jenny. The dark haired gypsy sat with her arms crossed and a very bored expression on her face. Joss took note of this and marked something else off his list.
"Jenny, we've decided to bring back the First again so you get to have some screen time next season. Isn't that great news?" Joss asked. Jenny glowered at him and rolled her eyes.
"Oh, joy, I get to act psycho and torment poor Angel all over again. Someone pinch me. Or knock me out, I don't care which," Jenny said bitterly. Kate stared at her with immense distaste. Buffy was hating the woman more and more and it came to a peak when she spoke again.
"Joss, have you told them the news you shared with me about Angel's curse yet?" Kate asked, her eyebrow raised as she gazed straight at the blond Slayer. Buffy glared right back.
"No, Kate, I don't think you understand how these meetings work," Joss said hotly, hating losing control of his meeting. Did his door not say 'God'? He was the one running things around here. Everyone watched as he fumed and his face turned a dark shade of red.
"That's what an addiction'll do to ya," Faith said with a smirk as she watched Joss struggle with his control.
"We'll come back to that, Kate, darling," Joss said after he had taken several deep breaths. "But we must discuss the season finale that just aired. Any comments?" Joss asked, throwing the subject on the table. Buffy spoke up.
"Can I just say that the good bye scene between Angel and I sucked? Why was there not even an 'I love you'?" Buffy demanded. Angel nodded.
"You got your farewell scene when he drank your blood," Joss replied to the agitated Slayer, who scoffed at him.
"I don't think the fans appreciated your good bye. Not after what you did to them in The Prom, the whole, sweet cuddling scene and then breaking up in the sewers," Buffy retorted. "Talk about romantic."
"Yeah, I'm gonna agree with Buffy on this one," Angel said.
"You just agree with her 'cause she puts out," Kate shot back. Angel looked at her, startled. His expression changed from surprise to anger as his self control dwindled. He actually had to *work* with her? He'd been in the same room with the woman for five minutes and he already wanted to kill her.
"Okay, can we *not* talk about my sex life? Thanks ever so much," Buffy said sarcastically.
"Well, I wasn't too pleased with my comment to Angel in the hospital scene. I sounded totally stupid," Xander spoke up.
"Why did I have to kiss Wesley?" Cordelia demanded.
"Why did I have to look like a slut for missing the beginning of graduation?" Willow asked.
"Humus?" Oz asked, the only thing he had to say.
"Um, hello, coma girl over here," Faith said under her breath.
"I'm dead," Jenny said sadly.
Joss sat quietly as they all voiced their complaints, then spoke solemnly, his authority dripping from his tone. "You are a dick, Xander, that's what you do. Say dick-ish things. Cordelia, you had to kiss Wesley so we could get him to leave. And to embarrass you a little bit. Willow, we're turning you into a slut, gotta get the image out early. Humus is very cool, Oz, watch what you diss. Faith, you've gotten too much action this season, I had to put you in a coma for this one. Plus Willow was in one last season finale, I think it'll be my new trend. You'll be back, Jenny, don't worry."
Everyone sat fuming as Joss spoke. Angel felt Buffy's muscles tighten as she got ready to pounce on him. He held onto her waist tighter, preventing her from killing their acid-tripping executive producer. Who was now dripping major sweat and giving off a funny odor.
"Joss, you know, they say too much acid can be a bad thing," Oz said as they watched their producer shake and begin to moan softly.
"What do they know?" Joss spat out. Angel and Buffy moved their chair away from him as he continued to spiral downwards.
"Alright, honey, just take deep breaths..." Buffy said quietly, in a calm, soothing tone. Joss glared at her with bloodshot eyes.
"Oh, go screw Angel, I know you want to," Joss retorted. Buffy gave up trying to help and glared right back at him with cold fury in her eyes.
"Do I have your permission?" Buffy asked evenly. Joss sighed.
"No. From now on you and Angel can no longer see each other off screen either," Joss said, once again abusing his executive producer power. He hadn't been like this the first season...power really does corrupt.
"Excuse me? It's in my contract. I can do whatever--and whoever--I want off camera," Buffy shot back, her voice raised as she fought from reaching over and snapping Joss's neck. It was so thin, she'd only need one hand...
"I want Kate and Angel to spend some time together, to get to know one another. She will be his new girlfriend, after all," Joss replied, his own pathetic excuse for a resolve face meekly showing through.
"That's great...unfortunately, you can't control what we do off screen. Sorry, Joss," Angel said, "But this time you don't win."
"Oh, but I do," Joss said with a gleam in his eye. He reached across the table and took one of Kate's hands in his own. "You see, my dear boy, your curse is only breakable with Buffy, because she gives you true happiness. Only her. So you'll be screwing Kate every chance you get...and then you'll have to go back and explain it all to your girlfriend. 'Yeah, you remember that Kate girl, Buffy? Well, I kinda slept with her last night and didn't lose my soul...' I love having power," Joss said as he watched the rage from Buffy's face edge over to Angel's.
"That's not fair. You know all the B/A 'shippers out there won't put up with that, Joss," Buffy spat out, her gaze burning into Kate's cool one.
"Unfortunately, they don't have a say in anything," Joss replied. He hated fighting with his Slayer, but she was just too stubborn for her own good. He was doing this for her own good, the whole Angel thing had gotten old months before. Besides, he was the executive producer. Of course he was right.
"Yeah, and when the ratings fall and no ones watching your precious show, then what'll you do?" Xander asked sarcastically. Joss shot him a look as more sweat dripped down his face. It was pooling on the table in front of him, coming centimeters from his ever important list. He checked another item off it, feeling special that he had covered everything.
"Well, the WB has to carry the show for two more seasons, so I don't see a problem," Joss told him. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. Joss didn't notice, he was having too much trouble breathing. He picked up his private phone and dialed a familiar number, not caring who was in the room at the moment.
"Hello?...yeah, it's me...where are they all?...you're kidding. They've *all* disappeared?...and they were last headed here?...hmm, sounds suspicious to me...find someone, I *need* more. I feel my creative juices drying up, I have two shows to write for and produce. Don't let me down," Joss growled into the phone before slamming it shut. He returned his attention to his cast and was dismayed to see Buffy and Angel making out, Xander and Cordelia fighting, Kate and Faith fighting, Giles and Jenny watching quietly, and Oz and Willow missing. Spike and Drusilla had also disappeared and he wondered where they had gone.
In actuality, the four had split up, each taking up guard at the main doors so Joss's dealer would not get in. That was the last thing he needed.
"Stop, everyone, stop!" Joss cried, to no avail. His breath became labored and sweat dripped into his eyes. The room spun in a dizzy circle and the voices droned on and on. Buffy's tank top went flying, landing squarely on Joss's head. He felt so weak he couldn't lift his arm to take it off. He just needed to wait for his new dealer to come...just a little longer...
Joss gasped as his heart slowed its steady rhythm. He reached again for his cell phone, this time to call 911, but his hand never reached it. He keeled over in his important executive producer chair, his breathing highly labored. His leg shot out and kicked Buffy, causing her to cry out in surprise. Buffy detached her lips from Angel's and was about to scream at him when she saw Joss in his chair.
"Shit," she breathed as she re-hooked her bra and pulled her tank top back on. She reached for his phone as Angel stared at her.
"What're you doing?" he asked.
"Calling 911. We can't very well let him die here, the studio would kill us," Buffy replied before she talked to the emergency operator on the other line. Angel stood up, sliding Buffy off his lap and into the chair in the process. She told him about the situation and gave him the directions to the studio. Turning back to the scene, she whistled sharply.
"Ahem, our producer just keeled over because he didn't get his acid. If anyone cares," Buffy said. Kate wailed when she saw him and rushed to his side, cradling his head in her lap. "Okay, let's over react a tad," Buffy said. Kate glared at her.
"Shut up, Slayer. Joss is the only way I can get your boyfriend," Kate replied smugly.
"You won't *have* my boyfriend, Kate dear. Which letter of 'mine' don't you understand?" Buffy asked hotly. Kate glared at the blond Slayer.
"You just wait until he gets a taste of this," Kate said. Buffy's eyes strayed from Kate to her undead boyfriend, who stood behind his new costar in full game face.
"Hey, Kate. I'd like you to meet someone. This is Angelus, and he doesn't like annoying bitches who try to take him away from me," Buffy said with a smirk as she gestured towards Angel. He growled at her as she looked at him and she shrieked in horror.
"What she said. You know, I was against the whole love interest thing from the beginning. Now that I see you, I'm even more against it," Angel said, letting his demon come forth for the moment. Kate bristled when what could have been a compliment turned into an insult.
"You haven't tasted this yet, honey. Don't knock it until you've tried it," Kate said huskily. Angel snorted.
"I'll just go ask all the other guys you've screwed. What are you up to, half of L.A. now?" Angel asked, a smirk on his lips, allowing his fangs to show clearly. Kate was watching them nervously, not liking the way he was staring at her... "Oh, are you afraid of these? 'Cause I can use my regular teeth. It'll just hurt a lot more."
Kate paled as she realized what he meant. Blunt teeth ripping through her throat did *not* sound like a good time. Any kind of teeth ripping through her throat didn't sound like a good time, actually. "Angel...you can't kill me! I have a contract with Joss!" Kate cried. Buffy snorted.
"Yeah, so did Riley and look where it got him. He met Spike's fangs real fast," Buffy replied sweetly, remembering her would-have-been love interest. He had been much too wimpy for her. The guy had *cried* when they had made fun of him. Definitely not quality boyfriend material. And yet she already had the perfect boyfriend. He was willing to murder someone in cold blood for her. Love really did make you do the wacky.
Angel grabbed Kate's neck, pulling her viciously to her feet. He smirked at her fear. "See, Kate, this is what happens when you piss my girlfriend off. You die. The only way to learn a lesson is to go through it, right? Consider this your lesson," Angel said as he pierced her smooth skin with his fangs. He gulped the warm blood down, draining her dry in no time at all. Dropping her drained body, he stepped over to Buffy, losing the blood lust. He kissed her softly, tangling his fingers in her hair.
The paramedics burst into the room, coming onto the scene of chaos. Cordelia and Xander were alternating between making out furiously and screaming their heads off, Faith was attacking the punching bag in the corner with a vengeance, Giles and Jenny talking about the latest prophecies they were researching, Buffy and Angel kissing tenderly, Kate's dead body lying under Joss's still form. He was still breathing--barely--and they moved quickly, ignoring the scene around them. They strapped an oxygen mask to his face as they put him on a stretcher and wheeled him out of the room.
"No wonder they haven't gotten any Emmy nods yet," the one paramedic said to his partner. She frowned.
"That Angel is pretty damn hot, I'm surprised he hasn't been nominated for his looks," she said. Getting into the ambulance, she helped load Joss Whedon into the back before radioing the hospital. "Male, thirty three years of age, massive acid withdrawal."
"Another one? They just brought in someone else, not sure yet who it is. He was muttered something about the truth being out there..." the voice on the radio said. "We'll be ready for him."
"Guess who's the new executive producer of both shows?" Buffy asked as she and Angel walked hand in hand into the library the next day. "Since Joss will be recovering for quite some time, I get to be in charge. I solemnly swear to not be corrupted by the power laid before me," she said jokingly, her hand raised in the air. Her friends laughed and pointed to the wall. Kate's dead body was nailed up next to Riley's, under a sign in red paint that said, 'Buffy and Angel's love interests. Let them always remind us of what we have to fight for.'
"Aww, you guys are so sweet. Thank you. I want all your input, too, this is *our* show now and we can do whatever the hell we want with it. Any ideas?"
The response she got was overwhelming and she smiled. It was good to be on top.
And so ends my crazy story. Wow, I feel better. Do you think I made Kate feel welcome enough? I hope so, that was my intent...
Send feedback to Serena
Back to the Fanfiction Archive