Here's my new fic for all of you. Please let me know if I should continue or not. Also by your request I will be writing a fic to go along with "An Angel For a Roommate", right after I finish this story.
Disclaimer: Characters are property of Joss. If I owned them Buffy & Angel would be happily together.
Rating: PGish I guess.
Distribution: My site http://www.geocities.com/buffy_angel_lover14 . BA_Fluff, archives, and if you have permission for any of my other stories, you can have this one. Anyone else if you want it take it, and tell me where it's going.
Spoilers: I guess Buffy: Into the Woods, but definitely Angel: Reunion
Authors note: I got this idea after watching this year's Christmas episode of Popular. It's kind of a "It's A Wonderful Life" thing with a Buffy and Angel twist of course. You don't have to have seen the movie or Popular to understand it. I have only seen parts of the movie myself. I'll only be taking the basic idea. I promise it will get B/A
Feedback: Pretty please? Must I beg for it? It will make me write faster, and I'll know that what I write is actually kind of good.

Part 1

Angel walked into the hotel after another long night of hunting. Every night he stayed out from sunset to sunrise trying to find Darla and Drusilla, but he had no luck what so ever. He wanted to kill them so he could try to rid himself of the guilt for locking those two in a room with those lawyers. He didn't know what had come over him. He had felt Angelus, take over his mind for just that fleeting moment. He had lost control, and let the demon inside make the decision.

Angel tried to get some sleep, but every time he closed his eyes he saw the pain and fear in those people's eyes. It was too much.

He got out of bed, and took out his frustrations on his punching bag. He hit it long after he no longer had any feeling in his hands. Finally he caught the punching bag instead of sending it another punch.

'You have destroyed your chances of becoming human,' his mind hissed. 'You can't receive your redemption when you knowingly kill innocent humans. You're a worthless monster.'

He took an unnecessary breath, he held back the tears that were trying to fall from his eyes. He had fired the only friends he had. They would never be able to trust him again. The three of them meant the world to him, they were his family. 'They don't care about you now,' his mind told him. 'There's no one left that cares about you.'

"She cares!" he shouted to no one.

"If she cares so much then why isn't she here with you?" came a voice that wasn't just a part of his imagination.

He turned to the voice. "Jenny," he gasped. "What are you doing here? You're-"

"Dead," she finished. "I know. I'm aware of that fact."

"No it's not you. I must be dreaming."

"You're not. I am real."

He shook his head; "You can't be real. You're a ghost."

"Something like that, I guess you could say."

Another thought occurred to him, "Last time I saw you, you were the First Evil. How do I know that's not what you are now?"

"You have to believe me, that I'm not that First Evil thing. I don't even know what you are talking about."

"Two Christmases ago you came and haunted me. You told me to lose myself in Buffy and become a monster again."

"That wasn't me. I assure you. I'm not coming to you from a place of evil."

Angel gave her a doubtful look, "Really? Okay, then where do you come from?"

She looked upwards, "I come from above." She looked directly at him. "Heaven. I come from God."

"You're lying. God wouldn't care about a monster."

"That's were you are wrong. He cares about every creature. You have done so much good for Him. You can't be tempted be the dark side."

"I have done so much more evil than I have good."

"Angel, can't you see? The good you have done outweighs the evil. You weren't even the one that did the wrong. I know that you and Angelus are different completely. It was Angelus that killed me, not you. If I can see that, then so should you."

"But I am the one that let Darla and Drusilla kill those people. I could have prevented it. Nothing I say or do can bring them back. ExceptŠ" he trailed off.

"Don't say it. You have no idea the power of those words."

"Why do you care? What's in this thing for you?"

Jenny smiled, "If I can save you, I get my wings. I'll be an angel. A real one."

"An angel? Now I know I'm crazy."

"You have no idea how much of a difference one life can make."

"Oh, I know how much of a difference my life can make. If I had never became a vampire, so many would be alive, including you. I wish I was never made a vampire."

"The consequences of that choice are serious, Angel. Are you sure you want to face them?"

He nodded, "I am."

"Have you ever heard the saying 'Be careful what you wish for'? Because you are about to see what this world would be like, if you never existed as a vampire."

"That's impossible. There's no way."

"There is. Angel, you haven't ever existed in this time. Are you ready to see your loved ones lives? I can tell you some of it might be painful."

"Somehow I still doubt that this is really happening."

"You won't doubt it soon. Follow me." She opened up the door to the room, and all of a sudden they were in a different place. Jenny pointed, "Do you recognize her?"

Angel looked, "I can't say that I do."

"Look again, more carefully."

He did as he was told. "Cordelia?" he finally managed to whisper out.

Part 2

Angel stared wide-eyed at Cordelia. Her face was thin and pale. There were bags beneath her eyes, indicating that she was tired. She looked like she was aged.

"What year is it?" Angel asked.

"2005." Jenny offered.

Cordelia seemed to stare right at him, but she made no motion of his appearance.

"Can she see us?"

"Do you want her to?" Jenny inquired. "You have the choice if she can or not."

He thought for a moment before deciding, "No, I don't want her to see me."

"If she could, she wouldn't know you anyway."

Angel caught a glimpse in Cordelia's eyes. They held no emotions, but he could see a hint of pain in them. Angel looked around the small apartment. It was falling apart. The wallpaper was peeling and was faded. The place smelled dingy.

"Cordy would never live in a place like this. She's too good for it."

"She can't afford anything better. It keeps her off the street, that's why she stays. There's no where else to go. You are the one that kept her from living like this."

"All I did was give her a job. She took care of herself."

"Angel, she depended on that job. Without it, she tried to become a star, but she didn't have the talent. No one wanted her."

"I'll be the first to admit she's not the greatest actress. But she has been getting better. She's taking classes and everything."

"She can't afford a class. She's works as a waitress, barely bringing in enough money to live off of."

"Mommy!" the voice of a little girl called.

Angel saw a small child walking over to Cordelia, "She's a mother." He watched as the girl climbed in her mother's lap.

"A young one. Caitlin is 5 years old. Cordelia was still a child when she had her."

"You're telling me that my life is important, but if I existed she wouldn't have this child."

"This child came from a rape. The first year she lived in L.A. a man saw her walking the streets alone, and took advantage of her. She loves Caitlin, but neither her nor the child deserve the kind of pain they go through each day. Cordelia should have a loving husband to raise her daughter with."

"She's a brand new life. How bad is that?"

"They can't afford healthcare. Caitlin will catch pneumonia and die at age six. Now you tell me what good that will bring."

He stood speechless.

She continued, "That's what I thought."

"I still don't believe that my life is what stopped her from this."

"Are you blind? You were her friend. Her family. You were there for her when no one else was. You helped change her. You helped make her the woman she was, but without you she was alone."

"She's just one person. With me not around so many were never killed. Drusilla, you, and many others."

"Just one person. How can you say that? You are standing here looking at a woman, whose life was destroyed. How can you not see that you should be living?"

"You will never be able to convince me that I matter. They don't need me around. I have ruined their lives."

"When you say their lives you really mean one person. Don't you?"

"It's none of your business." Angel snapped. "So stay out of it."

"Touché. I see what the Powers meant. You're about to jump off the deep end, and with no parachute to save you."

"The Powers That Be are in on this?" he questioned. "Great, all they care about is having me as the warrior."

"You're wrong, why else are they behind the 'Shanshu' thing?" His head jerked up at her. "I see you know about it."

"I'm not going to get it. I wrecked my chances at it."

"No you haven't it. So you've made some mistakes. Who doesn't?" Jenny gently touched his arm; "You have more to see."

He looked once more at a poor unkempt Cordelia before a bright light flashed before his eyes. He shielded them from the blinding light. When it faded, his eyes slowly gained their vision back. The room came into focus. He gave Jenny a confused look, "Why are we at a prison?"

Part 3

"This is prison? Why are we in here?" Angel asked Jenny again.

"Faith's here," she answered simply.

"How is that different from before? She was in prison."

"Come with me, I'll show you what's different." Jenny led Angel down a narrow corridor, passed many closed and locked doors. Finally she stopped in front of one. "Faith is in there."

Angel looked through the iron bars located at the top of the door; "She's in there all alone. Why?"

"She's in solitary confinement. She's not allowed to be around anyone else."

"How come? She shouldn't be locked up like some mental patient."

"She killed two guards, as well as another inmate. She's too dangerous to be near others. There's always a fear that she will take someone else's life."

He gave Jenny a look of disbelief; "Faith is not like that. I mean she was, but she's trying to change. And she's doing a good job at it."

"She changed because Buffy and especially you, gave her the support she needed to start to turn her life around. Without you, the cold heartless murderer never left. She still doesn't feel remorse for any of the lives she has took. She's now serving countless consecutive life sentences. She'll never see the light of day, and probably not another human being either. And with her slayer strength and good health, she won't die for a long time. Who knows how long she'll have to sit here."

"If she doesn't feel sorry for what she has done, then she would never have turned herself into the police. Why is she in jail then?"

"The police finally caught her. They aren't as dumb as you think."

"She's too strong for them. How did they manage to hold her in custody? She would have killed them."

"They tranquilized her. The police finally got some common sense," Jenny replied.

"Even if I were alive Faith would still be sitting in prison."

"Yes, I know. But with you around she wants to make amends for her wrong doings. She doesn't have to sit in a cold dark cell alone. She can be around others. Rather you think so or not Buffy and you were major influences on her life."

"That is the second time you have mentioned Buffy was important for Faith. Why didn't she help Faith?"

She shook her head; "You are not ready for that one, not yet."

He gave her a confused look, but didn't push the issue any further. "Can I talk to her?"

"Buffy? You can't-"

"No." He nodded his head toward the door; "Can I talk to Faith?"

"You can. You can walk through the door right now, if you want to."

Angel started for the door while Jenny stayed put. He looked back at her, "Aren't you going to come with me?"

"This is for you only. I can't do you any good being there with you. You must do this alone. I can offer you no help as long as you are in there. One more thing, she has no memory of you. She will not know you. You must realize that."

He walked through the door. Faith had her head in her hands, staring off into space. "Faith." Angel said her name softly, catching her attention.

She jumped up; "Who are you? How did you get in her? What are you? A ghost or something?"

"Something like that. You don't have to be afraid of me."

She snickered, "You think I'm afraid of you. I could kill you with my bare hands before you could say 'Stop'."

"I don't think that'll work too well, seeing as I don't really exist."

"Oh yeah the whole ghost thing. What do you want?"

"Why are you here?" Angel questioned.

"Not only do I get visited by a ghost, but I get visited by an idiotic ghost. Hello, I killed people."

"Why?"

"Why? They get on my nerves. Is that a good enough answer for you?"

"How can you not feel bad for what you have done?"

She yawned, "Boring. Got anything that I haven't heard before to throw at me?"

"You should have listened to Buffy when she tried to help you." Angel stated.

"Listen to Buffy? She never helped me. How could she? And besides I don't take stock in those kind of people. She's-" Faith was cut short as Angel was taken from the room.

He turned to Jenny, "Why did you do that?"

"You're not ready for it yet."

"You have said that already. Not ready for what?"

"You have more to see. I believe this was you new friend, Gunn."

"What do you mean was?"

"He's a vampire," Jenny told him.

Part 4

"Gunn is a vampire? How the hell did that happen?" Angel yelled at Jenny.

"He got bit."

"Oh, you are so funny," he snapped back sarcastically. "Now really, what happened to him?"

"A vampire got the best of him. He couldn't stop it."

"Was it his sister who changed him?"

"No, he was able to kill her, you didn't have any effect over that. He liked the high-risk jobs. You helped him realize that he has to be more careful. You two working on the same team has kept him protected and alive."

"So fighting with his street gangŠ"

"He wasn't the only one killed in that fateful battle. Two of the others lost their lives. They weren't made into vampires, but they're still dead. There were too many of them, and he knew it. Gunn would have never went after those vampires without calling you for help."

"You have got it wrong this time. Gunn rarely ever asks for my assistance. I doubt he would have asked this time."

"But you'll never know if he would have or not. All that you know is that he's a vampire without you in his life. Do you know how many innocent people will die at his hands? You thought that not existing would keep people alive, but did you ever think that without you around others might die? I would think over it a bit if I were you."

"What happened to Wesley?" Angel inquired.

"Are you the one calling the shots now?" Jenny shot back. "He never left England. There was no need for him as a watcher here. He's there as part of the council."

"So Giles was never fired?"

She shook her head, "He wasn't."

"That's great. Buffy loves having him as a watcher. He is like a father to her." Angel informed her.

"You have the hopefulness of a child. You have so much more to learn. Giles and Buffy never became close as they are now. He was just her teacher, and she was a student to him. A very disobedient one."

"You're trying to tell me that I had an effect over that. They developed their own relationship. I had nothing to do with it."

"You will see in time."

"I am tired of hearing you say that!" Angel yelled at her. "Why don't you let me make my own decisions over rather or not I'm ready to see whatever you are referring to? And I think I'm ready."

"You never let her make her own decisions. You made them all for her, including one of the biggest she would ever be faced with. You wouldn't let her voice be heard, her opinion. You ignored it, thinking that you knew best."

"You know nothing about it. Buffy is better off without me. Her life is probably much better now since she has never known me."

"Maybe you're right, but she deserved the right to have a part of that decision."

"I decided that I was leaving Sunnydale, she couldn't have changed my mind no matter what she did."

"I know. The girl risked her own life to save yours, and you walked away without even so much as a goodbye. She deserved at least that." Jenny pointed out. "I'm not letting you make the decision on when you are ready, I will do that."

"Just because I left Buffy without her having a say in the matter? That's completely unfair."

"You were unfair. Thinking that you know what is best for another's life. Don't you think that you are taking on a higher role than what is rightfully yours? Well, now it's your turn to be on the other side of the unfairness. What do they call that? Oh, I believe it's a taste of your own medicine."

"What is with this torture? I thought you were supposed to be making me want to live. It's not working. Why are you putting me through all this crap?"

"It's to prepare you for what you are about to see."

"So you are going to show me. I'm ready for it?"

Jenny gave him a small smile, "Soon. Right now you are about to travel more than two hundred years into the past. You are going to see what your life would have been like if you were never made a vampire."

Part 5

Angel looked around. Jenny and him were back in eighteenth century Ireland. He couldn't believe it; it all felt so real to him. What had been a dim memory to him for so long was now right in front of his eyes. He turned to Jenny and asked, "We're really here? In the past."

"We are. This was your home," she pointed.

"I didn't need you to tell me that. I did once live here."

"You are such a pain in the ass. Has anyone ever told you that?"

He ignored her comment and looked at his house. "Are we going to go in there?" he wondered.

She nodded, "We are. That's the only way you will find out what would have became of you and your family."

The two of them entered the home.

Angel heard muffled sounds. He followed them, and came to his younger sister's bedroom. "What's going on?"

"See for yourself," was all Jenny offered him.

He walked into the small room. His parents were clinging on to each other, crying. His sister lay motionless in her bed. He saw himself huddled in a corner alone. "What happened?"

"Your sister died."

"How? I was the one that killed her."

"You still are the one that kills her."

He shook his head, "No. I don't believe you. The only reason I killed her was because I was a vampire. That never happened. She can't be dead by my fault."

"But she is. You are the cause of her death. Only now she endured so much more suffering than the quick death you gave her before."

"How did I do this?" he wanted to know.

"She died of syphilis, courtesy of big brother." Jenny answered.

"I gave her syphilis. How?"

"Simple, you had it. You did have a fancy for the girls, no matter what their class was. Anyway, you had a chancre sore on your lip. You gave her a quick goodbye kiss one night before you went out. It was nothing more than a brotherly gesture to please your mother. But your poor sister contracted syphilis. She was so small, her body wasn't as strong as yours."

"So no matter how I look at it, either way my sister's death is because of me." He let the information sink in. "Damn it!" He slammed his fist into the wall. He quickly looked up, worried that the others could hear his action. They didn't look to him at all. He gazed at his little sister. Slowly he made his way to her bed, "I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"This was all your fault!"

Angel looked up to see his father yelling at his eighteenth century self.

"But father, I did not mean to. I had no idea this would happen to her." Liam reasoned.

"Going out and bedding all those women got you to this. I do not want to see you in my house again."

"Mother?" he looked at her for help.

She didn't answer, only continued to weep.

"I said out!" his father yelled.

Liam ran from the house.

Jenny spoke up, "Your mother cried for a month after this day."

"She really took my sister's death hard."

"Not only that. She lost both her children in a matter of hours."

"You meanŠ?" Angel started to form the question.

"You went out, and got yourself really drunk. You were so foolish; you walked right down the middle of the street in the dark. Then you tripped and fell to the ground. You were to drunk too get yourself back on your feet. You never saw the carriage coming, and vice versa."

"I got ran over by a carriage." Angel said.

"It's pretty sad. Angel, you never got to make amends for your sister's death. You never felt love. You died alone, with no one to be by your side. No one to visit your grave. In this life you have felt love. How can you not want to live?"

"Easy. Fewer people have died. I didn't kill my parents for one."

"But you have saved so many. Protected people from a death that would come to soon. Without you, all the people you have helped to save are dead. They didn't get to live the full life that they deserved. Every life counts. The absence of only one person in someone's life can make a huge difference. No matter how little the deed you did for them, it did make a difference in how their life was lived."

"Before I can even decide rather or not to live again, I have to know what happened to her."

"Are you ready for that?"

"That's what I wasn't ready for?" Angel questioned. "I think I am ready. Show me."

Part 6

Angel looked at his surroundings; they were at the Master's old lair. "Why are we here?" he asked.

Jenny pointed, "Look."

He watched as three vampires talked to the Master. "The Three," he whispered. "Why are you showing me this? They failed at killing Buffy, so they offer their lives instead."

She shook her head, "No."

"What do you mean no?" he asked but Jenny remained silent.

He saw the Master rise from his seat, and pat one of the vampires on the back. "Well done," he said.

"It's unfairŠ" someone whined.

Angel looked over to where he heard the voice, "Darla."

"I wanted a taste. You said that she was going to be my kill."

"You tried and failed," the Master reminded her.

The realization hit Angel, "No. ItŠit can't be. They killed her."

"They did," Jenny confirmed. "You were there to save her from The Three, but now this time you weren't."

Tears formed in his eyes. He slumped against the wall. He put his face in his hands and cried. Finally he was able to gain control over himself. He stood back up and turned to face Jenny. "I won't accept that. She can't be dead. She can handle three vampires. There is no way they could kill her. I have seen her handle more by herself."

"I know you have, but that's because she was stronger. She had more training. Angel, don't you remember? Those three were about to kill her. You saved her life," she told him.

Angel wiped his eyes that were brimming with more tears. "But how? How can she be dead? She doesn't deserve this. She deserves a long happy life."

"You took that away from her. Either way you look at it. When you never existed she was killed at sixteen. When you did exist you left her, and broke her heart. That pretty much killed her on the inside."

"But she has Riley now. She can be happy with him. She doesn't need me in her life anymore."

"Riley's gone. He's not a part of her life anymore." Jenny watched his expression, "Yes, see he meant nothing to her. She didn't love him. However, none of that matters. You never existed here, so Buffy is dead."

"I want toŠ" he trailed off. Could he bring himself to say that he really mattered in this world?

"Do you want to live again?" she asked reading his mind.

His mind raced. Did he want to live? But what if things weren't different? What if his life was better not existing? "How do I know things would be better? How do I know that Buffy will be happy?"

"Well, she'd be alive."

"You said yourself that she is dead inside. Is that going to change?"

"I'm not here to tell you what could happen, I'm here to tell you what would have happened if you weren't around."

"I need to know," he pleaded.

Jenny looked up as if she was getting a message from the heavens. "I can show you." With a wave of her hand he was standing in a kitchen. Jenny was nowhere to be seen. The sun was shining in, he winced but there was no pain. 'Weird.' He thought.

A little girl came running into the room. "Daddy! Daddy!" she called. She ran up to Angel.

He looked around there was no one else. Could she see him? Was she his future daughter?

"I want to show you something." She took his hand with her small one. She couldn't be any more than four years old.

Angel smiled at the gentle touch, immediately he loved this small girl.

"I drew a picture," she announced. She held up her drawing. There's you, and me, and mommy."

He looked at it; "It's beautiful." 'Just like you,' his mind said. This little girl had brown hair like him, and her eyes. They were a shimmering shade of green, like those of, "Buffy." He watched as she walked into the room.

"Mommy! Look at my picture." The girl ran over to her mother.

Buffy was her mother? The girl was their daughter? Their daughterŠhe liked the sound of that. This was to be his future? He looked at Buffy. She only seemed a bit older than she was now. Did this mean that he would have this life in only a few years?

"It's so sweet, Hannah, honey." Buffy said as she admired the girl's work.

Hannah. It was such a pretty name. He loved it.

"Can I hang it on the refrigerator?" Hannah asked.

"You sure can," her mother replied.

Hannah bounded out of the room and into the kitchen.

Buffy smiled at Angel and came over to him.

His voice caught in his throat; finally he managed to say, "She's darling."

"I know," she agreed with him. "I'm still having trouble to believe that she's ours." She ran her hand through her long blond hair. The sun caught the ring on her finger. It was a wedding ring.

'We're married.' He thought. 'She's mine. I-' His thoughts were broken as he felt her hand on his shoulder.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you," he repeated. It had been so long since he had said those words to her. It felt great to be able to say them once again.

Buffy looked at him, "What's with you? You seem extra happy today."

"I'm just happy to be alive and with you."

Her smile brightened. She stood on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on his lips.

He wrapped his arms around her, and leaned down returning the kiss. It grew, becoming passionate. When the need for oxygen became apparent, he released Buffy. A soft moan escaped her lips.

She gave him a devilish look, "You know, it's almost time for Hannah to go to bed." She gave him another kiss. "We could have some alone time." She told him between kisses.

"I don't see a problem with that."

"Hannah!" Buffy called.

"Yes, Mommy?"

"It's time for bed." Buffy put Hannah into her room.

Angel wondered why he was here for so long, but he wasn't planning on arguing, especially when Buffy returned. She kissed him, jumping up and wrapping her arms around his waist. 'Bedroom. Must find our bedroom.' He thought. He carried her up the stairs, and luckily the first room they came to was the one he needed to find. He and Buffy made love for the first time in a long time for Angel.

He watched Buffy as she slept in his arms. She looked so peaceful.

"This isn't too bad? Is it Angel?" Jenny questioned making him jump.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's time for this to end."

"I don't want it to. I want this to stay real."

"It can be real Angel. You have to want to exist though. This all happens, five years after you become human."

"How far off is that?" he inquired.

"I can't tell you that. You can have this. You have to work for it. As easily as it was brought to you. It can also disappear."

They were back in his hotel. "Bring her back. I want her to be beside me."

"You have to do that. I showed you what your future could be like. I think you got a pretty good amount of it. I let you stay with her long enough for you two, to well, well you know. Now it's up to you to make it happen." She paused for a moment; "Do you want to live?"

He closed his eyes remembering Hannah and her drawing. He saw Buffy as her face lighted up. He saw their kisses, and the night of passion he spent with her. He opened his eyes. He didn't need to think anymore, his decision was made. "I want to live. I need to have that future."

Jenny was gone in that instant. Had that all been a dream? He didn't care. He had something that needed to be done.

An hour later he was knocking on Cordelia's door.

She opened it, "Angel," she sounded surprised.

"I need to talk to you." He walked past her. Wesley and Gunn were both there. "Good, I need to speak with all of you."

"This should be good," Cordelia stated as she sat next to Wesley. "What are you waiting for? Get on with it."

He started, "I have been acting like a complete jerk." He held out his hand silencing Cordy before she could comment. "I'm sorry for the way I have been. I shouldn't have fired you. You guys are the best friends I have. You are like a family to me. I don't know what came over me to act like that. Whatever it was, it is gone now. Will you come back to work with me? I miss being a team."

"Of course we will." Cordy answered. "Right."

The two men nodded, "Right."

"Angel?" Wesley questioned. "What changed?"

"Let's just say I had a visit from an old friend." They heard a bell ring.

"What the hell was that?" Wesley asked.

"A bell ringing dumb ass." Cordelia clarified.

"Every time a bell rings an angel gets their wings." Angel said. He looked up; "Good job Jenny."

"He's lost it again." Gunn spoke.

"Get a stake, in case he goes homicidal." Cordelia nodded.

"I'm fine." Angel stopped them.

"What was with that?" Gunn inquired.

"I was justŠnevermind. Don't worry about it."

"So, how about we all go grab a bite to eat." Cordelia suggested.

"You three go. I have something I have to attend to."

"Are you going to stake those two vamps?" Gunn asked.

"I will, but first I have to see an old friend."

"I thought you already did." Cordy said.

"Someone else. I want things to work between us. I have to see her."

"Oh that old friend. I think she's a little more than a friend."

"I hope so. I just I need toŠ" he motioned to the door.

"Go." Cordelia pushed. He was almost out the door when she called; "If you two get pelvic with each other, I'll be forced to stake you."

He shot her a smile; "I'll be good." He closed the door, got in his car, and headed towards Sunnydale.

Part 7

Angel's mind was cluttered with thoughts as he reached Buffy's home in Sunnydale. The only thing that remained clear to him was his need to speak with her.

He turned off the engine, and sat in his car, contemplating what his next move should be. He had given it no thought at all until now. What was he going to say to her?

He slowly got out of the car and headed for her door. 'You can do this,' he encouraged himself. He raised his hand to knock, but stopped himself just before his hand came in contact with the door. He felt something pulling him; he looked up at Buffy's window. The light was on. 'She must be in there.'

He climbed up to her bedroom window like he used to do so long ago. He could see her. She was curled up on her bed facing away from him. 'It's now or never,' he thought. He silently entered her room, not even making a sound.

"What are you doing here?" she asked making him nearly jump out of his skin. "What? Did you think I wouldn't be able to feel that you were near?" She turned to face him. "Well, I can."

He didn't say anything to her. He stood quietly, drinking in her beauty. His mind lost all rationality. The only thing he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked again breaking his thoughts.

"I had to see you," he said.

"Had to see me?" her voice held a coldness to it. He could hear the bitterness in her tone; it was breaking him on the inside.

"I justŠI had to make sure you were alright."

She stood up, "Take a look. I'm fine. Since when do you care?"

"I've always cared," his voice remained soft and gentle against her harsh one. "I can't stand it anymore. I thought it would be better being far from you."

"Better?"

"Easier," he admitted. "But it's not. I need to know that you're safe."

"I am safe. I know how to fend for myself. I don't need you or anyone to protect me. I'm a big girl, Angel."

"I know you are. I can't help it that I feel the need to know that you're okay. Do you know how hard it is, not knowing if you're alive? Not knowing that you're safe? I think about it everyday. I don't know what I would do if I found out that you were dead. I want to be able to prevent that."

"And how are you going to do that?" her tone was softer.

"I have seen what can happen without me in your life. And I don't like the looks of it." He was getting through to her; "I don't want to stay away from you. I can't do it anymore. I want to have you beside me."

"That can't happen. You have said so yourself."

"I was wrong. You were right. I was just too blind to realize that. I never should have made the decision for you on what was best. You can think for yourself. I want you in my life again. I need you. My whole world comes crashing down without you in it."

"So what do you propose we do about it then?"

"Do you want me in your life?" Angel asked fearing that she might crush his fragile feelings.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes, they were filled with tears. "I could never say no to you, Angel, never."

It took all his strength not to take her in his arms right then and there.

She looked at him. "Do you still love me?" she questioned in a meek quivering voice.

He lost control. He had her in his arms, "Always, Buffy. I love you. I can't stop. I don't want to." He took in the scent of her. "I want to have a future with you. I know it can happen, and I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure of it. That is if you'll have meŠ"

She was crying by now, "Of course."

He cupped her face in his hands. "I'm not going to leave you, ever. I don't want to hurt you again. I can't bare the mere thought of it."

"Good, because if you do, I'll stake you," she teased. "Now if I could only get you to kiss me."

He took that as his cue. He bent down and captured her lips in the most fiery kiss that he could muster.

When they broke apart Buffy asked, "I keep thinking that this is a dream, and that I'm going to wake up any moment."

"Well, I reassure you that this is all real." He kissed her again.

"I still can't believe this is happening." A piece of paper on her bed caught her attention. She picked it up, "Funny." She held it out to him. "It's for you."

He opened it and read it aloud, "Dear Angel, thanks for the wings. I can see that you finally gained some sense. Love Jenny."

"Jenny? As in Jenny Calendar?"

He silenced her, "There's more. P.S. As a little gift to you I have seen to it that your soul is permanent. Show that girl in front of you how much she really means to you. Let her make you happy."

"IsŠisŠthatŠfŠfor real?" she stuttered.

"I think so."

"Should we test it out?"

He looked at her. Her expression on her face was uncertain. "This better be real. Jenny does owe me this after the hell she just put me through."

"What?"

"Nevermind." He wrapped his arms around her.

"Dawn's not going to believe this. She's going to be so happy that you're back." She kissed him, pulling him down unto the bed with her. "I've been waiting to say this for the longest time. Make love to me, Angel."

He smiled at her, "I'd love to. I have just one question."

"Hmm?"

"Who's Dawn?"

All Buffy could do was laugh.

"No seriously. Who is she? I don't remember-"

She cut him off by placing her lips on his.

As she lay sleeping in his embrace, it reminded him of his time in the future. 'I can't believe that I didn't want to live. How could I not want Buffy? She's so beautiful. Everything about her is absolutely perfect. Together she and I will work towards me becoming human. We can fight along side each other. Our lives can make a difference in this world.'

All it takes is one person to make a difference.

I think the ending was lame, so please send me feedback so I don't think that I'm the world's worst writer. I'm going to be sending out a new fic hopefully tomorrow, if not then definitely on Friday.

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