What If?

byShannon

Disclaimer: Characters are property of Joss. If I owned them Buffy & Angel would be happily together
Rating: PGish I guess.
Distribution: My site . If you want it take it, and tell me where it's going.
Spoilers: Up to Who Are You for Buffy & somewhere in the middle of The Ring for Angel. Basically it's a What If story about what would have happen if The Ring ended differently.
Authors note: This is my first attempt at fanfic so please be nice. I'm also going to try not to bash Riley too much. For now that is :o)
Feedback: Please, it will make me write faster, and I'll know that what I write is actually kind of good.


Part 1

Buffy and Riley walked into Giles' place. Her friends' sober faces greeted them. Jokingly she asked, "Who died?" Everyone stared at the floor, the ceiling, anywhere but Buffy. The smile disappeared from her face, "Oh God, who died?"

Finally, Giles spoke up, "I just got a call from Cordelia." The realization hit Buffy, as Giles continued. "Angel, well, umm.." He just couldn't get the words out. He took a deep breath looking Buffy straight in the eyes and said, "Angel's dead."

The smile returned to Buffy's face. "Nice joke you guys. That's kind of cruel to say to me. But hey, you definitely fooled me. Those looks on your faces. They are so believable-"

Giles cut her off, "Buffy this is not a joke, I'm serious. I would never joke to you about something like this."

It was if those words had smacked her in the face. Buffy just stood there as if she was in shock. She had suspected that something had possibly happened to Angel, when Giles said Cordelia had called. But she never thought it would be this, this severe. That's why at first she had thought it was a joke. But it was the truth Angel was dead.

Buffy then fell to the floor, in a heap of tears.

Part 2

"Angel's dead." The words echoed in her ears. Buffy didn't want to believe it. How it could be, that he was actually gone? Not just gone, like in L.A., but gone forever. She felt arms wrap around her. She looked up to see Willow there comforting her. Buffy hugged on to Willow for what could have been hours, crying. Finally she was able to pull her self together. She stood up, and joined Xander and Anya on the couch.

Riley sat in a chair, quietly watching his girlfriend. He didn't know what to say, for one he didn't even know whom this Angel person was. He assumed that whoever he was, that he and Buffy must have been close friends. Second of all, Buffy was still angry with him for sleeping with Faith as her. They still hadn't worked everything out, and he didn't want to upset her more by saying the wrong thing. So he just stayed quiet.

Everyone was in silence until Buffy broke it, "Did Cordy say how it happened?"

"Angel was kidnapped, and forced to be in these wrestling matches. You fight till you win so many matches, or until you die. Angel wasn't big on fighting, even though it was against demons. Cordelia and Wesley tried to get him out, but unfortunately they couldn't. In his second fight, he was killed." Giles answered her. "I'm so sorry Buffy."

She sat there, letting the information sink in before saying, "I want to go to L.A."

"Why?" asked Xander. "There's nothing you can do."

"Xander's right, there's nothing you can do for him now. He's finally at rest." Giles said.

"I have my reasons for wanting to go. I also want to see how Cordelia is doing. Please, just let me go."

"If you go, you shouldn't go alone." Willow said to her.

Buffy looked around the room, wondering who would come with her. Giles volunteered, "I'll go."

"Me too" Riley finally spoke from his seat.

"Giles you can come with me, but Riley I don't think this is a good idea for you to come too."

"Buffy, I want to go with you. I want to help you through this. Besides, I have a car that we can go in. Giles' car won't make it to L.A. and back. Buffy, please, I want to do this."

Realizing there was no way she would be able to talk him out of going she agreed to let him come along.

A few hours later, Buffy, Giles, and Riley said goodbye to Willow, Xander, and Anya, got in the car, and started the long silent drive to L.A. It was early morning, the sun would rise soon. Buffy sat in the still dark car, as fresh tears started to fall from her eyes. She curled herself into a ball and eventually cried herself to sleep.

Part 3

They arrived at Angel's Investigations about an hour after sunrise. Buffy wondered if anyone would actually be there. Cordelia would probably still be at home asleep. Still, maybe they would be able to get in. Moving up to the door, Buffy turned the knob. It wasn't even locked, it turned, and the door opened easily. She stepped into the cool dark office. There was a figure bent over the desk in the small room. Muffled sobs came from its direction.

"Cordelia?" Buffy questioned.

The girl looked up, seeing Buffy; she walked over to her and gave the small blond a hug. Pulling away Cordelia asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you were doing." was Buffy's answer. It obviously wasn't the only reason she was here, but Cordy or no one else said anything about it.

"Well then, I'm glad you came."

"So how are you doing?"

"Better then I was. I saw him die Buff; it was the worst sight I ever saw. It was so painful to watch. Angel was like family to me; in fact he was the only family I had now. But he's gone now. I miss him so much." Cordelia stopped her talking. Realizing that Buffy was probably worse off then she was. "Enough about how I'm doing. How are you taking it?"

Buffy stood in silence for a couple of moments contemplating what to say. "I can't believe he's gone. Everything's so unreal. I feel that this is all a horrible nightmare that I will wake-up from. But it's not, I'm never going to wake-up from this. It's real. I know I've lost Angel before, heck I sent him to hell. But then there was still a chance that he would find his way back to me. This time he's gone for good, and there is no way that I can bring him back." Tears started pouring down her face again. "I feel like I've lost part of my soul. I'm trying to keep from dying myself. This is just all too hard. I can't-" Buffy was now sobbing so hard, that she couldn't even form words.

"Buffy it will be alright." Riley said trying to comfort her.

Cordelia finally realized that she and Buffy were not alone. She noticed that Giles was there, but she had no idea who the guy who just spoke was. "Who are you?"

"I'm Riley, Buffy's boyfriend." he replied, holding out his hand for her to shake.

Cordelia didn't shake his hand. In fact she looked angry. "Buffy, I didn't know you had a new boyfriend. Did Angel know about him? How dare you bring him here? Especially after what happened."

Buffy didn't reply she just stood there. Her face was soaked with tears; her eyes were brimming with more. Cordelia immediately regretted what she had said. She walked over to Buffy and put a comforting arm around the girl's shoulders. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little on edge. I didn't mean what I just said. Okay, I did. But we'll talk about it later. How about we go downstairs and have some tea or something? Then we can talk some. Okay?"

Buffy nodded.

Cordelia guided her to the elevator, followed by Giles and Riley. They then went down to Angel's apartment.

Part 4

Entering Angel's apartment Buffy felt as if she had been there before. But she knew that she had never once came down here, so she shook away the feeling. Cordelia went into the kitchen and started to prepare the tea. Buffy felt her stomach grumble, and wondered if there was any edible food. She looked in the fridge, ick blood. In the freezer she found a container of cookie dough fudge mint chip ice cream. Her favorite, for a vampire Angel had good taste. Taking the container she found a spoon and started to eat. The ice cream would be good to drown her sorrows in.

The group had tea in complete silence. No one knew what to say. Buffy looked like she would start to cry again any minute.

Finishing their tea, Buffy decided that she could use some alone time. She hadn't been by herself since Angel died. "Can you guys leave for awhile? I'd like to be alone."

"Buffy, I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Giles, give her a break. Angel just died, and she wants to be alone so she can morn or whatever." Cordelia stepped in.

"Fine. But only for a few hours. Buffy, promise me you won't do anything rash or impulsive."

"Giles, don't worry. I'll be fine."

Cordelia and Giles got up to leave. Riley, who had been silent up until this point said, "Buffy, I know this Angel person was important to you, but I think that maybe you are taking this a little too hard. I mean it's not that bad. You haven't even seen this guy for months. He probably-" "Riley, just go" Buffy was furious over what he just said. How could he be such a jerk, heartless and cruel?

They left, and Buffy was left alone. Taking the container of ice cream, she walked into Angel's bedroom, and lay down on his bed. She ate some of the ice cream, before once again crying herself to sleep.

A few hours later, Buffy was awoken by a knock on the door. Getting out of bed, she went to answer the door. Cordelia and them might be back, and didn't want to come in unless she wanted them to. She opened the door to a blond woman. "Who are you?"

"I'm Kate. Who are you?"

"It's none of your business. What do you want?"

"I'm here to see Angel."

"Why?"

Kate looked at the small girl, wanting to know why she asked so many questions. "I would just like to speak to him. Is he home?"

"Go away." Buffy said, as she started to shut the door.

Kate stopped her, "Where is he? And who are you?"

Buffy gave up. She had once again started to cry. Just the mere mention of Angel brought tears to her eyes.

Kate stepped into the apartment, "Sorry I made you cry." She said in a sarcastic voice. "Where's Angel?"

Buffy just looked at her. Kate wondered what was wrong with her. She was probably involved in one of Angel's cases or something.

"I will ask you one more time. Where Is Angel?"

This time Buffy, answered her. In a quivering voice she said, "A..A..Angel is d..d..dead."

"What?"

"He's dead."

"I heard that. But what do you mean by he's dead? How? When? And who are you anyway?"

Part 5

Buffy answered Kate's questions on how and when Angel died. But she didn't even give Kate the satisfaction of an answer of who she was.

"Okay, that's so terrible that he died," Kate said, pretty close to tears. "But you still haven't answered my other question. Who are you?"

As if on clue, Cordelia, Giles, and Riley arrived back at the apartment. "Buffy we're back." Cordelia greeted her. "How are you do-" She stopped when she saw Kate. "Kate, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see Angel. And Buffy here told me that Angel died, but she won't tell me anything about who she is. At least now I know her name."

Cordelia looked over at Buffy who was standing quietly by the bedroom door. She looked miserable. Cordy walked over to her and gave her a hug. "It's okay. I'm going to help you through this, we all are. I know you miss him. I miss him too. But it'll be all right. You'll see."

"Hello, I miss him too. Doesn't anyone wanna know if I'm going to be all right?" Kate whined. "Who is the girl to be the only one who you think misses Angel so much?"

Cordelia walked over to Kate. In her very Cordelia like way, she said, "You really want to know who she is? Buffy is Angel's lover. Well, at least they were lovers, until they kept getting pelvic with one another, and he kept going grr. But anyway, she's the one girl Angel ever loved in his whole 240 some odd years of life. What? Do you think Angel loved you? Think again missy. You were just a business aquatint, maybe a friend, but nothing more." Not only was she letting Kate know who Buffy really was, but she was also letting Riley know who Angel really was to Buffy. Neither of them look too happy. "I mean come off it. Angel gave up humanity and true happiness so Buffy would live. He loved her more then anything. They were soulmates. You are nothing compared to her. You are just full of your-" Cordelia then clenched her head. She had a vision.

"Cordelia? Are you alright?" Giles questioned.

"Cordelia," Buffy shouted as she made here way to her. "What happened?"

"I had a vision."

"A vision?"

"Yeah, a little gift from Doyle before he died?"

"Doyle, wasn't he Angel's friend? How'd he die?"

"Saving some hybrid demons, but lets not get off topic here. I had a vision remember?"

"What did you see? Who's in danger?" Giles asked.

"No one is in danger. It was just a message from the PTB."

"The PTB? Who are they?" Buffy said confused.

"Oh, the Powers That Be."

"For God's sake. Cordelia, what was the message." Giles wanted her to get to the point.

"It's for Buffy. Since she too is a warrior like Angel, they have decided that she can have like five minutes with him. So they can say goodbye and stuff." Cordelia finally told them.

"I get to talk to Angel?"

"Yeah, you get to see him for only a few minutes remember. This way you two can say goodbye."

"When?"

"Now." said another voice.

Buffy and the rest of the gang turned to see Angel.

Part 6

Buffy ran over to Angel, and threw her arms around him. He pulled her close, thankful to see and touch her again. He leaned down and captured her lips in a passionate kiss. Neither of them cared that they had an audience. They just wanted each other, nothing else mattered. Breaking apart Buffy whispered, "I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"Please, please, Angel, don't go. I can't live without you." The tears began to form in Buffy's eyes.

"I don't have a choice, I'll only be here for a few minutes." Angel too was starting to cry.

"It's not enough time." Those words seemed so familiar to Buffy, as if she had said them before, but she knew she hadn't.

Angel had heard her say those words before, and he knew that once again they didn't have enough time to say goodbye. "I know it's not enough, but we have to make the best of these minutes," he said once again kissing her. "I love you."

"I love you," Buffy answered. "Isn't there anyway you can stay? For us to be together? For you to be with me?"

"I'll always be with you. Just not physically."

"How?"

I'll always be with you here," he said putting his hand over her heart. "I'll never leave you. I'll always be there to guide, protect, and most of all to love you."

"I don't want to forget you."

"You won't. Don't worry, you'll always remember. Promise me you'll never forget."

"I'll never forget, I'll never forget," she repeated.

Taking her in his arms, he gave her one last passionate kiss, before saying, "I have to go now."

"No, don't leave me. I need you. Without you I'm lost."

"I have to go, but I'll always be with you. Will be together again someday. I promise."

"I love you."

"I love you," he said once more before disappearing.

Buffy was crying so hard by now.

Cordelia went over to Buffy, and wrapped her in a hug. "Shh, shh, it's okay."

Giles, Riley, and Kate just stood there. Giles felt so terrible for Buffy. She was like a daughter to him, and to see her in so much pain was like hell to him. Riley on the other hand was enraged with anger. How could Buffy feel those things about another man? How could she kiss Angel like that, when she was his girlfriend? Kate hated this girl. She had really liked Angel. Now she finds out that he was in love with some little schoolgirl. Even though he was dead, she was furious with him.

"There has to be a way to bring him back." Buffy said. "There has to be."

"Buffy, there's no way. I know you don't want to accept this, but you must. It' s the only way you'll be able to go on with your life." Giles told her.

"But I want him back. Can't I go back in time, and stop his death." Buffy said sarcastically.

"The oracles probably wouldn't go for that. Although they did turn back time for Angel, when he wanted to go back to being a vampire so he could protect you." Cordelia absentmindedly said.

"What? What are you talking about?" Buffy questioned.

"You know when Angel became human for like a day, you two got very pelvic, but then he decided that if he was human he couldn't protect you. So he went back to the oracles and begged them to turn back time. They agreed. Angel would be the only one to remember. You would forget about it. Oops." She realized her mistake. Buffy didn't know about that day. The only reason Cordy knew was because Doyle told her after Angel had told him.

"Angel was human?" Giles asked.

"Human? Maybe I missed this, but if he wasn't human all the time, then what was he?" Riley questioned.

"A vampire." Answered Cordelia.

"A vampire. You were in love with a vampire?" Riley questioned Buffy.

"It's none of your business," Buffy snapped. "Okay, tell me the whole story about Angel being human."

Cordelia then proceeded to tell them all she knew about that forgotten day. Buffy listened intently. These oracles might be able to help her, "Take me to the oracles. I want to see them."

"Buffy, it'll do you no good. They wouldn't turn back time for Angel when Doyle died."

"But they might do it. There's always a chance. Right? Besides, Angel was a warrior for them, maybe; just maybe, they'll turn back time. You never know."

"Fine, I'll take you to them. But I can't promise anything."

"Let's go."

"Buffy, what's the point. You are with me now, not him. He obviously didn't want to be with you. Or why else would he leave you?" Riley said rather rudely.

"Good point Riley. Buffy, if you're so important to him, how come he never mentioned you to me?" Kate chimed in.

"And if he was so important to you, how come I've never heard of him?" Riley asked.

"Because, he has nothing to do with you." Buffy snapped. "Cord, let's go."

Both girls hurried out the door, leaving Riley and Kate fuming behind them.

"Lucky me," Giles said when he realized that he was stuck alone with those two. He couldn't wait for them to return.

Part 7

Buffy entered the oracles' realm. She was extremely nervous. This may be her only chance to get Angel back. Hopefully they would help her.

"Welcome," said the female oracle. "What have you brought us?"

Brought them? Cordelia must have left out that little fact. She looked at her bracelet. Riley had given it to her for her birthday. Taking it off she handed it over. Getting Angel back was more important then anything Riley gave her.

"Magnificent," the female said.

"What brings you here?" asked the male oracle.

"You have to bring Angel back by turning back time so I can save him before he dies. I know you can do it. You did it for Angel, when he wanted to go back to being a vampire."

"You're the one he loves," the female replied, "the slayer."

"You come on a matter of love, this does not concern us." the male said.

"Oh yes it does. Angel was a warrior, taken from your cause to help others. He was probably one of the best fighters you had. Bringing him back will be for a greater good." Buffy answered near tears. She was losing her only chance.

"She has a point you know. Angel has saved humanity. They both deserve each other." said the female.

"We must ask the Powers then." the male replied.

Buffy looked at them, her eyes full of hope.

"The Powers will not turn back time." Buffy's face fell. The female continued, "But they have agreed to bring Angel back, as a mortal being. You two must still fight for the greater good, and you must fight together. You two will be the strongest warriors in the world if you fight together. Even though he will be human, Angel will retain his vampire strengths, but he won't have the weaknesses. Like the sun, crosses, or holy water. He will be able to experience true happiness also."

Buffy was so happy. She couldn't be anymore happier. Angel was going to come back to her. Human. "When?" she asked.

"You will know." Was the reply.

"Thank you so much."

" Don't let us down. Now go."

Before she even realized what happened, she was back with Cordelia.

"It didn't work?" Cordelia asked.

"It did."

"What happened? Are they going to turn back time?"

"Better. They are bringing Angel back as a human, but like super strong, like me. And no more curse. He can be happy."

Cordelia hugged Buffy. "This is so great! When will it happen?"

"All that they said, is that I will know. Whatever that means."

"Come on, let's got tell Giles."

"This is the first time in a long time that I have been this happy."

"Well, once Angel gets back I'm sure you'll both be happy. Just try and make sure I'm not around when you two have a very big happy."

"Will do." Buffy replied with a laugh.

Part 8

Buffy and Cordelia arrived back at Angel Investigations.

"You're back. That didn't take very long." Giles greeted them. "And by the looks on your faces, I'd say they agreed to turn back time." Both girls shook their heads. "Then why do you look so happy?"

"You tell him," Cordy said.

"They're bringing Angel back….as a human." Buffy stated.

"But he'll still have his vamp abilities." Cordelia added.

"Well, that sure is good news. When?"

"That's the thing. We don't know. The oracles didn't say how or when, just that I would know. Whatever that means." Buffy replied. "All that matters, though, is that Angel is coming back to me. And the only way for Angel to remain human, is for us to fight together, for us to be together."

"What about Riley?" Giles questioned.

"What about him?" Buffy answered. "Oh…" It had just dawned on her. She was with Riley now. But Angel was going to be hers again. Riley doesn't compare to him. She would just have to tell him it was over. She would always be Angel's. "I guess, I'll have to break up with him."

"Are you going to do it now?" Cordy said.

"The sooner, the better."

The three of them went downstairs, where Riley and Kate were bickering over something or another.

"Hey," Buffy quietly said.

Riley turned to the sound of her voice. "Hey, you're back." He walked over to her, and embraced her. Buffy pulled away. "What? What's the matter? I guess the oracles turned down your request."

"Not exactly." Buffy didn't know how to tell him. She didn't want to break his heart, but she knew what she had to do. "Riley, we need to talk."

"Look. Buffy, I'm sorry about before. How I said Angel didn't mean anything to you. It's just-"

"Riley, this is not about before." Buffy interrupted him. Looking around, she realized that they had an audience. "Perhaps, we should go somewhere more private."

"Buffy, whatever you have to say to me, just say it. Is this about Angel?" Buffy's eyes darted up to him. "It is. Isn't it?" Buffy looked down. "Buffy, I know he means…meant a lot to you, but he's gone. I know you don't want to think about this, but you have to move on. You're my girl now."

"I though you said you'd always be my girl."

They all turned to the voice.

"Angel?" Buffy called.

Angel walked out of the shadows that had surrounded him. He then spoke, saying a line that he had said to Buffy before. "Are you still my girl?"

"Always." Buffy answered before leaping into Angel's arms.

Part 9

Angel picked Buffy up and spun her around before planting warm kisses on her lips. Buffy loved the way the kisses felt, they were so warm. Tender, yet passionate in the way that only he could kiss her. "I've missed you," she said between kisses.

Riley was the one to break their happy reunion. "Excuse me." But they didn't let up. "Excuse me," he said louder.

Buffy and Angel broke apart. She turned to face Riley, still wrapped in Angel's arms. "What?" she asked sweetly.

"What do you think you're doing? You belong to me, not him."

"Think again. I am not just a possession, some object you can put on display. I belong to no one. Especially you." She pulled Angel closer to her. "Listen Riley, it's over. Just leave, don't even bother to say anything back to me. There is no you and me anymore." Looking up into Angel's eyes she said, "Come to think of it, I don't think there ever was a you and me."

"Hey, if this is about what happened with Faith, I said I was sorry."

"Riley, this has nothing to do with that. Besides, I don't think you really know me. If you did, you would have been able to tell that it was Faith and not me."

"That's not fair. I never even met Faith, how was I supposed to know you two had switched bodies?"

"Tara, Willow's new friend could tell. You slept with Faith, Riley. I was able to forgive you, since technically it was my body. But you know what maybe I shouldn't have. Angel would have been able to tell that it wasn't me." She looked into Angel's eyes questionably.

"Of course, I would have known. I could tell that it wasn't the woman I love. I'm glad you were able to switch back, and that this Tara knew you weren't you." Angel told her, kissing her hair.

"Me too, I was stuck in Faith's body, in these clothes that yelled out slut. If they couldn't tell that we had switched bodies, I don't know what I'd have done."

"You could have came here. You know I would be able to tell, I would have helped. All that I'd have to do is look into your eyes, and I'd know it's you."

"Buffy, this is bullshit. Sure he can say this to you, but he wasn't around when it happened. He could easily be lying to you." Riley broke in.

Against her will, Buffy left Angel's arms. But it was for a good cause. She walked over to Riley and punched him.

"Ouch, that hurt."

"Oh please, I barely touched you," she smirked. "Now get out."

"Fine." The looking at Angel he said, "You can have your dirty little whore."

Both Buffy and Angel went after him. Riley ran, but still got pretty beat up by them. Angel threw Riley out the door. "No one talks about you that way. Nobody." Angel said, wrapping his arms around Buffy.

"I never thought that he could be such a jerk."

"You couldn't have known." He comforted her, gently kissing her lips.

"I have a question." Kate spoke up.

The two broke apart reluctantly once more.

"What?" Angel asked.

"How old are you?" she said looking at Buffy. "Twelve?"

"I'm nineteen," said Buffy through clenched teeth.

"Nineteen," Kate repeated. "A little young for you Angel. Don't you think?"

"You don't know what you're talking about. She may be only nineteen, but she is far more mature then you. She doesn't whine about every little thing like you do. She can actually hold her own." Angel snapped. "I think you should leave, before I escort you like I did with Riley."

Without a second glance Kate ran out of the apartment. Cordelia and Giles followed her. They had been quiet the whole time, very unusual for Cordelia. "I think we should leave you two love birds alone. Just don't break the table." Cordy smirked, as the door shut behind her.

"Now. What should we do?" Buffy asked seductively.

"Oh, I can think of a few things," he answered making Buffy chuckle.

Angel leaned down and kissed her passionately. He then proceeded to pick Buffy up, and carry her into the bedroom. Shutting the door behind them. They had some catching up to do.

Part 10

Angel and Buffy laid snuggled in each other's arms. "This is nice."

Angel looked down at Buffy, "I know." He kissed her gently on her forehead.

"I know about the day you were human."

"What? How?"

"Cordy told me."

"Buffy, you know that-"

"Don't try to explain. I understand what you did. At first I was upset because I couldn't remember it. But now we get the chance to do it all over again." Looking up into Angel's eyes she asked, "We'll make it work. Right?"

"We will. I promise." He knew he had told her this before. But this time he vowed to make sure they did make it work. There would be problems ahead, but he loved Buffy too much to let her go again. They would be together. "I love you."

"I love you." She yawned.

"Get some sleep."

"I'm not that tired." She pulled herself on top of Angel, and kissed him. "Not yet, anyway."

The End

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