Disclaimer: Not Joss Whedon et al and not Nik Kershaw So *so* not mine!
Rating: PG
Spoilers: The Prom
Distribution: Just LMK
Author's Notes: Angel's POV Lyrics in Italics Unbeta-ed
Apologies – The Prom is looming! I own any errors in this as I haven't seen the eppy yet! The song is titled 'Anyway' and was never released. It is taken from Nik Kershaw's demo tape

Her tears have soaked through my shirt, my skin damp from their caress. I can feel her body trembling as I hold her tightly in my arms. Maybe I shouldn't have come; I thought I was doing the right thing, giving her this one perfect moment where she could be who she always wanted to be; a normal girl enjoying her prom in the arms of the man she loves. Maybe I made a mistake.

I'm dying, which is a pretty crazy thing as I have been dead for over two hundred years, but it is the truth all the same. I feel as if I am being consumed by a black hole; slowly swallowing up everything that I know, everything that I am. My head is light and my heart is heavy. Have I made a mistake?

When I think about the times we had it, seems a hundred years ago
I can't believe those days have finally gone for good
When you believed in me through good and bad
How were you supposed to know that my soul was lost and my heart was made of wood
So soon we really have to go
I never wanted this; I never wanted this you know

If this is for the best, if this is the right thing, then why does it hurt so much? Why is my every instinct to beg for your forgiveness? If you carry half as much pain as I do then you must be dying too.

I can feel your heart racing, the blood as it pounds through your veins, the love that both invigorates and suffocates me. Your body calls out to me with a million different voices and elicits a million different needs and desires. That is why I have to go. I love you so much; it is not safe for me to be around you. I have to set you free.

And if I knew then what I knew today, I wouldn't make the same mistakes
Will I be wise enough to know when things are right
And if I knew of any other way, if I had a little of what it takes
I'd think enough of us to make it worth the fight

Spike was right about us; we will always be in love. Not a day will go by when I don't think of you and regret doing this; but still I have to go.

The last song fades as the night draws to a close. God this hurts.

And so before you say goodbye
It wasn't meant to hurt, it wasn't meant to make you cry
I know it's not much but hear me say
I didn't want to throw our love away, anyway

I think I've made a mistake.

Send feedback to Shirlz

Back to the Fanfiction Archive