Disclaimer – Not mine (Joss 'Satan' Whedon & SClub7)
Rating – Same as the show
Spoilers – The entire B/A cannon…everything is fair game
Feedback – Yes please
Distribution – Want~Take~Have
Summary – B's POV, lyrics in *, unbetaed
Dedication – NDK

*Everybody's got something, they had to leave behind,
One regret from yesterday, that just seems to grow with time,
There's no use looking back, oh wondering,
How it could be now, oh might have been,
Oh this I know, but still I can't find ways to let you go*

I look at my life now and wonder if I will ever be happy again. I mean, I know you and I had bad times, but you knew me, you loved me. When I was with you I was safe. I never felt as loved and secure as when I was in your arms. All that seems a million years ago.

How did I get so far of the path? What happened to me? Was it you leaving? As hard as I try I just can't pinpoint the moment when Buffy Summers ceased to exist and this annoying facsimile took her place.

I really miss you. I remember telling you once that you were the one freaky thing in my freaky world that made sense; that still holds true, although the edges are blurry. You and I both have this 'whole new life' thing going on, we don't fit in each other's worlds. God I miss you.

*You'll always be the dream that fills my head
You'll always be the one I know I'll never forget,
There's no use looking back oh wondering,
Because love is a strange and funny thing,
No matter how I try, I try I just can't say goodbye*

I can't forget you. Parker, Riley, even Spike, all they are are distractions, not that I've had a relationship with Spike, he just seems to be getting under my skin these days, and not in the irritating way. I find his company preferable to Riley's. Would you be pleased to hear that?

It's at night when my thoughts go to you; then and at times of trouble. My Mom has been sick, and you were the first person I thought of, the first person I wanted to run to. I wanted you to take me in your arms, to hold me, to rock me, to murmur soothing nonsense to me and tell me that everything was ok. But I didn't, because you and I can't go back; can we?

*I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby,
I never found the words to say,
You're the one I think about each day,
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you*

So it's come to this; you don't know what's going on in my life now, and I don't know what's going on in yours. And that hurts. That we could have come to this when once we were so close it was hard to tell where one of us ended and the other began.

I still love you Angel; I'll never stop.

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