Disclaimer: All bow down to Joss et al for they are kings
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Everything but my Buffyverse
Distribution: If you want it, here it is, come and get it! (But please let me know where it is going!!!)
Thanx: DB/SMG/Nik
Dedication: Alicia...she wanted more and she told me EXACTLY how she wanted it. This is for you Sweetie...I hope you like it!

Her perfume invaded his senses, the sweet and heady scent of vanilla and warm summer evenings. He knew what was coming next and sure enough the bed dipped and her warm breath caressed his cool skin. Then the soft kisses and finally the strong but gentle arms that pulled him close.

"Buffy." His voice was soft, barely a whisper.

"Yes my Beloved."

He froze; she had never spoken to him before. Did he dare to turn over?

"Buffy...are you really here?"

"I'm here every night. Did you think that I would leave you alone? I'm here to comfort you until you let go and move on. It will happen, but until then I'll try to ease your pain."

Rage coursed through him and he struggled from her embrace and turned to face her. She didn't disappear but she certainly looked ethereal.

"Move on??? I can never move on. I am destined to love you until I become dust. You are my soulmate. I can never love another. How could you even suggest that?"

Tenderly she traced his jaw line with her index finger. He was so strong and proud and her unbeating heart filled to overflowing with love for him. But there was also sadness.

"Angel, I don't want you to walk through this life alone. You have so much love to give. Don't hold it inside of you. Open your heart and let people get close to you again."

"I don't want to Buffy, I want to be with you. It's only ever been you."

"It's not your time Beloved."

"Damn it Buffy, don't start trying to make decisions for me now! You hated it when I did it to you; if I remember correctly it was a major stumbling block in our relationship. Don't you dare start telling me how I should live my life."

Her hand replaced the index finger and she cupped his cheek. "Shush, calm yourself. We will be together again, but not yet. You still have work to do."

Tears began to trace their way to freedom down his cheeks as he leant into her embrace. "It's so hard Baby. Every day is a struggle and it's a fight I don't want any more. Damn destiny and sacred duty. If it wasn't for them you would still be with me."

"If it wasn't for them we would never have met. We both knew that I wasn't going to make it much past twenty; I was lucky to get that far. If it hadn't been for you I wouldn't have seen my seventeenth birthday."

He blanched. The memories of that night were still painful even after all this time. She saw that and planted a light kiss on his forehead.

"I don't regret any of it. To get to the joy we first had to work through the pain. If it had been handed to us on a plate we would never have appreciated it. You mean everything to me and that is why I want you to let me go until it is time for us to be together again. You have to promise me."

His tears were falling harder now. "I can't do that Buffy. I wish to God that I could but I can't. Don't ask me to do that, please don't ask me to do that. I'll stake myself or take a bath in Holy water but don't ever ask me to let you go."

She sighed. The sound was like a gentle breeze.

"I'm not going to change your mind am I Beloved?"

"Not about letting you go."

"You know that isn't really the issue here. I am you and you are I. I know your thoughts. I know the secrets you keep locked deep in your heart. I know what you are planning to do."

He swallowed hard. "I haven't the strength to do this any more. I want it to end."

"Can we compromise?"

"What???"

"I won't ask you to forget if you don't give up."

"It's not enough. This is so unfair. It wasn't your time."

"Shush Baby, it was. I can't say it was exactly the grand exit I had envisaged but beggars can't be choosers. If you agree then I will still visit you every night. I won't let you be alone. But you have to find the strength to carry on."

"Will it be like this? Will you be this real? Can I touch you, hold you, make love to you?"

She cocked her head to one side as if listening to someone and suddenly a golden couple materialized at the end of the bed.

"You ask for much Warrior, are you prepared to do what she asks in return?"

"To not give up? To continue fighting? To open myself back up to our friends? Yes I will do all that, but I can't forget her or let her go or move on."

The Oracles conversed for a moment and then turned back to them.

"Your requests are granted. Do not question and do not ask for more."

And then they were gone.

He turned to her to find her smiling.

"What?" Her amused expression confused him.

"I was just thinking about how much you've changed Beloved. There was a time when you wouldn't have thought yourself worthy of me and now you are bargaining with the PTB's to keep me."

He reached out and pulled her close. "I happen to think you're worth keeping."

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