Disclaimer – Oh bloody hell…not Joss, not the Human League…not mine!
Rating – PG
Spoilers – the whole she-bang is fair game but it is an AU fic
Distribution – Anyone who wants it can have it…but LMK
Feedback – Would be nice…like Spike & Angelus in leather! Seriously, I don't know if this really works so LMK…but no flames, we may have snow but it isn't that cold!
Summary – OK, I'm on a major angst kick due to the fact I have rampaging toothache, and if I have to be miserable then so do you guys! Anyhow, I have just taken my antibiotics and my painkillers and I am now settled with a huge mug of hot chocolate (with marshmallows!) so I will be kind. This will have minimum angst.
The EOD has happened and as a result Angel has Shanshu-ed. However, Buffy suffered a kind of Post Traumatic Stress and ran away. No one knew how to find her and so Angel settled down to his new life, dating etc but never giving up the hope that she would return. Guess what…SHE HAS!
Please don't hate me…I am opposed to NLI but this fic has wanted to be written since TSILA and I have to do it before I go mad(der than I am!).
Unbetaed and lyrics in * (can't I just cut and paste all this? In the words of Vamp Willow…BORED NOW! lol)
Dedication – The whole of Reigate High Street ~ after all, they are going to suffer the 'effects' of me watching Pangs and IWRY at my Bro's flat tomorrow night {he lives above a shop and has 'kindly agreed' (what he actually said was 'I'll be up the pub so I don't give a sh*t what you do!') to me going there as my digital tv is bolloxed!} God help Reigate!
Phew, that's done…now on with the fic!

It's been three years, three long and lonely years. Three years in which I have sought companionship and solace in the arms of women who aren't her. It didn't work.

*No one else could ever take your place*

And now she is standing there, her arms wrapped round herself, tears tracing their way to freedom down her beautiful face. She is amazing.

*Come on, baby, dry your eyes
Wipe your tears
Never like to see you cry*

I can't believe that I am here, that he is standing there before me, living, breathing, perfect, human. Oh God, I have wasted so much time being away from him. Can he tell about the other men, the men I tried to convince myself were him? Oh God, what have I done?

*So many nights I longed to hold you
So many times I looked and saw your face*

How do I tell her? She is my soul mate and yet I shared myself with others. Will I break her heart? Will she be disgusted with me? Repulsed? Will she refuse to touch me and flee from me? Oh God, what have I done?

*I wouldn't ever try to hurt you
I just needed someone to hold me
To fill the void while you were gone
To fill this space of emptiness*

I open my mouth to speak and so does he, both of us notice the other and stop. This is crazy, one of us has to say something or else we might as well just walk away.

"Angel I…"

I think I know what she is going to say. Somewhere deep inside me I feel relief. It isn't only me who tried to cure the loneliness.

"It doesn't matter Buffy." I hear myself say.

*Won't you please forgive me?*

I cry even harder now, because he is so sweet, so understanding, and because of what I drove him to. I love him so much.

*The tears I cry aren't tears of pain
They're only to hide my guilt and shame
I forgive you now I ask the same of you
While we were apart I was human too*

I pull her into my arms, holding her tightly to me. I feel her reciprocate, our hearts beating in unison. Maybe we had to go through this to prove that what we had was right. None of that matters now, we are together. Never again will we be apart.

*I'm only human
Of flesh and blood I'm made
Human
Born to make mistakes*

Send feedback to Shirlz

Back to the Fanfiction Archive