Disclaimer: All characters are the property of Joss Whedon and associates
Rating: PG 13
Content: Some mild sexual references (not as explicit as WTWTA!!!)
Spoilers: IWRY
Distribution: Anyone who wants it but please LMK
Feedback: Wondering if you guys are bored with me yet?
Summary: Two letters get written but never sent
Dedication: To the shattered hearts gang – you know who you are.

Dear Angel

< Dear Buffy >

I don't know how I found the strength to walk out of your office when every part of me was screaming at me to tell you I remembered. The voices were so loud I'm surprised you didn't hear them.

< I can't believe you forgot, you promised me you wouldn't. How could you just turn and walk out of the office like that, without even saying goodbye? >

Being close to you, even if it never really happened, it reminded me of what we had, and what we still have, only now we carry our love in our hearts.

< Spending that time with you proved to me that our love will never fade, even if we are apart. Even the words you uttered, those cold and seemingly empty ones about time passing and forgetting, they belied the love that burns deep within your soul. >

I stood there looking at you, so handsome even though you were obviously distressed, and all I could think about was you naked, running my hands over your cool flesh, devouring you with my mouth.

< I wanted to throw you onto my desk, rip away your clothes and plunder you. I wanted to be moving inside you. >

You were right to do what you did, I see that now, I understand. We don't belong to ourselves. But that doesn't stop me wanting. It doesn't stop me from loving.

< We can't be together. Do you know how hurtful that is? Because I want nothing more than to fall asleep in your arms, and awake to find you still there. I damn the Kalderash and their ideas of justice. I damn the demon and his 100+ year reign of terror. I damn every last drop of human blood that has ever run down my throat. Yet without these things I would never have met you. >

I have to let you go, because it would be cruel and unfair not to. You have come so far, even I can see that. You are no longer afraid, no longer push people away. You have friends, a family, a purpose. You have stepped out from my shadow and become.

< I owe you so much, and I will never be able to truly thank you. You taught me that I was worthy, that I could give and receive love. You taught me to be. >

A love like ours is a once in a lifetime thing, something that most people never find. I know that never again will I love or be loved like I am when I am with you.

< I'll never forget you because I will always carry you with me. You are a bright flame that burns in my heart. >

Know how much I love you Angel. Know that no one will ever come close.

< I love you Buffy, I always will. >

I'm still your girl

< Always >

Buffy

< Angel >

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