Disclaimer – Not mine…for ownership see Joss W and Dina C
Rating – 15
Spoilers – The whole dang shooting match!
Distribution – If you want just LMK
Feedback – Go on…you know you want to!
Summary – Well looky here…guess who's just come back to the real world!
Unbetaed and lyrics in *
Dedication – All my readers and feedbackers. NDK

Riley's gone. But I can't say that to you. 'Hey Angel, the one with a pulse has left me…you wanna give it another go?' I made you feel worthless and second best as it is, that would really have you running into my arms begging me to stay!

It took him leaving for me to see everything clearly, like having cataracts removed. Before, everything was obscured, fuzzy, out of focus. I made myself believe that what he and I had was special, that he was more of a man than you would ever be. Now I realize that the only person I was fooling was me.

*Lonely, you on my mind
How could I let you go
All that we've been through
I still need you next to me
I said so many things
I did not mean to say
And although we tried to talk
The words, they got in the way
Now that I realize
I need you with me
I've got to find a way to make you see*

Part of me doesn't want to sit here and rationalize everything. It's telling me to just get in the damn car and go. But I can't do that. I need to have my argument ready, and I need to be prepared to listen to yours, to listen to you say that you have moved on and that you don't love, like, or need me any more. I know that is a strong possibility, why on earth would you want a bitch like me?

When I look back over the last year or so of my life, I can't believe what I have become. I'm shallow, self opinionated, self centered, petty, jealous and immature; the list goes on and on.

*Now that I understand
Through all this loneliness
I need no other man
So here I am, I'm still needing you
As you were leaving
I knew I was to blame
But I'm not gonna beg you
To come back and stay*

If you don't accept me or want to listen to me then I'm not going to force you. I know how badly I've hurt you and I'm not going to add to that pain. If you turn me away then I will go because I will deserve it. I guess I'm just hoping that you're still a better person than I am, that you are still saving souls, whoever they belong to and whatever their owner has done.

*I'm still wanting you, needing you
Missing you, feeling you in my dreams
Are you still wanting me, needing me
Missing me, feeling me in your dreams*

Please Angel, don't have given up on me.

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