Rating: You watch BtVS? You can read this!
Spoilers: Zilch. This is MY world Joss and anything goes!!! Timelines are screwed beyond belief!!!
Disclaimer: No-one and nothing here is mine :-< Lyrics in Italics

I'm curled up on my bed, the comforter draped around me. I feel like I could cry except for the fact that I'm all cried out over him. I've got nothing more to give.

A CD of love songs plays softly in the background. Well hey, if I'm going to torture myself I may as well do it properly!

'Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize
Don't patronize me…'

A thousand thoughts go through my mind and still I don't reach a conclusion. I could just pick up the phone..no I couldn't. What would I say? He made it perfectly clear that what we had was over. Final chapter complete. So much for the fairytale happy ending.

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something that it won't…'

It's been a month since he left. I tried to talk to him but I couldn't. It would have sounded like I was begging and that would have made him hate me even more. So I let him walk away with so many things left unsaid.

'I close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you do not feel when you're holding me
Morning will come, and I'll do what's right
Just give me 'til then to give up this fight…'

He walked away without saying goodbye. Maybe that was for the best. I'd probably have made a fool of myself.

'Baby, ain't no use in you trying
If you don't love me
Ain't nothing I can do…'

So, what am I left with? A heart torn to pieces and bleeding. A mind full of nothing but him. And a life not worth living except for one small thing. He was wrong.

Vampires can have children.

******************

Cordelia

I sat at my desk and opened the letter from Buffy. Since I had moved to LA we had deepened our friendship. I enjoyed hearing about Sunnydale and what the gang was up to. Settling back I started to read.

'Cordy

Well, I never thought I'd be baring my soul to you. Goes to show how much we've changed. I trust you and I've got no one else I can turn to. The others just wouldn't understand.

I'm pregnant Cordy. God! Seeing it in black and white makes it all very real. And, before you ask, it's Angel's. I know what he said; vampires can't have children yada yada yada. Well he was wrong.

Promise me you won't say anything to him. I don't want him to know. He doesn't give a damn about me and he sure as hell isn't having any claim on this child. My child.

I know I won't be able to keep it hidden for much longer but until that time comes I am going to keep quiet. I need this time to sort things out. I'm going to be a mother. What kind of child will be born out of a union between a vampire and a slayer? I guess that's one for Giles and his books. I tell you one thing I am damn sure of; I'm having this baby.

Enough of that! I'm nearly in tears here and I don't want to have to explain that to my Mom. Plus, the panda look is so last year…'

"CORDY!"

I dropped the letter with a start. Angel stood in front of me, his arms folded and a slightly annoyed look on his face.

"Oh, um, sorry." I deliberately moved a file on top of the letter and then looked him in the eye. "You wanted something?"

"I wanted that case file" he replied as he tried to pick up the same file that hid the letter.

I thought on my feet. Leaning on the desk, my hand on the file, I stood.

"You go back to your office. I just need to finish something up and then I'll bring it to you."

Angel looked at me, raising one eyebrow quizzically.

"Everything alright?"

"Fine. Fine. Everything's fine." ***Your ex is pregnant. You're the father. You both still love each other but are too stubborn to let the other know. Yeah, it's all fine!***

"Ok then." Angel wasn't convinced but went back to his office anyhow.

As his door closed behind him I let out a long breath. Sitting back down I dug out the letter.

***What am I going to do about you two?***

*********************

Angel

I came out of my office. Cordy's desk was empty. I imagined she was off doing a make-up repair job. That was unless she and Doyle had taken to checking out closets!

Just then the phone rang. I made my way over to it.

"Angel Investigations."

As I spoke the words something on the desk caught my eye. Frowning I picked it up and studied it. An ultrasound picture. What the hell was Cordy doing with an ultrasound picture? I studied it more closely. What I saw made me put down the phone, not caring who was on the other end.

B Summers.

Cordy and Doyle entered the office. When Cordy saw me the conversation stopped dead.

"Oh shit!" she muttered.

I pulled myself together. "Cordelia. My office." My tone made it perfectly clear this was not a request..

.. The door closed behind her. I held the picture level with her eyes. "Explain."

"I can't. I made a promise."

"Ok, we'll go back to that. Do the others know?"

Silence.

"I'll take that as a no. Damn it Cordelia! She's told no one but you? So that means she's going out on patrol every night! Why didn't you tell me???"

More silence.

"Look, I know you've made some kind of promise here but this is serious. Why hasn't she told Giles or somebody? I'd better ring.."

A hand barred my progress. "No."

"This is no time for games Cordy."

She took a deep breath. "Sit down Angel."

"What???"

"Sit down. We need to talk,"

I lowered myself into the chair. "You've got five minutes."

Cordy sat down opposite me, rolled her eyes skyward and muttered 'Sorry Buffy but this is for your own good' under her breath. She seemed to forget that I was able to hear her.

"Well?"

"Buffy wrote to me a month ago. She told me she was pregnant and that I was the only one she could trust. Since then she's been writing to me, sometimes every day. Today was the first time I forgot to hide the letter."

"Why were you hiding them?"

"From you. Buffy didn't want you to know."

"I don't understand this."

"Oh for Christ's sake! Just chill for a sec." She left my office and returned a few moments later. "Now listen. ' He doesn't give a damn about me and he sure as hell isn't having any claim on this child.'"

She sat back and looked at me expectantly. For a moment I was too stunned to speak. Buffy thought I didn't care about her. She couldn't be more wrong.

"Well say something Angel."

"I still don't understand."

"JESUS! Do I have to spell it out to you Angel?!? Buffy is pregnant. She was a virgin until you and her. She isn't the town ho'. Are the pieces beginning to fit?"

I heard what she was saying but my mind rejected it. I couldn't have children.

"Whose is it?"

I saw her twist her hands together and a look of fury crossed her face. "Can you do math? You and her equals Buffy pregnant. It's yours Angel. Buffy is expecting 'your' child. And before you start on the 'I can't have kids trip', you obviously can!"

"I have to go to her. I have to talk.."

"So 'now' you want her! What's changed?"

"She's expecting my baby."

"So? You left her. You wanted her to move on. Is it the baby you want or Buffy?"

Her words hurt me as much as if she'd staked me.

"I love her Cordy. I've never stopped loving her. I miss her so much. I did what I thought was best for her; put aside my wants and needs. I also thought that if we stayed together it would only be a matter of time before Angelus appeared again. God I need her." My voice faltered.

Cordy then surprised me. She came round to my side of the desk and she hugged me.

"She'll probably never forgive me for this but, go to her. If she means that much to you then you have to try. I'm sure you'll be able to sort out the 'Grr' problem if you really want to be together."

I hugged her back and dashed out of the office. I had to make Buffy believe I wanted to be with her, baby or not and I had to leave now.

*******************

Buffy

I was tired, I was irritable and I felt like shit. If this was being pregnant then I wasn't enjoying it. Nearly as much fun as being the Chosen One I laughed to myself.

I was sitting on a tombstone idly swinging the stake that I held in my hand. I'd already dusted three vamps tonight; newbies who didn't know better. I was going to give it another half an hour and then home to bed. Surviving on five hours sleep was proving interesting.

I felt a tingling in the back of my neck. I recognised the feeling and sensed him behind me. I chose to ignore him.

"Buffy."

I pretended I hadn't heard him. Getting up I started to walk away.

"Damn you Buffy! What the hell are you playing at???"

I could feel my temper rising. Spinning round I faced him, my hands on my hips.

"I could ask you the same question. I have a reason to be here, I'm patrolling. You however. Shouldn't you be in LA with all your nice new friends?"

God he was gorgeous! Even now I could feel my body reacting to the sight of him. Any ideas I had that I was getting over him flew right out the window.

"Quit playing games Buffy. I know. I found the ultrasound picture on Cordelia's desk and forcibly dragged the rest of the story out of her."

I silently cursed Cordelia but forgave her at the same time. I knew how 'persuasive' he could be.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I think you've got me confused with someone else, someone who cares!"

This was so hard. I wanted to throw myself into his arms and beg him never to leave me. But I knew he'd say what he had to and then I'd be left to deal with the emotional aftermath. I had to be strong.

"I don't understand you. I thought you knew how I felt about you and understood. I love you Buffy. There's not a second in my unlife that I don't. I sent you my number. Why didn't you call?"

"What for? Why in God's name would I want to do that?"

"Why are you making this so hard? I'm sorry I hurt you. I did what I did because I thought it was for the best. You're having a baby Buffy. Our baby. I want to be there for you both."

I couldn't help it. I laughed.

"You want! YOU WANT! It's always about what 'you' want! You don't want us to be together. You don't want me to contact you unless it's an emergency. Now you want in on my child's life. Guess what Angel? I don't want you and I don't need you. I don't need any of you! I'm getting along fine now and I'll get along fine when the baby's born. So what you want doesn't really come in to it, does it!"

I could see from his eyes that I had hurt him. Part of me wanted to apologise, to take it all back. The rest of me wanted him to hurt as badly as I was.

"Buffy. Someone should be helping you. You shouldn't be patrolling but if you insist on continuing someone should be with you. I admire your strength but you can't do this alone. Please let someone help you."

I could feel myself weakening.

"I love you too Angel but I can't do this. I can't let you back into my life only for you to turn around and walk away again. I can't let myself and this child love and depend on you when I know you won't be here forever. I can't open myself up to that kind of pain."

"I made a mistake. I can't take away the pain I caused you but I want to start making things right. Let me patrol with you if you won't give it up completely. Let me help you."

"I'm tired and I don't feel well. I can't deal with this right now; it's too much. I need to go home and rest. Are you staying in Sunnydale?"

"I was going to stay at the apartment."

"I'm sorry I lashed out at you but you can't expect to just walk back into my life where we left off. I need time to think. I'll come by and see you tomorrow at dusk and we'll talk some more."

"Can I walk you home?"

I thought for a moment. What would it hurt?

"Sure."

We walked side by side. I was the first to break the silence.

"So how are things going at the agency?"

"Good. We've helped quite a few people. Cordy and Doyle are a great help too."

"And you? How have you been?"

"Do you want the lie or the truth?"

"Truth."

"Miserable."

I waited for him to say more. He didn't.

"And?"

"I don't want to put pressure on you."

"I asked for the truth."

"Ok. I realised almost immediately that I had made a mistake but I didn't know how to go about rectifying it. I told you to move on. How could I then come back and say 'Sorry, I made a mistake. I don't want you to move on after all?'"

"I told you. I have no intention of moving on. You spoiled me for other men. There could never be anyone after you."

By now we had reached my house.

"I should go."

I looked up at him and into his eyes. Gently I put my arms round his neck and brought him down to my level. I kissed him softly on the lips. He didn't try and pull away. After a few seconds I let him go. He looked stunned.

"Dusk. Tomorrow. We'll talk."

*************

Angel

I was as nervous as hell. Ok, wrong analogy! Since leaving Buffy at her house I had been running around like a maniac. A trip to a 24-hour grocery store had made sure that I had something other than O Positive in my icebox. I'd tidied up, lit candles and generally tried to cheer the place up. This apartment held a lot of memories for both of us, good and bad.

I couldn't believe she'd kissed me. One moment she was the ice queen and the next..

My train of thought was derailed by a knock at the door. I made my way over to it and opened it. My jaw dropped.

"Hi."

"Hi." I was glad I hadn't tried for a sentence! She looked stunning. I stood back to let her enter. She walked past me and in to the living area. I shut the door and turned to her.

"Sit down and make yourself comfortable. Can I get you anything? I've got juice, soda, ice cream.."

"Angel. Calm down. I don't bite. I'm here because I want to be. Don't try so hard. Relax."

She was touching me again. I didn't want to upset her by pulling away but I couldn't bear to feel her if she was just going to walk away. It was a painful relief when she made the decision for me and let go.

"Are you feeling better today?"

She sat down and gestured for me to do the same.

"I have good and bad days. Depends on the nausea. Today was a good one. Tomorrow? Who knows!"

"Are you sure I can't get you anything?"

"We're only putting off the inevitable. We need to talk and, however painful it is, we need to be honest."

"Do you want to go first coz I guess I put my point of view across last night."

"Ok."

She looked down at her hands and I noticed for the first time that she still wore the Claddagh ring. It nestled on her ring finger, it's heart pointed inwards. She was still my girl!

"I told you last night that I still love you Angel, and I'd really like to believe that you love me too. The thing is, it's not just us anymore. In a few months time I'm going to be a mother. What good am I going to be to this child, our child, if I am an emotional mess? Our child's going to be a target for every whacked out demon and vampire in Sunnydale. I have to be able to protect them. I can't do that if I'm crying my heart out over you. Can you honestly tell me that you're not going to wake up one day and decide that it's all too much for you? Can you tell me that you'll be there for me however hard it gets? More importantly, can you promise that if anything happened to me you could put aside your grief and all thoughts of vengeance to care for our child?"

I moved closer to her, she didn't shy away.

"I can promise you all of that. The time we've been apart has made me do some serious thinking. I want to be a part of your life and I want to be a part of our child's life. But this has to be on your terms."

"No Angel, you're wrong."

"Sorry?"

"You're wrong. This has to be on 'our' terms. If we're going to do this then we have to do it together. It's not about you or I; it's about us and our child. No outside interference. We decide to do this and we back each other up no matter what."

"Are you saying that you're prepared to try?"

"What I'm saying is simple. If you really mean everything you've said then I'm prepared to let you be a part of our lives, if that's what you want."

I could hardly believe my ears.

"Well say something!"

"Thank you."

She smiled at me. "We're going to have our work cut out though."

"How so?"

"We've got just under five months to find a way to make your soul permanent. I do not want to have to fight Angelus in the delivery room."

"I hadn't thought of that."

She slipped her arms round my neck and looked deeply into my eyes.

"Everything will work out fine. There's no backing out now Angel. You're ours and I intend things to remain that way. Now just shut up and kiss me."

My lips met hers and a sense of peace washed over me. I knew this wasn't going to be easy but it was going to work. Nothing was going to stop me being there for my family.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE???"

We broke apart and turned to face who had spoken. In the doorway, hands on hips and a look of incandescent rage across his face stood Xander.

*************

Buffy

"Get your hands off her Dead-Boy!"

"Xander." I warned. "This is nothing to do with you."

"The hell it isn't! I'm your friend."

"Then be my friend and close the door as you leave. I'm here of my own free will. Angel isn't forcing me to do anything."

"Anytime you're around him he's forcing you! You don't know your own mind where he's concerned!"

"What are you doing here?" Angel growled. I could see he was getting agitated so I gently caressed his cheek.

"Wouldn't you like to know!"

"XANDER! Don't you dare speak to Angel like that! Answer the question. What 'are' you doing here?"

"When you didn't show at the library we were concerned. I thought I'd swing by here in case. Lucky I did. Come on Buffy we're leaving."

I couldn't believe this was happening. Angel and I were trying to make a fresh start and in bursts Xander as the all action hero. Luckily he didn't seem to have overheard anything or he wouldn't be this calm. I so didn't need this. I stood and squared up to him.

"No Xander, 'you're' leaving. I thank you for your concern but it is unnecessary. Angel and I are fine. I am your friend and I love you dearly but this is none of your concern. I don't want to rehash old ground with you. Angelus hurt us all badly but Angel isn't Angelus. I know that in your heart you recognise the difference. I need you as a friend but I don't need protecting or rescuing from Angel. What I do need is for you to trust me. I know what I'm doing and I'm ok."

Xander looked as if he'd been slapped.

"Ok I'm going. I don't pretend to understand what's going on here but I'm sure you'll explain it to me. If you need me you know where to find me."

"I do. Thanks."

I waited for the door to close then went over and locked it. Angel wasn't in game face but he didn't look far off it. I moved back to his side and traced his jaw line with my fingers.

"I'm sorry that he treated you like that. I understand his motives but I don't agree with them. This is what I meant. We back each other up."

He took my fingers and gently kissed them.

"Thank you for giving me another chance. I won't let you down."

I kissed him.

"I know you won't. And now I guess we'd better front at the library. Xander's going to be beating a path there as we speak. It would be nice to present our own defence."

"I agree."

"One thing Angel. I know I'm beginning to show but no mention of the baby. Not yet. I'm not ready to become Giles' pet laboratory rat."

"Ok."

"We've just decided to make a go of things. That's all they need to know."

"Agreed."

He put his arm round my shoulder and pulled me close.

"Nothing and no one is going to come between us. We're going to be a family."

I smiled up at him.

"I like the sound of that."

*******************************************

I stood outside the library, Angel's arm protectively around my waist and listened. Xander was holding centre court, Giles was trying to calm him down so he made sense, Willow was confused and Oz was just being Oz.

"You ready?" Angel asked, gently hugging me.

"With you here I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

"Let's do it then."

I pushed open the doors and we entered the brightly lit room.

"Hi guys. Look who I found!"

"See! I told you but you wouldn't believe me." Xander blustered.

"Buffy umm, err Angel. How nice to see you."

"Relax Giles. I gather Xander has already filled you in."

"He said that he had um, bumped into you both. So Angel, are you just visiting or is there something we should be aware of?"

"I'm here to be with Buffy. We've decided to make a go of our relationship."

"Aww, that's so sweet." Willow sighed. She looked around and saw that Xander and Giles looked less than thrilled. "It isn't sweet?"

"Do I need to remind you of the clause in your curse?"

"What he's telling you Buffy is that if you screw Dead-Boy we all end up in a body bag! Oh well, as long as 'you're' happy!"

Willow looked shocked. "How can you be so cruel Xander?"

"Christ! Am I the only one who sees something wrong in all of this???"

Angel and I just stood, his arm still wrapped protectively around me, whilst my Watcher and friends argued over our relationship. Angel was tense but it appeared that holding me was enough to keep the demon in check. I however was amused by the goings on. Giles was getting exasperated with Xander, who carried on regardless and Oz was comforting Willow who was apparently distressed by Xander's passionate but immaterial outburst. I decided to call time on the proceedings.

"ENOUGH ALREADY!"

The room fell silent. I turned to Angel and smiled.

"I think you got their attention," he smiled back.

"Ok."

"Buffy.."

"Shut it Xander!" I threatened. "I've just had to stand here whilst you verbally attack my boyfriend and decimate our relationship so I am not exactly in a warm and fluffy frame of mind right now. Angel and I love each other. We know all the reasons why we shouldn't be together and we have decided that they are not grounds for us to stay apart. But we're not stupid either. Until we find a way to bind Angel's soul without the Angelus clause we will find the strength somehow to behave ourselves. But we are going to be together and you guys can either accept it and be happy for us or you can refuse to accept it and stay angry. Either way, Angel and I are together for the duration. Now Giles, Angel and I are going to patrol. Is there anything we should know or shall we just get out there?"

My question was met with silence.

"I'll take that as a no. We'll be gone then!"

****************************************

Willow

** is Buffy

Buffy was having a happy. When she was with Angel or talked about Angel she had a major happy. But it was more than that. There was something different about her that I couldn't quite place. Angel was different around her too. If it was possible he had become more attentive and protective. I thought that maybe it was their getting back together but still the little voice inside me said that there was something more to it.

..Hi Buffy. How are things?"

"Oh Hi Willow. Things are great. Angel's had to go back to LA for a few days to tie up all the loose ends and I miss him like crazy but things are great. You and Oz?"

"Wonderful. The Dingoes are rehearsing tonight, maybe you and I can do something before patrol."

"There's a large tub of ice cream in the freezer with our names on it! Girlie chat and ice cream at seven tonight ok with you?"

"Great! See you then.."

**..I really wasn't in the mood for this. I was feeling agitated and I didn't know why. Not even speaking to Angel on his cell phone had lessened the feeling. How I was going to keep it together round Willow I didn't know.

Everything had been find until the end of the day. I'd had a study period and had spent it in the library with Giles trying to find a way to bind Angel's curse permanently. We'd had no luck. It was as I was saying my goodbyes that the feeling had hit me but I'd managed to hide it well. The journey home had been uneventful but still things didn't seem right.

The doorbell dragged me back into the real world. Running my fingers through my hair I crossed the room and checked who was there. Seeing Willow I opened the door...**

.."Hi Will. "

"Buffy? Is everything alright?"

She looked awful. Her face was pale and she appeared to be shaking. This was a complete contrast to the Buffy I'd spoken to earlier.

"I'm fine. Come in."

She turned and walked back into the house. Closing the door behind me I followed her.

"I think you should sit down. You don't look…"

I didn't get to finish the sentence as, almost gracefully; Buffy crumpled to the ground.

"BUFFY!!!"

*******************

Angel

I looked around my office. Was there really anything here I wanted to take with me? This was my old life, the one I was leaving behind to be with Buffy and our child. No, I didn't want anything. Let Doyle and Cordelia do with it all as they wanted.

A noise from the outer office brought me out of my daydream. Raised voices. Cordelia and..oh God, no.

"He's busy."

"Surely he's not too busy to see me?"

"Well he is!"

"Look, I haven't seen him for a month so nothing you can…oh, Hi Angel."

I gave her a brief glance, Hi Kate," and then turned to Cordy. "Is Doyle in?"

"Not at the moment. He said he'd be back by nine."

"Damn! I wanted to see him before I left."

"Left? Where are you going now Angel? You've hardly been here this past month."

I gritted my teeth. Kate had her uses but she was a major pain in the arse. She was one feature of my life in LA that I definitely wouldn't miss!

"I'm moving on. I'm handing the agency over to Cordelia and Doyle and I'm out of here."

"You're LEAVING?"

"Ain't she the bright one!" Cordy muttered.

"Yeah. My life is changing. There's things going on which are more important than Angel Investigations. I need to give them my full attention."

"Like what? What could be more important than your business and your friends?" Friends was punctuated with an arm slipping through mine. Cordy made a gagging noise. I not too subtly disentangled myself from her and headed back to my office. Kate followed me.

"So? What's so important?"

"It's none of your business Kate. Thank you for your help, you've been great and maybe you'll be able to work with Cordy and Doyle. But, as far as my connection with Angel Investigations goes, it ends tonight."

"You're just walking away? From this? From us?"

That one hit me between the eyes!

"From what? US??? There is no us. There never has been an us. Where on earth did you get that idea from?"

"Oh come on Angel, don't play games! Let's go to your apartment. I'm sure I can make you forget whatever it is that makes you believe you have to go."

"So you think you can make me forget my pregnant wife."

"YOUR WHAT???"

"My pregnant wife." Well, I wasn't really lying. Buffy was pregnant and the Claddagh ring was an unofficial wedding band.

"When did this happen???"

"Buffy is 22 weeks pregnant."

"Then what have you been doing here? I haven't noticed her around, your apartment lacks the female touch and what the hell kind of name is Buffy?"

"Buffy is a beautiful woman who I love completely. She is smart, strong, and compassionate and she loves me in spite of what I am. In all my years on this planet I have never met anyone like her."

"And what exactly 'are' you?"

I looked her straight in the eye. "A 242 year old vampire with a soul."

She started to give me a slow round of applause.

"Bravo. What a performance. Like I'd believe 'that'."

"I don't really care what you…Cordy???"

She stood in the doorway with tears running silently down her cheeks.

"Willow rang. It's Buffy. She's collapsed."

**********************************

Buffy

I opened my eyes and at once registered that I was not at home. Machines surrounded me; bleeping, clicking and churning out their conclusions on seemingly endless reams of paper. Gingerly I sat up and pushed the covers off me.

"Whoa there young lady. And where d'you think you're going?"

"Home."

The nurse made me lie back down and replaced the covers.

"I don't think so. Not the condition you're in. You're going to be with us for a while."

"What d'you mean? I'm fine."

"You have Pre-eclampsia."

"Pre-what?"

"High blood pressure. Weren't you being monitored at your antenatal classes?"

"I haven't been to any. Who brought me in?"

"A Ms Rosenburg."

"You haven't said anything to her, about me being pregnant?"

"No."

I slumped back into my pillows. "Thank God. I don't want any of them to know. Is Angel here?"

"Angel?"

"Tall, dark haired, pale and brooding. He's my boyfriend."

"I don't know. Would you like me to check?"

"Yes."

"On one condition. You stay exactly where you are. No trying to escape."

"I promise."

It could only have been a matter of seconds later when Angel bowled through the doors, concern etched upon his face. "Buffy!" He took my hand in his and kissed it.

"I'm alright Baby."

"I like that." he said, his lips molding themselves into his trademark lopsided half smile.

"What?"

"You called me Baby."

"Oh THAT." I teased.

"And you've done it again! Changed the subject. We were talking about you."

"I'd much rather talk about you."

"No way Buff. Nice try but not quite good enough. Have they told you what's wrong?"

"Yeah. Pre…Pre…damn! I can't remember."

"Pre-eclampsia."

Angel turned to see who had spoken.

"I'm Dr Kober, Ms Summers physician. And you are?"

"Angel."

"Well Mr Angel.."

"Just Angel."

"Oh, right. Ms Summers has Pre-eclampsia, which is high blood pressure. It's extremely dangerous in pregnancy so we need to keep her here to monitor her and the baby. She needs bed rest to bring her blood pressure down."

"I can't stay here Angel I.." I started.

"Yes you can. I'll take care of it."

"But.."

"No Buff. Nothing's more important than you and our baby. I'll cover."

"We're going to have to tell them Angel."

"I think you guys need some time alone. If you have any questions get one of the nurses to page me."

I was lost in my own little world so Angel answered for both of us. "Thanks." He waited for the door to close and then turned to me.

"You scared me Buffy."

"I'm sorry Angel. One minute I was talking to Willow and the next I was here."

"I'm going to take care of things so you just rest and get well."

"I do love you."

"I love you too. I think that maybe we should fill the others in now don't you?"

"I'm 'so' looking forward to that."

Angel gave me a look.

"Ok, ok. I know. I'm surprised I got away with it as long as I did. I've been waiting for a comment about my weight for weeks now."

"You haven't put on that much."

"And you're very sweet but a terrible liar." I took a deep breath. "Let's get this over with."

"Get what over with Buffy? What's going on?"

"MOM???"

******************************

Joyce

The first thing I noticed was that 'he' was there, sitting close to her and holding her hand. He was supposed to be letting her live a normal life, one which didn't include him. From where I was standing it didn't look like that was happening.

"Mom? I thought you were in LA. What are you doing here?"

"Willow called me. What happened Buffy? Was it.."

"No Mom. Angel, would you go and get the others? I assume they are all here."

"They were Buff." He leant forward and kissed her gently before standing up and moving to the door. "I won't be long."

I waited for him to leave.

"What's he doing here?"

"Don't start! Angel and I love each other. You'll just have to deal."

"Don't use that tone with me."

"Back off Mom!"

Angel and the others came back into the room. He made his way back to Buffy's side and sought out her hand.

"What's all this about Buffster?"

"That's what I'd like to know."

I saw Buffy throw Giles a look. It said both 'help me' and 'forgive me'. I wondered what on earth it was she had to say.

"Angel and I haven't exactly been honest with you all. Yes, Angel and I are back together but there is more to it than that." She looked at him for assurance. He squeezed her hand tenderly and nodded. "Angel and I are going to be parents."

I thought I was going to faint. My little girl was pregnant, and by a vampire.

"Are you sure Buffy?"

"Positive. That's why I'm here. I've got…what was it again Angel?"

"Pre-eclampsia. She's got to stay here, rest and be monitored. I'm taking over patrol."

I moved to her other side.

"Buffy. Pre-eclampsia is serious. Haven't you had any antenatal care?"

"Not really. Giles? Remember that medical friend of yours? The one who fixes us up without asking questions?"

"Yes."

"For a price he'll sideline. I bought my 18 week scan and his silence."

"Oh Buffy! Why didn't you say anything?"

"What could I??? I could hardly go to the clinic and say 'I'm pregnant by my vampiric boyfriend'. This baby is going to be different. It's got a Slayer for a mother and an ensouled vampire for a father. Who knows what qualities it will inherit from us. All Angel and I do know is that together we are going to raise this baby. We're going to love it and care for it. The only problem we do have is that we have just 18 weeks to bind Angel's soul, maybe less. Who's to say what full term is for a pregnancy like mine."

This was all going over my head. Buffy had only had back street medical care and Angel need his soul to be bound.

"I'm not happy about this Buffy."

She turned on me, her voice full of venom. "No Mom, you're never happy about anything you can't control. You told Angel to leave me. However much I love you I'll never forgive you for that. For the pain you put me through. And you Xander. Standing there glaring at us. I can't help the way you feel about me and I can't help that I don't feel the same about you. How many times do we have to go through this? How many times do I have to go through this with you all? You all mean so much to me. Why can't you try and see it my way?"

"Buffy Honey, this isn't doing your blood pressure any good." I was worried at the state she was getting in.

"Your Mom's right." Willow interjected.

Angel sat on the bed and gathered her to him so that her back rested against his chest, his arms encompassing her. Instantly the tension seemed to drain from her. She looked peaceful. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head and then rested his chin there. I was touched by how tenderly he treated her and how much trust she had in him. The love that radiated from them was ethereal. I had been blind!

"I owe you both an apology." Buffy looked at me with surprise but allowed me to continue. "All this time I've been thinking of Angel as Angelus. I wanted to protect you from what I saw as an evil influence. I was wrong. Angel isn't Angelus. I give you both my blessing."

"Thanks Mom. I know how hard that was for you. I don't know how long I've got. I've already outlived the life expectancy of most Slayers. But what I have got I want to spend with my family and friends. Guys?"

Xander was the first to speak.

"You'd better take care of them Angel. If you don't then I'll stake you myself."

"I'd hand you the stake." Angel joked.

Oz, who had remained silent up to now, summed his feelings up in two words. "It's cool."

As each person in the room gave them their support Buffy's smile grew wider. I was happy for them. Giles spoke up.

"I suggest we let Buffy get some rest. Why don't we adjourn to the library and do some research into Angel's curse? Angel; you can join us after patrol if you wish."

"If it's not too close to dawn I will."

Tonight had been a revelation to me. Buffy had a support network of friends who would do everything in their power to help her; a Watcher who looked on her as a daughter and the love of a man who would lay down his life for her if the need arose. And stupidly I had chosen to ignore what was so obvious. Buffy was right; I liked to be in control but not any more.

"Mr Giles?"

"Yes Mrs Summers?"

"Please, it's Joyce. I was just wondering if you could use some more help with the research?"

"Yes we could Joyce. And if I am going to call you that then please call me Giles."

**********************

Buffy

After spending the longest two weeks of my life flat on my back in a hospital bed I had been allowed to come home. Mom had decided that Angel should be around so he was splitting his time between the apartment and our basement. Everyone was working flat out to find a way to erase the happiness clause and Angel was patrolling. I just sat at home growing bigger and more uncomfortable by the day.

I was now a week off my due date and I felt like a beached whale. For 17 weeks I had been unable to train or patrol and I was slowly going out of my mind. I also wasn't happy that Angel was out there taking all the risks with no back up. 'I' was the Slayer and he was the one risking his life.

We'd had no luck with the curse either. Angel was beginning to worry. I'd tried to reassure him but to no avail. I guess it didn't help that I was as concerned as he was.

Giles had arranged for his friend to deliver me. We all realised that I couldn't just turn up at the hospital. The two weeks I'd spent there had been hard enough but luckily nothing had shown up. This pregnancy was becoming damn difficult!

"Are you alright Honey?"

Mom looked at me, her face wearing a troubled expression.

"I'm just thinking. We're running out of time."

"Angel?"

"Yeah. Damn the Kalderash! When they go for vengeance they don't do things by halves."

"Is it really that bad?"

"Worse. What can cause more happiness than the birth of a child? If we don't find a way to bind Angel's soul he's going to leave me."

"LEAVE you? NOW???"

"He has to Mom, he doesn't have a choice. If Angelus comes back it will be a case of kill or be killed. I'm not happy about it but I understand. We were stupid to think we could work it out."

She took me into her arms and stroked my hair. "Hush. I'm sure it'll work out…"

Angel

…I got back to Buffy's house at seven, having spent the day at the apartment going through some books Giles had leant me. Yet again there had been nothing of use in them. The situation was beginning to get desperate.

"Hi Joyce."

"Oh Hi Angel. Any luck?"

"No. Is Buffy ok?"

"She's resting in her room."

"I'll look in and say Hi before I go on patrol…"

Buffy

…I became aware of cool lips on my forehead. The bed dipped under his weight.

"You awake Baby?"

"Mmm." I reached out for him. "Any luck?"

He took me into his arms. "No. I haven't heard from the others so I don't know if they fared any better."

I didn't say anything; what could I say? Instead I just clung to him.

"What about you? How's your day been?"

"Oh I just spent it perfecting my impression of an airship."

"You're a beautiful airship."

"You still can't lie! But I love you for it. D'you feel like going to the Bronze later?"

"You up for it?"

"Angel, I'm bored senseless. I haven't moved from this house in weeks or so it seems. Please can we go? Even if I just sit and drink soda."

I tried the pleading puppy dog eyes routine. It always worked!

"Ok Buffy, we'll go to the Bronze. But you stick with me. And if there's any activity you get the hell out of there and let me deal. Agreed?"

"How can I stick with you and.."

"BUFFY!"

"Ok, I promise…"

Willow

…"Giles?"

"Yes Willow?"

"I think I've found it."

"Sure you have Will."

"Shut it Xander!"

"May I?"

I nodded. Giles looked over my shoulder and studied the information on the screen.

"Well?"

"You're right Willow. I'll ring Angel whilst the rest of you gather together what we need. Time is of the essence…"

Buffy

…I made my way downstairs, wincing at every step. My labour had started about an hour earlier. I noticed Angel on the phone. He looked shell-shocked.

"Angel?"

"Thank..thank you." He put the phone down.

"Angel?" I put my hand on his arm.

"They've found it!"

"Found what?" Realisation dawned. "The spell?"

"Yeah. We have to go over there. Are you ready?"

Another contraction washed over me. I fought to hide it from him. 'NOT NOW! Now is SO not a good time' I thought angrily to myself. This was about Angel. I was going to do this for him.

"Buffy? Are you ok?"

"Heartburn. Shall we go?"

Mom chose that moment to come out of the kitchen.

"What's going on?"

"They've found the spell. Angel and I are on our way to the library."

"Let me grab my purse…"

Joyce

…Buffy leant against the jeep and took a breath.

"Buffy?" I moved to her side.

"It is what you think it is Mom but I don't want you to say a word. Angel has been there for me and supported me. I am going to do this for him."

"How long has it been?"

"An hour and a half max. I'm fine."

By now Angel had made his way round the car to us.

"Everything ok?"

She straightened up and took his arm. "Let's do this…"

Angel

…The library was packed. I was surprised to see Cordelia and Doyle there.

"Guys?"

"Oh Hi Angel, Buffy, Mrs Summers."

"What are you doing here?"

"We came down this morning to help. The more people..well..you know."

"You don't think we'd miss this!" Doyle clapped me on the back.

"I think we should get started." Joyce said. Buffy glared at her and I wondered why.

"Agreed."

Willow and Giles drew out a pentagram in salt and then marked the points with white candles. On the table they laid out herbs and, just in case, crosses, stakes, the crossbow and Holy water.

"Before we go any further," Giles said, "I need to ask all of you except for Buffy and Angel a question. Why are you doing this? Think hard about it. Everything we do must be done for the greater good. Whatever we put into this will come back to us threefold."

"Stop being so Giles and get to the point!" Xander snapped. Giles glared at him.

"If anyone here has any doubts that we should be doing this or if anyone cannot find it in their heart to believe that what we are doing is for the good of Angel then I want them to leave now. There's enough evil on the Hellmouth without us creating more. This is very powerful stuff."

No one moved.

"Joyce? Xander?"

Xander spoke up first.

"I may not have been happy at first but I would have to be blind AND stupid not to see how much they love and care for each other. I hold no resentment towards Angel and I wish him and Buffy a happy life together with their child."

"Surprised much!" Cordy stated.

Buffy moved to him and hugged him. "Thanks." She then turned to Joyce, "Mom?"

"I think Xander said it perfectly…"

Buffy

…Angel was stood in the middle of the pentagram. Willow and Giles had explained that this wasn't a binding spell. The spell would remove Angelus from his body once and for all.

Just as we were positioning ourselves at the points of the pentagram the door to the library opened and in walked Whistler.

"Well, this is turning into a real family reunion."

"Don't be like that Slayer. I had to come and see my boy."

"And you dressed for the occasion!" Cordy muttered. Whistler was his usual flamboyantly mismatched self.

"As much as I'd like to enjoy this touching scene…" Giles started. The fact that he used his 'Ripper' tone was enough to draw everyone's attention back to the task at hand.

As Giles and Willow performed the Protection Ritual I had another contraction. They were getting stronger now and I didn't know how much longer I was going to be able to fight against them so that Angel remained ignorant. I lit my candle and waited, praying to any God that would listen to hurry this along to a successful conclusion…

Giles

…I gave the signal for everyone to use their candles to light those at the corners of the pentagram. Doyle and Whistler stood at the side of the room; alert and ready to step in should the need arise. Willow took up the first part of the incantation.

'I exorcise thee
O creature of Shadow
In the Divine name of Hecate
And I cast out from thee
All impurities and unclean spirits
So mote it be'

Angel fell to his knees in game face. He roared in agony. I quickly took up the second part.

'Blessed be this sacred symbol drawn in salt
In the name of the Goddess Hecate
Let all malignity and hindrance
Be cast forth hencefrom this man
And let all good enter herein
So mote it be'

Angel had stopped roaring and his faced had settled back into his normal human features. Silently he slumped onto his side and lay still. Together, Willow and I began the final part.

'I call Thee, O circle formed in perfect love and perfect trust
That Thou givest protection
A shield against all wickedness and evil
I do bless thee
In the name of Hecate
Goddess of Darkness
Goddess of the Moon
For the good of all, that it harms none
In accordance with the Divine
So mote it be…'

Angel

…I felt different. Although I wasn't human I no longer had a battle for supremacy raging inside me. I pushed myself up into a standing position.

"How do you feel?" Willow asked nervously.

"Good."

"You're not human but the demon is no longer in you."

"How does that work?" Xander enquired. "Surely if there's no demon then Angel should be dead."

"This spell allows him to exist as before without the demon. He retains his vampiric abilities, his memories and knowledge of his time as Angelus but without the overwhelming guilt. He can go out in the sunlight and, most importantly, he can experience as much happiness as he likes."

"No bloodlust?"

"No bloodlust. Real human food."

"Thank you all so much…"

Joyce

…Buffy sank to the floor, her hands balled into fists. I rushed to her.

"Now we worry about you Honey."

Angel hurried over to us. "What's going on?"

"Help me get her into the office."

"Joyce???"

"She's in labour Angel. She has been since long before we left to come here."

Giles joined us. "Why didn't anyone say?"

Angel swept her into his arms and headed for Giles' office.

"I made Mom promise. I wanted to do this for Angel…"

Buffy

…He laid me down on the couch and took my hand.

"Giles. Contact your.."

"Don't Giles. It's too late for that. We're going to have to cope with this alone." A look of horror spread over his face. I found the energy to laugh. "Mom and I will cope…"

Cordelia

…I put my head on the table and wrapped my arms around it so my ears were covered as another scream echoed round the room. "UGH! I am NEVER having kids."

"I don't think Buffy's exactly having a bundle of fun."

"How are you guys getting on with Kate?"

I groaned again. Doyle answered for us. "Avoiding her as much as possible."

"Which is so not easy when she's always hanging around. She still thinks Angel's coming back."

"As if!"

The sound of a baby crying filled the room. A minute or so later Angel came out of the office looking as if he was in a trance.

"Angel?" Whistler questioned.

"Buffy? Is she ok?" That was from Giles.

"I'm..a..Dad."

"Congratulations. Boy or girl?"

"Alesha. Alesha Summers…"

Buffy

…Angel and I were back at Mom's. He sat on the bed cradling Alesha.

"Thank you so much for everything."

"Thank you too Angel. If it wasn't for you we wouldn't have Alesha."

"I don't just mean Alesha. You went through all that pain, kept it to yourself so that you could be there for me. I love you so much for everything you do for me and give to me."

"I love you too Honey. One thing though."

"What's that?"

"You're still going to take me to the Bronze!.."

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