Angel sits silent in front of the mansion's fireplace, from time to time staring off into the sudden feeling of empitness that accompanied the absence of his lover. Without her presence, everything just seemed to be frozen within the immaculate building's walls- including him. Each time the image or sensation of drinking from his beloved would enter his thoughts, he'd smother a cry- a now-warm hand hovering over his mouth; something wild and frightening burgeoned in his heart just from the idea that he'd fed from her.

It was the sudden knocking at the doors that finally tore him away from his brooding. After a bit of a struggle, he pulls himself to his feet, still favoring his left leg, the right seemingly being twisted or torn at the knee. He could feel himself quivering all over, his mind still reeling from the evening's events. As he pulls back the door, his head almost instinctively lowers as his guest offers him a cold, hard, resolute face upon being greeted.

"Hello Hank..."

******

Hank Summers brushes past Angel, hastily making his way into the mansion. Angel takes a step back, slowly closing the door behind him as he turns towards him.

"You're hurt..." Hank observes, a true master of the obvious as he watches Angel limping over to where he stood.

"It's nothing..." Angel softly replies, still averting his eyes from Buffy's father. "I slipped leaving the hospital-"

"Is that so?" Angel suddenly feels very wary of Hank's almost accusing tone, and he fights to control the terrible sinking feeling that was developing in his stomach. "Xander tells things a little differently."

A wave of panic and sheer dread washes over the former vampire upon hearing Hank's revelation. "Xander's filled me in on quite a few things these past few hours," Hank continues, folding his arms across his chest. "And it's a good thing we were both still at the hospital when he did, because after hearing everything, I'm surprised I didn't drop dead right there in the emergency room. But then..." he moves over to where Angel was sitting on the arm of the sofa, "...I suppose you would know all there is to know about *dying*, wouldn't you?"

Angel was taken aback by this bold inference, and he struggles to keep himself calm. "Hank...I-"

"I want you out of my daugher's life- completely and permanently. I don't want you to spend one more moment with Buffy. You're not the type of person I dreamed about her finding. I had someone else- anyone human- in mind."

Angel says the only thing he can, flatly declaring, "I am human-"

"After feeding from my daughter!" Hank's voice echos off of the mansion's towering walls, resonating in Angel's ears. "It's hard enough finding out that my daughter is some sort of freak herself, but I will not have her-"

"Buffy's not a freak!" Angel snaps back, beginning to feel the anger building within. He was already thoroughly upset by the remarks Hank had directed to him, but he wouldn't stand for him insulting Buffy in any way.

"I can make your life a living hell, Angel. Whether you're human now or not- it doesn't change what you are. Just because you've won over Joyce and the others doesn't gain you points as a decent person. Buffy may not see what you really are- but I do." Hank pauses, then adds, "You know, even talking about my daughter being with you in any sense is turning my stomach. So right about now, I think you'd better-"

"I think you'd better leave, Mr. Summers," comes Giles' voice from the doorway. Angel and Hank turn to see the ex-watcher with a stern glint in his eye as he walks over to them. "I can't really see you having any business here with your ridiculous accusations-"

"Accusations?! Are you denying the fact that he's a vampire and has just ravaged my poor daughter to save his own ass?!"

"A vampire?? And I suppose if Xander told you that Willow was a witch or Oz was a werewolf you'd believe that too?" Angel can't help but give Giles a look at the all too true revelations he'd just made, though Hank was never the wiser.

"Don't be ridiculous!"

"Well then- you see my point," Giles sighs.

"No- what I see is my daughter with a strange bite mark on her neck where this..." he throws a pointed stare to Angel, "...this *thing* mauled her! And while you and Joyce encourage it, I won't stand by and watch my daughter being warped by some demon!"

"No...but that's considering you would ever stay around your daughter long enough to take notice of anything important to her in her life," Giles spits out, Hank's stunned face letting him know that he'd finally gotten to him.

"I don't think my relationship with *my* daughter is any concern of yours! Now for the last time, I don't want my daughter around this monster!"

"You sir, are severely trying my patience!" Giles makes a shove at Hank's chest, pushing him slightly away from a stunned Angel. "Angel is no monster!"

"No..." comes an unyielding voice from behind all three of them. "The two of you are..."

Buffy storms in through the mansion's front doors, heading immediately to her father and former watcher. "Get out," she commands in a low, guttural tone. "The both of you get out- now."

Hank smiles and says placatingly, "Buffy, you're just upset. If you would only do what I say, calm down, and think this over rationally, you would realize that I only have your best interests at heart."

"Do what you say?? Since when do I have to do what you say, or what anyone else says for that matter?! I know you've been out of the loop for the past few years when it comes to me and just about everybody else you supposedly *love*, dad, but in case you've forgotten- I'm eighteen!"

"And since when does that mean a parent stops looking out for their child?"

"When a child can no longer respect their parent's opinion!" Buffy answers him back. "And as of this moment, you just proved why I've lost all respect for you! Now get out while you still can," she orders again. "Get out before I throw you out."

"This isn't your home, Buffy," he says reasonably, as if addressing a child having a fit.

"Well, it is now," Giles chimes in, throwing a glance around the boxes holding her things. "Please do leave."

Hank looks at everyone in the room in turn. He had known that his actions wouldn't initially go over well, but he was certain he was doing the right thing for his daughter. He had been gone from her life far too long already. He needed to atone for his absence, and he would do that by ensuring that Buffy did not make this mistake in her life. He was confident that eventually she would see it his way.

"I'm just looking out for my daughter's best interests," he says after a long pause. "I can't let her endanger herself by being around him. I'm just trying to protect you."

"In case you haven't noticed..." Buffy walks over to him, leaning up to stare him directly in the eyes, "I don't need any protecting- from anyone, least of all Angel. Now get out before you need some protecting of your own."

Looking intently at Angel for a final time, he turns and makes his departure back to his hotel, leaving Giles to fend for himself. "Buffy..."

"Just don't, Giles- okay," the slayer holds up a hand to stop him from continuing. "Not tonight. Just...get out."

"I understand and respect your wishes, Buffy," Giles calmly begins before taking off his jacket. "But I'm not leaving here until I've examined Angel.

"Ex..." The initial sound was the only one Giles and Buffy had heard Angel make since they'd arrived at the mansion. "Examined?"

"I'd like to take a look at your leg, among other things. See how your body is reacting to...being human again..."

Giles looks over to Buffy as if checking for permission. Receiving only a blank stare as a response, he slips an arm underneath Angel's shoulders, trying to lead him upstairs to tend to him. Seeing him struggling, Buffy races over, making a move to support him from the other side, but finds her attempts being brushed off once more.

"What are you..." Angel breathes out, tossing a sideglance to her, looking up at him with wide, hopeful eyes. "Buffy- what are you doing? Why did you come here? I told you to go home." Taking hold of his gaze with her resolute face, she places a hand over his heart, surprised that he doesn't immediately pull back from her.

"I *am* home..."

******

"Why are you doing this?"

Giles eyes shoot up as he hears Angel's faint whisper. As he places another layer of bandaging around his knee, Giles offers him the only response that comes to mind. "Because I want to." Another few minutes of awkward silence linger between the two until Giles speaks again. "You'll have to stay off of this for a week or two...take things easy."

The two sit in heavy silence for the duration of Giles' examination, the librarian's occassional 'hmms' being the only sounds radiating through Angel's room. "Take this..." Giles hands over a single white pill to him, along with a glass of water. "It'll help with the pain. Help you get to sleep."

"It doesn't...hurt as much as it was," Angel remarks, absentmindedly wondering just why it didn't. "I am tired though."

"Well...just one more stitch, and...there." Giles sits back, reaching around to grab a nearby mirror to allow Angel to give his work on his forehead a quick once over.

Letting out a small laugh, Angel averts his eyes from having to stare into the mirrored glass that would now bear his own reflection. Instead, he leans back, sinking into the pillows and sheets. "You know, it's funny..."

"What's that?"

"All these years...not being able to see myself...my reflection. Now that I can...I can't stand the sight of it."

******

The sound of medical tape being wrapped jars Buffy from the few moments of sleep she'd been able to grab hold of while waiting downstairs as requested by both Giles and Angel. Though she was at first hurt and distraught by Angel's plea with her not to come upstairs with them, she was at least glad that he hadn't asked her to leave altogether.

"He's, umm..." she picks up on the englishman's voice as he makes his descent down the stairway. "He's all finished. I put a few stiches in his forehead and taped up his knee. He should try to stay off of it until it fully heals...which, if my theory holds true, shouldn't take too long."

"Theory? What theory- oh no, wait...maybe you'd like a week's time before you decide to fill me in on it," Buffy can't help but offer him her sharp response, noticing as his eyes nervously avert her angry glare.

"At the hospital, your doctor told me that Angel became so upset at seeing you in your condition that he broke off a piece of a door with a single swipe. He also told me about him tossing one of their staff almost twenty feet through the air- after he was...attacked by...Xander."

"Point being?"

"I think it's safe to assume that along with the life that your blood gave Angel, it also fed him your strength and abilities. Of course, he's not a slayer, and this is all in theory, but still...he'll be human and still be able to fight without much fear of being hurt. The next few days will be hard on him...physically and mentally. He's still...adjusting. But he should be just fine in due time." He moves over to where his jacket was laying over the sofa, gently lifting it into his arms. "I, uh...assume you'll be staying the night?"

"Giles...I live here now."

"Oh. Well, I mean...I didn't think you'd...I didn't think he'd still..." Giles decides to put his ramblings to rest, anxious to return home to salvage a few hours of sleep from the tiring day. "You'll be alright with him? Ta- taking care of him, I mean?"

"What do you think?" Turning on her heel without even saying goodbye, Buffy leaves Giles standing in the hall as she quickly jogs up the stairs, down the familiar hall to the master bedroom.

His soft breathing was a welcomed new sound escaping the darkness of the room. Taking a deep sigh, Buffy crosses the floor over to the bed, sitting down softly beside her sleeping lover. She stands there looking at him, caught in a trance, almost wishing her body wasn't demanding sleep just so she could stay awake watching him. She eventually drifts back to reality, shedding her clothes and reaching into the bureau, extracting a black silk shirt of Angel's that she'd long since made her own.

Careful not to wake him, she eases under the sheets, maneuvering herself so that she was curled up against Angel's chest, feeling her own heart skip a few beats upon hearing his own steady rhythm. She holds him tightly, her shapely form enveloping him into a warm embrace, clutching him so fervently that her breasts were flattened out against his chest. And then, just as her eyelids begin to droop closed, she hears him faintly murmur her name in his sleep, reaching a hand around to tug at her waist, pulling her even closer.

"I love you..." she whispers against his skin. Her final thought before succumbing to sleep rested on the hope that in the morning, he would be able to offer her his own matching response.

******

Angel was surprised, though somewhat appreciative, to feel a few fragments of sunlight dancing across his face the next morning. With a low moan, laying on his left side, he opens an eye to see that Giles must've left the curtains open when he'd finished examining him last night. He lays still for a moment, his eyes trying to fully adjust to a brightness they hadn't experienced in ages. Rubbing his face with his bare arm, he finally allows his eyes to travel down the sheets, staring with surprising slowness at the warm body clinging to his own.

Her arms and legs wrapped around him as if to prevent him from making an escape, Buffy was resting peacefully in his arms, a small smile across her lips. Unable to resist the impulse, Angel runs his fingers through her hair, sighing down at her sleeping form as he wraps his arms around her and snuggles down into the covers with her. Resting his head ontop of her own, his lips reach down to press a gentle kiss against her hair.

"Angel...?" Immediately feeling him stir, Buffy's eyes slowly open as she lifts her head up to face him. "Hi..."

"Hi..." he whispers back, unsure of what to say next.

"What's wrong?" Buffy asks, leaning up on her elbow. Getting no further response, she tries another approach and leans over to kiss him.

"Don't..." he holds her back at arm's length preventing any embrace. He sits up, swinging his legs over his side of the bed, turning his back to her.

"Angel- you're not going to do this," she states, sliding over to him, wrapping an arm around his bare waist to pull herself completely to him. "I'm not going to *let* you do this," she says against his back, feeling him wince in response. "Not after everything that's happened-"

"After everything that's happened..." his voice drops to an almost inaudible whisper, "...you shouldn't even be around me."

Before she can respond, he turns his head to look back at her, opening his mouth as if to say something else, but hesitates. "I..."

"You what?"

"I...I'm leaving."

The two words leave Buffy's face numb and pale from shock and she can barely breathe as she pulls away from him. Forcing herself to take some sort of control, she moves to sit beside him, grabbing his shoulders, turning him to her. "What do you mean you're leaving? You're leaving Sunnydale? You're leaving me?"

"I already did..." Confused by his not uncommon crypticness, she passes him a teary stare. "Buffy- whatever you saw in me that held any goodness at all, left me last night-"

"I'm not going to listen to this!" she gasps, standing from the bed to approach him more forcefully. "You didn't *drink* from me-" she says sharply, "I *fed* you my blood to save your life...to turn you human..." her last few words barely escape her sobs as she begins pacing in front of him. "You're just going to give up? Give up on me...on us? I don't accept that!"

"You have to. Buffy, what your father said-"

"Was all a lie! Almost everything he's ever told me was a lie and his little speech earlier was no exception. Can you honestly tell me that you believe anything he said?"

It was at that moment that Angel's emotions began to waver out of control. He chokes down the sob that was threatening to escape, shutting his eyes tightly without answering her.

"Well?" Buffy asks, her tone sharp, teetering between anger and frustration. Angel finally looks up at her. "You don't deserve this."

"You're right- I don't deserve to constantly be told by just about everyone, including the man that I love more than life itself, what's good for me! I don't understand how you can even act like this-"

"Because I'm scared!" he cries angrily, Buffy seeing the tears in the corners of his eyes. "Because I can't control myself around you, and I still wonder if I hadn't been sick whether I still would've eventually drank from you!"

"Angel- you've never hurt me. It's impossible for you to hurt me-"

"You don't know that! I mean- just because I'm human now...god...sometimes it's so hard to be around you because it's just too intense, and..." He stops there, not sure of what he saw in her face. He wasn't sure he wanted to know- but it wiped away any anger he was feeling. A stricken look replaces it. "I was always afraid when we were together. Afraid that...that the demon would take over- just like it did last night."

Buffy takes her seat back beside him, touching her hand lightly to his shoulder, relieved when he leans slightly into her touch. "I know you. I know and love every part of you. Even if the prophecy wouldn't have made you human, I would've let you drain me to save your life."

"But that doesn't change the fact that I-"

"That doesn't change the fact that I knocked you out to *force* you to live...for me. Angel...if you would've died last night, I wouldn't have been able to live. This bond between us...I feel everything that you do. The same fears, the same pain, the same intensity when you and I are together. And when we're apart...it just hurts so much. It's physically painful...and regardless of anything else...the only thing in my entire life that I'll ever be certain of is us. That's the only truth I have to hold onto."

His resolve broken, his uncertainties beginning to fade, he feels himself relax in her arms as the slayer pulls him to her tightly. "I love you..." he whispers against her temple.

"I love you," she locks eyes with him. "Nothing can ever change that," she whispers, reaching up to kiss him, deeply and lingeringly. As the kiss escalates, Angel feels Buffy's arms give his own a slight tug, as she pulls him back down onto the bed on top of her. Reaching a hand up behind his head, Buffy breaks their kiss, arching her neck slightly to give him access to her neck. He buries his nose against the curve of her throat, his mouth traveling along her skin until he feels his lips brush over her scar. He flinches away suddenly, his momentary solace quickly fading.

"Angel..." Buffy tries pulling him to her again, but finds her efforts being interrupted by the doorbell's chime floating up the stairs. "Uggh...never fails..."

"I'll get it-"

"Oh no you don't." She crawls out of bed, pushing him back to lay down. "You're staying right here- we're not done discussing this yet."

Muttering to herself, wondering who could've been paying them a visit so damn early, the slayer soon finds the answer to be one she wasn't ready to, nor wanted to deal with.

"Well...if it's not one backstabber, it's another," she observes as she pulls back the door fully to reveal Cordelia, Willow, Oz, and a returning Giles staring at her with hopeful gazes.

"We didn't wake you...did we?" Willow meekly speaks up, her eyes trailing over Buffy's shoulder to catch a glimpse of the inside.

"No- but you just started my day out on a sour note," Buffy snaps back, anxious to return upstairs. "If you don't mind, we've got a busy day, and I don't need this right now-"

"But we do," Giles speaks up for the three, stepping past them to approach his former slayer. "You wouldn't talk to me last night, so I'm asking you now- give us ten minutes. That's all we ask."

Sensing there was no other way to get them to leave, Buffy steps aside, letting them into the mansion. She makes a motion for them to have a seat on the sofa, taking her own spot on the armchair across from them. "Where's Judas number five?" she asks, her question mostly directed to Cordelia. "Out having drinks with my father- plotting how to get rid of Angel?"

"I wouldn't know," the brunette answers her back calmly. "I broke up with him last night."

"Is this the part where I'm supposed to instantly forgive you because you've dumped the guy who attacked my boyfriend in the hospital?"

"No..." Cordy shakes her head softly, then looks up directly at Buffy. "This is the part where you start to realize how sorry we all are and just how much we care about you. The both of you," she lifts her eyes to the stairway, wondering to herself how Angel was fairing.

"How is Angel?" Oz breaks his semi-permanent silence, slinging an arm around Willow's shoulders.

"Getting better." Buffy looks over to the antique clock standing against the wall. "You're down to eight minutes."

"I don't think we need to tell you just how sorry we are about not telling you sooner about Angel," Giles says.

"No- cause that would've made sense, and god forbid any of you ever decide to use your common sense," a still brassed-off Buffy responds.

"We understand how serious the matter was-" Giles tries again, only further infuriating the young girl whom he respected more than anyone...the one he'd looked upon as his own daughter.

"You understand nothing. Angel could've died! Do you understand that?! It's bad enough that my own father could be so cruel, but for all of you to have done something like this..." Her emotions betray her as her voice drops to a whisper. "I never would've expected that from any of you. Not from people who are supposed to be my friends."

"That's our point," Cordy chimes in. "It's because we *are* your friends, and we care so much about you that we did what we did."

"You call what Xander did being a friend? Attacking Angel? Trying to tell my father about everything?"

"No- what Xander did was be Xander," the brunette answers.

"In other words," Oz adds, "what he does best. The only thing he knows how to do without screwing it up."

"What we did- or rather, what we tried to do, was keep you from getting more upset than was necessary," says Giles. "The last thing any of us would ever want to do is hurt you, Buffy." He leans forward, trying to get her to realize the detail she seemed to be overlooking. "You have to know that- you have to know how much you mean to all of us. How much love and respect we have for you."

"Buffy," Willow's voice grabs her attention, "we did what we thought was right. We didn't want to upset you- we only wanted to protect you. Do what was best for you."

"No one bothered to ask me what was best for me."

"And we can't apologize enough for it," Willow responds. "All we can do is plead temporary insanity and hope we can find a way to put this behind us."

Buffy hesitates, mulling over all that had been said, before giving them any indication of a response. As she stares off towards the doors, Willow senses her doubts and raises her head, her voice on the verge of breaking as she makes a final plea. "I don't wanna lose my best friend because of my own stupidity and carelessness. You're my family, Buffy. All of us...we're each other's family..."

In all the time they'd been friends, Buffy had never heard Willow speak so fervently and with such desperation. Leaning forward in her chair, the delicate features of her face hovering between mixed emotions, Buffy can't help but let her thoughts drift back to yesterday afternoon, the words of Willow's speech playing over in her mind. < One thing that I am sure of is what matters most to me in my life...my friends. > For a moment, she wonders whether WIllow had written the speech as a deliberate pre-apology to her.

After all that had passed, all that she knew laid ahead for them, it wasn't worth losing the rest of her family over. Though Xander had all but officially been driven out of her heart, she couldn't deny the sense of peace and trust slowly melting away any remnants of anger and resentment that had been built up in her since yesterday afternoon. < Make it a goal to discover what really matters in life. > And at that moment, what mattered most to her was the family inside the mansion.

A lopsided smile sneaks out from the corners of Buffy's mouth before she finally gives a response. "Only *temporary* insanity?" Releasing the breath she'd been holding since arriving on Crawford Street, Willow rushes over to her, diving on the slayer with a huge hug. "I'm sorry."

"I know, Will," Buffy says, giving her an extra squeeze. Looking over the redhead's shoulder, she smiles at the others. "You three plan on joining us here anytime soon?"

******

Buffy had been looking through her magazine- not reading it but thumbing idly through it, glancing every now and then at a picture while she waited for Willow and Cordelia to meet her at the Espresso Pump a week later. After looking up every so often, she finally spots the redhead jogging over to her, a huge smile plastered across her face.

"Sorry I'm late," she grins, taking her seat across from her. "I had to help Oz, uh...find his...guitar pick," she gives her best friend a playful smile, wondering whether the rest of the Dingos would be upset seeing her boyfriend stoll into band practice fifteen minutes late.

"Uh-huh...and I'm guessing it was a very thorough search," the slayer giggles back over to her, setting her magazine off to the side. "Where's Cordy?"

"Oh...she didn't feel up to coming."

"She's okay, isn't she?"

"Aside from the whole 'breaking up with Xander thing', she's fine. It's funny- I never thought she cared so much about him." Willow notices that Buffy wasn't paying much attention to her after hearing Xander's name pop up and she passes her a lopsided grin. "Has...has Xander...called you?"

Seeing her simply roll her eyes, Willow decides to quickly change subjects to one she was sure Buffy would enjoy. "Didn't you bring Angel with you? I mean, seeing as how he's got the whole 'walking in the sunlight' thingy going on, I would've thought I'd be seeing you two dancing through the streets by now."

"He's home...working out. I think he said Giles would be coming over to help him train."

"Didn't you guys all train together last night?"

"And the night before, and the night before that, and the night before that. It's ridiculous, Will! That's all he does. He wouldn't even come over to mom's for any of the ten times she's invited us over for a meal. In the five days he's been human, he's spent exactly one hour outside in the sun- and even that was spent swimming."

"Oh- that reminds me...you've definitely gotta throw a pool party." Willow succeeds in gaining a small grin from her friend, but still senses something else wrong. "I don't get it- why doesn't Angel want to go out?"

"Well I'd ask him, for the *millionth* time, but all I get for an answer is 'I'm fine'. Either 'I'm fine' or 'I'm adjusting'. That's about all he says to me anymore."

There was no question in Buffy's mind that Angel hadn't been the same since graduation night. Whenever she'd try to get him to finish their discussion, he'd become distant, shutting himself down to the point where he'd barely mutter five words to her in a single day. He hadn't become cold or mean, just distant. He was less interested in going out, in seeing people, or the sunlight he'd been banished from for so long. He'd brushed off Joyce's invites to dinner and even declined both her offer to work at the gallery and Giles' offer to train him as a Watcher.

There was no big personality change in him...but he wasn't the same. He'd go to bed only after Buffy would, and would always sneak away downstairs once he'd been sure she was asleep. WIthout his knowing, Buffy had snuck down after him most times, only to find him sitting on the floor beside the fireplace, reaching a hand in, allowing his fingers to trail over the dancing flames for a moment or two.

"Okay- I'm confused...I thought you had talked him out of feeling any guilt? Are you two fighting?"

"No...I don't know..." Buffy lets out a deep sigh. Leaning her head off to the side, brushing her forehead with her hand, she makes a final confession to her best friend. "He won't touch me..."

Buffy looks up to see Willow staring at her with a baffled look. After a long silence, the wiccan finally barks a bewildered little laugh at the very notion. "You know, making jokes isn't going to make this easier to discuss," she smiles, looking at her steadily until finally realizing the slayer was serious. "Oh...you're not...joking, are you? I'm sorry Buffy- it's just...you two can't go like, a minute without some sort of touching involved."

"I think he's touched Giles more during their sparring lessons than he's touched me all week. Sometimes...sometimes I'll catch him looking at me, and I'll think for a minute that he looks like he's going to come over to me, but then he just turns away."

"Have you thought about asking Giles to talk to him? Maybe he'd open up to someone else. Hey- him and Oz are pretty close. I could tell him to stop by the mansion after practice if you want."

"Giles tries talking to him everyday when they train, but he just blows him off too. God...I could just fatally maim my dad and Xander for what they did!"

"You think that's what's got him?"

"Among his own esteem problems, yeah. I mean, him and Xander were actually pretty good friends. I think to see him react the way he did really threw him off. And my dad...what he told him about him being a danger to me didn't help much. I think I'm ready to take up my mom's offer to put a hit out on him. Did you know it only costs
400?" In an instant, Buffy sees Willow pass her a raised eyebrow, unable to contain her gasp. "What?? Mom knows some guys, that's all!"

"Well...aside from hiring your own private mafia, why don't we try cheering Angel up in the traditional way. Maybe perk up Cordy too. Bronze it tonight?"

"If I can get him to go," Buffy shrugs.

"If you can't convince him, we'll just all have to drag him out," the redhead smiles. "I can be pretty big and mean when I wanna be...until someone bigger and meaner comes along and tells me to stop."

******

Your construction
Smells of corruption
I manipulate to recreate
This air to ground saga
Gotta launder my karma

With the jagged dance music blaring throughout the Bronze, Angel was beginning to regret finally giving into Buffy's pleas and pouts to party with the others tonight. "It's loud..." he casually remarks, falling behind in his pace alongside her.

"You'll live, trust me," she laughs, grabbing his reluctant hand, pulling him to her side. "It'll do you good to finally get out."

"Mmm..."

"And..." she pulls him to a stop among the crowd to face him, "maybe tomorrow morning...we can go out for breakfast?"

"Don't you like to sleep in on weekends?" he responds, going to sit down at what he recognized as the Scoobs' usual table.

"Okay then- lunch?" Seeing that he was now ignoring her, paying more attention to the lights beaming down from the ceiling than to her, Buffy can only roll her eyes, not wanting to make things worse by pushing him. Taking her own seat beside him, she catches a glimpse of the others approaching with drinks.

"Angel- you came!" Willow cheers, giving him a friendly pat on the back.

"Hi Willow..." He throws a half-smile to his silent counterpart Oz before moving his own chair over to make room for them.

"Where's Cordelia?" Buffy asks.

"She's here...she just went to the bathroom," Willow replies.

"Meaning we won't see her for a good hour," Oz adds, hoping to share his usual chuckle with Angel, but is surprised to barely receive any response.

I'm blown to the maxim
Two hemispheres battlin'
I'm blown to the maxim
Two hemispheres battlin'
Suckin' up, one last breath
Take a drag off of death

"Oh...my...god..."

The four friends turn in their seats at Cordelia's startled gasp, watching with confused stares as she hurries over to their table, stumbling to her seat. "I can't believe I wasted two years on that worthless...no good...I mean- who does he think he is?!"

"I assume you're talking about Xander?" Willow speaks up for the group.

"Who else?! You won't believe who that scumsucker brought here tonight!" Stretching out an arm to point past them towards the dancefloor, the hurt brunette draws their attention to the sight of Xander with his arms all over another familiar brunette.

"Anya!" Buffy almost shouts, though it was barely a hushed cry over the music and crowd.

Got a revolution behind my eyes
We got to get up and organize
Got a revolution behind my eyes
We got to get up and organize
Got a revolution behind my eyes
We got to get up and organize
You want a revolution behind your eyes
We got to get up and organize

"A demon!" Cordelia turns back around in her seat, resting her elbows on the table. "He's got his awkward paws all over some demon!!"

"Actually, *ex*-demon," Oz corrects her.

"Whatever! But after everything she did, to *all* of us, he's got the nerve to be going out with her?!"

"What do you expect?" Buffy replies. "The obnoxious attract the obnoxious."

"Oh- it is *sooo* over now! For a minute, I was considering thinking about possibly letting him apologize to me...and everyone else, and I just might've taken him back on his hands and knees, but now- oh...I'm just beside myself." She hastily tosses her purse onto the table, not really caring at the moment if it got scratched, and takes a long, deep breath over the new song that comes on over the speakers.

Now can I make this crystal clear
There's still a world without you here
How can I make this crystal clear?

Now can I make this crystal clear
There's still a world without you here
How can I make this crystal clear?

"If I was a member of his family, I'd need a drink right about now!"

"How about a Coke instead?" Willow offers her.

Trying to take her mind off of the still-sore subject of Xander Harris, Buffy turns her attentions to her strangely quiet boyfriend. His eyes were combing over the catwalk above when normally they would've been combing over her. Reaching over with a tentative hand, her fingers curl around his wrist as she offers him a warm smile. "You wanna dance?"

"I'm fine..." he whispers back, seeing her face drop even further at his dismissal.

"Funny..." comes a familiar voice from behind, "...I didn't even know vampires *could* dance."

Buffy watches with an annoyed glare as Xander makes his way around to face the group. "You lost, Harris?"

I'm giving you the gift of a second chance
So use it for the first time wisely done
Your way out of the war of words that's raging
All around the globe in conversation
I'm giving the gift of the double bluff
Forever laying lowly high enough
I'm tired of treading cautiously
I'll walk the path prepared for me

"No...just thought I'd check up on how Deadboy here was enoying life," he grins, leaning over to whisper into Angel's ear. "How're ya holding up, big guy?"

"Unless you plan on coughing up some apologies, you can just get out of here, you little spaz!" Cordelia snaps back.

"Believe me- if any of you are waiting for an apology, you've got another thing comin'. See, that's the other reason I wanted to come over...to resign."

"Resign?" Oz speaks up.

"I'm done. I'm through being everyone's whipping boy. I mean, come on- that's all I ever really was to any of you...the comic relief of the gang. Buffy's the strong one, along with her little boy-toy over there," he tosses a sideways glance to Angel. "Willow's the smart one, Oz is Mr. Philosophical, and Cordelia...well, I haven't quite figured out what position you fill besides all-around bitch, but when I do, I'll be sure to fill you in on it."

Surprising herself, as well as the other Scoobs, Buffy pulls Xander's arm behind his back, slamming him up against a nearby pillar. "Why don't you head on back to your demon plaything before I decide to fill you in on exactly what a slayer can do to someone who pisses her off in everyway possible?"

"No need for the hostility, Buff." Xander, relieved when she releases him, passes them all a wicked grin before turning back to find Anya. "We're still on the same side...I'm just more aware of things than any of you will ever be."

I'll be giving the gift of great confusion
So make of it what you will it's yours to use
Come show me where my footsteps ought to tread
And fill me with the wise words that you said
I'll be giving the gift of the double bluff
So do whatever you want to do 'til you've done enough
The words you worship died upon
The pages that you wrote them on

"Okay- who thinks he's just replaced Angel as Cryptic Guy?" Cordelia finally speaks up, in utter shock of Xander's display. "What the hell was that all about? 'We're still on the same side' ?"

Looking on from his own table, Xander becomes so caught up in observing their reactions that he almost doesn't hear his newly acquired beeper go off. Looking down at the number that pops up on the screen, he mutters something to Anya before grabbing his jacket, dashing off out the back door.

******

Why can't you see
That everything's broken?
Why does it seem
This life's turned gray?
I can't believe
In anything sacred
When I don't believe
That I am real

Buffy sighs heavily as a sudden rush of emotions fills her head, keeping her from peaceful sleep. She remembers how hectic the whole day has been- the encounter with Xander being the latest addition to her seemingly never-ending list of problems. She groans and rolls over to look at the time as the red digits on the alarm clock reflect off the dresser- 2:37 AM; too late for her to just be getting to sleep. Beginning to stir in bed, she reaches over to grab Angel but finds an empty space where he should've been laying. "Angel," she calls softly into the darkness. After about six times, she notices that their door is cracked open. Having a pretty good idea where she would find him, she crawls out of bed, making her way downstairs cautiosly.

I need someone to
Break the silence
That's screaming in my head...
...and in my soul

Broken fragments of moonlight dancing across the walls gave life to the otherwise empty great hall. Surprised to find that Angel hadn't retreated downstairs as he'd been doing for the past week, Buffy begins her search through the rest of the mansion. After her last check in their training room, she realizes her lover had made a stealth departure into the night without even bothering to tell her. Instinctively, she grabs the phone, carrying the cordless with her to call Giles. But before her fingers can finish dialing the familiar number, her ears pick up on the sound of the front door opening.

"Angel..." she calls out to him as she runs over to him, launching herself into his arms. By now used to his less than enthusiastic responses to her lately, she pulls away from him. Slowly, her eyes travel down the front of his jacket and gray sweater, seeing that the streaks of blood that had stained the material were now smeared across her own tank top.

"Where were you? What happened?"

"Patrolling..." he mumbles, trying to move past her but finds himself being held back.

"We already patrolled tonight. Why did you have to go out again...by yourself?"

"I couldn't sleep," he tiredly sighs, finally succeeding in getting past her. He sheds his jacket, tossing it over the back of the sofa as he takes a seat, holding his head in his hands. Trying to push her anger aside for the moment, more concerned about whether or not he had been injured, Buffy sits down beside him. "Are you hurt?"

I am alone
Locked in my memories
There's nowhere left
For me to hide
But I am not real
I've made all I am with lies

Shaking his head softly, he turns to face her. "Aren't you going back to bed?" Inching over closer to him, she snakes her arm around his waist, trying to feel for any wounds. Assuring herself that he's okay, she rests her head against his shoulder. "I'll wait for you."

"I have to get cleaned up..." he responds, moving out of their embrace to stand.

"Why don't you let me help?" she manages a faint smile, hoping he'd accept her offer.

"Just go to bed, Buffy."

Blinking back tears, the slayer watches as Angel turns his back to her, grabbing his jacket, walking over to hang it up by the front door. "Can't you talk to me?" Buffy finally cries angrily at him. She sees him immediately tense up at her question, turning back around to cross the room to approach her. "Angel..." Seeing the look in his eyes as he lifts his head to face her was only making this harder for her. With a nervous hand, she begins twirling the claddagh ring that rested on her finger before mustering the strength to speak again. "Do you still want me?"

Why can't you see
My need for forgiveness?
The truth and the lies Confused as one
I can't believe
In anything sacred
When I don't believe
In anything

As Angel watches her, he can feel the hurt and fear radiating from her eyes. Despite his best efforts, he can't bring himself to tell her the truth- to tell her how desperately he wanted her, how much he adored her but no longer believed he should be allowed to do so. He'd never meant to let Buffy conjure up such a ridiculous idea as the one she had just presented to him, but he was still finding it hard to react in any other way since drinking from her.

"You asked me to..." Buffy voice waivers, seeing him at a loss as to how to respond to her. "You asked me to move in, but...but now you don't...you don't seem like you even want me here."

"You know you're welcome to stay here if you want, Buffy."

"I don't want to live here because *I* want to...I want to live here because *you* want me to- because *you* want me here."

Seeing him make no move to respond to her in any way, Buffy sits up on the sofa, folding her legs underneath her as she tries once more. "Please..." she whispers, tasting a bit of the tear that had fallen to the corner of her mouth.

"I have to take a shower..." Unable to face her for a second longer, Angel retreats upstairs leaving Buffy cringing as far into the cushions of the sofa as they would allow, her bright eyes gleamed over with tears.

I need someone to
Break the silence
That's screaming in my head...
...and in my soul

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