Fixing Joss's Stupidity

by Spitfire

Disclaimer: Joss owns 'em


"Because I'm a vampire," Angelus grinned evilly. Rebecca backed up in horror and shock, emotions that quickly turned to confusion when the demon began walking away. "Y'know," he laughed, his back still turned, "I just remembered that I have some business to take care of in Sunnydale. Do be a good little snack and stay here while I'm gone, won't you?" With that, and a quick change of pants, the vampire was gone.

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"Giles, you have to listen, Angel is evil! ...Yes, as in 'grrr, I bite you now'! ...No, I did *not* screw him! Giles, tell Buffy I didn't touch Angel!" Cordelia yelled into the phone as loudly as she could, probably deafening the watcher on the other end. "Well, it's comforting to know you'll keep an eye out, if he doesn't poke them out first, ya' know..."

She hung up the phone and walked over to where Rebecca sat. "Well, what did you think was gonna happen? Our boss gets a happy, he goes evil, and here you are, putting on the little-innocent-pathetic act to try and get some sympathy. Get a grip! You caused this, and if Angel were to come in right now, I'd *let* him rip your throat out!"

The actress jerked back, but didn't make a move to defend herself. She knew Cordelia was right.

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Parker Abrams strolled down the street, catching a glance under a womans' dress every now and then with a small mirror. He was busily doing so when he bumped into a broad shoulder. Looking up, he met deep brown eyes that held the slightest bit of mischief and amusement in them. Angelus grinned, then chuckled slightly, "You keep that up, you're liable to get slapped. Hard, I might add."

Parker gave a look of surprise then grinned himself, "Oh, they never find out. 'Sides, what do you care?"

Angelus shrugged. They then continued talking. Parker began going into a detailed description of every woman he'd fooled, tricked, and played. How he'd done it and how they'd been. The vampire grew very interested in his little speech. That is, until he heard about the one girl who hadn't taken it well.

"So, she comes up to me, 'Parker why didn't you call?' I told her it was just fun. I told her. I think she'd thought it was more. She was stupid that way. Stupid blonde, think they know everything."

Angelus raised an eyebrow, "What was her name?"

"Bunny or somethin'..."

"Buffy, her name is Buffy," the vampire scolded sternly. "And you," he picked up the smaller man and threw him up against a tree, "You made a big mistake." Angelus vamped-out. "See, we're gonna rule this town, me and her. King and Queen of the Hellmouth, and little dirtbags like you are gonna be the first ones to go. 'Cause, see, she's mine," he raked his nails across Parker's face, "Once I kill her, turn her, make her mine forever, that's when we feast." In one swift motion, the vampire had let go of Parker's collar, regrabbed him by the neck, and bit down hard.

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Buffy and the others had gathered at the graveyard, stakes in hand and crossbows at the ready. Not any of the group was prepared to face Angelus again, with the slight ignoration of Anya and Riley, for he'd hurt each of them in many ways. Xander, however, seemed too comfy with the idea of killing the Slayers' once-love. He'd had no second thought about picking up the bow, nor did he then. Spike had also reacted in a similar way, saying something about 'The poof deserves whatever we hit him with'.

Riley was armed to the teeth with lasers and electrical weapons, all of which looked like something out of Lost In Space. The Initiative was unknowing to his little detour, and thereby had no record of him ever taking the weapons.

Just when the gang had started feeling a little safer, Angelus emerged from the shadows, smiling in that way that would make a wolf's blood run cold. Everyone seemed to tense up, the very air around them irradiating fear.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" He taunted. "Poor, little Slayer, her friends can't hide her. You can't hide her..." He walked up to Riley and smirked. "She'll be mine, boy, and you know it, they know it, Hell, everyone knows." He continued on, basking in Buffy's hurt look, "Y'know somethin' else? I screwed her seven ways from Sunday. More than once, I might add." They all seemed confused, "Oh, come on! Do you really think all we did was talk?! Thanksgiving was the greatest night my better half had ever seen! But being the ass that he is, he went and erased it."

Riley sent Buffy a glare, "What is he talking about?"

Angelus laughed, "You really are as stupid as they say! The Oracles, those idiots, they made me human! Human! Just like you vermin." He sobered, then gestured to Buffy, "Just for a day, and you, dear wife, couldn't even remember that."

"*What* did you call me?"

"Wife. Mine, to be exact," a beat passed, "He didn't tell you that, either?!" The vampire began laughing, stopping only when he saw the tears that threatened Buffy's face. He let an evil smirk show through. He'd gotten her, struck her down. This was the final blow.

Xander had enough, he raised the crossbow and fired.

Angelus picked that moment to kneel down holding his head, something was wrong. The bolt hit his shoulder, sending him off balance. The vampire fell to the floor and stayed down.

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Angel didn't know what had happened. At first he was getting terribly drunk, then angry at Rebecca, then... He was chained up in Giles' apartment. How did this happen?

His vision was still blurry, but he could tell where he was. The faint scent of tea and aging paper hung in the air. He smelled something else, a familiar scent, something he didn't forget, couldn't forget. Buffy.

He closed his eyes a few times to clear them. When he did, he could see where exactly he was. He was against the far wall from the door, the Scooby Gang sat on the couch, staring at him, and Buffy was up, standing in his line-of-veiw, looking down at him. Without thought, he said the first thing that came to mind. Her name. She seemed shocked, but regarded him coldly.

"Well, look who woke up, bloody Sleepin' Beauty," Angel turned his attention to Spike, who was grinning from his spot on the couch. Resisting the urge to growl at the younger vampire, Angel once again tried to look Buffy in the eye, but she turned away, her cheeks stained with tears.

"Buffy, wait..."

She turned around sharply, then reached down, and slapped him. He didn't struggle, didn't remark, simply hung his head. That came as a shock to most of the group, having always associated Angelus with his witty comebacks and insults. And this made Buffy wonder, just for a second...

The door slammed against the wall, giving way to Cordelia and Wesley. Both of their gazes caught on Angel, who seemed helpless against the chains that bound him.

Cordelia ran over, looked Angel up and down, then faced the group, "Hey, the drugs should have worn off by now, so we're just gonna take out boss and leave, kay?"

"What? What drugs?" Buffy gave her a look of pure confusion.

Wesley took off his glasses and cleaned them, "Angel was given a type of muscle relaxer, it made him assume true happiness had happened, it also weakened his defenses against the demon.. It should have worn off long before now."

Buffy glanced around the room, finally resting her eyes on Angel. His head was hung low, he didn't dare look back up at her. The crowd began talking at once, voices running over one another. "Alright, everyone out!"

The entire group turned their heads to stare at the blonde Slayer. Then, knowing that getting her more aggravated was not the way to go, filed out of the room.

Buffy walked up to Angel, hands on her hips. "Look at me," she commanded. When he didn't move, she tried again, "Look at me!" Slowly, Angel raised his head, but didn't look her in the eye.

"I- I'm sorry..." Angel let his head drop again. There was so much that the demon had said, things that he should have told her long ago.

"Angel, care to explain just *what* he was talking about?" She got no response. "About the wife thing and the Thanksgiving thing...? Ring a bell?"

"Wife... mine. Yes. I remember. I'm sorry for that. For never letting you know. For never getting a chance to tell you."

"Then, it's true?"

When he nodded, Buffy didn't know whether to be mad or jump for joy. She'd always dreamed of being married to Angel, to have that kind of bond. One that officially says that you belong to someone in neat writing. But, in his mind, for all those years, he did belong to her. He was hers. Prying her mind away from that subject for the moment, she moved on to other things...

"What about Thanksgiving? What was that about?" Buffy flinched when she saw the pain that washed over his face. Did her little talk really cause that much suffering?

Angel moved against the chains nervously, he really didn't want her to know. In his mind, all he'd ever done was cause pain, he didn't want to cause more. But he also knew that she'd keep pushing him until he told her. That was one of the many things he loved about her, she never let things just drop.

"Thanksgiving didn't happen just once..." Upon her look of confusion, he clarified, "When you came, we fought the Morah together. Its' blood made me human." She gasped, then tried to regain some composure, unsuccessfully. For a brief moment, Buffy saw Angel light up, "We were happy, no more curse, no more constant guilt, it was perfect..." He darkened again, "Then the Morah came back. I found out that I was weak. Too weak to fight. You would die if I stayed human, so I asked the Oracles to turn back the day. It never happened."

When Angel looked up again, he was hurt to see tears staining Buffy's face. She looked straight at him, "You gave it all up... just because you wanted me to live?" He nodded. "Oh, Angel," her arms were around his shoulders in a hug. She wanted to stay there, with her lover, forever.

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The two laid together in bed, neither wanting to move. Since Buffy's little discovery, the Oracles had decided to make Angel's soul permanent. They had made sure their Warriors stayed strong and happy.

"Well, Angel, your evil-half did do *one* thing right."

Angel gave her an extremely confused stare. "Oh? What's that?"

"He brought us back to each other. He also got rid of Parker, so that's an added bonus."

"Well, if you'd told me he'd caused so much hurt, I would have hurt him so much more."

"You're sweet," she smiled and leaned in to kiss him. She pulled away when she heard him gasp softly. Looking down, she noticed her elbow had hit the crossbow wound. "Sorry."

He just grinned, "That's okay." He quickly pulled her lips to his. She was breathless for a long while after that.

The End

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