Summary- What happens when you can't seperate the Slayer from the girl?
Rating- PG
Feedback-Sure why not.
AN- Buffy's POV, somewhat future, Angst.

There has always been one thing that has always held me together through everything I have been through. And that is that I can save lives. That little piece of knowledge that I make a difference in this sorry world. But now that is gone. I can't save anyone anymore. I don't know what I'm capable of now. Life. Death. Killing. Living. All that lies in my hands. Blood, gore, death. Is what stains my hands.

Once upon a time, I was a girl, like any other. 16 years old and on top on the world. Years gone by and lost forever. What little innocence I had left after my Calling is lost in the abyss of blood and death, forever. But always then, in the midst of everything, the demons, the vampires, the fights, I knew who I was. Buffy Anne Summers. One girl in all the world. In love with the only vampire with a soul. Blond, bright eyed and full of life. But now its all gone. I'm a shell of who I once was. Less than a shell. I'm lost and I don't know how to find myself. I don't know what separates the girl from the Slayer anymore. And maybe there is no seperation. Maybe it was always like this, but I was too blinded by life, love, and actually living to see what was happening on the inside. But now it makes its presence known with blowing force. Emotions and feelings of love and trust are now a thing of the past and what I feel now is the need to kill.

Somehow, I think Angel knew. I think he knew what was happening and tried to shield me. My savior. My passion for the hunt was slowly growing into a bloodthirsty rage for a kill. Angel knew. That's why he was always there and when he left, I didn't know how to deal with this. And, in no way am I blaming him for what I have done. Maybe there is no one to blame, and maybe there is. When I was brought back, something was different. The second time, everything had changed. Something was missing and something new was inside. Something…evil. Something that now drives me into the crypt and into the arms of a mortal enemy.

I am a harm to those I once loved and I know it. That is why I have to leave. You see, there is a fine line between a hunter and a killer. A line which I long ago passed. What thread of sanity I have left is telling me to leave what used to be my home. And so I pass the 'welcome to Los Angeles' sign, and I know where I have to go. To him.

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