Beyond the Darknessby *Stars*
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss & Co.
Spoilers: Set in s5 BtVS – but veers AU
Rating: R – Violence, Language
Warning: ANGST!!!!!!!!
A/N: This fic is written for gentle_thorns as part of the ‘Buffy & Angel Angstathon’ hosted by Green and Miggy.
A/N 2: The passage of dialogue in italics was taken directly from BtVS episode #83, ‘No Place Like Home,’ written by Douglas Petrie.
Part I
There was always something dark and dangerous going on in Sunnydale, California. How could there not be? It was sitting directly on top of a Hellmouth after all. But the events that took place on October 24, 2000, would change the life of the Slayer, and those close to her forever.
She had been played. Again.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"You have to... the Key. You must protect the Key,” the monk choked out.
“Fine. We can protect the Key together, okay, just far, far from here,” the Slayer answered quickly.
“Many more die if you don't keep it safe,” he informed her through hindered breaths.
“How? What is it?” the Slayer questioned automatically.
“The Key is energy. It's a portal. It opens the door...”
“The Dagon Sphere?”
“No. For centuries it had no form at all. My brethren, its only keepers. Then the abomination found us. We had to hide the Key, gave it form, molded it flesh... made it human and sent it to you,” the Monk answered, almost sobbing.
“Dawn...” Buffy said aloud as the realization hit her.
“She's the Key,” he confirmed.
“You put that in my house?” the Slayer spat in anger.
“We knew the Slayer would protect,” the Monk replied, pleading his case.
“My memories... my mom's?”
“We built them.”
“Then un-build them! This is my life you're…”she started to demand.
“You cannot abandon.”
“I didn't ask for this! I don't even know... what is she?”
“Human... now human. And helpless. Please... she's an innocent in this. She needs you.”
"She's not my sister!”
“She doesn't know that,” and with those final words the Monk slipped into eternal darkness.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
On her long walk home Buffy replayed the conversation that she had with the Monk over and over again in her mind. She wanted to come to a different conclusion, she *needed* there to be another way out of this horrible nightmare, but there wasn’t. There was never another way. The hardest choices were always hers to make, and hers alone. It was her destiny after all to decide these things.
As much as she wanted to chuck her responsibility and protect the young girl who she had thought was her sister, she knew, without a doubt, that was not an option. She had family and friends to think about. There just wasn’t room in this scenario to have feelings for someone who wasn’t really *real* at all.
When she finally walked through the front door of her home, the one she shared with her mother, and what she used to think was her sister, Buffy’s stomach was suddenly in knots. With every fiber of her being she dreaded this moment, but there was no way else around it.
“Buffy, you’re home,” Joyce said with a sigh of relief. She used to think she would eventually get use to her daughter being the Slayer, but she was beginning to realize that wasn’t ever going to happen. Buffy risked her life on a daily basis to keep the world safe, and she didn’t think there was anything any scarier for a parent than to have to deal with the possible death of a child.
“Hi mom,” Buffy greeted as pleasantly as she could. She had desperately hoped that her mom wouldn’t be home when she got there. Dealing with Dawn would be hard enough, but having her mom around for everything would put a whole different spin on it.
“What’s wrong sweetie? You look…” Joyce couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but she knew her daughter like the back of her hand, so it was obvious to her that Buffy was troubled by something.
“Can we…talk?” Buffy asked as she fought back the tears that were threatening to fall.
“Sure honey…. What’s wrong?” Joyce asked with concern as she moved to sit on the couch, motioning for her daughter to join her as she did.
Everything that Buffy had thought of to tell her mom about Dawn was gone the second she sat down next to her. The only words she could manage to choke out through her body shaking sobs were, “Oh mommy…. I’m sorry, I’m soo sorry!”
Instead of thoughts of Dawn, her mind was flooded with memories of a brutally murdered teacher and friend, a fallen classmate, friends who were stalked and taunted, and a Watcher who had endured hours of torture all because she had been weak. She had let down her friends and family when the world was in peril over two years ago. There was no way she could allow herself to fail them again.
Buffy knew that no matter what the Monk told her about keeping the ‘key’ safe it would be impossible. Tools of evil left undestroyed inevitably ended up in the wrong hands. She had allowed Angelus to walk because she was too weak to destroy him. He had worn her lover’s face and that had been her undoing. She had let him go, and in doing so she allowed the demon to kill innocent people and almost suck the world into Hell. As gut wrenching as this decision was to make, she was steadfast in her knowledge that there was no other way. She couldn’t allow the possibility that Dawn might someday end up in the wrong hands, or that even Dawn herself would become a doer of evil.
Regardless of her undying belief between right and wrong in this situation, it didn’t make it any easier. Buffy spilled endless tears on her mother’s shoulder as Joyce sat in quiet restraint, stunned by her daughter’s unexpected breakdown. Buffy was always so strong, and to see her sobbing like a small child was heart wrenching to say the least. As her own eyes welled up with tears, Joyce pulled her oldest daughter into her arms and did her best to calm her. It was several excruciatingly long minutes before Buffy was able to compose herself enough to form a coherent sentence.
Although there were a million different things running through her head, Joyce refrained from overwhelming her daughter with questions and waited on pins and needles for Buffy to talk, but only when she was ready to. Whatever it was, they’d get through it together. There was no way she was going to let the situation escalate as it had two years prior, to the point where her beloved child felt the need to escape, not only her life as a Slayer, but also her life as the daughter of Joyce Summers. She would never allow such a wall to be built between them again.
“Mom… I…. I don’t know how to say this,” Buffy began as she wiped away the tears that were still falling.
“Whatever it is sweetheart, it’s okay, you can tell me,” Joyce reassured as she continued to stroke her daughter’s golden locks away from her face.
Buffy hesitated for a moment. Not sure what to say, or how to go about saying it. It wasn’t everyday you found out your sister, and in her mother’s case, daughter, wasn’t real; that all of your memories about her were conjured up by some Monks who thought screwing with your life would be fun! Finally, Buffy took a deep cleansing breath and began.
“It’s about Dawn,” Buffy stated in almost a whisper.
“What about Dawn?” Joyce asked suspiciously, pulling away to look Buffy in the eyes. As far as she knew her younger daughter had been upstairs in her room all evening doing her homework. Now, she was beginning to get worried. If Buffy was upset to the point of crying then something had to be *really* wrong.
“Buffy…” Joyce prodded when her daughter did not immediately answer.
“She’s… she’s not what you think she is. She’s not what any of us think she is,” Buffy answered honestly.
“What do you mean by that?”
“She’s not real. She’s not my sister, and she’s not your daughter. She’s some ‘key’ that a bunch of Monks made into a human so I’d protect her.”
“Buffy, don’t be ridiculous,” Joyce replied with a half laugh.
“I’m not being…. ridiculous. Just a few months ago she was some big ball of energy that some big bad went after. These Monks sent her to us… to me. Mom, you’ve got to understand, Dawn is dangerous.”
“You’re lying! You’re mad at her… or jealous…. or *something*, and you’re making this up! How dare you Buffy! How dare you tell such a lie about your sister!” Joyce spat as she rose from the couch and moved across the room. She needed to put distance between herself and her eldest. It was like she didn’t even know who Buffy was anymore. She couldn’t believe she’d go to this length to get… what, attention?
“Mom! Gods, I wish I were making this up! I wish this was some deranged fantasy I was having, but it’s not! She’s a ‘key,’ a very dangerous ‘key,’ and I have to deal with that.” Buffy cried out in frustration as she rose from her spot on the couch.
“Deal with?” Joyce asked hesitantly with a raised eyebrow. She in no way liked the tone her daughter was using. Buffy sounded final, and that was chilling her to the bone.
“Buffy, hey! Didn’t know you were home,” Dawn chirped from the bottom of the stairs.
Both Joyce and Buffy spun around quickly to face Dawn. Neither had any idea how much of the conversation she had overheard, but they were equally concerned, though for different reasons.
Joyce was worried her baby girl had heard her older sister saying she was dangerous, and that she needed to be ‘dealt with,’ and worried about what sort of reaction she might have to such outlandish allegations. Buffy, on the other hand, was worried that Dawn had heard her, and would do something… though she had no idea what that something could be. She just had a bad feeling about this whole situation.
“Uh… Dawn… hey,” Buffy managed to utter. She made the quick decision to play the conversation that she’d just had with her mother off like it never even took place. She hoped it would give her a chance to study Dawn’s behavior and hopefully clue her in on whether or not her “sister” had overheard anything.
“So, did you kill anything tonight? A vamp? Or… or… I know, an ugly two-headed demon?” Dawn questioned with what most would construe as excitement in her voice.
“No. It was pretty dead tonight,” Buffy answered without thinking.
Dawn snorted loudly before breaking into seemingly endless giggles.
“Dawn?” Joyce asked, growing concerned about her youngest daughter’s odd behavior.
“Bu… Buffy… sh…. she said… she said it was dead out there!” Dawn finally managed to say as she slowly regained control of her laughter, though the goofy teenage grin had yet to fade. Obviously her sister’s bad pun was lost on everyone but her.
“Dawnie, isn’t it a bit past your bedtime?” Joyce asked sweetly. She figured if Buffy was going to ignore the conversation they just had then she would do the same, if only for the benefit of her youngest. She and Buffy would discuss this matter later when Dawn was out of earshot.
“Mom! It’s not that late!” Dawn whined.
Joyce gracefully walked to her daughter, pulling the young girl into a loving embrace when she reached her. Although Dawn squirmed to try and free herself from the ‘way too much parental display of affection,’ Joyce was relentless and held fast to her baby. She had no doubt within her that this girl, this precious gift of life, was her daughter, *her* flesh and blood. There was no possible way that Dawn wasn’t real. None.
“Mom! Mom, enough already! I can’t breath!”
“Oh honey, stop being so dramatic!” Joyce answered as she slowly released the young girl from her possibly over protective embrace.
“Yeah, well you’ll think ‘dramatic’ when I’m dead!” Dawn replied seriously.
“Dawn Summers, I never want to hear you say such a thing again! You’re not going to die!” Joyce shot back sternly. To hear her daughter mention death in such a way was chilling, even if she was just being a typically overdramatic adolescent.
“Well I will be… because you hugged me to death!” Dawn declared in exasperation at her mother’s stern words. And her mom said *she* was the dramatic one! Pffttt….
“Dawnie…”
“Okay, FINE! I’m going to bed,” Dawn quickly replied before turning and stomping up the stairs to her bedroom. The sound of her door slamming quickly followed.
Joyce watched Dawn’s slender form angrily retreat up the steps to her bedroom. When the noise of a slamming door broke her musings she turned to find herself standing alone. The spot where her eldest daughter had been standing was now empty. Maybe that was for the best. She wasn’t sure if she could deal with Buffy’s childish behavior right at that moment anyway. The tension headache that had slowly crept up on her throughout the evening was now full blown. All she wanted to do was take some of her pain medication that her doctor had prescribed and go to bed. The fiasco with Buffy would just have to wait until morning.
~~~~~~
Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen from the tears she’d shed. Her mascara was smeared, her head was pounding, and as she walked aimlessly though the deserted park in the center of Sunnydale, Buffy Summers had no idea she was being watched. She probably wouldn’t have cared much even if she had noticed.
The blonde-headed creature who had followed her from the moment she hastily exited her house was keeping its distance. There would be a confrontation, that was most definitely in the cards, but the time wasn’t quite right. The Slayer needed to have a little more time to herself to sulk in the knowledge of what she had to do.
As she continued to trudge along through a haze of sadness, Buffy finally succumbed to the overpowering sickness that had been building deep within her soul. Falling to her knees in the damp night grass, the Slayer began to expel everything within her body. The overpowering feeling of guilt had finally taken its toll on the young slayer. She had once thought that sending the love of her life to Hell was the worst thing she would ever be forced to do, but this…. this was soo much worse for entirely different reasons.
This horribly evil ball of energy that was needed to reek havoc on the earth looked like a young girl. A young girl that, to Buffy’s knowledge, had never done anything wrong, nothing that could even be remotely thought of as bad, and yet, here she was, the center of everything evil. How was she going to do this? How could she possibly force herself to end the life of a seemingly innocent person?
With every thought that flashed within her head, Buffy cried out in pain. Every inch of her body was shaking with fear and sadness, and the despair that she felt taking control. The days of dusting vampires and the occasional demon were gone. Tonight she was faced with a fate worse than the kiss of death itself.
“Oh look, it’s Bunny,” the beautiful female chided as she sashayed her way to the petite blonde who was still hunched down in the wet grass on her hands and knees.
Buffy slowly drug her eyes up from the ground in front of her and followed the line of sight from the perfectly painted toenails encased in a pair of expensive red sandals, to the above the knee red silk skirt, the finely woven and beautifully hand stitched white blouse all the way up to the blood red lips of the hell goddess she’d run into earlier in the evening at the warehouse. Wiping at the side of her mouth with the back of her hand, Buffy shakily rose to her feet. This was not a time to show weakness.
“So Bunny, you ready to hand the ‘key’ over? I know you have it. Those monkeys wanted to entrust it to someone who would lay their life on the line to keep it safe. Who’s better at doing such a stupid thing than the Slayer?” the hell goddess asked nonchalantly.
“I don’t know who you are, and I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Buffy lied.
“Oh I think you do, but if you’d prefer to play the dumb blonde tonight then fine. Now, listen carefully…,” the beautiful and strong siren cooed before grabbing a fistful of Buffy’s hair and dragging her still shaking form close to her side.
“First off, the name is Glory. G. L. O. R. Y. Second, the ‘key’ is what I’m looking for, and I know the monkeys gave it to you for safekeeping. It’s about this high,” Glory stated as she raised her free hand to indicate the approximate height of Dawn.
“And it has that atrocious dirt colored hair, an all too annoying whinny voice, and it goes by the name of Dawn. Ring any bells blondie?” Glory demanded as she twisted a fist full of hair, causing Buffy to wince visibly with pain.
“I still don’t know what you’re talking about. Must be all that peroxide you use on your hair, the fumes have destroyed any brain cells you had,” Buffy bit out in return.
“This is natural I’ll have you know,” Glory answered quickly as she tossed the slayer to the ground.
Buffy scrambled to her feet, adjusting to her fighting stance quickly. She was rewarded for her agile movements with a swift kick to her abdomen. Glory always seemed to be one step ahead of her. When she hit the metal pipes that created the jungle gym play area her breath was immediately taken from her, causing her to fall once again to her hands and knees.
“Okay Bunny, let’s get something straight here…,” Glory started as she approached the fallen Slayer.
“How….‘bout….. my name. It’s BUFFY!” the Slayer shouted as she kicked Glory’s feet out from under her.
Falling to the ground with a ‘humfff’ the easily agitated goddess roared in anger, beating her fists into the wet grass in her frustration. *This* wasn’t why she’d followed the Slayer. She was in no mood to get into a schoolyard scrap with the little blonde goody two shoes. She had more important things to tend to. Besides, she might break a nail, and there just wasn’t a good manicurist around this dumpy little town.
So instead of going another round of fist-to-cuffs with little miss Mary Jane, she switched tactics. As gracefully as a beauty queen, Glory returned to her feet and threw a fake smile in the direction of her nemesis.
“Okay Buffy,” Glory began as she emphasized the Slayer’s correct name.
“I really don’t want to get down and dirty here,” the Hell goddess began.
“Huh, could have fooled me,” the Slayer quickly spat back.
“I have no interest in you little girl. You are of no consequence to me. All I want is my pretty little ‘key’ back,” Glory stated matter-of-factly.
“I told you…,” Buffy began.
“And I’m telling you! We can either do this the easy way, and you can hand the ‘key’ over to me. Or we can do this the bloody death to all of your friends way and I’ll get her myself! Your choice,” the hell goddess interrupted.
“You’ll never get your hands on her. I won’t let you,” Buffy returned determinedly.
“Tsk…tsk…tsk…I wouldn’t make promises like that! You can’t stop me, no one can! And when I get my hands on that sweet little prize….mmm…mmm…mmmm, the things we’ll be able to do together!” Glory answered with a grin that stretched from ear to ear. She could tell from the Slayer’s reaction that she was trouncing any hope the little do-gooder had left. Soon desperation would set in and then… then the fun would begin.
Buffy opened her mouth to retaliate against Glory’s finalistic promise but found she had nothing to say. Realistically, she knew she had no chance outright in defeating the more powerful goddess in front of her. She’d realized that almost immediately upon their encounter earlier in the evening. Buffy knew that her choice was limited to destroying the ‘key,’ but she had no intention of letting Glory know that she’d made that decision. For whatever small amount of time it would buy her, she needed the hell goddess to think she was prepared to die to save Dawn. It was her only hope to save her friends.
“Okay, so I’m guessing by the sudden loss of quick quips you’ve decided that the ‘bloody death to all of your friends way’ is your choice from the menu tonight! You know, no skin off my back. Besides, I always like a quick game of cat and mouse,” Glory stated casually as she moved her hands to her hips.
“So,” she continued without skipping a beat, “in the interest of good sportsmanship, I’ll give you a…. fifteen minute head start,” the hell goddess said as she raised her left arm to look at the expensive silver and gold watch that embraced her slender wrist perfectly.
Buffy stood frozen in place, staring blankly at the blonde goddess. She had… fifteen minutes…. fifteen…. minutes… that wasn’t enough….. only…. nine hundred…. seconds… She’d never be able to make it in time. And how? How could she… murder… no destroy…. her sister…. the ‘key’…. in fifteen….
“Better get crackin’ Bunny. Time’s a wastin’!” Glory said sarcastically as she tapped at the watch face with the tip of her expertly manicured fingernail.
The Slayer in Buffy took control without a second thought. There were precious seconds flying by, and the more primal predator within her knew that she had little time to waste. The ticks of Glory’s nail to her watch face resounded in Buffy’s ears like a C-5 explosion at her feet. By the third explosive bang in Buffy’s subconscious she began running like the wind. Dodging in between the large Oak trees that dotted the landscape of the park, hurdling rows of bushes and flowers as if she were an Olympic sprinter, the Slayer ran as fast as her Chosen strength would carry her.
Glory let out a cackled laugh that would have rivaled only the fabled ‘Wicked Witch of the West’s’ from the ‘Wizard of Oz.’ She had little desire to stand in the middle of the human’s playground waiting so she began her short walk to what she considered to be home….for now. She could spout that honorable good intention crap from now until dooms day which, if she timed everything right, would be tomorrow. She laughed out loud again at that thought. How easily the humans were manipulated.
As Buffy’s feet hit the back steps, she stilled to a halt. She had planned out the deed in her head as she ran. Figuring out a quick battle strategy was a skill she’d honed to near perfection in the years since she’d been Called. Tiptoeing in through the traditionally unlocked back door, Buffy stealthily moved her way through the kitchen and living room areas, up the staircase and to just outside of Dawn’s room. She paused briefly, holding her breath and listening as a true predatory animal would before it struck. With her keen sense of hearing picking up no sounds but the somber breathing of her mother across the hall, and the young girl’s on the other side of the closed door, Buffy quickly opened the thin partition and moved inside Dawn’s room, silently turning the lock on the door as she shut it.
As Buffy turned and looked at her sleeping sister, her breath caught. As the silvery strands of light poured in through the sheers that were gently blowing in the evening air, Buffy could see more than just a dark outline of a young girl sleeping contently in her bed. She could see each and every detail of Dawn’s silken face. It was within that instant that the Slayer within her also wept, for the shell of an innocent that would be destroyed that night.
Buffy gently wiped away the tears that fell and, although she had never been a religious fanatic, she whispered a silent prayer that if the body lying in front of her carried a soul along with the powers to unlock the gates of hell, that those powers in charge would take the soul within and keep it safe. Though she figured it would do little good, Buffy mouthed a silent, ‘Forgive me,’ before she moved to her sister’s side.
Leaning over her sister, the petite Slayer placed a soft hand on each side of Dawn’s face. When the wetness of the tears Buffy was still shedding unexpectedly landed on the young girl’s cheek, it startled her awake.
As Dawn’s eyes fluttered open, she felt two cold hands holding her head in an almost vise like grip. Now fully awake and starring into her sister’s eyes, she had little doubt that, for whatever reason, this was their final moment together. Following that realization was the sheer panic that was expected by the Slayer. Before her sister, the ‘key,’ had a chance to voice her fear, Buffy twisted her head in her hands with deft quickness. Snapping the neck of the only sister she’d ever known.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part II
Buffy stood at her sister’s bedside frozen in place as Dawn’s empty eyes stared up at her. She had done it, committed the ultimate sin. She was steadfast in her knowledge that no matter what, she would never be forgiven for this act of atrocity. Regardless of how many lives were saved, Buffy knew that there was no turning back now. She certainly hadn’t been a child of innocence before, but now…now things were unquestionably different.
A crack of thunder suddenly jarred Buffy out of her internal struggle with the dirty deed she’d just done in the name of saving humanity. As the gentle breeze blowing the sheer curtains in the room became a strong gust, Buffy realized she had little time to waste. Grabbing the young girl’s favorite blanket from the end of the bed, the Slayer threw back the soft white comforter and sheets to reveal the petite form of her sister.
Pulling Dawn’s still warm body from the bed, she hastily covered her in the blanket before moving easily to the locked door. After quietly unlocking the bedroom door, Buffy gently eased Dawn’s body over her shoulder and exited the room, closing the door soundlessly behind her. Carrying a dead body was nothing new to the Slayer. She had lugged much heavier corpses around during her patrols. The foremost difference was this time she was required to maneuver down a flight of noisy wooden stairs and through the living room area that was filled with way too many breakable objects. And she had to do it quickly and without making a sound.
Glancing down at her watch, Buffy figured she’d used up about eight and a half minutes of the fifteen that Glory had given her. As she reached into the small wooden basket that sat on top of the console television, which sat opposite the couch, Buffy tearfully grabbed her mother’s keys.
This was it.
She realized in that moment that it was over. Her life as Buffy Summers was gone. Now she was just the Slayer. Shifting her sister’s body on her shoulder, Buffy turned and headed for the front door. There wasn’t enough time to grieve. There was never enough time.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It had taken Buffy a little over five minutes to speed her way across the empty streets of Sunnydale and to the wood lined edge of the City’s limits. As she carefully pulled her sister’s limp body from the back seat of her mother’s Jeep, Buffy hastily looked at her watch once again. She knew that it shouldn’t have taken that long to drive across town with absolutely no traffic to hinder her, but the storm that had come upon the quiet town suddenly made the simple task of driving at night twice as difficult.
As the cold autumn rain continued to fall the Slayer carefully arranged Dawn’s body on the dirt covered stone floor of the cave that she routinely destroyed demon bodies in. It was a quiet, out of the way place that she and Xander had stumbled across while patrolling a couple of years ago. She along with the rest of her friends and Giles continually used the cave to cremate any demons that didn’t automatically self-destruct upon wooden stake impact.
The Slayer within forced Buffy to move quickly, knowing time was of the essence. Through her body shaking sobs that had suddenly over taken her once more, Buffy covered her sister’s body with the previously gathered wood that she and her friends kept on hand. Her movements were instinctively routine rather than deliberate; the Slayer, maintaining control, soaked the wood and the parts of the body that were left exposed with lighter fluid before pulling a book of matches from her pocket. With a final tearful whispered “goodbye,” a sobbing Buffy Summers, now only a Slayer, lit the match and dropped it into the pool of fluid at her feet.
It was done…now….done. No matter what Glory tried to do, it was over. She had saved her mom, her friends, her watcher, and the world. There was little relief offered in that knowledge. She had just damned herself to an eternity in Hell for saving the world, and she knew it. Falling back against the cold stone walls of the cave, Buffy’s body slid down the rough support to settle in a seated position as she stared blankly through tear filled eyes at the wall of flames a few feet in front of her.
It was mere seconds before the smell of burning human flesh overpowered the Slayer’s senses. She turned quickly to her left and began to dry heave as there was nothing left within her petite form to expel. As much as she wished that simple act would excrete the massive guilt that was eating her soul alive, she understood that it would not. As long as she lived, she would be forced to exist with what she had done. She could only ask the Powers for leniency and pray that they would end this nightmare for her soon.
As the tears continued to fall in streams and her stomach continued to churn, the Slayer laid her head upon the cold stone. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t feel. She was empty. She had given everything of herself for years, and this was the final gift to the world. There was nothing left, *she* had nothing left.
“Oh look, Bunny’s taking a nap by the fire. Maybe she’s waiting for it to get juuust right so she can roast some marshmallows. Are ya gonna roast some marshmallows there Bunny?” Glory asked with amusement.
Buffy slowly dragged her tired limbs from their dirty resting place, coming to stand in front of the hell goddess.
“It’s over Glory. Your ‘key’ has been destroyed,” Buffy stated plainly. There was no emotion left within her.
“Oh Bunny… you really think I’m *that* stupid?” Glory asked with a coy grin as she walked around the perimeter of the still burning embers.
Buffy stared blankly across the flames at the beautiful siren.
“Guess the Slayer’s a little slow tonight,” Glory began as she continued to pace around the edge of the fire. “Maybe I should start from the beginning. Wouldn’t want to leave out any of the important details, now would I?”
“Let’s see… the monkey, I sent him to you. He was of course a real monkey and all, but he and his little band of religious freak brethren had had their minds altered. Way back from the beginning, when they all thought that a little round ball of energy would unlock the gates of Hell and allow me back into my dimension. They were such morons.”
“But…but I, he said… I…,” Buffy stuttered.
“Oh come on honey! You’re gonna give all us blondes a bad name. Don’t let me down here, work with me. I know you can figure this out if you just try,” Glory prodded.
Buffy continued to stare silently at the woman standing across from her. Her mind was blank. She couldn’t think. She had no idea what Glory was saying.
“Since you seem to be at a loss for words, let me continue…So, where were we? Oh yes…Bunny tries to save the monkey. Monkey tells the Slayer about the ‘key’. Monkey doesn’t know that what he is telling the Slayer is as made up as he says her sister is.”
Buffy’s eyes moved from the now smoldering ashes of what was once her sister, through the smoke to the woman smiling back at her. This wasn’t happening; she didn’t mean what she thought she did. She couldn’t.
“Ooo… yippie! Bunny’s beginning to get it!” Glory chirped as she clapped her hands together gleefully.
Buffy gasped at Glory’s words. There were suddenly too many thoughts running through her mind. Too much to process, and she stumbled back towards the cave wall, bracing herself against it for support.
“You’re…. You’re lying.” Buffy choked out.
“I lie about a lot of things little girl, but this… No way would I lie about this. It’s just too damn good! You see Bunny, that pile of ash that used to be your little sister… well she really was your little sister, all whiny and annoying and *human*. I just needed you to *believe* that she was some mystical ‘key’ that I needed in order to open up my Hell dimension,” Glory stated with pleasure as she walked to stand eye to eye with the Slayer.
“N…no. Y…y…you’re…,” Buffy stuttered but was unable to finish her accusation.
“Truth, truth, and more truth. That’s what I’m all about these days,” Glory smirked and then continued on, “See Bunny, you were the problem. Not your sister, not those irritating monkeys, just you. The Slayer. The one and only person who could come between me and my salvation. Getting back to my Promised Land was all about the timing, and when the Powers That Be Called *you*, well, they fucked everything up.”
Buffy’s limbs began to tremble uncontrollably. She could barely stand up, her breathing was becoming erratic, and she was beginning to see spots in front of her eyes. Whether she was under some sort of spell by Glory or just having a natural reaction to the overwhelming guilt that was beginning to eat her up from the inside, Buffy was one step away from death, or at least she hoped she was.
“Life’s a bitch, ain’t it Bunny?” Glory asked smugly.
“W…w…why? Why d…d…didn’t you just kill me?” Buffy choked out tearfully, as she continued to struggle just to breathe.
“Gods, if it had *only* been that easy!” Glory proclaimed with exasperation, throwing her hands into the air for emphasis.
Buffy looked the Hell Goddess in the eyes. She needed answers.
“Those fucking Aktreeons that think they are all high and mighty in my dimension proclaimed a ‘clause’ to my banishment. They said that there would be a Gate to return to my homeland, but that it would be guarded by the ‘Gate Keeper’ for a decade. If I conformed to the Aktreeons’ standards, they would instruct the “Gate Keeper” to free me. If I didn’t conform within the punishment time, then I would be forever damned to this godforsaken dimension,” Glory explained as she paced back and forth in front of the Slayer.
“And to top it all off, the rats said I couldn’t kill the ‘Gate Keeper’, and if I did, the Gate would be closed to me for eternity. I mean really, did they expect me to not find a way around their little stipulation?” Glory asked, though she wasn’t expecting the Slayer to answer her.
Confused, Buffy looked towards Glory. She wasn’t a ‘Gate Keeper’, she was a Vampire Slayer. She didn’t know anything about a Gate or Glory for that matter. This was all some sort of nightmarishly bad dream. That was definitely it, she was dreaming and at any moment her sister was going to come barging into her room and yell that it was time for breakfast, or some other achingly annoying thing that Dawn did on a regular basis.
“Sorry Slayer, this isn’t a dream. It’s as real as real gets, and you were the lucky one to be Chosen into the middle of it,” Glory stated as her eyes moved to the smoldering ash at her feet. “You see, the Slayer was selected by the Imperial Actreeon as the ‘Gate Keeper’. You, Buffy Summers, the Vampire Slayer, and only you, could keep me from opening the ‘Gate’. You are the only reason I’m still in this dimension. You are the only one that could let me out, but if your life ended at my hands, I would be stuck here for eternity, so I had to find another way. Enter my little fib about your sister and then Slayer’s all occupied so I can open my Gate and get out of this hellhole, pun intended.”
Buffy’s numb body was suddenly filled with unbridled rage. She had no idea where it came from, nor did she care. She had been played by the bitch standing in front of her, and the rest was irrelevant. So, without thinking, the Slayer reached back and with a flying fury, punched Glory straight on. She had gone toe to toe with the Hell Goddess before, but she hadn’t had the anger that filled her in that instant, nor was she previously in a position where she had nothing left to lose. There was no way she was letting Glory live, not after she’d manipulated her into murdering her own sister. No, the Hell Bitch was going to pay with her life, or Buffy would die trying.
Glory had been stunned by the initial blow. She had expected the Slayer to fold under the news that she’d just murdered her own human sister in cold blood. As she stumbled back away from Buffy who continued to try and reign blows upon her body, Glory began to gather her strength. With a quick kick to the upper thigh, Buffy fell to the stone floor in pain. She may have been emotionally numb from the news about Dawn, but she was far from being so overloaded that she couldn’t feel the physical pain that came with a blow from the Hell Bitch.
Limping backwards towards the opening of the cave, Buffy moved as quickly as she could to the Jeep’s door. She had thrown in a sword as some last minute protection, and it was becoming obvious that it was needed. As she pulled the car door open, she noticed the small shiny orb glowing in the passenger seat. The Slayer glanced up through the windshield of the vehicle to see where Glory was.
The Slayer’s line of sight was hindered by the pouring rain that was falling in seemingly endless sheets all around, and on the vehicle. It was only in the slightest of seconds that a bolt of lightning flashed in the black night sky, allowing Buffy a glimpse of the female outline which was quickly approaching.
“Where do you think you’re going Bunny? I still need your help!” Glory called from just inside of the cave entrance.
Buffy intuitively grabbed the glowing globe from the front seat of the car along with the sword she would use as a weapon. Stepping back away from the protection of the vehicle, Buffy stared defiantly at her enemy. It was all going to end….right here….right now.
Glory stepped out into the night storm, allowing the beating pellets of rain to soak her expensive clothing. She did not care, for what she needed most was standing only feet from her. The rules may prohibit her from having any real fun with the Slayer, death was not an option, but she still needed a drop of her blood for the ritual, and she was sure that she wasn’t going to get that voluntarily. So, a little rough and tumble with Bunny was going to be unavoidable.
Without a word, Buffy threw the outwardly fragile orb at the Hell Goddess, hoping that it would cause enough of a distraction for her to get an edge over her opponent. She could never, and would never, understand the power that that small ball of light could have over such a strong adversary. Obviously it had been beyond the understanding of Glory as well.
As the Hell Goddess caught the Dagon Sphere, she was momentarily frozen in time. Enough time that was, to allow the Slayer to behead her. The beautiful Goddess that had wreaked so much havoc on Buffy’s life was now dead. With one last act of perseverance, Buffy scrambled past the fallen body of the demon in front of her and moved out of the weather into the cave once more.
The late evening storm that had begun while Buffy was carrying out the most heinous deed of her life had raged with ferocity as she was ending yet another life. Booming thunder that rumbled the City and everything in it along with the accompanying lightening that struck in such force that it lit up the black night sky brighter than a Fourth of July fireworks display continued on as the Slayer began collecting the last remains of her sister.
Sister.
*HUMAN* sister.
The young girl whose flesh and blood was the same as hers, and yet she’d murdered her in cold blood anyway.
Buffy’s body was shaking uncontrollably, tears streamed down both cheeks in rivers. She was racked with guilt and disgust for herself and the sickness of her actions was more than she could stand. She had acted hastily and on impulse rather than using the unending resources she had at her disposal. There was no use for her life, not now, and not even as the Slayer. She had betrayed everything she supposedly stood for as the protector of humanity, and even worse, she betrayed her family and friends.
As she scooped the last bit of Dawn’s ashes that she could gather into the small plastic container she had brought along just for such a purpose, Buffy cried her apologies in a mantra of “I’m sorry” to her sister’s remembered spirit. She wasn’t going to be forgiven for what she had done, nor should she, but something inside forced her to lend voice to the words that were the only thing she had left to offer.
Through her sobs, Buffy forced her aching body to stand. Turning towards the cave’s entrance with Dawn’s remains tightly cradled in her arms, the Slayer looked beyond the darkness. There were no more thoughts, no more empty apologies, nothing left to do but finish off the disease that her life had become. Instinctively, Buffy walked out into the still pouring rain and climbed back inside her mother’s Jeep. She knew where to go, the place that would be most suitable. Her sister needed a proper farewell, and the Slayer knew just where to take her.
~~~
The two-hour drive had passed in seconds, at least it had seemed so to Buffy as she climbed out of her vehicle. She didn’t remember starting the car, or leaving the wooded area at the edge of the Sunnydale City limits. The Slayer only vaguely remembered making a stop at a payphone and leaving a cryptic message on Willow’s answering machine about being sorry and a reassurance that there would be another, because that’s how it worked. She was pretty sure she had called Giles too, but her mind was clouded with thoughts of her sister dancing from one side of the pier to the other the summer before she had been Called. Dawn had repeated over and over again how much fun she had had that day there, so that is where she was returning.
The Slayer walked the short distance to the end of the Santa Monica Bay Pier and sat down on the small wooden bench. The storm seemed to follow her from Sunnydale and showed no signs of letting up. Buffy didn’t waiver at the inclement weather and sat steadfast at the end of her sister’s favorite place. For long minutes she sat silently, a heartfelt apology seemed wrong, yet she felt the need to say something.
Finally, as the waves continued to crash loudly only feet below her, Buffy began tearfully.
“I want to ask for your forgiveness, but I know I can’t. What I did can never be forgiven, and only those who seek redemption should utter those words, and redemption is too far beyond my grasp. So, instead, I want to tell you how much I loved…. no, love you. And that no matter how many times I said I was mad at you, or that I wish I never had a sister, it….it… wasn’t true.”
The Slayer paused at the end of her sentence as she tried desperately to hold onto the last remaining shreds of sanity she had left. Dawn needed a eulogy of sorts, and if she didn’t get a grasp on herself, there was no way she was going to be able to finish.
Wiping at the tears mixed with rain that continued to drench her body, the Slayer finally managed to choke out the rest of her thoughts.
“You were beautiful and smart and funny, and had such a bright future ahead of you. In the lessons of life I’ve learned that the bitter irony in our lives is the karma that comes back to you. I guess maybe this is mine. I was a pretty shallow person before I was Called. This is probably my payback. Yours will be in your next life, and you’ll be a beautiful princess with a loving family who doesn’t have a freak for a sister. I love you Dawnie, I always have.”
And with those final words, Buffy rose from the wooden bench and stepped to the pier’s railing. As if the Powers That Be knew what was to come next, the storm ceased to exist in that instant, the rain stopped and the lightening and thunder concluded their show. In the light wind that followed, Buffy Summers, sister and Slayer, removed the lid to her sister’s final tomb. Turning the container to its side, Buffy let Dawn’s ashes be carried out into the night sky with the ocean’s gentle breeze.
“Goodbye Dawnie, may you be at peace.”
Staring out at the vast ocean, Buffy said her silent goodbyes to those she loved. She had bade farewell to her sister as best she could, now it was time to finish the rest. Turning back toward the bench, the Slayer picked up the sword that she had only hours previous used to end the life of her enemy. Emotionlessly, Buffy returned to the pier’s edge and climbed up to sit upon the railing, her legs dangling above the dark waters of the Pacific. Positioning the sword between her legs, the Slayer shed one last tear for the mess she had made of her life and those she loved, then expertly slashed both wrists simultaneously against the blade’s sharp edges.
Buffy allowed the sword to plummet to the once again rough waters below as she stared at the rich crimson blood that began to ooze quickly from the long, deep cuts. Content on waiting for the darkness to consume her, the Slayer returned her bloody arms to her lap and blankly watched as the powerful storm began to emerge again.
As the seconds turned into minutes, and the minutes continued to drag on, Buffy’s grip on reality quickly began to slip away. Regardless of the Slayer’s ability to heal, her blood loss was beginning to take affect. Buffy Summers saw one last streak of lightening light up the black sky before her body fell from the pier’s railing and into the waters below.
The Slayer’s final tomb would be deep down, on the Ocean’s floor.
Beyond the Darkness.
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