Series: Diary Series
Chapter: Three
Archive: http://www.geocities.com/mistressofthenight_se/index.html
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns the Buffyverse. Not me.
Distribution Statement: Ask and you shall recieve.
Spoiler Warning: "Teacher's Pet"
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Contains the diaries of Buffy, Xander, Willow, Giles, Cordelia andAngel.
Dedication: Shelly, Christine and Dani

Buffy's diary

People continue to die around me. It seems like everybody I touch or lay eyes on dies or suffers in some way. A giant insect murdered Dr. Gregory, my biology teacher. Isn't it funny? I finally find a teacher I like, and what are the odds for that in the first place, and an insect eats him! I really do miss him. I thought that it finally wouldn't be so dreadful to go to school when I at least had one teacher who believed in me. I never try anymore to get good grades 'cause what profession can I possibly have in the future? I don't even have a future. A slayer dies and the next one is called. And we die young and we die lonely.

I throw myself into the combat and I fight for my right to live. I'm so afraid of losing control. If I let down my guard for just one second someone ends up dead and someday that someone will be me. Sooner or later it will happen and I will be forgotten. I'm just a slayer, just a warrior and my destiny is to die in battle. Alone as the rest of my sisters before me.

I met Angel again. I can see my own loneliness reflected in his dark eyes and when I look deeply into them it feels like I'm whole for the first time in my life and that he's the piece that's always been missing. This dark stranger fulfills me. I know his name but I know nothing about him. Although when he's around it feels like he's an old friend that has always been there. Watching over me like a guardian angel. My Angel.

But who is he?

*****

Xander's diary

Buffy makes me feel so unmanly. Why can't she be like a normal girl and let me protect her when danger shows its ugly face? Of course then we both would probably die.

I saw this Angel guy she's been talking about at the Bronze. Tall, dark, handsome.How can I compete with that? And the way he acts around her.the looks he gives her.and the looks she gives him.She never looks at me that way.

I tried to deny my feelings for her and the jealousy that was eating me up and I made myself believe that this substitute, Miss. French, was interested in me. Well, she was interesting in mating.She was.an insect. Really helps my confidence. The first and only woman interested in me turns out to be an insect.

And as if this day couldn't get any worse, Buffy, Willow and Giles, now know that I'm a virgin.

I feel less than a man. How am I ever going to make her love me now?

*****

Willow's diary

Xander almost died tonight. I can't believe it was so close that I would never see his cute smile again, his warm brown eyes.

He had a crush on a giant insect. Even an insect has it easier to get his interest than me.boring little Willow who nobody notices.

At least he's okay. I can't imagine a life without him.

*****

Giles' diary

This mystery chap, Angel, once again warned Buffy. I wonder who he is.If he's working for the good side then why doesn't he let us know who he is? Can he possibly be a Watcher?

Looks can be most deceitful I learnt today. The substitute for Dr. Gregory, and whom was this extremely lovely woman turned out to be an insect, a Shemantis, the virgin killer, which my old friend Carlyle faced in England. She kidnapped the boy, Xander, and we were right in time to save his and another young fellow's head.

I think this is an important lesson for us all to learn. Trust no one because they might all be your enemy. The vampire looks human and can at many times look innocent to fool its prey. That's how predators work and it's essential that we're aware of that when we face the creatures around us. It's under the skin were the secrets are kept and hidden.

*****

Cordelia's diary

I found a teacher in the fridge at school! Dead! Without his head! It was so disgusting. I mean the food at school is bad enough without mixing dead teachers into it. I don't think I can ever eat again. This is the best diet ever! I should have asked them to take a photo of the body and give it to me so I could have put it up on our fridge. That would have been great. Why do always my great ideas come when it's too late?

*****

Angel's diary

I can hardly think straight when I'm around her. I can't tear my eyes away from her. I don't want to miss as single motion she does. She shines of light and life. I wish I could take her in my arms and never let her go. It's hard not to touch her.

I gave her my jacket. At least now a part of me is wrapped around her small form. I have seen her wear it, stroking the leather while she gets this far away look in her eyes. I wonder what she's thinking about or who.

I wish I got a chance to once feel her little warm hand in mine. Feel her sweet lips press against mine. I know such a heavenly creature isn't meant for me but I can't stop dreaming about her. My dreams are all I have. Don't I at least deserve a little touch of hope?

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