***

Part Twelve

***DARK***

***

//i've watched this scene a thousand times
and in my head
this is how it all begins
yes, i am becoming
and this is how it all begins//

Giles was whistling as he reshelved books in the Sunnydale High School library. Waking up in the morning, knowing that the lovely Jenny Calendar was sleeping in the next room helped with the jubilant mood, as did the news of the computer program she was going to develop to translate the original Romany spell into a usable form. Buffy was among the enrolled masses now and hopefully would be matriculating with next year's graduating class. Everything was going as well as it possibly could considering they were on the Hellmouth.

"Hey Giles," Buffy said, sashaying into the library in a blouse that had inappropriately low neckline and a smile that engulfed her entire face, "What's with the happy?"

"I would ask you the same question," Giles said, his face shifting to a more serious one with the entrance of The Slayer.

"Huh?" Buffy said, setting her books on the table and plopping into the nearest chair, "Am I supposed to be upset for some reason?"

"Where are you living?" Giles said, jumping right to the point as he sat down stiffly in the chair across from her and attempted to hide his nervousness about the upcoming conversation.

"Uh...why?" she asked.

"Are you living with Angelus?"

"Angel," Buffy corrected, "and yes, I am."

"Are you...having sexual relations with the vampire?" Giles said, gripping the arms of the chair to steady his hands.

"What? You're my father now?" Buffy asked angrily.

"It's..." Giles started, trying to think of a word other than "abomination," which was the only one springing into his head right then, "It's simply not right, Buffy. You are The Slayer."

"I'm in love with him," Buffy said quietly, "And believe me, I know it's messed up. I've been trying to talk myself out of it since I met him, but I can't."

"Surely you must know that living with a vampire goes against all the Council's regulations, not to mention the fact that he could lose his soul and kill you in your sleep at any time. I cannot allow this to continue."

"You can't stop me," Buffy said firmly but gently, "and neither can the Council. He won't lose his soul and he's already proven that he's on our side. I'm not giving him up. I can't."

"I'm whole heartedly against this union," Giles said in a voice that betrayed his paternal feelings for the girl.

"Okay, now your ass is covered," Buffy said with a sigh, "You've stated it for the record."

"I'm glad he's protecting you," Giles added with a small smile.

"Me too," Buffy replied, smiling back, "Soooo, now that we've got the birds and the bees out of the way, you can tell me what's up with you and Miss Likes-The-Spells."

"I'm certain I-I don't k-know what you mean," Giles stuttered, "We have a business relationship. She's going to help us-"

"Whatever," Buffy said, standing up and gathering her books, "You like her. I can tell."

"Really, Buffy, this conversation is not appropriate."

"Don't worry," Buffy said, leaning in with a smile and a mock whisper, "Your secret's safe with me."

"Thank heavens," Giles said, standing as well.

"Ask her out," Buffy called behind her as she pushed through the double doors. Giles watched the doors swing for a couple of seconds before he returned to his desk and began to sort through his notes. He resumed the jaunty tune he had been previously whistling and couldn't keep the smile from creeping back either. Maybe he would ask her out.

***

//runs up my arms 'til i'm on track
itches my skin right off my back
i'll heal your wounds
i'll set you free//

"Great news, pet," Spike said strutting into the bedroom he shared with Drusilla. He sat on the bed at her side and stroked her hair smiling, "As soon as the egghead gets the key, we'll be in business...and we've got help."

"You've been unfaithful, Spike," Drusilla pouted, scooting away from him.

"No baby," he said, "I had to convince her to help us."

"You smell red," she said as her eyes took on their dazed look as they always did when the air spoke to her, "Dirty and red."

"Dirty, huh?" Willow said, leaning against the doorframe, crossing one leg over the other, "I just screwed him. I didn't even get to torture him at all."

"You better be as bloody smart as you say you are," Spike said, storming past the redhead and out into the next room. He waited for her to follow and then began his tirade, "It's bad enough that she knows that I've cheated on her with you and you show up in our bedroom? What the hell is your problem? I don't fancy losing my mate, so you better do what you said you would."

"Bored now," Willow said with a yawn.

"You're such a bitch!" Spike shouted.

"And you're so much more fun when you're screwing," she said, "I'll keep my end of the deal. And you'd better keep yours."

"I won't kill Peaches," Spike promised as she turned to leave, grateful that the encounter had been a lot less painful than he thought it would be.

"Better not," Willow called over her shoulder as she left the crypt. Spike shuddered as she disappeared through the doorway. And he thought Darla was an evil whore. Compared to Willow, Darla looked innocent and sweet.

"Spike?" Drusilla said, moving weakly across the room to him.

"Yeah, love?" he said, hurrying to her side and sweeping her into his arms.

"The ritual will kill my Angel."

"I know," he said with a smile, "But she doesn't know that."

***

//my> blood just wants to say hello to you
my fear is warm to get inside of you
my soul is so afraid to realize
how every little bit is left of me
and i want you//

Angel stepped into the shower wondering if the days were ever this long before he met Buffy. He always hated being cooped up inside all day but since he met his lover, the time she was at school crawled by. Today he occupied himself with the memory of making love to her all night. He couldn't imagine how she was going to make it through the school day without snoozing in all her classes since she got two hours of sleep.

Maybe one and half.

He grinned at the shower wall as he reached for the shampoo. Pausing, he reached for hers rather than his and smelled it. He loved that smell. The company that manufactured that product could triple the price and he would still buy it for her. He set the bottle back up on the rack and retrieved his with a smile. It didn't really matter what her hair smelled like. It didn't really matter if she had hair at all as long as she was his.

He blinked through the water as the shower curtain slid aside and the naked body of the goddess in question stepped inside.

"Buffy," Angel said with surprise.

"Hi," she said, smoothing her hands over his wet chest and placing a tiny kiss on his neck.

"Aren't you supposed to be in school?" he asked, as her small hands moved over his skin, "Not that I'm complaining, of course."

"It's lunchtime," she answered, placing kisses along his chest.

"Oh," he said, wrapping his arms around her and leaning down to catch her lips, "Students are allowed to leave campus for lunch?"

"I didn't say that," she said with a wicked smile.

"Breaking the rules on the first week of school?" he asked with a twinkle in his eye.

"I missed you," she said.

***

//she has the blood of reptile just underneath her skin//

Willow crept through the tunnels and climbed up into the basement of Sunnydale High School. She was still angry that Spike would think she was so stupid that she wouldn't take the time to research the ritual he was performing on Puppy. Did he think he fucked her brains out or was he just bloody dense? If anyone was going to get the pleasure of killing Puppy, it was going to be her. She wanted to laugh when she thought about how he was going to react when his minions went to the Du Lac crypt and found the Cross of Du Lac missing.

She nearly squealed with delight as she saw the Slayer bouncing by, stinking of Puppy. His scent practically oozed off the girl and Willow swallowed her growl. The girl looked guilty and happy at the same time, hurrying through the empty halls. The vampire smiled evilly at the girl as she passed. She was already addicted to Angel. Not that she was surprised at all. Every woman who had a taste panted for more. But Willow had other plans. She wanted Angel to beg for her. She wanted to see him crawl again. Visions of his bloody blonde lover writhing on the floor in pain, dying slowly, banged around happily in her mind as she watched Buffy pass by.

She looked around quickly before she tightened her grip on the iron bar she had picked up in the sewers, leaped from her hiding place, swung and contacted with the girl's temple. Buffy didn't even hit the floor, before Willow slung her limp body over her shoulder. Pivoting, she ducked back into the basement, slamming the door behind her.

***

//i'll cross my heart
i'll hope to die
but the needle's already in my eye
and all the world's weight is on my back
and i don't even know why
what i used to think was me is just a fading memory
i looked her right in the eye and said goodbye//

Angel stormed out of the mansion at night fall trying to keep from panicking. Buffy hadn't come home yet and although he knew she was going to train with Giles, she always made it home before sun down. A nagging feeling in his gut kept telling him that something was terribly wrong. He nearly collided with Oz as he hurried through the door. Oz sidestepped the barging vampire and nodded his greeting.

"Looking for Buffy," Oz said.

"I knew something was wrong," Angel growled, his eyes flashing golden seconds before his face transformed into his demon visage.

"That's kinda unnerving," Oz admitted, looking over Angel's face.

"Sorry. Giles hasn't seen her?" Angel asked as he began walking toward the cemetery.

"She didn't show up to train after school and she missed our 4th period class," Oz answered, double timing it to keep up with him. Angel stopped suddenly and released a snarl as he turned around, eyes searching in the dark.

"Missing something?" Spike said moving out from the shadows and flicking his cigarette over his Sire's shoulder.

"Get the hell out of here," Angel ordered Oz and turned back to Spike, "Where is she, Spike?"

"Probably dead by now," Spike said with a shrug, "But I'm not sure. It's sad, really, she was such a fine little piece of ass. Maybe I'll go try her out before-"

"Where is she?" Angel shouted, picking Spike off the ground by the lapels of his coat.

"Being tortured," Spike choked, "Nice and slow like you like it."

"First you die," Angel growled, tossing him roughly to the ground, "Then I'll ask Dru."

"You can't kill me," Spike said, standing up and dusting himself off confidently.

"Really?" Angel said, moving toward his Grande Childe. Before he was even able to pull the stake from his pocket, he was already on the ground with a tranquilizer dart protruding from the back of his neck.

"Nice shot, numbskull," Spike said to his minion angrily, "What took you so bloody long? Did you think I wanted to catch up with my Sire for a spell before he dusted me?"

"Sorry, the gun was jammed -"

"Oh shut up," Spike muttered.

***

//awake to the sound as they peel apart the skin
they pick and they pull
trying to get their fingers in//

Buffy winced in pain as she struggled to open her eyes. She immediately discovered that she was chained to the wall when she tried to move and she groaned in pain. She looked around the room and seconds later her eyes landed on the female vampire who had taken her.

"Hi there," Willow said with a smile as Buffy blinked to regain her focus, "Glad you woke up. I was startin' to think that I hit ya too hard."

"Thanks for your concern," Buffy muttered, "Where am I?"

"Puppy's old apartment," Willow said gleefully, "And you know what's so great about this? He would never think to look for you here. It's just perfect."

"Glad you think so," Buffy said, "What do you want with me? Why didn't you just kill me?"

"Aww, I just wanna chat," she answered with a smile, "Oh, and then I'll torture and kill you. But that's later."

"Nice to know I have something to look forward to," Buffy said, closing her eyes for a second to overcome the dizzy spell that came over her.

"I want Puppy to watch you die," Willow said, "I wanna see the look on his face when I kill you."

"Do you always rename the people you torture?" Buffy snapped.

"Just the special ones," Willow whispered, "And he's special."

"Know what's gonna be special? Watching you explode into a big, slutty pile of dust," Buffy said with a glare, "And I hope I'm behind that stake."

"I knew you'd be fun," Willow said moving closer. Buffy began pulling on her chains, only to find that she was barely able to move. Light reflected off the dagger in the vampiress' hand as she crouched before The Slayer.

***

//thinks he has something to say//

"Okay, this has got to be the longest week in history," Oz said as he entered Giles' apartment, heaving breaths.

"You didn't find Buffy?" Giles asked, standing from his desk and glancing over at Jenny who was still hunched over her laptop.

"No," Oz said, "I think she's been taken. Angel and I ran into Spike at the cemetery."

"This is just great," Giles said, taking off his glasses and fumbling for his hankerchief.

"No, this is great," Jenny announced, grinning excitedly at her laptop.

"You got it?" Oz asked, moving across the room to look over her shoulder and reading out loud, "'The Ritual of Restoration.'"

"Yes," she said nodding, "See, Rupert? The marvels of modern technology! Let's see one of your dusty books do this."

"Yes, well," Giles said, looking over her other shoulder, "They smell strange."

"They don't smell," Jenny said, wrinkling her brow in confusion, "It's plastic."

"Precisely," Giles said, nodding, "They have no texture, no warmth. They're simply-"

"Guys?" Oz interrupted, "Can we argue about this later? If we curse Willow, maybe she can help save Buffy."

"Right. Sorry," Giles said, before turning back to Jenny, "What do we need?"

"Well, we need your paperweight, for one," Jenny said, palming the Orb of Thesala with a blinding smile. Giles lost himself in her eyes for a second before clearing his throat and grabbing a pen and paper to make a list of supplies.

***

//what did he say
what words did you speak
that's what i want to know
now
tell me
now now
all of it
now,
tell me//

Angel stirred sooner than Spike and his minions expected. As they dragged his body into the lair, he woke up and as if he hadn't been drugged, he found his footing. He ripped the dart gun off the fledgling's shoulder, tearing the vampire's arm from his body in the process. Raising the gun, Angel shot Spike, knocking him out cold.

One vampire writhed on the ground in pain and the other moved forward to attack, trembling in fear. Angel reached in his pocket and found the stake he tried to get to earlier. He let out a snarl as he engaged the weaker vampire. He quickly staked him and turned on the other, who was attempting to stand. He screamed as Angel approached and started to run away. Angel caught the hysterical childe and staked him quickly, watching in interest for a second as his arm fell to dust across the room, separate from the body. Stepping over Spike, he headed for the bedroom.

"My Angel," Drusilla said, rising to her feet.

"Where's The Slayer, Dru?"

"You hurt me," she said, backing away. Angel crossed the room and slammed her into the wall, eyes glowing angrily.

"Where is Buffy?" he shouted, "I'm tired of this crazy girl routine. You are capable of lucid thought. I know you are. Now where is she?"

"Willow," Dru answered, "She took the girl."

"Where?"

"She's not here. She's somewhere else," she answered.

"Great," Angel said, turning away. Drusilla, knowing he was her key to being returned to health, moved after him. Raising her fist, she prepared to strike. Angel sidestepped and grabbed her arm. Twisting, he flipped her over his hip. As she hit the ground, he thrust the stake in her chest hard enough to jam it into the ground under her.

He stayed there on one knee for a moment, looking at the dust that used to be his obsession. He stood slowly and walked out into the main chamber. Only one Childe left and his family would be gone. When he entered the room, he looked down at the place Spike had been. His eyes flitted across the room, following the trail made by his body being dragged across the room. He paused for a second and went toward the exit instead. Spike could wait. He had to find Willow and Buffy.

***

Part Thirteen

***

//blame it on the black star
blame it on the falling sky//

Spike opened his eyes, feeling groggy and confused. As the memory of what had happened reached him, he sat up quickly and looked around the dark room. The only thing he found was Dalton trembling in the corner, far from his reach.

"What the hell?" Spike said, standing up, "Where's Angel?"

"G-gone," Dalton answered, "He left."

"Dru!" Spike said, walking toward the main chamber, planning on checking the bedroom on the other side.

"Master," the fledgling begged, "Drusilla isn't there."

"What do you mean she isn't there," Spike demanded as he kept walking, speeding up as he went, "Where the bloody hell would she be if she weren't here?"

"S-she's...not...s-she's," the vampire said, trying to find the best way to broach the subject as he chased after his Sire.

"Drusilla!" Spike screamed, already feeling her absence and denying it. She was his Sire and he knew better than the brainy vamp chasing after him that he wouldn't find her in that bedroom. He wouldn't find her anywhere.

"He, he killed her," Dalton said, catching up with Spike at the bedroom door. The blonde vampire stood there, looking down at the stake that was sticking out of the floor like a grave marker, surrounded by the light ashy remains of what had been his mate. Dalton stared at his Sire's back for a long time as he stood unmoving, staring at the same small spot near the door.

"Angel killed her," Dalton whispered again after a long silence.

"I see that you soddin' ponce!" Spike screamed, turning around so that Dalton could see the tears that streamed down his ridged face, "I can see that my mate is dead. You think I'm fucking blind?"

Spike struck out, ramming his fist into the younger vampire's face, causing his glasses to break and fall away from his face with the second punch. He kept hitting him, dragging him back to his feet and hitting him again until he finally turned, grabbed the stake from the floor and destroyed the demon he had created.

He fell to his knees slowly, crumpling into a pile not unlike her ashes and sobbed for the loss of his mate. A hole inside him spread out in all directions with the loss of her, as if she had filled him up all this time and without her he was nothing. The minutes that he allowed himself to mourn her were filled completely with his despair, each second ticked out a turbulent anguish.

Finally, he stood and wiped his dusty face with the back of his hand and gripped the stake, heading toward the door. He knew then that he hadn't died almost a century and a half before when she placed her poisoned lips to his neck, he died an hour ago when she did. One vampire was responsible for her dying, first from sanity, then from life and finally from unlife. Spike stormed out of the sewers and into the fresh night air to begin his search for his Grande Sire. *** //if you give up on me now,
i'll be gutted like i've never been before//

Willow giggled like a delighted child as Buffy groaned in pain from the tiny slices the was making all over her skin. She licked the red lines of blood as they appeared, feeling empowered by Slayer blood. It was unlike any she had ever tasted and it kept her coming back for more, making another slice and lapping up the crimson treat.

"I can see why he likes you," Willow said, leaning back on her haunches and tilting her head to meet Buffy's eyes, "You're so tasty."

"I can see why he wanted to get the hell away from you," Buffy said weakly, leaning against the wall. She tried to keep her head from lolling to the side, but the pain from the cuts along with the head wound was making her woozier by the second. She wasn't sure how much time had passed...hours, days maybe and the pain kept coming, affliction followed by the slow lapping of the vampire's pink tongue on her skin.

"You smell like him, you know," Willow said, carving into her leg, "Vampires can smell other vampires. We can track the scent of a mate from miles away."

"Then he'll find me," Buffy answered.

"I said 'mate,'" Willow said laughing and licking the edge of her blade, "You're human. You really don't think he's capable of loving you, do ya? Cause you're gonna be disappointed."

"That's a little prejudiced, don't you think?"

"Not really," Willow said, "You're a meal - a delicious one, but just food. He knows that too. Every time looks at you, he thinks about breaking into your soft skin. If I wasn't planning on killing you myself, I would want to watch him the night he lost control and sucked you dry. Mmmm...can't you picture it?"

Willow leaned her head back and closed her eyes, licking her lips as she whispered, "He's inside you. You're begging for more. He bends down and kisses your neck, his chest against yours, loving the feel of your hard nipples scraping his chest. Then he tastes you...you feel your head spinning. He keeps drinking your blood, laced with your arousal and adrenaline. It tastes better than honey and he...can't...stop."

"That's an interesting story," Buffy mumbled, trying to keep talking just so she remained conscious, trying to keep the blind panic from reaching her mind, trying to keep herself from imagining Willow's scenario with perfect accuracy right down to the final breath, "But here's the problem: You think you're going to be his mate? Here's a little tip from a meal to a fiend: He hates your guts. He'll never be yours."

"We'll see," Willow said, opening her eyes with Buffy's words and leaning back in. She traced the girl's face with the blade, rolling in the sound of the gasp of pain and the horror in her eyes, "I have a convincing way about me."

Willow stood and looked over Buffy, admiring her handiwork. The waifish little human was cut all over, sliced up so severely that the entire apartment smelled of fresh blood. All the sampling of The Slayer made her hungry. She was starving as she inspected her and although she couldn't wait to see her die, she wanted Puppy to be there when it happened. The picture was so beautiful in her mind that she had a soft, almost ethereal smile on her pale face as she left the apartment.

***

//and either way you turn, i'll be there, open up your skull
i'll be there, climbing up the walls//

"Angel," Oz said, coming out the magic shop with the supplies they needed to bind Willow's soul.

"Oz," Angel said, growling loudly in the dark.

"Still unnerved," Oz admitted, staring into his golden eyes.

"You should be," Angel said, "Your girlfriend has Buffy. When I find her, she dies."

"But we have the spell," Oz said, holding up the brown bag of ingredients as if they were proof of Willow's soul, "We can restore her soul and she'll save Buffy."

"All bets are off boy," Angel growled returning to his search, "You'd better restore her soul before she kills Buffy. If I find her..."

"Angel!" Oz called as Angel became one of the shadows and disappeared. He turned and ran back to his van, hurdling into his seat and revving the engine before peeling away from the curb. Giles' house was only a couple of miles from the magic shop, but those miles stretched long and wide before they became the destination. Oz ran into the flat, pushing the bag into Jenny's hands.

"Were you chased?" Giles asked, looking out into the darkness as he shut the door.

"We have to do the spell right now," Oz shouted.

"Well, we weren't planning on doing it tomorrow," Jenny said as she began setting things up. Giles moved to Jenny's side to help her, glancing back at the normally calm, taciturn boy every few seconds trying to ascertain if he had completely lost his mind.

"Angel's going to kill her if he finds her first," Oz said, moving back toward the door, "I'm going to look for her."

"Oz," Giles said, holding out his hand as if the motion in the air would cause the boy to pause, "It's dangerous. She's dangerous."

Oz ignored the statement as he ran back out the door, leaving it open behind him. It didn't matter if he closed it anyway. Most of the things in Sunnydale that they should worry about entering needed an invitation first.

***

//i will stop, i will stop at nothing//

Angel tried to keep control as he moved quickly through the streets and alleys. He smelled her blood and knew that she was in pain and somewhere nearby. He turned into Willy's, following the smell of her through the doors. He headed for the bar and knocked a vampire and a demon from their bar stools. He leaned over the counter and dragged Willy closer to him, baring his teeth as Willy slammed into the wooden barrier between them.

"H-hey, Angel," Willy said, trying to be casual as usual, "How's it goin' man?"

"Where's The Slayer?"

"I don't know nothing about that, man," Willy said as the air seemed to become thicker around him, "I keep to myself these days."

"Where's Buffy?" Angel screamed, hauling the smaller man over the bar and tossing him across the room. He landed on a poker game and the table broke out from under him as the demons around it scooted back to avoid him falling on them.

"That crazy redhead took her," Willy groaned, "I don't know where, though, I swear."

"I smell her blood in here!" Angel shouted, picking him up and holding him off the ground, "That bitch was in here and she's tasted The Slayer. Now tell me where she went or I start dusting off my torture skills."

"Some abandoned place," Willy choke, "That's all I know. She came in here and killed a couple of my patrons and left. That's all."

"If I get there too late, I'm coming back for you," Angel growled, dropping him to the floor. He stopped cold as he heard a low growl. He raised his head slowly and growled back.

"You won't be back for him," Spike snarled from the doorway, "I'm going to kill your sorry ass and then I'm going to find your little Rebecca of Sunnyhell and I'm going to kill her just for you, Peaches."

"I don't have time for you, Spike," Angel said, walking towards the door, which just so happened to be where Spike was standing.

"You had time to dust my mate," Spike growled.

"Self defense," Angel said, standing directly in front of him, "She shouldn't've tried to kill me. Besides, you tried to kill mine."

Angel waited and caught the hand that tried to force the stake into his chest. He kicked Spike out of the door as he felt the vampire presence in the room edging toward him to aide in the vengeance. They all knew that Angel was in league with The Slayer and now that he had singlehandedly destroyed the strongest vampires in Sunnydale, something had to be done.

Spike flew into the alley and landed roughly against the wall across from Willy's front door. He jumped to his feet immediately and moved back toward Angel who was shifting to the right, preparing to run from the entourage of demons at his back.

"You boys are so cute," Willow purred, stepping out of the shadows, "Too bad I'm only going to keep one of you. I like puppies on chains."

Angel snarled at her words and forgot the demons behind him as he charged her. He stopped as a white and black van drove into the alley, attempting to block his path from Willow. Oz leaned out of the window with his bow and shook his head no.

"Stay out of this Oz," Angel growled, moving forward, "She'd kill you the second she had a chance."

"No," Oz said, releasing an arrow and hitting Angel's left shoulder. Reloading, he kept his eyes on the vampires around him, "I don't want to kill you."

"You're gonna have to," Angel answered, pulling the arrow from his shoulder without flinching. He held it up and smiled coldly, "And thanks for the weapon."

"This is fun," Willow said, leaning against the van and winking at the team of enemies at Angel's back. At a standstill, everyone paused for a second until Willow's painful gasp sounded. She fell to her knees, eyes glowing a mystical orange and Angel took to the opportunity to run forward. He yanked her off the ground and held her against his chest as he backed away. After a few steps, he spun and ran, carrying Willow with him. He heard the pounding feet of the vampires who chased after him and the tires of the van as it backed out of the alley at a high speed.

"Angel," Oz shouted, pulling along side the vampire, "Get in."

Angel opened the door and tossed Willow in. He dove in after her as Oz hit the gas and left their followers behind. //sometimes i get overcharged that's when you see sparks//

"Where is she?" Angel shouted inside the van at the dazed girl.

"Who?" Willow asked, shaking her head in confusion. She looked over at the driver and started to crawl toward her boyfriend when Angel pulled her back.

"Buffy!" Angel shouted, gripping her shoulders and rattling her violently.

"Buffy?"

"She doesn't remember," Angel said, hanging his for a moment and then explaining to Oz, who looked slightly confused, "When you first get your soul back it takes a little while to remember what happened. Stop the van."

"What?" Oz asked.

"Stop the van, I'm getting out," Angel said.

"She'll remember soon, right? I mean, if you wait she can just tell us."

"She's taken a lot of Buffy's blood," Angel answered jumping out, "I can't wait for her to remember. I have to find her now."

Angel got out and started running. He wasn't even sure which direction he was traveling in as he ran. All he knew was that Willow smelled so strongly of Buffy's blood that it made his insides twist.

***

//i think you're crazy, maybe
i think you're crazy, maybe//

Spike kept running after the van and soon found himself alone. He turned around and a group of vampires were standing there, preparing to turn back in defeat.

"What's wrong with you people?" Spike demanded, "You give up after four feet? Angelus killed my mate and most of our kin in this bloody town."

"They're gone," one answered, taking sidelong glances at his foes, hoping they would back him up.

Spike growled and marched over to the one who dared to speak. He dusted him quickly with the stake he had been holding and turned to the others while shoving it in his pocket, shouting out instructions of places to look. They immediately moved to obey his orders, each of them afraid that they would be the next one to meet the pointy end of the stake. Spike turned on his heel and headed for the Watcher's flat. He broke into a run as the hatred and pain continued to course through his system. He didn't have much more of the night left.

***

//and for a minute there, i lost myself, i lost myself
and for a minute there, i lost myself, i lost myself//

Angel looked at his old apartment building in confusion for a second before following his intuition and the scent of her blood inside. He kicked in his own door and looked around the room. His eyes landed on her body, lying in a small pool of her own blood. He said her name as he skidded across the floor and dropped to his knees at her side.

"Buffy," he said, touching her bloody face gently and yanking his hand back as if she had hissed in pain, even though she hadn't moved. He checked her pulse and thanked the Powers that she was still alive. She had wrenched the radiator that her chains were secured to from the wall completely and managed to free herself. His eyes followed the trail of blood that marked her struggled movements halfway across the room before she had lost consciousness.

He pulled her into his arms and headed back out the door with her broken body in his arms, running for the hospital. The medical staff stared at him strangely as he ran in screaming for help. Angel didn't have to reach up and touch his face to know that he had reverted to human form so he figured they must have been reacting to his panic. They were, however, reacting to the demonic glowing yellow of his eyes and the growled tone in each of his words as he demanded that they save her life. ***

//they're> cursing me
and they won't let me be
there's nothing to say
and there's nothing to do//

Oz helped Willow out of the van and stopped cold when she hit the invisible barrier outside of Giles' apartment. Giles and Jenny stood at the door and looked out the them warily.

"Did it work?" Giles asked, looking over her for signs of residual evil.

"Yeah. Invite her in," Oz answered, holding her more tightly against him.

She leaned heavily on his shoulder as the memories began to flood her mind.

"Oh my God," she whispered, jerking as if she were being beaten. She pulled away from Oz, staring at the scar on his neck, holding her hand up to her mouth.

"It's okay, baby," he said back gently, "Everything's going to be okay now."

She shook her head and looked over at Giles with tears streaming down her cheeks. The Watcher's eyes softened as he looked over the face of the girl who had once been his favorite student. He saw the pain racking her body as she remembered at a velocity that forced her to the ground. She vomited into the grass, whimpering in pain and as Oz neared, she looked up at him and screamed for him to stop.

"Don't come near me," she cried, "Don't touch me."

"Willow," Oz whispered, looking over her with the same love he had always had for her.

"No," she answered shaking her head, "Not Willow. Not anymore."

"Got that right," Spike said, running into the middle of the group and looking down on her, "This is just bloody pathetic."

Willow got up and forced herself into motion, running away from him, but he caught up with her, pulling her close to his face, "Don't think so, pet. We got some business to finish."

"Get away from her," Oz said, standing there empty handed with nothing but his anger and love to defend her.

"Ooh, I'm afraid. No, really. I am," Spike said, nodding sarcastically, "Run along little boy. I have a bit 'o business with your girl and then I'll be gone."

Willow leaned against Spike, pressing her face against the cold leather of his coat as if the oxygen her body no longer needed was stored there. He smoothed his hand over her hair almost holding her up.

"It's time to go," Willow whispered, looking up into his deadly blue eyes.

"That's right, love," he answered, caressing her face. He wanted nothing more than to torture her until he felt better. This was all her fault anyway. If she hadn't gotten into the middle of everything, he would be sitting in the Master's chair with Drusilla by his side. If she thought her new found harrowed humanity was going to keep him from making her his slave, she was wrong.

When Willow looked into his eyes, she saw nothing but evil and darkness, which seemed strange in eyes so bright and beautiful. A cloud of hate wrapped around abysmal bitterness inside him. The attack of his glare was what made her reach into his pocket and fondle the stake that he had there.

Staring into his eyes, lost in the darkness, she destroyed him. Her eyes followed his ashes to the ground and she stared at them for a moment before turning around to look at the shocked faces of Oz, Giles and Jenny.

"I love you," she said, looking longingly over at her former lover before raising the stake to her chest.

"NO!" Oz screamed as he ran toward her. Unable to stop himself, he tunneled through her dust, wrapping his arms around the body that was no longer there.

***

//you> are the sun the moon and stars
ah you... and i could never run away from you//

"Buffy Summers," Giles said to the nurse clad in all white, sitting behind a large desk. He wondered why all nurses stations were so thick across, as if they needed a wide barrier from the germs that came in with visitors.

"Are you her father?" the nurse asked, looking over the handsome British man's hands for a wedding band.

"No, I'm her guardian," he answered, "Rupert Giles."

"I'm so glad to see someone else to visit her," the nurse said, standing and walking around the station to lead him to the room. She leaned in confidentially as she neared the door, "There's a young man in there and...we think...there's something wrong with him. He's...not normal and we're all convinced he's insane."

Giles looked through the small square window at Angel who sat on the edge of her bed, looking down at her. Even from the side profile, he could see Angel's eyes were glowing yellow.

"Ah," Giles said nodding, trying to think of a convincing excuse for Angel, "Yes. He hasn't been well either, I'm afraid."

"No, that's not what I mean," the nurse whispered, looking over Giles suspiciously, "He growled at everyone who went in there and his eyes..."

"I assure you," Giles said with a charming smile, "He'll not hurt anyone. He's perfectly normal. His eyes are just...yes, they rather make me nervous too sometimes."

Giles turned toward the door and took a deep breath before walking in. The yellow eyes that landed on him made him more than nervous, but he kept going, knowing that the nurse was staring through that little window.

***

//when you were here before
couldn't look you in the eye
you're just like an angel
your skin makes me cry//

"Between you and Giles, I'm going to go crazy," Buffy complained the next evening from her hospital bed, "I want to go home. I may look horrible but I'm fine."

"You're going to stay until they release you," Angel said firmly, sitting down next to her and looking over her wounds, "And so am I."

"You could at least stop glaring at people," Buffy added, "You're scaring the shit out of everyone. I think I heard a couple of nurses say you were the anti-christ or something."

"What's wrong with protecting my mate?" Angel stubbornly demanded. Buffy looked down at her mauled body, following the marks where her skin used to be. Mate? It was one thing to be in love with someone who had a single scar across her mouth, but what if all the wounds scarred, leaving her looking freakish forever?

"What's wrong?" Angel said, touching her hand. Buffy pulled away and leaned away from him, which only made him lean in futher, "What is it, love?"

"What if I stay like this?" She asked with tearing eyes.

"Like what?" Angel asked, looking over her for some unseen clue as to what she was talking about, "You mean your wounds?"

"What if they all...scar and..." She said. He knew she kept talking but with the sound of her sobs, he missed the rest of the sentence.

"I love you," he said, gathering her into his arms, "I don't care if you don't have skin at all."

"How could you be attracted to this?" She asked, rubbing her arm and the marks that lined it.

"Buffy," Angel said, "The scars will fade but I don't care either way. Nothing could make you less beautiful in my eyes."

"But-"

"But nothing," he said , looking into her eyes, "I love you, baby. That's the whole point. You're alive. Nothing else matters."

Buffy's tears were not stopped by Angel's words but flowed more freely. She couldn't understand, couldn't begin to comprehend what he could love about her now. She had taken a peek in the mirror earlier while she was in the bathroom and nearly threw up from what she saw. Her hideous reflection seemed to mock her and the imaginary laugh it made echoed off the sterile white tiles.

"How could you love this?" she asked again. Angel looked into her eyes for a moment and shifted to his game face. He allowed her a moment to take in the ridges of his face, his sharp fangs and his golden eyes before he asked back, "How could you love this?"

***

//immerse your soul in love//

The hospital was so quiet it woke Buffy up in the middle of the night. She itched to leave and if Angel wasn't lying there next to her, much to the dismay of the hospital staff, she would have already slipped away. But as it was, she loved that his arm curled around her, large fingers across her belly, holding her tightly against his bare chest. She was amazed that in his sleep he could hold her so tightly.

She shifted slightly and was surprised to feel his arousal brush her as she moved. She was just as shocked at her own immediate response to him and she quickly looked over her shoulder to see him looking down at her with a sheepish smile on his face.

"How long have you been awake?" she asked, pressing against the hardness that strained against his pants even though she inwardly told herself not to.

"About ten minutes," he whispered, "Long enough to drive myself crazy looking at you."

"Really?" she asked, turning over and accepting the kiss that he placed on her lips. She tilted her head up as the kiss deepened, basking in her lover.

"Angel," she whispered, scolding him, "We're in a hospital and I'm all gross."

"'Gross' wasn't the word that I was thinking," he growled softly kissing her again.

"We cannot do this here," she protested, moving against him even as she spoke.

"Why not?" he countered, pulling free the flimsy ties in the back of her gown.

"Nurses and orderlies and patients," she answered as one cool hand palmed her breast. He shot her a sly smile as he shifted her onto her back and removed the hindering cloth from her body.

"I don't think they'll be checking on you at 4:00 in the morning," he answered against her skin. He moved methodically over her body, kissing each wound, attempting to love her pain away. Soft, slow kisses doted on each slice and every bruise.

The nurse was finishing her rounds and as she passed by room 214, she glanced in and found herself backtracking to take a better look. She stared through the window at the pair without even trying to tear herself away as the formerly violent and crazy young man made love to the wounded blonde girl.

Unblinking, she watched, listening to their moans as his hands moved over the angry lines on her body in a way that seemed almost like...worship. She leaned in as he began whispering to her, looking directly in her eyes as he moved inside her. The girl stared back with the same sort of adoration, her pretty scarred face covered in ecstasy.

"I thought I lost you," he whispered, intertwining his fingers with hers, "I didn't think I was going to find you in time."

"You did," she answered, wrapping her legs around his waist and arching against him, "You found me. Saved me."

"No," he whispered, "I think you saved me."

The nurse moved away from the door and felt her eyes filling up with tears. She sat back down at the nurses station and looked around the empty walls as she thought about what she had seen. She would give everything to have a love like that. Moments later, she blushed in her chair as the lovers cried out in the dark, the sound of their lovemaking echoing down the hallways and causing the building to swell.

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