I know I should have been working on Baby Blues when I wrote this but ... well... I wasn't. I started this awhile ago, but stopped. Then I got an idea on how to finish it, so I just had to work on this.
This is my first POV fic, please let me know what you think!
Spoilers: IWRY
Disclaimer: I own nothing BtVS or Angel related.
Summary: What if it was Buffy who went to the Oracles in the end of "IWRY", instead of Angel? Buffy's POV.
Thanks: Big thanks to my awesome beta's Deb and Gemma! You guys are the best!
Author's Notes: I started this Fanfic quite a while ago, but got stuck on it. I finally got an idea on how to finish it. Also, this is my first try at a point of view fic.
Note2: Lets just say for the sake of this fic that Buffy knows about Oracles and knows how to access them. Pretend she learned it from Giles or something to that affect.
I sit on the edge of the bed and watch the gentle rise and fall of my Angel's chest as he sleeps.
The sheet has slipped down to his waist and I can see the bruises that are scattered across his chest. Bruises from the fight with the Mohra demon. The fight he almost lost. If I hadn't shown up when I did....
*Stop it* I tell myself. I lean over and kiss him softly on his cheek. I put my hand on his chest, where his heart is, savouring the feel of his heartbeat, knowing it could be the last time I ever feel it.
"I love you," I whisper softly, as I get up and walk out of the room.
*****
I close my eyes against the blinding light that flashes as I finish the incantation that should, if I did it right; grant me access to the knowing ones, the Oracles. As the light fades away I open my eyes and see two beings, a man and a woman, of a glittery gold color appear in front of me.
"What have you brought us, lower being?" the male demands of me, in an annoyed tone.
*Uh, oh* I think, *I was supposed to bring something?* "Oh, um...I."
"You beseech access to us, but bring no gift?" he asks.
"Uh, no! No, I did. bring one... It's somewhere..." I lied, patting the pockets of my dress for something to give them. I touch the cross necklace that hangs around my neck. The necklace I have worn nearly every day since Angel gave it to me in the alley after I knocked him on his ass gave it to me.
I reach behind me and undo the clasp. "Here," I say, reluctantly holding the cross out to them. It flies from my hand into the woman's hand.
She holds it up to inspect it. "This means a great deal to you, does it not?"
"Yes, it does," I answer sadly, thinking about the man I love with all my heart and soul. "Angel gave it to me."
"Enough chatter," the man orders. "Why have you bothered us, lower being?"
"I came about Angel."
"What about him? He's human, isn't that what you've always wanted?"
"Yes, of course," I snap, furious that he'd think I don't want this. This is something I've wished and prayed for since I realized I was in love with him. "It's not even a question of that."
"Then what is it?"
"It's just... He takes risks for me. And now that he's human, it's gonna get him hurt or killed. Last night he almost died."
"How does this concern us?"
"If he dies you lose your most powerful warrior. I want..." I pause and take a deep a breath. "I want you to change him back. He may hate me for it but at least he'll be around to hate me."
"What is done can not be undone. We cannot help you."
I nearly burst out laughing at the thought of what I'm about to do next. If I weren't so desperate and serious, this would be hilarious. Me, Buffy Summers, about to beg for the love of my life to be changed back to what he was before, a creature of the night, a vampire.
"But you have to!" I argue. "For the last four and a half years I have risked my life to keep this world safe. All I want in return is for Angel to be safe. If you can't turn him back, at least give him strength. Damn it; give him mine if you have to. Just keep him safe," I cry desperately.
"Please."
"What is done cannot be undone," he repeats. "We cannot help you."
"So, this is it. You're not even going to try. I've wasted my time. I hear myself let out a short laugh. I should have known. You and your higher powers don't care about anything but yourselves. Well, you know what? I hope you're happy, because if anything happens to Angel, you won't just be losing one warrior, you'll be losing the both of us." I turn and walk to the bright light that I had enter through.
As I was about to step through the light, the female oracle, whom had been silent, finally spoke
"Together you are strong, apart you will weaken."
I stop walking and turn around to face them again. "Come again?"
"As long as you and lover stay together, you will both maintain your strength, agility and healing abilities. The further apart you get, the weaker you will be," she explains.
I nod. It sounds like a good enough deal for me. Being with Angel at all times to keep our strength, who could ask for more. There's just one thing... "This togetherness, do you mean physically or emotionally or what?"
"Both emotionally and physically. Do not worry, warrior. As long you and Angel stay together and fight side by side, nothing will be able to overcome you."
"Okay, got it." I smile at her and give her the thumbs up. "Thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to me!"
"Why are you doing this?" the male demands of the female oracle.
"She loves him deeply and would obviously give up everything keep the man she loves safe. Besides," she admits, "I have a soft spot for lovers."
"Fine," the male snaps, not at all pleased with her decision. "Do as you wish." He turns to me.
"Be gone and don't bother us again."
With a wave of his hand, the room is gone and I am standing alone in the room under the post office.
*****
"Where were you?" Angel asks worriedly as I descend the stairs into his apartment.
He looks as if he has been pacing in front of the stairs for hours, his usually spiky hair is sticking out in all directions, as if he has run his hands through it a million times. I really must have scared him when I disappeared this morning, leaving only a note, saying that I'd be back soon, even though at the time, I didn't know if that would be true.
"I've been worried sick." He rushes over to me and pulls me into a tender hug, burying his head in my shoulder.
"I'm sorry," I apologize, as I tighten my hold on him and run my hands up and down his back, in a reassuring motion, "I didn't mean to frighten you."
Tears begin cascading down my cheeks as I realize that I had almost given all this up. I had almost given up being able to hold him in my arms and love him, and just plain be with him in any way possible.
Angel pull back to look at me. "You're crying," He wipes at the tears with his thumb. "Why? What's wrong? Has something happened?"
"No. I'm fine. Everything's fine." I placed my hand over Angel's beating heart. "That's the best feeling in the world," I smile softly through my tears.
"No," Angel disagrees. "Being with you is the best feeling. That's only the second best." He leans down and kisses me softly. "Now, tell me why you're crying."
I take him by the hand and lead him to the couch. "You promise you won't hate me?" I'm worried that he might hate me when I tell what I did...err. almost did.
"Buffy, there's nothing you could do that would make me hate you. It's just not possible," he replies with a small smile.
"Maybe," I frown and gaze up at him with a worried expression on my face. "I went to see the Oracles."
"The Oracles?" Angel asks, his voice sounds confused
"Yeah. I did something really stupid. Well, almost, anyway. Thankfully, they wouldn't do what I asked." I know I'm starting to babble but I can't help it.
"What did you ask them to do?" he asks as if he already knows the answer.
"I-I... I asked them to turn you back. Back to a vampire." My voice cracks and I choke back a sob.
"They wouldn't do it."
"Why? Why would you do that?" He doesn't understand, I think. Him being human was what we've always wanted and I tried to take that away. He's going to think I've betrayed him.
"I am so, so sorry," I sob. I feel so guilty. I had almost ruined our one chance for happiness. "I was just trying to keep you safe. I didn't mean... I don't want."
My words are starting to get all jumbled together now and he pulls me to his chest and gently rubs my back, like you would to soothe a crying baby, as I sob into his shoulder. "Shhh," he whispers, his breath hot on my neck. "It's okay, Buffy. Don't cry. I love you.
After I calm down a bit, I pull away and look up at him. My eyes are probably all red and puffy and gross looking, but I don't care... "I was so scared last night, Angel. When Cordelia told me you had gone after the demon by yourself, I was terrified you were going to get hurt or... worse."
"So, you asked the Oracles to change me back?"
"You take risks for me, Angel. Before it was all right, but now you're human. Now, you it's much easier for you to be killed. I can't stand the thought of losing you again, not after I just got you back. That's why I did it. I figured if you hated me, at least you'd be here to hate me. They wouldn't change you, though."
"Probably not," Angel says, rubbing my back as I lean my head on his shoulder. "What did they say?"
"They said, what was done could not be undone, blah, blah, blah. So, I asked them to do something else." I pause before whispering. "I asked them to give you my strength." I knew that was going to upset him more than anything else.
"What!?!" Angel jumps up from the couch anger and shock written clearly across his face. "How could you do something so reckless?" he shouts.
I grab his hand and pull him back down onto the couch. "Would you let me finish?" I beg. "They didn't do it."
"Oh," Angel sighs with relief, looking slightly embarrassed by his outburst.
"Together we are strong, apart we will weaken." I say, quoting what the female Oracle told me.
"What?" he asks.
"They said that as long as we are together, physically and emotionally, we would have our strength, agility and healing abilities." I reach for Angel's hand and entwined my fingers with his. "You're not mad at me, are you?" I queried.
As a reply, Angel gently takes my face in his hands and captures my lips in a long, passionate kiss. "How can I be mad? I'm practically forced to spend the rest of my life with the woman who means the entire world to me."
"Well, you're not exactly being forced," I scoff teasingly. "You can leave if you want, but you'll just keep getting weaker... and weaker... and weaker, 'til eventually you're just... gone, I guess. I think that's how it works anyway."
Well, we won't ever have to find that out because I'm never going to let you go again. He runs his fingers through my hair before letting his hands rest on my shoulders.
"Good answer," I beam at him and stand on tiptoe kiss the tip of his nose. "You know, now that we're... I don't know... joined like this or whatever, we have to be very open with each other, we have to let the other know what we're thinking, think you can handle that, Brood Boy?"
He pretends to think about that. "So, you mean, if I start thinking that I'm not good enough for you or that you deserve better, I have to tell you so you knock some sense back into me?"
"Exactly," I answer, wrapping my arms loosely around his neck. "I'm not worried about you having thoughts though, because you can give everything that you always wanted to give me now. Picnics in the park, strolls on the beach, babies..." I peek up at him to see his reaction to the huge hint I had just dropped.
He smirks at me. "Babies, huh.... How about we go make a baby right now?"
I groan. "That has got to be the lamest come on line *ever*!" At least he got the hint, I think to myself.
"I know," he admits. "Did it work?"
"You bet!"
At that he swoops me up in arms and carries me towards the bedroom. I sigh happily. For the first time in all the years we have known each other, everything was going to work out happily in the end.
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