Disclaimer: Joss Whedon is god. I am not.
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: this is the sequel I got threatened with death if I didn't write. I'm too young to go, so I thought I better give you guys what you want :)
Summary: picks up after "Breakable" left off
Dedication: to Shirl Ujest for writing such great feedback!

The sun blanketed the sky and Buffy felt Angel stir in her arms. His head came up slowly, and their eyes locked.

"Sun's up," she told him softly and he nodded, wiping his cheeks hastily.

Standing, he held out a hand to her and she let herself be helped up. Without a word, they walked down to his room, and entered the heavy darkness. Angel turned on a dim light, which played over the walls and cast ghostly shadows around the room. "Can I get you anything?"

She shook her head. Her stomach felt as if she had swallowed glass. Her throat closed over and she shook her head again. "No thanks. Nothing for me."

He nodded absently and sat down, resting his chin on his hands. "I'm sorry you got dragged into this. Did Cordy call you?"

"No, she didn't," Buffy informed him and his head snapped up, his expression one of surprise. "Actually, I came to see you. I had no idea things were so tense."

"It's been rough around here," he replied and then his eyes widened. "Why did you come to see me? Is everything all right in Sunnydale?"

"Well." she hesitated. "Things haven't been of the good lately. My Mom.she had a brain tumour."

"Oh my God." he murmured, "I'm so sorry Buffy."

"It's all right," she answered dismissively. "The doctor's were able to remove it. Now she just has to wear a wig. But other bad stuff has been happening. Um.you know Dawn?"

"Is she all right?" Angel asked worriedly and Buffy laughed hollowly.

"Well, it depends on what your definition of 'all right' is. She's well.it turns out she's not really my sister."

Angel gazed at her for a long moment, as if he was attempting to reconcile what she had just uttered. "Not your sister?" he repeated slowly.

Buffy glanced at the curtain-covered windows blankly and shrugged. "Yeah, I guess she's some sort of key. To something that I know nothing about. Every big bad in Sunnydale seems to be after her, including this one loony." She paused and smiled. "Plus, Riley left tonight."

Angel looked shocked and then awkward. He rubbed the back of his neck and seemed to be searching for the right words. "Left? As in.?"

"As in left me, his friends, and his vampire whores to do some secret military stuff that's probably going to get him killed."

"Vampire whores?" Angel repeated, his face paler than usual.

"Yeah.it seems Riley's been paying some vamp chick to snack on him. You probably know about those kinds of places."

"Yeah," he said simply. "They're usually less powerful vampires. They can't find a kill so they get into the business. It's usually humans that get off on the rush of it.the danger, I guess," he said, looking immensely uncomfortable. "The vampires get blood without the mess of a body and the humans get.some sort of thrill."

"Hmmm." Buffy murmured, and swallowed nervously. "Did you ever.?"

"No," he answered, "I.liked leaving bodies behind."

"Oh," she said in a small voice and then leaned back. "What's going on here? Things are weirder than normal."

Angel stood up, pacing a little and laughed without humour. "Things are definitely strained. You see, Darla's back, and so is Drusilla.and I don't know what to do. I should just stake them, I know I should. But it's complicated, and I didn't count on how much power they were going to have. I let them." he hesitated and then plunged on, "kill these lawyers that work at this corrupt law firm."

Buffy felt sick. "You let them kill people?"

"Yeah," he replied and flinched at the horror in her eyes. "I pretty much ignored a vision the Powers that Be sent Cordy's way and I just swept on in, doing my thing.and people died. What does that make me now? I can't say that I help people anymore. I don't know what to do."

Pressing a shaky hand to her stomach, Buffy felt it heave. Her insides felt sticky and hot, like she had drank gallons of cough syrup. "Angel." she muttered. "This is.bad. This is.you can't go around letting Darla and Dru kill people. You are probably the only person that can stop them.and instead."

He buried his face in his hands and his body shook, but she didn't get up to hold him. "I know," he groaned. "I'm.slipping, Buffy. I can feel it. And I don't even want to stop. I want to feel nothing.I want to be him again."

"No," she said forcefully, and his head jerked as he glanced at her. "NO. Do you hear me? I won't let you do this to yourself. Angel.I once told you that you had the power to do real good.to make amends. Do you remember that?" He nodded, trembling and she felt tears spurt from her own eyes. "But this." she waved one hand in a gesture of disgust. "This isn't making any amends. This is just wrong. Plain and simple. You came out here to validate what you did in the past. And you need to follow through on that."

"What if I can't?" he wept, and sank down onto a chair. "I told you once.I'm not strong, Buffy. I've never been."

"Not strong?" she cried, kneeling before him incredulously. "You are probably the strongest person I know. But listen to me.this is not the road you should be taking. You can't.you can't," she emphasised, "become Angelus again. I don't care what you have to do, Angel, but you're going to fight this thing. You have people here who need you.Cordy, Wes, Gunn."

"You?"

Buffy gulped back a sob and touched his cheek. "Yes, me too. Knowing that you're out here.fighting the battles.it keeps me going. Drives me. You need to keep going, Angel. For yourself.for everyone out there that needs your help. And being all evil.firing perfectly good employees, is not going to get you anywhere."

"You don't understand," he said wearily. "I.I feel so alone in this."

"In what?" she inquired, and he reached out to smooth a hand over her hair.

"In this fight.when I was in Sunnydale.I.well, I had you." He paused and wiped a tear from her cheek. "My Buffy.you're so strong.you always were a fighter.and I have never been that way. I didn't come here to validate myself, really. I came to get away from you. But it's become a fight, a quest of some sort. Maybe to prove that I could be worth something. Cause you have no idea.I feel like I should be dead. This life that I lead.its more than my victims had. I shouldn't be allowed to look at you.shouldn't be allowed to touch you."

Weeping, she grabbed his hand and forced it to her cheek, pressing against it. "Is that what this is about? You don't feel like you should be allowed to love me?" He nodded and she laughed through her tears, furiously, madly angry with him. "You really have no idea.you don't get it, do you? You really don't get it. I love you. I always have.from that first second I knocked you flat on your back in that ally. You can feel unworthy or not.I'll still love you. Maybe it's wrong, you know, maybe it's not meant to be, but I don't care. I don't care what you've done in the past.I just want you. I need you, Angel. I can't lose you again."

Shakily, he reached out and stroked her cheek. "You never lost me. I didn't stop loving you."

"Even when you found out I was with Riley?" she asked and he grimaced, closing his eyes.

"I told you to find someone else."

Buffy completely lost it. Seeing red, she slapped him full across the face and shouted, "Wake up! I don't want anyone else!! Want to know why Riley left? Because I couldn't love him.couldn't give him my heart because it's.here with you! And you know what else? Everyone blames me. Everyone thinks I should open myself up to him.give him my soul and my body and my life.oh god." she whimpered and fell onto the other chair, crying bitter tears. Angel watched her, stricken with guilt. "Did you think that just because you left I would stop loving you?" she asked dully. "Did you honestly believe that? I told you when you broke up with me.that I was never gonna change. I told you."

He shook his head, his eyes bleak. "I didn't believe you."

"Of course not.cause I'm just some little girl who doesn't know what she wants. Well, guess what? I always knew what I wanted.I think it was you that was unsure. You that didn't know. That didn't get it."

"I always loved you," he murmured helplessly.

"But you gave up!" she shouted. "You left. Without a goodbye, without a 'thanks for saving my life, Buffy.' You think that made me happy? Oh great, my boyfriend's giving me up so my life can be.normal? Well, thanks, Angel. Look how well it turned out." Slumping back, she ran a hand through her hair and turned to him, saw his bruised eyes and smiled softly. "Do you know how much I needed you when my Mom was in the hospital? I used to sit there, completely removed from everything and everyone.and I would dream that you walked in.that you came into the room and held me, and made everything all right."

"I'm sorry." he groaned, and stood up. "But I didn't know. How could I have? You didn't call."

"No." she said quietly. "I dreamt that you had never left. I dreamt that you were always there. I didn't expect you to come back from LA. How could you? You're busy here."

Angel turned to look at her with his unfathomable eyes and said, "I'm never too busy for you."

"Really? Wow. Color me stunned," she mocked and stood up, grabbing her coat. Angel took her arm, his face panicked.

"Where are you going?"

"Back home," she said, shrugging free of his grip. "I have stuff to do. People to look after."

"When will I see you again?" he asked, his voice low. She almost smiled, almost screamed, but instead just shook her blonde head.

"No idea. Maybe not ever. Your decision."

He watched her walk away, and missed the tears that streaked her face the second she turned her back.

~~~

*two weeks later*

Buffy yawned as she left the cemetery. Vampire action had been slow tonight, and all she wanted was to get home and have a decent night's sleep. Scuffing her boots as she walked, she took a short-cut behind the Bronze and realized she was in the ally where she had first met-

Shaking her head to dispel the memories, she glanced up and saw the pole where she had balanced, saw the spot where she had knocked him flat. *I was a sprightly little thing* she thought, wanting to giggle, wanting to cry.

A movement in the shadows drew her attention, and she grabbed her stake, prepared to fight.

"Can I help you, Ma'am?"

Whirling, she was faced with him. Her vampire, her lover, her enemy. Buffy felt a tear well in her eye but faced him head on, and flung back her head. "Why are you following me?" she asked, repeating the words she had said to him all those years ago.

"I know what you're thinking. Don't worry. I don't bite," he breathed and walked with cat-like grace towards her. She smiled and touched her neck.

"I have it on pretty good authority that you do," she replied and he laughed softly, holding up his hands in defense.

"Guilty," he murmured and lay a finger over the scar. "Did you know that this means you're mine?"

"Hmmm?" she asked, distracted by the sensation of being so close to him.

"You have my mark," he told her, and she sighed, leaning into his caressing hand.

"I guess that means I belong to you," she remarked and touched his face. "You all right with that?"

Angel half-smiled and then leaned down, his lips barely brushing hers. "I think I can live with it." Desperately, she grabbed the back of his neck and they kissed, their lips and tongues melting, hungry, their bodies coming together in an embrace so strong, nothing could break it.

"Mmmm." she moaned, kissing his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, as he gathered her into his arms. "We still have some stuff to work through.issues, you know," she giggled as he nipped her ear and then kissed her neck. "Like the whole vamp-human deal."

"That might not be a problem in the future," he admitted and she reared back, gazing into his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

Angel smiled and kissed her sweet mouth once more as he carried her home. The streetlamps flickered and the moon shone as he began to speak, "Well, you see, there's this thing called a Shanshu."

Please, please feed my feedback addiction! Did you like it? Did it live up to the first part??? PLease share your thoughts!!

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