Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss
This is the second part to my series. It takes place after the season 5 finale of Buff and the season 2 finale of Angel.
I dedicate this to Mystic ‘cause if it wasn’t for her this would never have gotten written.
Angel is dealing with Buffy’s death but he still can’t let go…maybe he doesn’t have to.
*Indicates the thoughts of either Angel or Buffy.
Song lyrics: Fisher “I Will Love You”
Backstreet Boys “Friends Never Say”
Mariah Carey “Never Forget”
Anne Murray “You Needed Me”
Take That “Holing Back The Tears”
LeAnn Rimes “How Do I Live”
Plus One “My Friend”
I enjoy feedback so please indulge me at twinstar_dust@hotmail.com
ENJOY!

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“Where is Angel? We have to leave right now if we don’t want to be late,” Cordelia looking around the hotel lobby.

“You can probably find him where he has been since he found out about Buffy.” Wesley answers back. “I’ll go up and tell him that we should be on our way.”

Wesley slowly walks up the stairs and heads towards the top of the building were Angel would be hopelessly looking into the night. He dreaded the thought of seeing his friend because lately if you gaze into Angel’s eyes you would feel unbelievable cold and emptiness. From the moment that they learned that Buffy died Angel became a shell of his former self. He was now truly the walking dead. He hasn’t even attempted his offbeat humour anymore. Once again returning into his brooding angst self and maybe even sunken deeper now that his love has gone.

* Look at those people down there not having a clue that the end of the world was at their doorstep and about to destroy their lives. They will never know the sacrifices that had to take place so that humankind would still exist. A beautiful young woman will never get the recognition of being the world’s saviour. And I will never get the chance to tell her that nothing has changed. I still love her and I always will. Time, distance and even death will not change that fact. *

Since that day that Willow came to Los Angeles to tell the news of Buffy’s death, as the result of fight Glory and resealing the vortex between dimensions, Angel has not been the same. He’s being haunted by memories, regrets and might of beens, which shared one face, the Slayers’. He has been the shadow of his former self and not engaging in conversation with the exception of a word or two. The only time he showed emotion was when he ran out into the night after Willow finished her story. Everyone was worried that he would do something foolish, like welcoming the daylight. It was touch and go for a few minutes when he barely made it back before the first rays of morning appeared. No one knew how cl

“Umm Angel I know this is hard for you but if we want to be on schedule we have to leave now for Sunnydale,” Wesley quietly interrupting Angel’s thoughts.

Not saying a word Angel turns around and heads towards the stairs.

Cordelia and Gunn waiting quietly in the lobby for them to return. Slowly walking towards Angel’s car Cordelia holds both Gunn’s and Wesley’s hands for support while Angel trails behind. The trip to Sunnydale felt longer than usual and done in unsettling silence.

* * *

The funeral arranged to be held at night to accommodate Angel and Spike and in a way it seemed right. Buffy’s loved ones would say their final good-byes during the hours where Buffy flourished by doing the job a slayer was destined to do. The grievers attending were just a handful but they were the ones that mattered, they were a part of her family. All 12 mourners with heads bent around the grave. Spike luckily found a priest who knew the secrets of the world of demons and what special purpose Buffy served. Earlier during the day the official burial was held with Buffy’s father, who still didn’t know the special job his daughter did for the world, in attendance.

“We gather here to celebrate the life of a unique and special person. She was never thanked for the duty she was bound to do and to the countless lives she saved. All her life she fought for humankind and even with regrets and doubts about her calling she overcame all obstacles. We as her family are here tonight to celebrate her live rather than her death.” The priest solemnly speaks and indicated that each should take a turn to pay their final respects.

Giles slowly steps forward taking off his glasses to wipe a tear from his eye. He places a white rose and a beautifully carved stake he lovingly made onto the grave.

“When we met five years ago my first reaction was that you were not cut out for the job but you proved me wrong. Time after time you have showed me what being a hero is all about. You have grown even past my expectations and you were the best slayer there ever was. With your own sense of style and finesse you showed them all. You are no longer my student but a daughter as well. Goodbye and God bless…”
I won’t see you smile
And I won’t hear you
Laugh anymore.
Every night
I won’t see you
Walk through that door.

‘Cause time wasn’t on
Your side
It isn’t right
I can’t say I love you
It’s too late to
Tell you
But I really need
You to know

No, I’ll never forget you
I’ll never let you out of my heart
You will always be here with me
I’ll hold on to the memories…

A warm breeze of the night envelops the party of mourners and a hint of vanilla in the air could be smelled. Angel suddenly lifts his head and closes his eyes as if trying to make the sensation linger. He opens his eyes and murmurs to himself, “You are here…”

Xander shakily walks towards the grave his arms wrapped around his fiancée Anya. Death was new to the recently humanized demon and she was still trying to soak everything in. Just a month before she experienced death of a close one for the first time when they buried Buffy’s mother, Joyce. And now they were burying the daughter and she thought that was unjust and unfair. If she ever got powers back the first thing she would do was to protect her loved ones. Anya meets the gaze of Xander and gives him a bittersweet smile. Xander takes the white rose that he was clutching in his hand and places it on the freshly turned mound of dirt along with dog tags from his “army

“Buf…when I first met you in High school I never thought such a beautiful girl will make friends with a geek like me. While others put me down you had a way to make me feel better. I could always make you smile and laugh which you definitely needed in your line of work. You made me feel useful and needed and I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t for my Buffinator. I will miss you my friend…”

There isn’t much I haven’t shared
With you along the road
And through it all
There’ll always be
Tomorrow’s episode.

Suddenly that isn’t true
There’s another avenue
Beckoning the great divide
Ask no questions take no side.

Who’s to say who’s right or wrong?
Whose course is braver run?
Still we are have always been
Will ever be as one.

What is done has been done for the best
Though the mist in my eyes might suggest
Just a little confusion about what I’d lose
Girl if I stared over
I’d know I would choose.

The same joy the same sadness
Each step of the way
That fought me and taught me
That friends never say…goodbye.

The gentle breeze is still stirring and strangely everyone is not cold. The air is caressing their cheeks and they feel safe and comforted. Angel wonders if anyone feels the presence of Buffy, her essence all around them. When he looks to all the faces in the circle she knows that Buffy in her way is here to comfort her friends and loved ones. Even in death she is protecting them.

Willow holding hands with Tara takes her turn to say goodbye to her beloved friend. She too has while rose to place by Buffy’s grave and added a pencil as a memory to the first days when she learned witchcraft.

“I’m not going to say good bye…because I can’t just yet… maybe never. As your best friend I always thought I was a sidekick to you and nothing more. But over the years you have encouraged me to follow my calling. When I doubted my abilities and myself you were the one to help me find my inner strength. We have gone through a lot together you and I. Don’t worry the Scooby gang will still be here to fight your cause. You taught me that people with unique powers have responsibilities to keep everyone safe. I will have to learn to stand on my own…I Love you.”

We are standing at the crossroads
And now it’s time
For you to go your way
And me to go mine
I will pray the Lord
Will keep you safe
Until the day I see your face again.

My friend
We have been through so much
And you have been my Godsend
With your sure and steady love
My friend
You know I will be there
If you ever need
‘Cause you’ve always
Been a friend to me.

I may travel the world over
But one thing I know for sure
One day this road will lead me
Back ‘round to your door
I will pray the Lord
Will keep you safe
Some bonds are just too strong
To break in the end.

Angel looks toward Buffy’s sister Dawn.

* My beloved died to save you and the world. She loved you even when she knew that you were not her sister after all. Monks to keep the Key safe from the hands of Glory placed the memories of you in Buffy and everyone else. But Buffy still protected you even with her very life and I…understand that. Like me I would die for the ones I loved too. I wish I was here to protect her but we make decisions that we cannot take back. I have to live with another “what could have been” memory. This cannot be the end for Buffy and me? There must be a way to make this better? There must be s

Dawn with her head up and erect takes her turn to say something to her sister. The only sign that she is having trouble with her emotions is the slight tremor of her hand when she places a rose and a picture of her family. The smiling faces of Buffy, Dawn, and Joyce their mother with their arms around each other during happier times.

“Buffy I remember all the memories I had with you and mom. Especially the ones were I would sneak into your room and when you found out you would yell at me Mom would come in and act as our referee. I’ll always cherish them. Thank you for saving me. No matter if our memories are not real they are to me… and I’ll always be your sister. My only hope is that I grow up like you…strong, kind, loving and with friends and love ones like yours.”

At that moment a gentle gust of warm air stroked Dawn’s cheek and the smell of vanilla grew stronger. Dawn places a hand onto her cheek and smiles.

“Don’t worry about me. Your friends will take care of me…they are family”

It’s a constant fight
To get through each day and night
It’s war between
The present and the past
And the face that’s in my mind
Every time I close my eyes
What’s the reason, what’s the answer?
How long will this last?

So I’m not holding back
The tears anymore
Trying to escape the heartache
Trying to escape emotion
No, I’m not holding back
The tears anymore
Yesterday’s my memory
Reminding me of all the time
I depended on you.

Angel inhales the sent in the air and closes his eyes and makes a vow that he’ll be there for Dawn as well. When he opened his eyes again Angel’s surprised to see Dawn hugging Spike and him going forward to take his turn to say his last words to Buffy.

Spike still wounded from the fight and from the torturing he received from Glory limps closer to the grave. He has changed the most in the shortest period of time, every since he was rendered helpless from harming humans. He became an important part of the Scooby gang and to Buffy’s life. Buffy tried her best to get rid of him but he kept coming back or she would eventually seek him out for help. They started off as the best of enemies and then became the worst of friends. For a vampire with no soul he exhibits love and devotion very well just because he was in love with a slayer. He promised Buffy that he was going to keep Dawn safe until the end of the world…and h

He takes a nicely wrapped package out of his black jacket pocket and gently lays it with the rest of the roses and objects already on the mound. No one knows that in the package is the blue sweater he stole from Buffy’s room and no one hears when he whispers, “Just in case in get cold…I love you pet I really do…I thank you for everything but I’ll always wish…um I guess the poof knew what he was feeling after all.” He then places a blood red rose unto the grave among the white ones. The rich colour stands out among the purity of the white but in an ironic way it signifies Spike’s whole relationship with Buffy and with the gang and somehow it seems right.

“Blood is life…” Spike murmurs and walks back towards Dawn.

I cried a tear
You wiped it dry
I was confused
You cleared my mind
I sold my soul
You bought it back for me
And held the earth
You gave me dignity
Somehow you needed me

You held my hand
It was cold and I was lost you took me home
You gave me love
That I was at the end
I turned my life
Back into truth again
You even called me

After a few minutes of silence the priest looks around and states,” If everyone is finished saying their final respects I would like to conclude the services?”

Giles looks over to Angel who is solemnly looking at the tombstone and making movement that he wanted to have a turn. Sensing that Angel would prefer to say his goodbyes privately Giles signals to the priest to proceed.

“I can see and hear that Buffy Anne Summers was very well loved and will be greatly missed by her family. I conclude this service and might I add that I believe she will never be forgotten” The priest shakes everyone’s hand and everyone slowly walks out of the graveyard.

Slowly everyone starts to hug everyone else and all are in agreement to meet back at the magic shop. Xander and Anya; Willow and Tara; Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn; Dawn and Giles with Spike tagging along in behind solemnly leave the cemetery to seek comfort in each other’s company. A strong gust of wind suddenly erupts as if saying goodbye.

A solitaire figure is left alone by the grave. Angel looks up into the sky and lets out a heart-wrenching scream. He walks over to the tombstone and traces the letters of his beloved’s name.

* We always knew how tentative our lives are. The history of a slayer surviving to an old age was very seldom. It was a hazard of the occupation but I never realized how much it would hurt. When I came here when you buried your mom I would never have thought I would visit again so soon for another death. Not seeing you day after day made it easier for both of us in dealing with our feelings but after that night I realized that things would never change. I will always love you till the end of time. I don’t know how I’m going to live without you? As a vampire I can live forever but I’d rather die tomorrow than live for eter

Angel takes something out of his duster pocket and places it on the tombstone. A rose made out of chocolate and Angel chuckles for the first time in days,” I just wanted to let you know how much, that day that never was, meant to me. I’ll always treasure those moments when everything was perfect…”

How do I?
Get through the night without you?
If I had to live without you,
What kind of live would that be?

Oh I need you in my arms, need you to hold,
You’re my world, my heart, my soul,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything good in my life.

Angel about to leave hears footsteps heading towards him. He turns around in a flash and comes face to face with someone who changed his life’s direction so long ago. The very person who introduced Buffy into his world,

“Whistler what are you doing here?”

Taking off his hat to pay his respects to Buffy Whistler pats the cool marble and says,” Little lady you took us all by surprise.”

Then he turns his attention towards Angel and asks, “Angel the Powers That Be want to know how badly do you want her back?”

A warm wind blows a circular path around Angel enveloping him like a blanket. He looks shocked for a moment and suddenly complete understanding hits him making him smile.

“Buffy until we meet again…”

Go to the next story Second Chances

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