Love Remember Me

Chapter 2

A little over two months had passed since that fateful night. Buffy stood in the same bathroom, wearing the same robe, gazing at her reflection in stunned disbelief. In her hand was a pregnancy test, its two lines bold and clear in the answer window.

“No way.” Buffy put the stick down on the bathroom counter and looked at the directions again.

“When there are two lines present in the test window you are pregnant. If one line appears, then you are not pregnant,” Buffy read aloud. She glanced back down at the countertop where the test was laying.  The two lines stared back mockingly at her, and if possible they seemed to get even darker.

“NO WAY!” she screamed, knocking the test and the directions into the trash.  She moved to the door to open it but ended up slumping against it instead, her legs no longer supporting her as she slid slowly to the floor.  Her mind drifted back to the last time she had been intimate with Spike.

“Tell me you love me.”

“I love you. You know I do,” Spike replied, his blue gaze blazing with his love for her.

“Tell me you want me.” Buffy took a step closer to Spike.

“I always want you,” he breathed. “In point of fact..”

“Shut up.” Buffy looked at him and then grabbed him, kissing him deeply. Spike gently pushed her down on top the sarcophagus before joining her, his body stretching out on top of hers. His used his lips and body to prove to her how much he loved her.

“What am I going to do now?” She whispered to herself as she hugged her knees to her chest.

*~*

“I’ll just come right out and tell them. It won’t be as bad as I think. They are my friends; they love me. Things can only get better,” Buffy was telling herself as she walked through the front door of the Magic Box.  She walked into the shop and towards the table where her friends sat talking.

“Ok, guys… what I have to say can and will be shocking. But, just know I’m alone in this and I need your help.” Buffy looked up and saw her friends and sister had stopped talking to openly gawk at her.

“What’s up, Buff?” Xander asked. The others looked at him and nodded, turning their attention back to the blond-haired slayer.

“I’m pregnant.”

“What?” they all yelled. Xander fainted.

“Xander?” Willow called as she crouched down over his prone form. The rest of the Scoobies crowded in around him.

“Oh for Christ’s sake… just slap him,” Anya said before getting on her knees and slapping Xander hard across the face.

“Ow!” Xander cried, his eyes flying wide as his hand flew to cover his burning cheek. “I thought we weren’t gonna do the slapping anymore, Anya.” Xander looked at Anya, whose face was red with anger.

“What happened? Cuz all of a sudden I feel very weird. Was it a dream? Did I just dream Buffy said that she was pregnant? Am I going crazy?” Xander asked, pulling himself awkwardly to his feet and looking around confused.

“Xander, I am pregnant.” Buffy rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips.

Xander’s shocked gaze flew to her face.

“Buffy do you know who the father is?” Tara’s shy voice asked her.

“It’s Spike’s,” she replied. This time five sets of shocked expressions zeroed in on her.

“How can that be? He’s a vampire. Can’t get pregnant from a vampire,” Willow rambled.

“Willow this is the Hellmouth, not Disneyland. Anything is possible here. Besides, he is the only one I’ve been with since I’ve been…uh, back,” Buffy announced, referring to her death and subsequent resurrection. As the anxiety over telling her friends faded, her body suddenly drained of adrenaline; she sank silently in a chair beside her sister. Dawn reached out and smoothed her hand over Buffy’s hair.

“It’ll be ok, Buffy. We’ll help…we’ll all help, and take good care of the baby,” Dawn said smiling encouragingly at her.

“Yeah, Buffy, we are all here for you. Anything you need… we are so there,” Willow said looking around at everyone. They all nodded in agreement at the witch’s words, looking at Buffy and smiling.

“Does Spike know?” Xander asked.

“No.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“How would I do that, Xander? I don’t know where he is.”

“We could do a locating spell,” Willow chimed in.

Buffy shook her head. “No. Things were not good when he left. He’ll come back when he’s ready.”

‘If at all,’ Buffy thought.

*~*

It was hard in the months that followed the news of Buffy’s pregnancy and the disappearance of Spike. Buffy’s friends really rallied around her and helped with everything. Dawn took Buffy shopping for baby clothes and other necessities. Willow and Tara cast spells around her to keep the baby safe as she continued to patrol each night. Xander attended the Lamaze classes as her coach and built her baby furniture for her. Her father had even helped out by sending her and Dawn money each month. Which was both a shock and surprise to the Summers girls; Buffy didn’t want to take the money, but knew there was no other way. No one would hire a woman who was so far along in her pregnancy.

Giles had been called not long after Buffy had told her friends about the baby. They had asked him questions to see if he was aware of a vampire getting someone pregnant. Giles did some research and finally told them that sometimes stuff like this just happened. He hadn’t been able to locate a specific prophecy or anything on it. Sometimes, things were just meant to be. The moon and planets had aligned in the right positions making it possible for the vampire to be able to produce children. Buffy calmed down after that, knowing she didn’t need to worry about her child being a demon or anything of the sort.

When she was asked who the father of her baby was Buffy would only say that his name is William. And that William had gone away and she didn’t know where he was. When they asked if he knew about her baby she would say no, because if Spike had known before he left, he never would have disappeared.

Buffy had a lot of time to think while she was pregnant. She found herself contemplating the different aspects of her relationship with Spike either while on patrol or sitting up late at night with her cravings and insomnia. She began to understand why things happened the way they did the last time she had seen him. She realized that he wasn’t himself when he attempted to do what he did that night in the bathroom. She understood he didn’t know what he was doing, that he was running on pure desperation. That he loved her so greatly and so intensely that it was overwhelming.

She didn’t forgive him for trying what he did, but now knew why it had occurred. She had finally realized that he was right. She did love him. She had been numb and in pain from being back on this earth after she had known the love and comfort of being in heaven. What was amazing still was that he, Spike, a vampire, was the only one she could even stand to be around. He was the only one who could make her feel.

She would catch herself talking to her stomach and telling her baby all about its father... that even though he wasn’t with them, he loved them both very much. She had no idea if or when Spike was coming back but she dreamt of him often. In her dreams, he was always apologizing about what had happened, his tone full of remorse. Buffy would welcome him in the house with a nod and a smile that told him she knew and understood.

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