Love Remember Me

Chapter 5

Spike waited until he couldn’t hear her footsteps anymore then finally pulled himself out of the sarcophagus. He had barely made it inside the cement tomb when his door had been flung open. He knew it was Buffy. He seemed he could smell her from miles away. His eyes caught site of something on top of his television and he went to look at it, as if drawn to the object by a magnet.

It was a picture of Buffy and her daughter sitting by his tree and smiling in the bright afternoon light. He held the picture closer to his face so could look at every last detail of the pair. Buffy’s daughter was beautiful. She had slightly curly platinum-blond hair pulled into two small pigtails, and striking blue eyes that – even in the picture – he knew she could look right through him. Her face appeared, at first, unmistakably like Buffy’s – her nose and mouth an exact replica. But her eyes, the shape and color struck something deep within him.

He turned the picture over in his hands and was surprised by writing on the back.

‘Katie Amber Summers
and Mommy sitting under
Daddy’s tree waiting for him
to come home’

Spike blinked and read the caption again. It read the same as it did before, the words un-changing. Spike flipped the picture back over and looked again. His eyes rested on Katie and he began to understand. Her hair was the exact color as his just not as curly. Her eyes were the same shape as his only hers appeared just a tad bluer. Spike didn’t even realize he had started to cry until a tear landed on his daughter’s face.

“I have a daughter!” he said aloud clutching the picture to his chest.

*~*

Spike had decided enough was enough; he had to see Buffy. So there he was, again under his tree, smoking a cigarette and pacing. He looked like a maniac with all his arm and hand gestures. He didn’t realize he was being watched until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Spike jumped and spun around.

“Geez, Red, you bloody well scared me.”

“Sorry, Spike.” Willow looked him up and down, noticing there was something different about him. “How are you?”

“Fine, you?” Spike eyed her cautiously.

“You know me… all goodness and light.”

“Glinda?”

“Oh, she’s good. We are all with the goodness having,” Willow said gesturing to the house.

“Red…”

“Spike…”

They both stopped and looked at each other. Spike gestured for her to go first.

“Where have you been? Buffy’s been really worried about you.”

Spike’s head shot up and he looked at her, trying to decide if Willow was lying.

“I had something to take care of.”

“I sure hope you’re all done. You’ve been gone for two years.”

“T’was important.” Spike took a drag from his cigarette and threw it on the ground, his black boot squashing it into the dirt. They both noticed some commotion in the house and turned towards it as the front door opened.

“Will? You out here?” Buffy’s voice rang out.

“Yeah…” She said, raising her voice so that Buffy could hear. “You coming in?” the last was quietly directed at Spike who was looking longingly at the house.

He swung his eyes towards her and opened his mouth to say something when Buffy called his name.

“Spike?”

Spike’s blue eyes pierced through Buffy as she rushed down the steps toward them.

“Slayer.” He gave a curt nod.

All Buffy wanted to do was run to him, throw her arms around him, and tell him how very much she loved him. But she didn’t, she held off. Willow saw the way they were looking at one another and walked into the house unnoticed.

“When did you get back?” she asked.

“A couple days ago.”

“Oh.” Buffy couldn’t say she wasn’t disappointed but then, after what had transpired between them before he disappeared, she couldn’t really blame him for keeping his distance.

“Do you want to come inside?” Buffy asked touching his arm.

Spike jerked his arm back as if burned. Buffy looked startled and slightly hurt.

“Maybe that’s not a good idea,” He said.

“Oh.”

“We could take a walk though.” Buffy smiled and nodded.

“Let me just tell Willow where we’re going.” Buffy ran to the house and spoke to Willow, kissed Katie, and grabbing a jacket, she ran out to join Spike.

They had walked in silence for the better part of ten minutes, just looking at the ground as they walked, their arms brushing occasionally. They were nearing a small park when Buffy broke the silence.

“Spike..I just wanted to say….I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? Why?”

“Because of the way I treated you when I got back. The way I was when we were…….I’m just sorry.” Buffy stopped and longed to touch his face but didn’t dare. He was so skittish about her touching his arm she didn’t know what he would do if she touched him again.

“I’m the one who’s sorry, Buffy. I can’t imagine what would have happened…” Spike trailed off, and his eyes lost focus. “If you hadn’t stopped me. I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m so very sorry, Buffy. I’d never hurt you.”
Buffy nodded as her eyes welled up with tears.

“I know. I know..” she whispered, silent tears falling down her face.

Spike moved closer to her and put his hand on her cheek, his thumb wiping her tears away.

“It wasn’t you, you know that right?” Buffy asked him as she unconsciously turned her face to his palm.

“It was like watching a movie. I saw me, but it wasn’t me, all at the same bloody time. I saw everything he…I did and all I wanted to do was rip the head from that wanker’s body.”

“No, I mean it really wasn’t you. The powers that be were messing with you, influencing your demon. You had absolutely no control over yourself and what you were doing.”

Spike pulled back just short of pulling her forehead against his.

“What do you mean? How do you know?”

“That half-demon, Whistler, came to see me a couple of nights ago. He told me all about what the powers that be had planned for me. They saw how you and I were. Saw that I was falling in love with you and wanted to test me. They made you do what you did. They wanted to push me to a point...” Buffy stopped and looked into Spike’s eyes. She wanted to pull his mouth to hers and kiss the very un-needed breath out of him. “To the point where I would kill you.”

“Why didn’t you stake me?” He asked her quietly, silently hoping she wouldn’t answer.

“How could I?” she questioned as she brushed her fingertips along his jaw line.  “I love you.”

Spike blinked as though he hadn’t heard her correctly.

“Could you say that again?”

“I love you…William,” she said as she put her hands on either side of his face.

Spike didn’t hesitate this time. He moved his mouth over hers and kissed her softly. He kissed each corner of her mouth before moving back and capturing her lips in a deep kiss. Buffy sighed against his mouth and cradled his head in her hands.

“I missed you,” She breathed into their kiss.

“I missed you, too.” Spike kissed her again and wrapped his arms around her. Buffy melted into his embrace and clung to him as the feeling of his kiss washed through her. They stood in the middle of the deserted park kissing and holding onto each other as though their very lives depended on it.

Spike pulled back and pressed his forehead to hers. Both of them were breathing hard, their breath mingling in the air.

“Never leave me,” Buffy whispered.

“Try and make me,” he responded as their lips met again.

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