I'll Never Not Need You

Chapter 12

Choices.

It was about choices.

We all have choices.

Sometimes we make bad ones, sometimes good. Sometimes we choose not to do anything at all. Choose, chose, choice, it’s all the same.

Buffy had awoken as the moon rose higher in the sky, casting her in an iridescent light. Beside her Spike slept. He was curled on his side, his arm lain possessively across her stomach, holding her to him. His face buried in her neck, his breath leaving little goose bumps on her skin as he breathed. Buffy adjusted herself so she could look at him, mindful not to wake him up. She smiled as she reached out her hand and tenderly ran her fingers across his face.

He looked like an angel as he slept. Who would know that he was a vampire? Even as he slept he still breathed involuntarily making him look more human then demon. Buffy hadn’t known and yet she still loved him. Even when he came after her with his fangs bared. It should have made her run from him screaming like a banshee. But it didn’t. It made her want to love him more, coddle him and take care of him.

She knew it was ridiculous for her to think that. Vampires didn’t need to be taken care of.

His tenderness with her while they made love was astounding. Even when she took control and acted like an animal. Never in her life had she felt that way, done what she had done. Her face colored with embarrassment. She had lost control of herself, totally lost her inhibitions and it was because of him. He made her feel so comfortable with herself. How could she be embarrassed? It was the first time she had finally felt free.

Under her questing fingers his eyelids fluttered. Buffy smiled as she leaned closer and pressed a kiss to his mouth.

Spike opened a sleepy eye and smiled softly at her.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself.”

“How long have you been staring at me like that?” he asked reaching a hand up to caress her cheek.

“Long enough.”

Spike lifted an eyebrow and brought her face to his, his lips pressing against hers. He pulled back and smiled at her, his fingertips running along her cheek.

“I don’t deserve you ya know.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I didn’t mean to let my secret out like that. I didn’t mean to be so forceful and abrasive. I was mean. Evil,” Spike said apologetically.

“I know Spike…I know,” Buffy tried to comfort him. “I knew you wouldn’t hurt me Spike. I knew it.”

“No you didn’t. Hell I didn’t even know. When the demon comes out, when he takes over it’s like you have no control. I never wanted you to see me like that.”

“Don’t you see it doesn’t matter?”

“But it does Buffy.”

“No it doesn’t. It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

“It should. It should make you run, run from the horrible creature that I am.”

“You will not make me leave Spike. I will not leave you. I love you too much.”

“Buffy…”

Buffy reached out and put her hands on his face, forcing him to look into her eyes.

“It doesn’t matter Spike. I love you…no matter what.”

“I could have hurt you.”

“No you couldn’t. I saw your demon, I looked into his eyes and he saw me. He saw my love. And I saw yours shining in his amber eyes.”

Spike knew she was right. He had felt his demon relent. Buffy smiled at him and he swore his heart grew more right then. So full of love for this girl…this woman.

“I love you.”

“I love you,” she answered her lips touching his.

He returned the pressure of her lips, his tongue snaking out to trace the softness of her mouth. His tenderness set her stomach into a butterfly whirl. He pulled back and looked at her, his eyes almost tearing over in his love.

Suddenly a gust of air blew through them, ruffling Buffy’s long hair. Buffy sighed, she loved the wind and it just made the night more magical to her.

The wind started to pick up and the temperature lowered dramatically. Spike sat up and glanced around them, every hair on his body standing up.

Something was coming. He could feel it, his senses reeling. The wind swirled around them, leaves blowing in a circle surrounding them.

Spike stood and grabbed Buffy. They stood in the middle of the clearing watching as the wind picked up more, the air growing colder. Buffy shivered next to him, her chin trembling.

“What?” she asked him sensing his distress.

It was then that she felt it. Someone…something was after them. Coming closer…faster. Her heart started to pound, her flight reflex kicking in. Trepidation filled her as she glanced wildly around them.

“We have to get out of here,” Spike said grabbing Buffy’s hand.

The wind started to howl as they took off towards the car. The trees bent with the force of the gusting air, bringing them alive. Scratching and trying to grab them as they made their way to the parking lot, the leaves chasing them.

“What the hell is going on?” Buffy yelled as they reached the car. Both of them flinging the doors open and clamoring inside.

“I don’t know Buffy,” he answered as the engine roared to life. The wind was shaking the car threatening to pick it up.

“Spike!” Buffy screamed, fear lacing her voice. “Drive!”

Spike didn’t hesitate. He put the Desoto in drive and peeled out of the parking lot, leaving long black tire marks in the pavement. He drove as if the devil himself was after them. There was no danger hitting other cars or people because oddly enough no one was outside. If Spike had the time to think about it he would have thought it weird but all his thoughts were focused on getting the hell away from whatever was coming after them.

He kept glancing into his rear view mirror looking for something…anything that would prove they were being chased. Nothing was there. The trees still moved, the wind howling with rage forcing Spike to continue driving. He wasn’t stopping until he was sure it was safe.

Nothing would make him stop.

He turned in his seat and looked behind him, not trusting the mirror when Buffy screamed. He spun around in time to see the tree just seconds before he slammed into it.

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