I'll Never Not Need You

Chapter 5

Spike lay in bed. His arms behind his head, his ankles crossed. His cerulean blue eyes staring at the white popcorn like ceiling. When he had laid on the bed the sky was black, his eyes had not closed once, not even when the sunlight filtered through illuminating the room into a sunny glow. His hand hurt slightly from punching Angel in the face but it was so worth it. Even if his hand swelled to three times its size Spike wouldn’t care.

It wasn’t enough.

Spike blinked, finally tearing his eyes from the ceiling. His eyes seeing little white spots from staring for so long. He sat up and swung his legs over this side of the bed. He rubbed at his eyes with his good hand and sighed. The night had turned into something he hadn’t expected. He knew as he stepped into the Bronze with Xander that Buffy would come.

He knew it.

He dreaded it.

He hoped it.

As soon as Buffy put her arms around that wanker Spike couldn’t see anything but blinding anger and jealousy. He wanted to be the one dancing with her. The one holding her. And that lousy ponce had his hands all over her. Bastard! Who did he think he was?

What was even worse was that bird Cordelia was all over him. What he wouldn’t do to actually get her to back off. He had no interest in her whatsoever. He had even tried to let her down gently but she wanted no part of it. She had even gone so far as offering him sex, which Spike turned down vehemently.

He didn’t want Cordelia.

He wanted Buffy.

God how he wanted Buffy.

He hadn’t been able to get her out of his mind since he first saw her. Regardless of her reminding him of Emma, she was her own person. She may look like Emma but Buffy was different…stronger.

He tried to stay away from her. Had been down right rude but it was to no avail. He couldn’t resist her sunlight, her shining smile. The way she would look at him. He was helpless to her. He looked behind him and saw her still asleep. Her blond hair fanned around her. He had held her all night, her head against his chest. She finally fell asleep after they talked for hours. Both afraid of admitting what was in their hearts, both afraid not to admit it.

Spike had told her almost everything. Had told her about bits and pieces of Emma and his loss. The reason why he came to America. But, he kept one secret from her. The one that would shock and amaze her. The one that could make him lose her even before he could have her.

He sighed as he fingered the dark red stone ring he had on his left middle finger. He looked back at her and smiled as she let out a soft snore. His smiled faded as he looked at the large black and blue bruise that had formed on her face from where Angel had hit her. It angered Spike all over again.

His visions of killing Angel were shattered when he felt a soft hand on his arm.

“Hey,” Buffy greeted giving him a small smile.

“Hey,” he replied realizing she was even more beautiful when she first awoke then any other woman. Even with her hair a slightly mussed and her face red with tear streaks, she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

“Did you sleep well?” She asked as she sat up and sighed as he put his arm around her.

“No…not really.”

“How come?”

“Who wants to sleep when they have the most beautiful angel in their arms?”

“Spike…” Buffy said as she leaned forward and kissed him.

She pulled back from their kiss and rubbed at her sore jaw. She saw Spike’s face change, his eyes darkening with anger.

“It’s fine Spike. Barely hurts now,” She lied trying to calm him.

He raised his scarred eyebrow at her and grinned as she batted her eyelashes at him.

“How are you going to keep the questions at bay?” He asked.

“The truth I suppose. Good thing my mom is away on Gallery business. She’d be a basket case.”

His smiled faded and he grew serious.

“What if I hadn’t gotten there in time?” he asked, hanging his head.

“But you did Spike.”

“The ponce still hit you.”

“Yes but you got there before he could do anything else.”

Spike snorted.

“If you hadn’t come…” Buffy trailed off as her green eyes filled with tears.

“Shhh sweetheart. I’m sorry I didn’t get there sooner.”

“No. Don’t be sorry about what couldn’t be helped. You got there soon enough and saved me from other nasty things that asshole could have done. I’m forever grateful to you Spike…forever.”

Her last part was whispered as Spike brought his gaze to hers. His anger faded again as he looked into her face. He was helpless as his lips found hers.

Forever…

*~*

Spike let himself out of the Summers’ house later on that night, having spent the whole day with Buffy. Her mom was due home in a couple of hours and Spike wasn’t ready for the meeting of the mom phase. He was exhausted. Besides his uncle would be worried, Spike hadn’t thought to call him in all the commotion.

Silently he got into his black Desoto and headed to the opposite side of town. It was only a five-minute drive and he was already inside his room before he knew it. His uncle wasn’t home, apparently hadn’t been home all night, and wasn’t going to be home until tomorrow. There was a note on his bed to prove it. Spike laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. He needed sleep.

His eyes were closed minutes later, twitching back and forth as he dreamt.

Spike stood in the garden of his home back in London, the sun beating down on him. It was hot, hotter then it had ever been. Spike wasn’t sure how he got there or why it was so hot but he stayed in his spot.

Afraid to move.

In front of him laid Emma. Her body crumbled and covered in blood. Spike tried to move his feet, tried to call out to her but his feet wouldn’t work, his voice gone. He tried to move his arms but he was stuck, still as a statue.

Spike caught movement out of the corner of his eyes and saw his brother Wesley coming out of the shed. In his hand was a stake. It’s wood sharp and deadly. Wesley didn’t even seem to notice Spike as he neared Emma’s body. Only it wasn’t Emma, it was Buffy.

Wesley fell to his knees in front of Buffy, his eyes filling with tears.

“My love,” he whispered, his pale hand caressing her cheek. He threw his head back and screamed her name, his voice filled with anguish.

Spike watched in horror as Wesley lifted his left hand, gazing at the silver banded ring on his left hand. The stone blood red and gleaming brightly. Fresh tears flowed down Wesley’s cheeks as he pulled the metal off his hand and flung it. He raised the stake to his chest and screamed as he started to push it into his flesh.

Spike screamed and was able to move. He ran to his brother and grabbed the stake from his hand. Wesley’s hand started to tremble and Spike grabbed his ring from the cobblestone walkway and put it back on Wesley’s left hand.

“Why did you do that brother?” Wesley asked him weakly.

“You can’t leave me here alone,” Spike answered. “You can’t leave me like she did.”

Spike looked over at where Buffy had lain and saw her body fade into cherry blossom leaves. The pinkish white leaves blew into a circle as the breeze picked up, whirling around the brothers as if protecting them.

“She was mine Spike,” Wesley told him brushing Spike’s hands off his shoulders.

Spike cocked his head to the side and looked at his brother.

“What does that mean?”

“She was mine brother. You would take her out during the day but at night, she was mine. All mine,” Wesley said triumphantly as he stood.

“But we were engaged. She was to be my wife,” Spike argued.

“Didn’t matter did it you git? She was mine too.”

“You’re lying.”

“Why would I lie? What would I have to gain from lying to you brother?” Wesley practically spat out the words.

Spike’s face twisted in anger. He didn’t even know his demon came out until he had Wesley by the neck, his feet dangling inches above the ground.

“She was MINE Wesley. MINE! I marked her. I claimed her.”

“She was mine too Spike.”

Wesley vamped out as well, his eyes glowing amber as he kicked Spike in the stomach, making him drop Wesley.

Spike staggered back, seeing his brother as a demon, a feral animal.

Seeing him as vampire.

Just like Spike.

Spike growled at Wesley and dropped into his fighting stance, his fangs bright with saliva in the late afternoon sunlight.

“What do you expect to do little brother?” Wesley asked him slightly humored.

“I’m only going to tell you this once brother. You stay away from me, if you don’t so help me god I will kill you, brother or not. You are no longer a part of me,” Spike snarled at him, his words dripping with venom.

Wesley stared at his brother, a sudden chill in the air at his brother’s words.

“Don’t threaten me little brother.”

Spike laughed at him, his laugh dark and foreboding, angry and full of violence that just needed the right words to be released.

“You want to fight now? I could kill you and then what? Is it enough? Will it avenge Buffy?”

“She was going to choose between us. She was to make her choice tonight.”

Spike looked down at where some leaves had gathered around them and shut his eyes. His vamp guise filtered back allowing his human mask to fall into place.

“I loved her Wesley.”

“I know…so did I.”

Spike twitched in his bed, silent tears streaming down his face. Outside his window, a figure watched Spike flail in his bed. The stranger’s light blue eyes filled with anger as he sat on the branch in the large oak tree at the side of the house.

“We’ll see who wins brother,” Wesley said flinging himself out of the tree and into the night.

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