Summerhaven

Chapter 16

Buffy awoke to the feel of a strong body holding her. She didn’t need to glance behind her to know it was Spike. His arms tightened possessively around her middle as he slept on. She could the warmth of his breath against her neck, as it ruffled her blond hair. The cabin lightened slightly as the sun started to rise in the sky. Buffy sighed relishing the feel of being in his arms again. It had amazed her then and it amazed her now how she felt in his arms.

How their bodies fit perfectly.

Like they were two puzzle pieces that fit together flawlessly.

His scent mingled in the early morning air and Buffy breathed deeply, wanting to imprint that scent on her senses. Regardless of what had transpired between them last night Buffy didn’t think it would happen again. She was determined to keep her secret from him, even if it meant her own happiness.

Spike chose that moment to let her know he was awake by peppering kisses across her neck.

“Mornin’ love.”

Buffy sighed and leaned back against him as he continued to kiss her skin. Her body tingled as her eyes fell closed.

“Morning.”

“Marry me,” Spike whispered against her neck.

Buffy’s eyes shot open and she sat up.

“What?”

Spike lifted himself on one elbow and tilted his head to the side.

“I said marry me.”

“You’re insane,” She said as she got up and hunted around for her dress.

“Why?”

“Why? Because I can’t marry you Spike.”

“Is it the whelp?” he asked as she moved around the room.

“The wha?” She asked as stopped what she was doing to throw a confused glance his way. “No it’s not Xander. He’s my friend. I would never feel that way towards him.”

“Then why?”

“Spike stop. You know why.”

“I honestly don’t Buffy,” he said standing. She brushed past him and he grabbed her arm. “Will you please stop?”

“What Spike?” she asked exasperated. This isn’t what she wanted to do this morning, especially after the night they spent together.

He had both hands on her arms now, forcing her to look in his eyes.

“Tell me why.”

Buffy blanched under his blue-eyed gaze.

“The list is endless.”

“Start at number 1.”

“We are different people Spike. You are no longer the simple stable boy who I would climb trees and swim in the creek with.”

“So?”

“So?” She echoed in a voice that was neither nice nor harsh.

“If that’s all you got then it’s not a reason at all. The only excuse I will accept to my proposal is that you don’t love me anymore.”

Spike tightened his grip on her arms and forced her to look at him.

“Is that it Buffy? Do you not love me anymore?”

“Spike…what we had…what we were is gone. We are not the same people as we had been back then.”

“I don’t care. And that’s not a good enough reason.”

“No Spike. I don’t love you anymore.”

Even as the words tumbled from her lips she knew they were lie. Her heart was breaking and even more so at the look on his face.

She expected him to push her away from him. To grab his clothes and stalk off. What he did next, what he said wasn’t at all like she would have thought.

“Remember that time in the woods, when we were talking against our tree?” he asked her, the grip on her arms becoming tighter but not painfully so.

She nodded mutely and he went on.

“I asked you to marry me. I asked you to spend the rest of your life with me. Do you remember what you said?”

“I want to marry you,” William said, his voice breaking through her reverie. Buffy pulled back and looked into his clear blue eyes.

“You want to marry me?”

“Is there something wrong with your ears?” he asked playfully.

Buffy slapped him against his chest and smiled.

“There’s nothing wrong with my pretty ears. I just want to make sure I heard you right.”

William smiled back and her and got on his knee. He held her left hand in his and looked up into her shining eyes.

“Buffy, we have known each other all our lives. I have never met a woman like you before. I love you with my entire being and with my entire soul. In my heart I know you are my other half. With you I am whole. I can’t imagine life without you. Will you make an honest man out of me and become my wife?”

Buffy blinked, trying to hold back tears and she sunk to her knees before him. He reached his sun-bronzed hand up to her face and wiped her tears away.

“Yes William I will marry you,” She whispered against his palm. William gave a shout of yes and kissed her, his mouth cruising possessively against hers.

“I told you yes,” she whispered, the memory causing tears to spring to her eyes.

“By rights you are my betrothed. In the eyes of God you are already my wife, we just don’t have the fancy piece of paper to back it up.”

Buffy’s eyes widened and she knew he was right. She hadn’t broken off their engagement. She just sent him away.

“What does that have to do with anything? We don’t have that paper so I am still not your wife. We are not married Spike.”

“Why didn’t you find me after your father died?”

“What? Because I didn’t know where you were.”

“My father did. My father always has. Why didn’t you ask him?”

The thought had crossed her mind. As soon as they put her father in ground she had wanted to find him. But by then it was too late. The miscarriage had already happened. The damage had been done.

“I figured your life had changed. You had moved on, met a woman, and fallen in love. I highly doubted you spent your moments thinking of me.”

“Well you’re half right. My life had changed. I was no longer a simple man with simple needs. I was taken aboard the ship and beaten til I was nothing. I thought I was going to die Buffy and I hoped for it. I prayed for death because nothing could be as bad as what I was going through.”

“Oh god Spike. I’m sorry.”

“No…don’t be. I am not telling you this for your sympathies. I’m telling you this because when it got so bad that I wanted to kill myself all I could think about was you. Your face, your eyes, the way you would bite your lip when you got nervous.”

Spike lessened his grip on her arms but didn’t let go.

“The day you said you’d marry me was the happiest day of my life. I loved you Buffy before I knew what love was. I had dreams, plans all involving you. I thought you felt the same way.”

“I did. I did feel the same way Spike.”

He grabbed her arms roughly again and forced her to look at him, their faces mere inches apart.

“Then why Buffy? Why did you send me away? Why did you break my heart?”

Like it? Hate it? Love it? Review Me!!