Songs Of The Phoenix: Never Ever

Author: AJ

E-Mail: PollarB27@aol.com

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel & Co. belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN and the WB Network. No copyright infringement intended. Never Ever belongs to the All Saints.

Summary: Willow has a nervous break down on the dawn of a new game, new players enter the old field, and Angel is somehow tied to.. a bird?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 

~Part: 1~

My head spinning, boy I'm in your debt, feel isolated, don't wanna to communicate, i'll take a shower, i will scour, i will run find a peace of mind, the happy mind i once owned...

*Slam!*

Willow slammed her locker so hard that it rattled the other lockers along the wall. The bell rang and sounds of voices faded as everyone left school for home. Willow sighed in relief as the silence surrounded her.

Willow fidgeted absentmindedly with the lock as her mind flashed on the image that she had just witnessed. Oz asked her that morning, to meet him in the infamous utility closet after school. So she went there hoping to find her sweetie. Instead, she was greeted by the disgusting sounds of Cordelia and Xander in a makeout session. <Some things never change.>

Breathing deeply, Willow leaned her head against the cool locker. <When will it end?> Living at the Harris's after the brutal murder of her parents only reminded her of the things she lost. She had hoped that the love and affection she had for Oz would help her move on.

Now, she had discovered that it wasn't enough. Her flame of hope died that morning after seeing Xander and Cordelia in the library kissing among the bookshelves and just recently the closet. Everyone she knew and loved were disappearing before her eyes. A vortex of complicated emotions churned in her heart.

*Slam!*

Willow hit the locker next to her with all of her strength.. She hoped that the physical pain would be enough to take her mind off the emotional pain and darkness that threatened to overwhelm her.

*Slam! Slam! Slam!*

"Willow!! I've been looking all over for you! What the hell are you doing?" Oz exclaimed. Taking her balled up fist, he gently touched her knuckles to see if anything was broken.

Willow looked at her swollen, bleeding knuckles. <Who the fuck cares?> She opened her hand and grimaced at the pain. Willow looked up at Oz and saw the

concern plastered on his face. Not wanting him to worry, she put on a "happy face."

"See! Nothing broken!" <But my heart>

Willow smiled with a glint in her eye. "Come on. Let's go to the library. Giles has a first aid kit there. Don't worry. It just hasn't been a good day."

Oz was worried about the look that had flashed onto her face, and her sudden shift in mood. <What's going on in there?> He wondered.

Oz was concerned that she never got over the shocking murder of her parents in LA that happened two months after the 'incident' with Angel. Shocking considering the fact that the murder was a car-jacking in the wrong part of town. <Ironic that it wasn't the supernatural forces of the Hellmouth that made Willow an orphan, but the stupid racism of humans.>

While Willow's parents were gone on their business trip, Willow had made a second attempt at restoring Angel's soul which almost killed her in the process. She was successful but weak. Then she received news about her parents in LA.

<Now this.> He mentally sighed. No mattered how hard he tried to show her love and support and encouraged her to talk, the more she played the braveheart.

"Come on. Let's go!" Willow tugged on Oz's hand and pulled him in the direction to the library.

<I hope she's alright.>
 
 'Never ever, ever, have i ever felt so low, when are you going to take me out of this black hole , never ever, ever, have i ever felt so sad, the way i'm feelin yeh, you got me feelin really bad, never ever, ever, i've had to find, i've had to dig a way to find my own peace of mind, i've never ever had my conscience to fight, the way i'm feelin', yeh, i just don't feel right...

Three days later...

"Willow, open up! Willow!" Xander screamed at the door for the fiftieth time.

No answer.

"Willow! Open up! You can't hide from me and you know it! I'm going to bust this door down now!"

"If you're going to do that, you'd better let me do it. You may hurt yourself." A calm voice behind him replied.

"Wha...?"Xander whipped around to see Buffy looking at the door with concern.

"Buffy, it's good you got here in time. I have never seen her like this. Willow said that she wasn't feeling well so Mom let her stay home. I knocked on the door and there was no response. It's locked firmly. Mom said Willow never responded for soup earlier. Willow loves mom's chicken soup! What are we going to do? She won't let us in?" Xander was starting to get frantic..

"Bust it down , of course!" Buffy huffed and pushed Xander out of the way.

" Buff, I was bluffing..."

*BOOM!*

The door slammed open with a tremendous crash.

"Willow?" Buffy glanced around the room.

"Wills!" Xander pushed past Buffy into the room and looked at the bed.

"Willow!" he crossed to the bed and shook the form lying face down among the covers.

"Oh, my....Buffy, call an ambulance!"

"What's wrong? What's wrong with her?" Buffy rushed to the bed, as Xander turned the pale fragile Willow over.

"Call an ambulance! I can barely feel her pulse!" Xander screamed wildly.

Buffy then noticed the empty pill bottles on the dresser. She turned and ran to make the call.

Stay tuned...

next

back