Distant Past

Author: Ann_Akay

Parts 1-8

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Co. belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and the WB Network. No copyright infringement intended.

Rating: PG-13

Authors's note: This is set after the whole "Lover's Walk' deal. I don't know a thing about Irish accents so forgive me.)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Willow Rosenburg sat in the middle of her bed flipping through the pages of the large, ancient spellbook. She sat doing the same thing for about ten minutes. She wasn't too sure of what she was lookong for. Anything to make the pain go away.

< Don't even go there Rosenburg > she chided herself.

It had only been a few days ago that she and Xander had been kidnapped by Spike, they had kissed, Oz and Cordy had walked in on them, they tried to explain in the brief seconds before Cordelia had ran away, unable to take the pain, falling through the ceiling and piercing her stomach with a rod of iron.

( I really messed this one up. Everyone was happy before that stupid dance. Buffy and Angel were getting along Xander had Cordelia and I had Oz. )

She sighed not wanting to think about it anymore yet she couldn't. She and Xander hadn't spoken since the ordeal. Things wouldn't be the same between them, ever.

(Yeah, we won't really be best friends, but when was the last time we actedlike bestfriends? Since he started seeing her.)

She didn't blame Xander for their friendshp falling apart. She blamed herself. She made no efforts to get the closeness of their relationship back when she had found out about Cordy. Frankly she didn't want to, all she could see when she looked at hom was the fact that he'd chose her over him. Maybe she should've set aside those feelings and tried harder.

Oz probably hated her. She'd betrayed him. He was such a sweet guy. She hadn't really given things between them a real chance. She knew why, she didn't really feel a connection with him. Sure, there were sparks in the beginning, but now they'd died. Maybe that was why she'd cheated.

(Maybe if I would've waited they would've come back.) she thought. (Now I'll never know.)

A light breeze blew through the room. Willow snapped out of her thoughts, looking at the window, she noticed that it was closed, and her french doors were closed.

She shrugged it off as another weird occurence in Sunnydale.

She looked at the page in the book she'd been absently staring at for the past few minutes.

"Latter-Day Life Regressions," she read the title. "Sounds fun."

She became excited that she could learn about her past life. It was a simple enough spell, chant a few words, then sit back and watch your past life. It gave her something to do, she'd been so restless for the past couple of days.

Slowly she began to chant the words,"Father of time I ask thee to grant permission to see the latter-day through my own eyes. To witness what I must."

She repeated the words until she could feel her eyelids closing, she tried to fight it but her attempts were feeble. She coud feel her body relaxing against the bed.It felt so good. A smile approached her face, as her mind strayed.

End Part 1

"I don't want to. Mother, you mustn't let him do this to me,"

Katherine McKinely's eyes were full of tears, they pleaded for someoe to take away her pain.

"There is nothing I can do," she hung her head.

"Accept it," her father's voice cut through the air like a knife.

"You shall marry Reagan in a month."

" But I don't want to. I hate him. He is nothing more than a druken pig. He scatters his seed across the country like a farmer scaters his across a farm."

Katherine was unprepared for the strong blow that came from her father's hand. She heard her mother gasp.

"Must you be so crude."

"She isn't to talk about her future hisband in such a fashion. She'll get a lot worst if she is to act this way in front of him."

Katherine touched the spot where she had been struck. It stung but it probably wouldn't leave a bruise.

"Katherine, your father didn't mean it," Anna apologized.

Andrew McKinely's face showed otherwise. It was cold, unfeeling.

There was a moment of silence throughout the small space of the McKinely kitchen only the sound of the fire crackling could be heard.

"I suppose I should get supper started,''Anna spoke getting up to busy herself around the room.

" You should be grateful," Andrew directed at his daughter. "Your mother has to do work suited for men of the feild to feed us. When you marry Reegan you will become a member of one of the richest families.
You will not ever lift a finger."

"I'm rejoicing at the thought," she replied sarcastically.

Andrew seemed to be contemplating whether or not to hit her once more.

"I'm going to the pub."

"What of supper?" his wife asked.

He glarred at her then left thruogh the kitchen door letting in a gust of wind.

"He is just like the rest of the men in this place. Lazy, always letting the women do the work take the credit and are always drunk," she sat at the small wooden round table with her arms folded.

"He is your father, you mustn't speak of him that way," Anna sat beside her abandonin her work.

Katherine suddenly burst into tears. "Mother I don't want to marry him. Please don't make me. I belong to someone else."

"I'm sure he'll understand."

"I don't want him to. I want to leave this place," she cried.

Anna pulled her daughter into a hug trying to soothe her sobs."I'm sure Angelus will understand. He knows the duties people have to do. He will understand that it is your duty to marry his brother."

"I loove him so much. I don't want to hurt him."

"You have to. He will understand," Anna assured.

"Mother, I will never be happy with anyone else."

"I know," she held on to her daughter."Everything will be alright."

End Part 2

Katherine felt as if she was carrying the weight of the world. Over and over she kept asking herself how this could've happened. Why would Reagan want to marry her. They hardly spoke, unless it was necessary, it was rarely necessary.

She never saw him much, he was never in church or in the market. From what she knew he was mostly at the local pub, a place she'd never set foot in.

She sighed trying to release the tension in her body. It wouldn't leave her. she thought crying in her mother's arms would've helped but it hadn't, she felt somewhat worst.

She'd stopped weeping long enough to help her mother prepare supper. They'd eaten in silence. Katherine didn't taste any of the food, she wasn't very aware of her enviroment. Thoughts of Reagan, Angelus, and her upcoming wedding haunted her.

After the horizon faded into the distance she set about doing her needlework, pricking herself due to lack of concentration. Her father wandered into the house soon after, drunk, barely able to hold up himself. Anna put him to bed deciding it was also time for her to sleep. Katherine waited until she was sure they were asleep to leave.

It was a nightly ritual for her. She'd wait til her parents were asleep before leaving to meet Angelus. It saddened her to think these could be thir last meetings.

They met in the woods not far from her home, far enough from prying eyes and their homes. Their place was the small pond in the wood. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen, especially on the nights of the full moon when the moonbeams would dance across the rippling water.

Katherine's ears perked up as she heard the sounds of the earth being disrupted by footsteps. She smiled knowing who it was. He always arrived after her, his home was quite a distance.

"Katherine," she heard him say.

he turned looking for him, he stood leaning against a large tree. The moonlight illuminated his face,showing the delicate angles of his jaws and cheekbones.

"Angelus," it came out in a whisper. The tension from her body disappeared, replacing it with an ache to touch him.

He smiled at her,"who else would it be?"

She gathered up herself enough to approach him. As soon as she neared him she flung herself into his waiting arms.

They stayed this way for a while neither speaking nor moving, she held on to him with all she had in her not wanting to let go. The harsh realization that she would have to let him go came to her. The tears came soon after.

" Reagan told me of his plans today," he said. "I want you to know that I understand."

"You do?" her question came out in a sob.

"I don't like it but I understand," he held her close. " I suppose this is my fault."

"How?" she couldn't concieve the thought of how he could be responsible.

"I should've asked before Reagan suddenly felt as if he needed to marry."

"Why didn't you ask? I don't blame you. I just want to know," she had stopped crying.

Angelus sighed," I don't know. I guess I thought we had all the time in the world for marriage. I gess I was wrong."

"I have to marry him. I know this, but I do not have to love him and I won't. My heart belongs only to you."

Angelus smiled,"I don't doubt that. It hurts to think that you will be with him when I cannot. But I think it will hurt you more."

Katherine shuddered at the thought of being in Reagan's bed. She'd heard in the market, the girls from the local brothel speaking of Reagan. He was not gentle with any of them. She'd felt such sympathy for them. Now she felt it for herself.

" I'm afraid," she admitted.

"I am afraid you have reason to be. My brother is anything but gentle. Being his wife will not bring you happiness. Or so I hope."

"I won't be," she assured him. "How could I be happy with anyone that is not you."

He kissed her hair,"I love your hair, always have. Red like the silk imported from China."

She giggled,"It is not."

"Oh? Have you ever seen red silk?"

"Well,no."

He chuckled," I love your eyes, green like the moss on the earth and your skin is as exquisite, like nothing I've ever seen."

She laughed," You always seem to know how to make me feel as if I'm the only person alive, as if.....," she couldn't explain it.

"You're a queen. You're the queen of my heart, always will be."

She smiled," I just want it to be you and me tonight."

"I could never refuse you," he swept her up into a kiss that seemed to take all the pain away.

End Part 3

"You left last night."

Katherine froze at her mother's words. She stopped sweeong the kitchen floor. "Do you deny it?"

"No point in doing such a thing," she replied.

"I wish you would't see him. You're making this harder. It will be harder for you both to let go when you are married. I don't plan on having an adulteress as a daughter," Anna sat at the table.

"I do not plan on betraying my husband no matter how vile he is, though I do not plan on giving him my love, Angelus has that," she sat across from her mother.

A moment of silence past before either spoke.

"When I first learned from you that you and Angelus were seeing each other I was so happy. I thought this was the best oppurtunity for you. He would ask for your hand and you would leave this place to live in that magnificient house," she took her daughter's hand. "Your father didn't see it that way. You know he feels about the lad."

Katherine knew how he felt. To him Angelus was just a dreamer, nothing good woud come of him. Katherine admired the part of him her father hated so. She loved the dreams and fantasies he had. His flights of fancy would change evry now and then, but one remained the same. He
wanted to sail the seas as a sailor, maybe even become a captain. He loved the water and all it's grace. He would've followed his dream if he didn't feel so obligated t his family to stay. That was another part of him she loved, he always but his dreams aside to what he thought he had to do.

"Katherine, have you and Angelus.......," Anna's voice trailed off.

"No," she replied.

Anna sighed,"You must keep it that way. If Reagan were to ever find you were not a virgin....... I can't even imagine," she shuddered.

"I won't disgrace you or father," Katherine vowed flatly. It appeared this mariage was more about appearances and everything else but her.

" It doesn't seem fair that Reagan is alowed to frolick about the place and you are to sit and be perfect."

"He's a man, he's allowed to have freedoms I am not," she said although she was disgusted by the idea.

"Katherine, this is for the best in a sense. You're marrying the heir to the McDuff legacy it is better than marrying his brother, no matter how much you love him."

Katherine tok her hand from Anna's grasp," I find this whole thing revolting. I'll live in a large house, one day I'll be mistress of the manour, I'll have fine dresses, money, I'll go to parties, but I won't be happy. I'd rather marry the brother of the heir because I love him. I can't though because my father has agreed to the marriage, I have no say."

"I know how you feel about him, there was a time when I would've been happy for your love, but now that things have changed I only hope that you will put him out of your mind. Don't ruin what you know is best."

Katherine was about to argue with such a notion but she'd had enogh of the conversation. Her and her mother would never have the same view on her impending marriage.

End Part 4
Part 5

Katherine sighed as she stood looking out at the vast forest that stretched in front of her. she didn't plan on going in, she only went in after dark to meet Angelus.

She stood remembering how they'd met. she'd tripped over him in an alley in the market one day about eight months before. She could've sworn she fell in love with him when she saw the endless depth in his brown eyes. He'd apologized even though he'd done nothing wrong.

They'd gotten up and began speaking, it had suddely dawned on her who he was. She had felt a bit inadequate in his presence. He was from a higher class than her. It was uncommon for the classes to mingle.

Katherine stopped at the realization. She was of a different class than Reagan, why would he want to marry her? His parents and people of their wealth looked down upon people as herself. They surely couldn't be happy about this. It would be as if he were bringing n a dog in their midst. He didn't love her there had to be more to this.

"You look to be deep in thought."

Katherine whirled around, she almost lost her balance when she saw that it was Reagan. He stood about two feet from her, behind him she could see a midnight black horse a few yards away.

" You were so deep in thought you didn't notice me. I came on a ride I didn't expect to see you."

"I don't care why you are here," she shot at him angrily.

Reagan raised a dark brow,"You are angry."

"You are a grand observer," she was sarcastic.

Reagan shifted his weight from one foot to the other uncomfortably,"Obviously you are not happy about our marriage."

"No, I'm not happy about it. I fon't uderstand it either. Why?"

Reagansmirked at her. Katherine was sure she could see a touch of evil in him. He wan't a gentle man he wasn't someone she was going to enjoy being married to. It was in his eyes. She saw the cruelness he was capable of on his ice blue orbs.

"You shouldn't ask so many questions, you should just be grateful."

"I'm not grateful, I have no reason to be."

" You don't?"he seemed a bit surprised. "You are getting a chance that a lot of girls would kill for."

"Did I ever say I wanted this chance," she narrowed her eyes at him.

"How would you know? You've nevr spoken to me. I'm surprised you even know who I am."

"I know who you are. Loyal, obedient, hard-working. Perfect to be my wife. Any wife of mine would need those qualities."

"Then why didn't you chose some girl of your own stature? I am not from your class. There's more to this," Katherine wasn't stupid when it came to people. She could feel that Reagan was up to something.

He smiled," You aren't as stupid as I thought you were. I guess that is why Angelus has taken a liking to you."

She frowned, hardly believing what he'd said.

He laughed at her reaction. "A normal farm girl would've just been happy and not asked a question but you, you're not a normal farm girl."

"What does your brother have to do with this?"

"Katherine," he gazed at her amusingly. "You are a pretty little thing. I shall have fun with you."

The look he gave her made her shudder, she wrapped her arms around herself for warmth.

"Do you know that Angelus has composed a song for you. He practices it on the piano in the parlour. It's calle Katherine, naturally."

A sense of dread filed her body, she could tell what he had to say was going to have a profound impact on her.

"Why?" she asked again.

"Because I want to. I needed a wife to keep up appearances for the family. I thought of choosing someone of my stature but then I stumbled upon the little secret you and my brother were keeping. Went out for a long walk one night and there the both of you were."

"Why ask for my hand?" she demanded.

"Do you know what it's like to always be regarded as second best, to be always compared to your younger brother," he said angrily."My brother isn't much but people seem to think he's a lot more than I am. I've waited all my life for my revenge and on our wedding day that's exactly what I'll get." he smiled.

Katherine stood stunned, unable to move or speak. She now knew why she was going to be wedded to Reagan. It was one of the worst reasons.

"I am just a pawn in your game of revenge against your brother."

"Most pawns are not going to be well treated as you are."

She couldn't see a man before him. She only saw a hate-filled monster. She felt the ache to hit him, but she couldn't stand up to a large man as Reagan.

"The look on Angelus' face was priceless when I told him we were to be married. Words couldn't describe it. I can only imagine his face when we say our vows," he laughed. "Revenge will be sweet."

"Go away," she told him. "Leave me alone."

He grinned at her,"I bet the hardest part of this for you is that you know all this and there's nothing you can do about it. You can tell Angelus but it won't change a thing. You are bound by honour to me. You can't get out this no matter what you do. Too many things forbid you, your family, your people."

" Go away," she repeated."I cannot stand another moment of being in your presence."

"A word of advice, get used to y presence you will be in it more than you will like."

Katherine still felt him around her even after he'd gotten on his horse and left. He was in her thoughts. She couldn't forget his revelation. He hated Angelus, marrying her was his way of getting his revenge. She was being used in the worst possible way, he was right. She could't do anything about it. She coud only stand by and watch her beloved hurting because of his brother.

She collapsed on the lush green carpet of grass in tears. She'd never felt so helpless. Nothing she felt could compare to what she was experiencing. She had a choice, she could tell Angelus of his brother's revenge or she wouldn't. She didn't want to cause trouble between them. She didn't want him to be in even more despair. He was losing her, the last thing he needed was the knowledge that his brother was plotting revenge against him.

She'd made up her mind, he wouldn't know, he couldn't. She was doing what she thought was best. She loved him, she was protecting him from the pain.

A few moments later she collected herself from the ground, drying her eyes with her hands. The road ahead was going to be difficult and painful, hopefully she'd made it less painful for Angelus.

End Part 5

Hours turned into days. For Katherine each day was worst than the last. The news of her upcoming wedding traveled quickly throughout the town into neighboring towns and into Galway. A neighbor who'd been in Galway had overheard the news in a marketplace conversation.

People Katherine hardly knew came to congratulate her on her good fortune. She would smile politely and thank them. Inside she would curse them and hope they would go away.

Her once peaceful life was disturbed a great deal. Girls she once called her friends refused to speak to her because of their jelousy. She didn't cry, she refused to let her emotions show to anyone except Angelus.

She was almost cold to her parents, her father didn't seem to notice. He was too busy drinking and bragging to the town of his daughter's good fortune. Anna however notice, Katherine knew she'd noticed the change and it was tearing her apart but she couldn't stop her behavior.

Angelus never really spoke of the wedding, he'd mention little bits of information, but he'd never make a conversation out of the topic, nor did she want him to. They went as though there not going to be a wedding. For those few hours she was completely content. It was only the two of them.

The wedding was only a week away, every time the wedding was mentioned Kaherine would have a sick feling in her stomach. At night she would silently cry herself to sleep. She felt as if her world was ending right before her eyes and she could only sit and watch.

Katherine sat by the fireplace one dark afternoon doing her needlework. She could hardly concentrate. Her mind kept straying to Reagan's revelation weeks ago.

She stayed firm with her decision and had not told him. Beneath his anger at his brother she was sure he still admired him, she knew he always had.

"Katherine," Anna entered the small sitting area.

Katherine acknowledged her with a nod putting down her work. "Something you'd like?"

"No," she sat across from her in on old rocking chair. "I have something for you. It was given to me by my father when I was a young girl. He was a blacksmith and a jewler, he made this," she unfolded a small cloth on her lap holding up a claddagh ring. "He made this before he died. I thought of giving it to Andrew but it didn't seem right to do so. It feels right to give it to you now. So,I give this to you to give to, whichever man you please," she handed her the ring then left.

Katherine held the ring looking at it, she knew exactly who to give it to.

She looked up at the sound of a carriage approaching. She wondered who it was, they weren't expecting anyone not that she knew of.

She got up walking to door and opening it. A carriage stopped by the well her father was near. Reagan got out proceeding to speak with her father. They glanced in her direction then proceeded to talk once more.

"What's going on," Anna came behind her.

"I don't know. Reagan's here though," she replied wishing she could hear what they were saying.

Her father began to make his way towards the house, a smile on his face was apparent as he got closer.

"What's going on?" Katherine demanded as he neared, she tightened her fist around the ring.

"Reagan's come to take you to the house," he grinned.

"Why?" Anna demanded.

"The wedding is in a weeks time. He thought it best that she get used to the house and her new family."

"I see," she looked at her daughter.

"You needn't a thig. Everything you'll ever need is at the house," he grabbed Katherine pulling her towards the carriage.

Anna ran after them, walking quickly beside her daughter,"Never forget that I love you, we love you. We will always be here no matter what."

Katherine could see the tears in her mother's eyes."I love you too. I'm sorry," she wasn't sure why she was apologizing.

"So am I," Anna stopped walking.

Katherine took a last look at her mother before turning around. She felt as if she were being dragged to her death, in a way she was.

Reagan stood by the carriage door smiling.

"She's all yours," Andrew slightly shoved her towards Reagan.

"If I didn't know better, I would think you are glad be rid of me," Katherine faced her father.

"Just go," he said before turning to walk back to the house.

Reagan chuckled before getting into the carriage.

Katherine took a last look at the place she'd called home for seventeen years. The memories came to her in a flash. She climbed into the carriage closing the door.

"That was entertaining, better than the theatre."

Katherie turned her attention from the passing scenery to scowl at him.

"Forgive me. I was supposed to get you sooner but I thought I'd be generous and give you a bit more time with my brother."

"The sound f her voice irratates me, would you be so kind as to closing it," she retorted politely.

Reagan laughed,"You're a little spitfire aren't you."

Katherine cast her eyes out the window of the carriage.

"Angelus knows not a thing of my plans, does he?"

"No, he does not," she kept her gaze outside the window. "He doesn't need another thing in his life to go wrong in his life."

"Oh, you're protecting him. He's a grown man. He can handle it."

"I don't want him to. I don't want him to go through such a betrayal, one is enough don't you think?"

Reagan didn't reply.

The rest of the ride was in silence. As they neared the large house on top of a hill Katherine felt sick. She didn't want to be here most of all live at the house.

As she entered the house she was awed by the beauty it held. The wonderful marble floor, the lovely portraits of long dead, an very much alive McDuffs. Her eyes lingered on Angelus' portrait.

The artist had captured him perfectly. His dark hair, deep brown eyes, his perfect nose. Unlike the other portraits his soul was reflected from the picture.

"My family's waiting for us," Reagan led her to the family parlour.

It was a magnificient room. Paintings adorned the wall, a piano was by the window which was covered on heavy ruby red drapery. The McDuffs sat on the couches round the small table in the center of the room.

"Ah, Reagan. You're home," Megan McDuff looked up from her needlework smiling at her son.

"Mother," he made his way over to kiss the dark haired woman. She wore a lovely white dress with a flowing skirt.

Katherine felt out of place in her simple dress, lacking a bodice. She seeme fit to be a servant not Reagan's wife.

"She's a darling," Meagan looked at Katherine, she stood up to greet her. "My you are a very beautiful girl," she smiled.

"Thank you," she smiled pleasantly at her.

Aidan McDuff got up from his seat. "You've chosen well," he said to Reagan.

Katherine was quite confused. She hadn't expected them to be so accepting of her. She was of a lower class, someone beneath them.

"Is something wrong?" Megan asked seeing the confused look on her face.

"She didn't expect such a welcome," Reagan answred for her.

"I see. We're very happy that you're going to join our family, no matter where you come from," Megan took her hand.

"Yes, you shall be a grand addition to our family," Aidan took her hand and kissed it."Reagan made a wise decision."

"Angelus, Don't just sit there, introduce yourself," Reagan turned to his brother.

Angelus got up from the couch to introduce himself, he took Katherine's hand and kissed it. He gave her a sad, small smile. "It's an honour to finally meet you."

"You too," she barely managed out seeing the sadness in his eyes, this was not easy for him.

Reagan smirked at her when she shot him a look of pure hatred. "Come, I will show you to your room," Megan began to lead her out of the room.

She could hardly believe this was happening. Angelus' eyes haunted her. She hated Reagan for causing him such pain and savouring every moment of it.

It hurt to know that in a sense she was the cause of his pain.

She held back the tears as Meagan lead her to the large guest room where shewould e staying until the wedding room. She didn't notice the magnificent room and all it's wonder. She only thought of the man she loved and the pain he was going through. She wished she could make it go away, she couldn't.

Katherine looked at the ring in her hand, she held it to her lips and kissed it. Her love for Angelus was eternal. They would be together again, if not now, later. She had to have hope that would happen. It was all she had left.

End Part 6

Katherine was awoken by the rays of sunlight coming into her room.

She was confused when she sat up in bed. She wondered where she was and what she was doing in such a strange place.

"You look absolutely breathtaking while you sleep." Reagan sat in a chair by her bed.

"Oh, get out," her memory returned as she heard him speak.

"Soon, we'll share bed chambers. Get used this sort of thing."

She scowled at him.

He smiled. "Mother has the tailor and dressmakers here ready for our fittings. Many lovely dresses for you to try on," he got up leaving.

Katherine let out a breath she'd been holding. Her brain was telling her to leave as soon as she could. She didn't want to marry Reagan so why should she?

Yet, she knew she wouldn't leave. She didn't want to dishonour her parents snd she didn't want to leave Angelus.

"Dying would be a good thing at this moment," she muttered throwing the large covers off her body, getting out of bed. She noticed she couldn't find her clothes anywhere instead she found a new pale blue dress sitting on on the trunk at the end of her bed. She picked up the dress feeling the soft material. She'd never had something so lovely in her possesion. She was just a poor farmer's daughter after all.

She sighed sadly dropping the dress. She'd have all the material things she'd asked for but not love in her marriage. Angelus would probably marry after the wedding. The thought of atending Angelus' wedding to anther saddened her.

Katherine made her way into the living room. It was empty. She felt out of place. She didn't belong in this strange world she'd always wondered about. She would've given anything to have all this before but now things had changed, she wanted nothing at all but to leave it behind.

"You're thinking about something."

Katherine felt a tingle go down her spine when she heard Angelus speak.

She smiled turning to him. "What were you thinking about?"

Her face darkened,"I don't belong here. I don't know how to act like a lady. I don't even know how to act a dinner table.

"You'll learn. Being a lady isn't as hard as it looks."

"I wish I could go home. I'd do anything to see the farm again."

"I want to hold you but it wouldn't be right."

Her face fell, her heart suddenly felt heavy.

"We have to stop thinking about each other the way we used to."

"I can't do that and neither can you, you know that," she responded softly. "Try. We have to try. It would be wrong. Forget about me."

"Can you forget about me?" she asked.

"Of course not but I'm not the one getting married. It's best you do."

"For who?"

"You, me. Reagan, our families. I don't want to do this but."

He was interupted by Meagan who'd abruptly entered the room.

"Katherine, the dressmakers are getting restless you can get to know Angelus at another time. Come," she took her by the hand leading her out the room. Katherine looked back at Angelus' sad brown eyes. She felt tears coming to her eyes but she forced them back she couldn't cry at amoment like this.

For the rest of the day Katherine put on a happy veneer. She pretended as if her heart wasn't bleeding. Angelus' words had hurt her. She knew he thought he was doing what he thought was best for her. What was best for her didn't include forgetting him. She had spent the day trying on various dresses the dressmaker thought would be perfect for her. Meagan had told her they would've made her dress if Reagan hadn't failed to get her to the house sooner. They finally decided on a simple, light dress that Katherine adored. "It's so beautiful,"

Meagan held up the dress inspecting the embroidery on the bodice. Katherine stepped off the stool she'd been standing on for the last few hours. "Yes, it is."

"The wedding will be so beautiful. I'm glad my son is marrying someone such as you. I know you feel you're not good enough but you're perfect," she smiled, then frowned. "I worry about Angelus though. He does not seem very interested in marrying or doing anything playing the piano or going to the docks and looking out at the water."

"I'm sure everything will work out for him."

Meagan gave her a weak smile. "Somehow I feel you're right. You're probably tired from all that standing. I was when I was getting wed. You should sleep. I shall do taht as well. The men of the house are off calebrating Reagan's good fortune. I have nothing to do."

Katherine gave her a weak smile.

Meagan was such a lovely woman. She would love her as a mother-in-law. She and Aidan were nice people. She hated lying to them, pretending she wanted to spend the rest of her life with their oldest son.

Katherine felt under her pillow for the ring her mother had given her. She felt comforted when she felt the cold silver in her hands. She would give it to Angelus soon. There would be time.

Katherine bolted upright in bed when she heard the scream. It was unlike any scream she'd heard, filled with sheer pain and agony. She pulled off the blankets running to the door on instinct. She screamed when a sreak of lightening flashed outside her window, a loud thunderclap could be heard afterwards. Katherine opened the door running into the hallway. Something was wrong she could feel it. She heard frantic voices down the stairs. She recognized Meagan and Aidan's as well as Reagan's. It had lost it's arrogance and now held fear. She slowly walked down the stairs, the voices got louder. She could hear what they were saying.

"How could this happen? You were supposed to be with him. You know it isn't safe to be alone at night," Aidan said in an angry tone. "I trusted you to take care of him instead you got him drunk and let this happen!"

Katherine stopped. Something had happened to Angelus. She knew it. Her breathing became faster. She began to go down the stairs faster. Her fear increased as she went down each stair. She prayed as she went down that whatever it was wasn't too terrible. Nothing could've prepared Katherine for the scene before her as she entered the parlour. Her throat tightened, no words could escape her lips. The family was gathered around Angelus' still body laying on one of the couches. He was ghostly white. Dead. She stood in shock.

"Oh, dear," Meagan realised she was at the doors.

"You shouldn't have to see this," Aidan told her softly.

Katherine didn't know she was crying until she felt the tears down her cheeks. She knew what a dead person looked like she'd seen many in the forest, victims of theives and murderers. She stood unmoving still in shock. She saw Angelus in front of her, dead but somehow she couldn't believe it.

She looked at Reagan accusingly. "Happy?" she asked him. "He's out of your way now. You've won."

"I didn't do this."

"I don't believe you."

"What's going on here?" Aidan demanded looking at his son.

"I didn't kill him. We were thrown out of the pub, we were walking, the next thing I remember is waking up in the street. I went looking for him and I found him in the alley. I didn't kill him."

"Why would you? Why does she have reason to believe you did?" Meagan asked through tears. She took Angelus' hand holding on to it while stroing it.

Reagan opened his mouth to speak but closed it. Aidan looked at Katherine for answers.

"I don't think I should be the one to reveal such secrets. I won't make this easy for you," She directed at Reagan. "We're going to talk outside," Aidan pulled his son out the room.

Katherine looked at Angelus' body. Even in death he was beautiful. The tears came harder. She didn't think thattsuch a thing would ever happen.

"You loved him," Meagan said.

Katherine didn't speak for a moment. "Very much."

"Did he love you?"

"Yes."

"Come here," Meagan motioned her over.

Katherine went to Angelus' side kneeling beside Meagan. Meagan took her hand in her own. "Know this child, if your love is as strong as you think it is, it won't end you'll meet again. Do you believe that?"

Katherine nodded.

"Believe it with all your heart."

Katherine looked at the ring in her hand she hadn't realised she'd brought it with her. She glanced up at Meagan who smiled despite her pain. Katherine took Angelus' hand slipping the ring on his right middle finger. "I love you," she kissed it.

Meagan pulled her into a hug, Katherine held on tightly. Nothing compared to the pain she was feeling to. She would've lost him in a few days but it wouldn't have been like this. He was gone forever. She felt empty and hollow.

Katherine pulled away from Meagan turning to Angelus' form. She noticed the two strange holes on his neck.

"I don't understand. No, bruises or wounds," Meagan shook her head. "Might have been a blow to the head," Aidan entered the room. "Reagan explained everything. I'm so sorry, Katherine."

"It's alright."

"The wedding is no more. You're free to go."

"Freedom comes at a high price," she whispered.

"You're welcome to stay if you like as long as you please as an honoured guest."

"I will leave after the ceremony," she replied softly but firmly.

"If that is what you wish."

Katherine stared at the depths of the pond. It looked empty and lifeless similar to her soul. Angelus had been buried only a few hours earlier. She'd watched through vacant eyes as the ceremony proceeded. A part of her was still in shock, not believing that Angelus was dead. The other half had accepted it knowing what she had to do. Reagan had stayed out of her way. She was glad. She still didn't believe that he had nothing to do with his brother's death. She couldn't bring herself to believe him. It was the only explanation. She'd watched as Aidan and Meagan went from a happy couple to a haggard, depressed pair. Reagan looked to be in shock. Nobody had expected it to happen.

Katherine sighed. "Soon," was the only word she spoke before walkingtowards the water. Katherine let go all the fear she had felt in themorning.

The water rose higher as she walked further and deeper. She fought the need to hold her breath when her head was submerged. Her only thought was of her love.

Willow felt as if she couldn't breathe. She shot up gasping for breath. As she sucked in the air she looked around as if to assure where she was.

After she'd calmed she looked at the spellbook.

"Oh, Goddess."

End Part 7

Willow held her head in her hands as she tried to come to terms with her whole ordeal.

<It could've been a dream.> she thought. <No, too vivid to be a dream. I don't believe this.>

For the last hour she'd been trying to figure out what had happened. She refused to believe what she'd seen had actually occurred in the past. Angel would've told her, or would he.

<Could things get anymore complicated?> she wondered. <First I cheated with Xander, our significant others found out and now I do a spell that says I was in love with my bestfriends soulmate.>

Willow was brought out of her thoughts when the phone rang. She looked at it wondering if she should answer. After the third ring she went over to her bedside table to pick up the receiver.

"Wills, where were ya? I was getting worried," Buffy's bright and cheery voice came over the line. Underneath it all Willow could sense pain."Um, I was in the shower," she lied.

"Oh, I was wondering if you'd like to go bronzing. There's still time, it's not too late."

"No thanks." Willow didn't think she could handle seeing her friend after all that had happened.

"Still depresses about what happened, huh."

"No, it's not that. I'm just not feeling well."

"You seemed fine earlier."

Willow wished Buffy would just accept that she didn't want to go anywhere.

"I think I'm going to throw up so I have to go," she quickly put down the receiver.

<Great! She's probably going to come over to see if I'm okay.>

Willow decided to take a shower, possibly to clear her head. As soon as the warm jets made contact with her body she thought of Katherine. She remembered her nights with Angelus and how she'd ended her life.

She stopped lathering her body when a realisation hit her. Katherine had thought that Reagan had killed Angelus when it was Darla. She'd killed herself before he fully changed.

For he rest of the night she tried not to think about Angel, Katherine or the past. It was extremely hard but when she didn't think about that she was thinking about the ordeal between her Xander, Cordelia, and Oz. She remembered Cordelia's shocked and hurt expression and Oz's blank face, yet she could see a bit of emotion in his eyes.

Willow yawned as she got up. She'd had little sleep. She was too busy thinking to sleep. The more and more she thought she more she knew the situation between her Xander, Cordelia and Oz had to be dealt with quickly before any more damage was done and that denying her 'dream' as not real was getting harder.

She showered then put on her favourite yellow jumper and pink top. She ate breakfast alone since her parents were at a convention. After cleaning up she took a deep breath proceeding to school.

The halls of Sunnydale high were crowded as usual. Willow pushed her way through the throng of students to the library. She found Giles leafing through a book at the large table at the center of the room.

"Willow, hello," he gave her a smile.

"Giles, I need to talk to you. It's an emergency as in this can't wait."

"What is it?" his face grew serious. "Are you in danger?"

"I could be," she thought of what Buffy might do to her if she found out the 'dream' had been real.

"What is it?"

She was about to speak when Buffy and Xander entered the library.

"Hey, what's going on? What's with the serious faces?" Buffy asked.

"Nothing," Willow said before Giles could say otherwise. "Just talking about prophecies."

"Is the world ending again because that is getting really old."

"No, such thing," Giles replied.

The bell sounded for the first period. Willow took a deep breath of relief. The conversation would likely be over soon.

"Willow, I want to talk more about the prophecy, could you meet me here at lunch?" Giles asked.

"Sure. I could search the net for some info."

"What was that all about?" Buffy asked out in the hall as they walked to their classes.

"Nothing. It's just a little prophecy nothing to worry about."

Willow noticed how quiet Xander was being. Usually he would've made atleast three jokes already. She also noticed that he'd avoided looking at her or being near her, at the moment they were walking at Buffy's side.

"So, how's things going with Cordelia?" Buffy asked Xander.

He looked a the ground. "I called a few million times but she won't call me back."

"Just give her time. Anyone up for a trip to the bronze tonight?"

Xander shook his head as did Willow.

"How about Angel. You can go with him." Xander suggested.

Buffy's face fell. "We're staying away from each other for good. We can't be friends after being so much more."

Willow looked up at Xander as Buffy spoke he was looking right back. They quickly turned away.

The hours til lunch seemed to go slowly for Willow. To her it appeared that ninety years had passed by the lunch time the bell rung. She quickly ran to the library without going to her locker.

"I didn't expect you to be so early," Giles came out of the stacks.

"I just didn't want any interruptions," she sat at the table.

"Alright, tell me what's going on."

She took a deep breath," I did a spell that would show me my past life and from what I saw I was in love with Angel and I was forced to marry his brother but Angel died before that happened and I killed myself after the funeral," she summarized.

"Oh dear," Giles took off his glasses.

"I try to tell myself that it was just a dream but I didn't think it was."

"Can you get me the spell?"

"Right here," she pulled out the old book from her bookbag opening it to the spell's page.

Giles took the book from her, putting on his glasses to read.

"So, what do you think?" she asked when he was finished.

"It's very likely that the spell worked. We won't know for sure until we verify the facts and the only one who can do that is Angel."

"No, we can't do that."

"Why not?"

"You know that he doesn't like to talk about is past. "I think he'd be less likely to talk about it if I said anything."

"On the contrary I think he would talk about it if you brought it up."

"But what if it was just a dream? I don't want to make a mistake."

"Willow, I think you should talk to Angel. No one can answer your questions but him."

She sighed slumping in her seat. <This just isn't my month.>

End Part 8

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