"I could never love you" Angel whispered,"Willow you will never mean
anything to me, do you want to know why?" Angel took Willow's silence
as a yes "You're nothing.nothing at all little one" the last part was
spoken with such force and disgust that Willow physically crumbled
under his revulsion.
"So weak like a little kitten" Angel said softly brushing Willow's
hair from her face, he helped her stand. "I love Buffy you're a
distraction, a poor one at that but you do amuse me".
Willow woke from her nightmare to find tears running down her face as
she touched her face feeling the wetness beneath her fingertips she
began to sob.
<That was too real> Willow's mind screamed <Why can't I have
fantasies? Why is it always reality steps in on my dreams? >
It had been 5 months since Angel's return, Buffy was still missing
and Willow couldn't help but be slightly happy that was the case. She
got to spend time with Angel, she had never been interested in Angel
romantically he was Buffy's Greek-god beautiful to look at but he was
still Buffy's. It could have been Angel's vulnerability or his
determination to make amends for his actions as Angelus but somewhere
along the line she had fallen hard for the brooding vampire who
called her friend.
Willow had come to believe the vampire might return her feelings but
that was two days ago a lot had happened in those two days, Buffy was
back and although everyone was hesitant to let her slip back into her
previous position in their group they knew they needed the Slayer and
she in turn needed them.
Buffy had been stunned when she saw Angel, she knew immediately it
was her Angel not Angelus, she ran to him and showered him with
kisses crying softly in his comforting embrace. Willow had seen the
look in Angel's eyes as he held Buffy's form close, if she was honest
with herself she knew the moment Buffy came back Angel and his
turbulent relationship with the Slayer would be rekindled.
Although Willow had never deluded herself it still hurt to be
disregarded without so much as a backward glance. The pity Willow saw
in Giles and Xander's eyes as they watched Angel and Buffy's
reconciliation brought tears to her eyes and she had to swallow hard
at the sob her body was begging to release. Angel had looked up at
that moment and Willow flashed him a sad smile that barely concealed
her despair, Angel's response was strange to Willow he stared back
at
her as he stroked Buffy's back in a soothing motion whispering gentle
words of reassurance. His eyes never left Willows; it was Willow who
broke their eye contact she had to turn her back on the scene in
front of her, the love of her life in the arms of the woman who had
his heart.
"Oh Angel why can't you love me?" Willow whispered into the darkness
unaware of the shadow that stood concealed in the very darkness she
spoke to.
The shadow moved when Willow settled into her bed to cry herself to
sleep like she had done since Buffy's return. "Sleep well little
one," the shadow whispered his hand pressed against the glass of her
bedroom window.
Thinking she'd heard a noise Willow looked at her window, she saw the
moisture that surrounded the palm print on the window "Night my love"
she murmured as she settled back into her fitful sleep.
Angel walked away from the home of the witch who saved him from hell,
he tried to tell himself the feeling she stirred in him were based
on
gratitude and it was not love that filled his undead heart. He knew
she loved him, she had never said it but one day her eyes were filled
with friendship and affection and the next her eyes held a promise
of
a love that that would never die. Willow once told Angel her problem
was she loved forever; betrayals and deception could not end her love
because she could not live with herself if she could not forgive.
Angel wanted so much to have her love then, to be comforted by the
solidity and strength of a love like that. He had that love now but
he was hurting Willow and he could think of nothing to ease her pain.
Buffy was back and she wanted her Angel, Angel knew he was to
cowardly to let go of her love, after two decades without love he
couldn't forget the person who showed him how to love. Willow would
forgive him, Buffy needed him and perhaps the love he'd seen within
Willow's eyes was just a passing fancy he tried to tell him but deep
down he knew it was anything but.
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