**********
Willow sat at her desk in her dorm. Alone. It
seemed like she was always alone now. Buffy was
always off with Riley. Xander and Anya never seemed
to leave the basement. Even Giles was always busy
with something. For a while she’d been spending
time with Tara, but when it had become clear that
Tara wanted more than friendship, Willow had had to
let her down. They really hadn’t spent too much
time together since then.
So Willow had turned to the only thing that had
always been there for her. Her computer. She’d
spent time online, getting more involved in some
Wicca groups, even talking about getting together to
do some spells. But none of that had materialized
yet, and Willow was feeling a little lonely.
<A little! Ha! > Willow thought. <When Spike was
chained in Giles’ bathroom, I went over to hang out
with him. With Spike! >
Willow looked around the dorm room that seemed to be
a testament to the fact she was always alone. Buffy
hadn’t slept in her bed in weeks. She only came
home in the mornings to change clothes and have a
shower. Although recently Buffy had gotten a bag of
bag of clothes and stayed at Riley’s.
No one seemed to notice she was even around any
more.
Willow was so lost in her thoughts that she almost
missed the new e-mail she’d received. She opened
it.
<It’s from Cordelia, > she smiled. Then she
laughed. <Who’d have ever thought that Cordelia
would be the only friend who cared to talk to me? >
It was true though. Willow remembered the beginning
of her friendship with Cordelia. Willow had felt
terrible about what had happened between Xander and
herself, and she’d gone to find Cordelia. She’d
begun talking as soon as the other girl had opened
the door.
"Cordelia, I know I’m the last person you want to
see right now, and I don’t blame you. I mean, if I
was you I’d probably want to kick my ass right now,
not that I want you to, because I’m me, and I don’t
want my ass to be kicked. But you’re totally
justified if feeling angry, and I just wanted to
come over and tell you how completely sorry I am.
What Xander and I did was completely and totally
wrong, and you belong to the justified camp. We
deserve to pay for what we did. And pay and pay and
pay. Well, I’m sure you get the picture of that.
I’m not here to try to defend what I did at all,
because I shouldn’t have done it, and I know that
now, and I know that doesn’t help the past, but I
thought maybe you’d want to know that I’m really
REALLY sorry. I’ve wrecked two relationships, and
I’m sorry,” Willow spoke really quickly trying to
make sure she could get all she wanted to say in
before Cordelia slammed the door in her face.
“Willow,” Cordelia interrupted, “you’re babbling.
> Why don’t you come inside?”
Willow had gone inside and the two had spent the
whole day talking. Cordelia had forgiven Willow
that day. She knew how much Willow had always loved
Xander, and she knew that sometimes things spiral
out of control “like my relationship with Xander to
start with,” she had said.
Over their last year of high school, Willow and
Cordelia had grown closer and closer. Cordelia had
run to Willow when her father had lost all his
money, and the two had talked about everything that
touched their lives.
The others didn’t know about it, simply because
Cordelia didn’t want to get involved with them. She
helped with all the “apocalypse stuff” but she really
only wanted to spend time with Willow.
Willow, for her part, enjoyed having a friendship
that was completely unrelated to the slayerettes, at
least, unrelated on a daily basis.
Since Cordy had moved to LA, the two had e-mailed
very frequently. Two or three times a day, usually.
They also talked on the phone at least once a week,
just to make sure they never missed any topic.
Willow opened the e-mail eagerly.
'Will,
How ya doing, hon? Everything’s going fairly well
here in LA. How are the exams going? Yeah, like I
need to ask that, Ms. I-got-into-Oxford. ;) The
new guy I was dating turned out to be a dud, so I
dumped him last night. Good riddence, is all I have
to say about him.
Well, much as I’d love to write a really long
e-mail, I’ve probably taken enough time away from
your studying as it is. Call me soon.
Love,
Cordy'
It was a fun, breezy little e-mail, the type they
always exchanged, but somehow, this time, it just
hit Willow how much she missed having Cordelia
around to keep her company, make her laugh, and just
talk to. She reached the phone and dialed the
number.
“Angel Investigations, we help the helpless.”
“Cordy, it’s me,” willow managed to get out just
before she broke down crying.
“Will? Are you okay, hon? Talk to me, what’s going
on?”
**********
Cordelia was really worried. She’d answered the
phone, the same as always, to hear Willow burst into
tears. In all the time they’d been friends, the
only other time this had happened had been the day
Oz broke up with her.
“Will? Are you okay, hon? Talk to me, what’s going
on?” Cordelia could hear the concern in her own
voice. Angel popped in from the next room, with a
concerned look on his face. “It’s Willow. She’s
crying,” Cordelia mouthed to her boss.
“Okay Will, just breathe, okay? Whatever it is,
we’ll figure something out. Just talk to me.
Is it Buffy? Giles? Xander?” Cordelia tried to
coax Willow into talking.
“Oh, Cordy, it’s nothing like that. Everyone’s
fine,” Willow said, when she finally finished
crying.
“Everyone’s okay,” Cordelia mouthed to Angel. The
fear left his face, but the concern stayed. <A lot
of concern,> Cordelia noted, <Hmm….>
“It’s just I’m on my own. Again. I swear, it’s
like Buffy doesn’t even live here anymore. She’s
always with Riley. She doesn’t even come home in
the mornings to get changed, she just packs a bag,
and comes home on Sunday, to do her laundry and call
her mom. She doesn’t even realize I’m alive
anymore.
“And Xander? Don’t even get me started. He and
Anya don’t even seem to come up for air, so of
course, they don’t notice that I’m feeling
neglected.
“Now that I’ve said all this it seems kinda petty.
I mean, my friends are happy. Really happy. I
shouldn’t be concentrating so much on myself, when I
know how hard everything has been on them,” Willow
said.
“Willow, don’t even try that with me. Don’t blame
this on yourself. They are the bad here. How many
times have you been there for them? Like, a
million? And now that you actually need them, you
need someone to comfort you, where are they? Too
involved with themselves to even see it. Be angry
Will, and DO NOT blame this on yourself,” Cordelia
ordered.
“Thanks Cordy. I needed that. Plus, I still have
those stupid exams coming up. I mean, I’ve studied
and everything, but I’m still nervous. And even
after the exams, it’s going to be bad. Spring
break. Usually, Buffy, Xander and I are inseparable
during school holidays, but I doubt they’ll even
remember me this year. It’s just going to be
another week of me sitting in this dorm room alone,
only this time, without classes to distract me,”
Willow continued.
“Poor Will,” Cordelia consoled. “I wish I was
there, I’m sure we could find stuff to do together.”
Suddenly, Cordelia had a flash of inspiration.
“Will, come to LA for Spring Break! It’s perfect;
you and I can spend time together. We’ve got tons
of space here, since Angel bought the building.
It’ll be fabulous, Will, you’ll love LA.”
“Really?” Willow responded. “I mean, I’d love to,
but would it really be okay? I mean, I wouldn’t
want to impose or anything...”
“Willow,” Angel’s voice suddenly came over the phone
line, “you wouldn’t be imposing at all. We’d love
to have you. It’s been too long since I’ve seen
you. Since we’ve seen you,” he corrected quickly.
<Hmmm…> Cordelia thought <this is very interesting.>
“Yeah, Will,” she said aloud. “You’ve got to come
to LA. Please? Pretty please?” Cordelia begged.
“Well, after that, how can I say no?” Willow
replied, laughing. She felt so much better now.
Calling Cordelia had been the right thing to do.
End Part 1