Rated: R
Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer belong exclusively to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Warner Brothers. I'm just borrowing.
Part three in the Demon...Angel... Series.
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Muffling a yawn as she reached out to grab the glass of water Buffy had brought her, Willow kept her eyes focused on the warm quilt covering her. Her nerves had begun to settle somewhat. She had cried so much that there were no tears left in her, and above all else, she accepted that the time had come to explain things to her best friend. She didn't want to hide anymore. She just wanted everything to be over with.
As Willow took a sip from the glass, Buffy asked quietly, "Any better?" Willow nodded, then put the glass back on the bedside table. "Do you wanna talk about it? I mean, we don't have to..."
"It's all right... I want to..." She glanced warily up at her friend, "I think."
Buffy smiled gently, "Okay then." She took her friends hand. "Take your time, I've got nowhere to be."
Brushing her deep red hair behind her ears, Willow nodded again. She started to speak, her voice very low, her tone blank. The words had to be said, and the quicker she got them out, the better. "I fell asleep outside, and when I woke up, he was there. I tried to scream but he covered my mouth... He told me not to. Made me promise. He said he wasn't going to hurt me..."
"Is that what he calls forcing you to do something you didn't want to?" Buff was unable to keep the snide remark to herself, her anger with Angelus increasing with each word that slipped from her best friends lips. Willow physically cringed and Buffy apologized, "I'm sorry, Will. Go on..."
Willow continued, her body starting to tremble a little, scared by the dangerous flare in Buffy's eyes. "He..." She sighed. "Then he k-kissed me, and I tried to get away. I tried to push him, but he was too strong, so I just lay there." Buffy's supportive gaze urged her to go on, and Willow reluctantly did so. "He made me close my eyes. And then he touched me..." She ran her fingers absent mindedly over her lips, "It was... Weird... I don't know how to describe it... And then..." Now Willow's voice dropped away, her heart unwilling to let her go on. She stared at the quilt again, her trembling increasing.
Buffy asked, certain she knew the answer, "And then he forced you?" Confusion marred her face when Willow shook her head. The next word that escaped her was barely audible, "What?"
"Everything was fuzzy... And hazy... And... Like a dream..." Willow's breath began to come in short bursts, the fear inside her making her hyperventilate. "It didn't feel real... It was a dream and I... I... I thought h-he was someone else."
Knowingly, Buffy spoke softly, "Oz."
Willow's eyes remained dry, but the pain that welled up inside them had her wishing for tears as she confessed solemnly, "Angel."
"What?" Shock filled the Slayer's face.
"I thought he was A-Angel... Not Angelus..." Willow tried to explain, but the words in her head where beginning to mesh. "Like a dream. Not real. Dream..."
Buffy leaned a little closer to her friend, her voice almost too calm, "Why would you... Even if you thought it was Angel?" Willow was stumbling over the makings of a sentence, but no real words were coming out of her mouth. Unsure of herself, Buffy let her friends hand go and took her by the shoulders, shaking her with enough force to get Willow focused. "Why?"
Guilt in her eyes, in her voice, in her very pose, Willow whispered, suddenly finding enough moisture left in her eyes to form tears. "Before he changed... Before... I kinda... Just kinda had... Feelings..."
"*You* had the hots for Angel?" A tinge of angry disbelief filled Buffy's voice. "You had feelings for him?" She slowly began to put two and two together. "So when Angel, when he pulled this *trick* on you... He tricked you into believing it was *my* Angel, that it was a dream, and you had sex with him..." The next word was bitter, "Willingly." She groaned inwardly, "With my boyfriend..."
"No!" The word came out louder than intended, and Willow jumped at the sound of her own voice. "Angel and Angelus are different, Buffy. And no matter how I feel or felt or... Whatever... I'd never... You know... Not with Angel... Not for real... He's y-yours. He's always been... I know that." She started to sob, her chest aching on instant. It seemed like all she'd done for the past 24 hours. "Buffy... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... Please believe me... I wouldn't... Never... I'm sorry..."
Touched deeply by the sheer grief her friend was practically drowning in, Buffy felt the anger melting from her. She hugged Willow tightly, "Oh, Will, no. I'm the one who's sorry..." And she was. If Willow had feelings for Angel, then, well, she'd deal with that. But either way, her best friend in the entire world had been taken advantage of. She'd been tricked and used...
And Angel was going to pay for it with his unlife.
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Angelus rolled over on the plush bed, looking at the antique clock across the room. He grunted apathetically, "Still a few hours until sundown." He rolled onto his back again, "Dammit."
"Why Angel..." Druscilla slipped elegantly into the room, clutching one of her dolls tightly to the place her heart once beat within. "Are you bored?" She stepped across to the bed, moving onto it, stretching out on her stomach. Her doll landed with a thud on the floor, "Let Mommy fix it..." He held out a hand when she moved to kiss him, forcing her to keep her distance. She purred sadly, then lay her head on his stomach, watching him intently for a few moments. "Daddy wants to play, but not with Druscilla. Daddy wants to play with the little girl."
He laughed, impressed, "You never cease to amaze me, Dru. You know me so well."
She smiled, "Daddy's found a new toy. The Slayer is sad. She doesn't want that."
Angelus sat up, pulling Druscilla into a sitting position with him. She pressed her body against his, as he asked curiously, "What do you know, Dru? Did Willow tell Buffy?"
"She's hurt and angry... She wants to play too, but not how Daddy likes it. Her stakes are sharp and pointy and she wants to play..." She giggled, looking deeply into Angelus' eyes, "Will you play?"
"I will." When Druscilla again moved to kiss him, he pulled away from her, letting her fall onto her stomach on the bed again. He got up, "But not with you, Dru. And not with Buffy." He grinned darkly, "I'm going to play with Willow." Angelus started to make his way out of the room, but paused when he heard Druscilla call his name.
As he whirled to look at her, Druscilla giggled again, "Don't play too hard... She might break."
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Giles smiled gently at Willow when she entered the lounge, "Hello, Willow." He held out a small container, "I got Chinese, would you like some?"
She stepped further into the room and sat on the opposite end of the couch, "I'm not really hungry."
Buffy could be made out calling from the kitchen, "You eat something, Will. That's an order."
Handing her the container, Giles smiled, "Just a little. You really should eat something." She nodded carefully and took the container, Giles then handed her a fork, and she took that too, digging into the fried rice she held before her. Nervous, and not wanting to press her, Giles asked quietly, "Are you feeling better?" Willow nodded and Giles whispered, "Good. Good." Unsure what else to say, he turned his attentions back to his container of Lemon Chicken.
Clutching three glasses of Cola carefully in her hands, Buffy appeared, plonking all three down on the coffee table in front of the couch without spilling so much as a drop. She looked to Giles, "Where's mine?" He motioned toward the plastic bag on the table and she dug through it, eventually pulling out her Sweet and Sour Pork. She nestled back into a chair.
Quiet munching was all the noise there was in the room for a moment, each of them picking awkwardly at their dinner. Giles eventually spoke up, trying for general conversation, "You know, I don't think I've ever eaten lunch at 4 o'clock in the afternoon before."
"First time for everything." Buffy smiled at him, looking over at Willow. "How's the rice, Will?"
Swallowing her mouthful, Willow muttered, "Nice. Needs more baby prawns though." She looked at Giles, "Thank you for dinner." She picked up another forkful, "I didn't realize I was so hungry."
Silence ascended again. Eventually, after shifting uncomfortably in her chair a few times, Buffy asked quietly, "Would you... Er... Would you like to stay here tonight, Will. I mean, you're welcome to. Mom won't be home 'til late.""
Willow thought for a moment, then answered sadly, "I'd like to, but, I wasn't home this morning when my parents got up, not that they'd really notice. But not being there for breakfast and then not being there for dinner... You know." She sighed, "And I should start thinking about how I'm gonna tell Oz about... You know."
"I'm sure he'll understand." Giles spoke into his chicken, feeling too inauspicious to look up at Willow. "If you like, I can drive you home after we finish eating."
The red head smiled gratefully, "Thanks, Giles." She looked across at Buffy, asking, "What are you going to do tonight, Buffy?"
Trying to keep her voice as calm as possible, Buffy stated flatly, "I'm going to find Angel, and then," a hint of anger slipped unmasked into her eyes, "Right after I beat him into a bloody pulp, I'm going to kill him."
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When the phone rang by her bedside, Willow nearly leapt off the bed in fright. She'd been so lost in thought... She looked about her for a moment, surprised that it was now dark in her bedroom. When the sun had gone down, she hadn't even noticed.
Rolling onto her stomach, she snatched the phone up, "Hello?"
"Willow! Hey!" Xander's chirpy voice filtered from the telephone.
The sound of his voice was a comfort of sorts, and Willow found herself smiling. "Hey Xander."
"Listen Will, I was wondering, if you're not doing anything, maybe I could come on over..."
Almost giggling, Willow asked, "Homework problems?" She piped up playfully smug, "Don't you and Cordelia have plans? It *is* Saturday night."
Xander sighed, "She has some big girly thing with Harmony. And I know Oz is outta town for the weekend, so I thought we could, ya know, hook up." He added heartily, "I'll bring donuts!" When Willow did not answer him, he whispered sillily, "Earth to Willow..."
"Hmm?" She shook her head, turning her attentions back to Xander after they'd wavered at the mention of Oz. "Um, not tonight, Xander. I..." She paused, "I'm kinda tired. I didn't sleep very well last night. So I just wanna get in an early night." She could sense Xander's disappointment before he'd even opened his mouth. Feeling bad for turning him down, she added, "But you can come by tomorrow. Bright and early."
His smile could almost be made out through the receiver, "Deal. You sleep well, okay?"
She nodded to herself, "I will, bye Xander." When the phone went dead, she put it back down, glad she'd managed to keep Xander away for the night. Right now, she was wandering backward and forward through an ongoing spiral of emotions she never thought she'd ever feel. She just wanted to be alone. To sort herself out.
And to work out what it was she would say to Oz when he got back. In some ways, she dreaded telling him what had happened *more* than she had Buffy. Maybe Giles was right, maybe he'd understand. But no matter how she told him, it *was* going to hurt him...
A soft tap at the doors leading outside broke her from her thoughts. She sat up on the bed, glancing toward them. Unable to see anything, she crossed the room and looked out through the glass panels into the night. When Angelus stepped into sight, she let out a startled gasp and jumped back. Her foot caught on the mat at the doorway and she fell onto her carpeted floor.
Angelus moved forward, crouching down, his forehead against the glass, looking in at her. Too afraid to move, she could do nothing but look back at him. He smiled benevolently at her, "Hello, Willow."