Fanfiction

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel & Co. belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN and the WB Network. No copyright infringement intended. HOWEVER, we are not making any money off of their use.

Summary: An earthquake re-defines the lives of the Slayer and Slayerettes... Who will be okay?

I don't know quite where to start with this, so I'll just have at it, as the Americans say. It has been seventy-two hours since the earthquake rocked Sunnydale. Three days that has brought the world crashing down around the Slayer. I say crashing down because two of her friends, Angel and Willow, are dead. As far as we can tell, they were buried in part of the sewer when it collapsed on them. Although no bodies have been recovered, too much time has passed to give any hope of finding them alive. With all the damage that was done to the city, it was easy to explain how several people could have ended up in the sewers.

I wish I knew some comforting words for Buffy, but I'm afraid I don't have any. I'm just as shocked as she is about the current turn of events. I wish I could think of something encouraging to tell her, but I am at a loss. I know she looks to me as a father figure at times, and I can see the hurt in her face when I can't help her. All I can do is to keep her active, keep her patrolling, and hope that it will get her mind off what happened. I know that it won't be enough.

Jennie has kindly asked about her; and even talked to Buffy and offered her help. She is just as concerned as I am over Buffy's mental well being. The school has offered the services of several Counselors to help the children deal with the loss of their classmate. I will observe Buffy's mental state closely in the next few days before I decide if professional help is needed. She is an amazingly resilient young woman, but this may be too much for her.

Buffy is handling this better than Xander. My knowledge is limited, but I gather that he has not left his house since the news reached him. I wish I knew how to help. Angel and Willow. I miss them both.

Willow was such a joy to be around. I can't look at the computer in the Library anymore. I catch myself waiting for Willow to come breezing in to the Library, giggling at some obscure joke with Buffy, and ready to do whatever it takes to help her friend. She was so pure in her love and her understanding, all given unconditionally. It is very rare to find a person like that these days.

Angel is another story. He was a vampire with a soul. A tormented man who was trying so hard to redeem himself. I had my reservations about him at first, but he soon proved them wrong. He was an invaluable asset to the Slayer. Angel was also in love with Buffy, and she, him. I thought it very ironic, but now I am saddened by the fact that another source of joy has been taken out of her life.

I will end this entry for now. Buffy will be here soon for training and I want her to have my full attention.

"Willow, I..." Angel stopped not really knowing how to go on. How do you tell someone they are going to die, and that you are going to kill them? "I know.... I have to make a decision." Willow's voice was low and teary. Forty nine hours ago this wasn't even an issue. They had been coming home from The Bronze. Two nasties came from nowhere, when they had a taste of what Buffy had to give them, they went down into the sewer with Buffy not seconds be hind. Xander had gone with her, leaving Willow and Angel in the rear. Normally Angel would have been close to Buffy's side. But, Xander was in one of his "I am a macho guy" moods and abandoned Willow in the back.

Angel was torn between his duty and love of Buffy, and his friendship with Willow. So, he took her arm and dragged her through the sewer, stopping in the middle so Willow could catch her breath. That's when the world fell down.

It fell down in great sheets of dust and concrete. The floor heaved and jumped, tossing Angel and Willow about. The end of the world only lasted about three minutes.

For the first couple of hours, Angel had his hands full, digging Willow out of a pile of dust and dirt. Bruised and battered but otherwise okay, she came to, mumbling, earthquake and 7.0. However, that was forty nine hours ago. Long enough for someone to realize they were gone or where to look for them. Long enough for rescue, if there was any. They both tried to dig out, going a couple of feet. Hands, sore from digging didn't last long. Willow, tired from lack of water and sleep, had to stop.

Slowly, Angel came to the realization, that wasn't going to be any rescue, not soon anyway. He knew he could last indefinitely, have just fed the day of the earthquake. Willow, was another story. She bravely kept up her spirits on the first day, but gradually lapsed into long silences. She was smart, no, aware. Willow knew that the air was getting stale, and if she didn't get water, or rescue, she would eventually die.

There was that idea. Angel sensing her loss of hopefulness, made a casual remark. In his mind, it was preferable to a lingering death. Willow became quiet, after he suggested it. Hours passed before she spoke again. And when she did speak it was with anger, and bitterness. Angel respected her silence and did not speak until she was ready to talk. He would often touch her on the shoulder, just to confirm to himself that she was still alive.

Forty nine hours. Every second ticking down to an answer. Time was not so much of an enemy to Angel. He patiently waited, a second just a flash in the long life he had yet to live. Time was pushing on Willow, making every breath, every heart-beat unbearable. Combine that with the uncertainly of how family and friends were, the atmosphere was tense.

He finally said something, his voice sounding loud to him, in the close s pace. "Willow, I will do everything in my power to make you as comfortable as I can." His eyes glowed in the partial darkness. "I am here with you. You aren't alone.." He took her small hands into his. A hot tear splashed on to his hand. "Are you crying Willow?" he turned up her head with his hand on her chin. "You can sleep on your decision, okay?"

He gathered her up into his arms. She resisted a little, but finally snuggling up against him, she fell into a light sleep. Angel watched her for a while, silently comparing her and Buffy. Buffy was beautiful, untouchable. Her beauty and her innocence touched something in Angel. However, Buffy was always unsure of herself, as she was brave in times of crisis. Buffy felt apart of life. She as much as made herself lonely. Willow was down to earth, practical, smart. She was everyone's friend. As much as they were opposites, Willow and Buffy found friendship with each other, easily. Angel dozed off and on dreaming of both of them.

Willow wasn't all the way asleep. Her thoughts tumbled together one by one, making it even harder for her to decide. The inner turmoil was giving her a headache....

I'm going to die. I can't believe it. Angel is here, but there is nothing he can do. I'm glad he's holding me. I'm scared. I don't want to die. It started out as always, with Buffy going after a couple of vamps that j umped us outside of the Bronze. Buffy pursued them in to the sewers, with Xander close behind. He must of been trying to prove he was just as brave as Angel. Angel didn't look happy about being left behind, so he grabbed my hand and we r an after our friends. Down in to the sewers.

I had to rest for a minute. Angel was okay with that, thankfully. I didn't want to be alone down here. Then the earthquake hit. Dust was everywhere. I couldn't breathe; I couldn't see. Parts of the walls were falling around us. Then everything went dark. I awoke when Angel dug me out of the debris. He made sure I was okay. We were trapped in a six foot section of the sewer. I was worried about the others; but they weren't trapped with us. I hoped and prayed that Buffy and Xander were okay, and looking for us.

I was all right until the first day had passed. I was so sure someone would find us. It didn't happen. Angel was being so considerate, trying to keep my spirits up, but he knew. And I knew, deep down, that I was in trouble. I just wasn't ready to admit it yet.

We tried to dig our way out. We didn't get far, even with Angel's vampiric strength. He kept going long after my muscles would take no more. There was just too much dirt and debris in the way. The dust from the digging was making it hard for me to breathe, too.

I tried not to think about it, but I was scared. I mean, here I was, trapped in a six foot section of the sewer with a vampire. Angel had always been friendly to me, but what would happen when he got hungry? Would he be able to control his urges, or would I be the next meal?

A small part of me was going bonkers over the fact that I was trapped and alone with Angel. I had to admit, I had fantasies of being in such a position with Xander. I hoped that Buffy would forgive me for what I was thinking now. If only Xander had been with me instead of Angel.

Then he made the offer. He would make me a vampire, and I would be okay no matter how long it took someone to find us. I was horrified. I didn't want to be a vampire. I was afraid of vampires. I was yelling at him, telling him to keep away from me, and I didn't hear what else he was saying. I punched him as hard as I could, and he ignored it.He just held me while I struggled, and whispered soothing words in to my ear. It felt good when he was stroking my hair.

When I calmed down, he tried again. Angel told me that he could bring me across, and that I could keep my soul. He knew of a way, the way the gypsies did to him. What did he call it? Oh right, "The Ritual of Souls". What would happen to me if he messed it up? I only had to see the look in his eyes to know the answer.

The Ritual was quite simple, actually. Angel explained that he would need to draw a circle in the ground. I would have to remain inside the circle during the Ritual. Of course, he would have to bite me, and drain my blood. Then I would drink some of his blood to complete the Ritual. If it worked, and he assured me it would, I would be a vampire with my soul intact. I had to admit, I was curious - I asked him why he had never told anyone about this. He just replied that the time wasn't right.

I couldn't think clearly, nor did I want to talk to him. I was so angry - at him, at Buffy, at getting involved with this Slaying business. And I was angry at myself. I had gone in to this with my eyes open, and now it was time to pay for it.

I desperately wanted to go back to mousy old Willow - to the nice, safe little world I had created for myself. I didn't want to die! It was so damn unfair! It wasn't supposed to end this way! Why me?

Damn you Buffy! Why did you have to come here? And as for you, Xander why are you such a stupid ass? I LOVED you! I practically threw myself at you, and you couldn't see it. Why were you so fucking blind? Why am I angry at both of them? I kept raging at them for almost a day; not speaking, not caring, and trying not to think about what Angel had offered me. He didn't say much to me for almost twenty-four hours. He would squeeze my shoulder, or hold my hand, trying to show his concern for me. He never tried to persuade me in any way - the choice would be mine, and mine alone. It was comforting to know that he was there.

It was one hell of a decision - death, or death eternal. And I just wasn't ready to do it. I didn't want to be a - thing - that Buffy would have to kill.

I wasn't sure that she could bring herself to do it. I didn't want to put her in that position. And I didn't want to be something that would want to kill her. I cried. I prayed. I hoped that someone would find us. I hoped that my parents were okay. I tormented myself by going over Angel's offer in my mind repeatedly. He could make me a vampire, and I could keep my soul. I would be just like him. Would I end up just as lonely? What would happen if it didn't work? Would he kill me to protect himself?

I wondered about hundreds of things. How would blood taste? Where would I get it? Would Angel stay with me, only to abandon me to go with Buffy? Would he look at me any differently because I would live forever, and could always be with him? Could he-would he - fall in love with me?

Angel hadn't said much since he had told me about the ritual. He had held me when I cried, and even when I slept, but he was smart enough to realize that I just needed to think. His patience was oddly soothing.

Fifty five hours. Willow could hardly keep herself awake now. Starvation, suffocation, or..... What a decision! Was it a selfish desire? Should she just let go? Angel never said a word of encouragement. Being with Buffy, Willow knew the dangers, drawbacks. Her thoughts drifted to her parents and Xander. All those times she hung on his every word, did things that she was ashamed of, just because he thought it would be fun. Still stuck with him when he got a crush one this girl, and that girl, and then lately, Buffy. Yeah he was still fiends with her, but would dump her for this cute face, or that one. Xander was a good friend as long as he needed her.

Willow thought on, facing one reality after another. Rolling and turning her life over and over in her mind. Time was running and running out! "Willow please!" Angel burst out, running out of patience, finally. "You are running out of ...of....life!"

She was not Buffy, but she was still a friend. Her insights into his world sometimes were shattering. His anguish was starting to become plain. She HAD to make a decision. "Will...will it hurt?" her voice was low, he could hardly hear her. Angel held her tighter. "Oh my poor Willow..." her body was cooling. Warmth, was being replaced, slowly. "I will be gentle, I promise." Buffy never needed him like this. It was...interesting these feelings of protection, welling up inside him.

"No! I can't do that anymore." He passed her his amulet. "Not even Buffy knows have this." She took it and stared at it. "It's for the ritual. You think about it. I have to get ready."

Angel drew a circle on the floor with his hand. In the small pocket they had, the circle took up almost all of it. Inside the circle, he started etching small symbols in the dirt. Carefully, and with great detail, he silently drew what he hoped would be a lifeline for Willow.

In his time, it was called "The Ritual of Souls". The gypsies effectively ended his brutality and turned his afterlife into hell. The amulet he wore was a constant reminder of things he did when he hadn't a soul. This ritual he studied intensely. At first, trying to reverse the effects to soothe his tormented soul. Then as the years rolled by, it became habit to study the spells of the gypsies. Angel often wondered if he would have to use this to save Buffy. But now it would be used to save Willow.

Angel first drew a large circle in the dirt. The circle represented life, and it's tendency to go around and around. On the outside of the circle were a series of glyphs. They represented protection and binding. On the inside he drew four things. The gypsies called it the corners. One was a pentagram at the top where Willow's head would lie the was the air. On the right side, a circle with a cross inside, to signify the heaven above and the earth below. On the left side he drew fire. On the bottom, the symbol for water.

He looked over at her. Willow had curled herself into a tight ball. Her knees were close to her chest. "I'm ready. We must do this before the flashlight runs out." She was unresponsive. "Willow, please? We must do something. I won't let you suffer either way."

When Willow looked up, her face was wet. She held her hand out. Angle grasped it, and pulled further, gathering her lithe body to his. Together they stepped into the circle. Angel, holding her in his right arm, took a small penknife, and made a cut crosswise in his left wrist. Blood welled and lingered on his arm. Droplets formed and fell to the dirt. Mumbling, the spell, the same curse that held him, Angel took one last long look at Willow, her body already chilling in his arms. It was time...

Her skin was smooth on her neck. The amulet rested in the hollow below her chin. Angel took a deep breath, and ran his tongue over his fangs. He hesitated, "Please.." was all she whispered.

He bit into the softness of her neck, easily piercing the skin. She gasped, her arms curling around his body. It had been a long time since he had done this, he almost forgot the spell. In his mind he said the words over and over again. "Mother goddess Father above" the first part of the curse, willing Willow's soul to stay within her.

Willow's blood tingled in his mouth, sweet, salty, divine. She neither yelled nor screamed, but clung to him. His mouth felt warm against her chilly skin. The more he feasted on her, the more she clung to him. Her soft gasps and cries no longer held the note of fear, but the stirrings of desire.

The life in her was draining. Angel kept the sadness he was feeling at bay. The taste of her was electric. He pulled his mouth from her, reluctantly, her blood smearing his chin and face. She was limp in his arms. Gently he sat with her in the circle, and put his gashed arm to her lips, and let a small trickle drop into her open mouth.

As the drops pooled on her tongue and slid down her throat, Willow stirred. Her hands weakly grabbed his wrist, and she drew the arm to her mouth, and sucked the open wound. The feeling of her mouth and tongue gently coaxing his blood into her throat was like fire in his head. Waves of intense pleasure soared through him. In spite of himself Angel moaned out loud. His sex grew hard and twitched with intensity. No other being in this world could do this to him. Not in his centuries of life had this feeling of intense arousal ever claimed him like this.

Xander sat, his back to the hard boards of the Rosenburg's back porch. He spent quite a bit of time just looking at the sky, wondering......

Hey God- Do you recognize the voice? I wasn't sure if you would, since I don't really get around to praying very often. There was the time in the sixth grade...and then a couple of years ago when I had that date with Angela...but I know that the last time was when Buffy got killed by the Master. The entire time I was trying to bring her back, all I could think was 'please, God...save her. I need her.' And I thought that I did. So you brought her back for me, and it's not that I'm not grateful, but I kind of need your help again.

Sometimes I wonder if it is humanly possible to be quite this stupid. There we were, helping Buffy to fight off a couple of nasty vamps...and when we finally got away from them, went underground to escape, I latched onto Buffy. I mean, you already know this--but Buffy is not the type to need a knight in shining armor. She can take care of herself--she didn't need my help at all. But Willow did. I left her behind, though. The world was coming down all around us, but Buffy and I managed to get back out of the sewers, back onto solid ground.

After spending several minutes hugging Buffy, who actually seemed frightened for once, I noticed that Willow and Angel weren't with us. To say that my heart leapt into my throat is an understatement.

I wanted to go back down into the sewer, but Buffy wouldn't allow me to. She said that nothing could have survived the quake, and I noticed a catch in her voice. She was crying silently, probably thinking of Angel. She insisted that we find Giles. To neither of our surprises, he was still at the school library. He managed to calm Buffy somewhat...but I wouldn't let anyone come near me.

While Giles called Willow's parents to let them know what had happened, I decided to sit down and do some serious thinking. There could only be two possibilities, I guessed. Either Willow was dead, crushed by falling rocks and choked by debris, or she was still alive and trapped. The idea that she might be alone or that she might have had to die alone just ripped at my heart...like a cat clawing a tree, shredding the bark a little at a time. And then I had an amazing revelation- -one that I wish I never had.

They were together, trapped below the street. Cold, scared...and hungry. I really hate Angel. I've never made any secret of that. And even though he helped me find Buffy on the night that the Master attacked her, I still haven't forgiven him for, well...I still haven't forgiven him for being alive. I know that Buffy believes in his 'I'm so gentle because I have a soul' story... but I am still really skeptical. If he were pushed, if he hadn't eaten for awhile...like right now, for instance, what would he do? So even if Willow wasn't already dead, what if Angel decided to bite her? What if he took her blood because he didn't think there was any chance that they might be saved? One time, I accused Willow of having too many thoughts. This time, it's me that is thinking too much...and as much as I don't want to, I can't help it.

You better be listening to me! I know that you don't owe me anything...but Willow--she's another story entirely. I was too stupid to help her, but you can save her. I know that you can.

Xander wiped his face with the back of his hand, leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

Willow sucked strongly now. Her mouth tightly closed on his wrist. Since the curse had taken over, Angel never sought to bring anyone over, until now.

He was unprepared for the reaction that it created in him. His erection strained against his jeans, causing an relentless yearning, and craving. He kissed her hair gently. It was almost time for the last part of the spell.

He pried her off his wrist. Willow cried softly indicating her need. As he laid her out in the circle, her head and eyes followed the open gash. Angel pressed her head to the dirt, and told her not to move. He stepped out of the circle and said the words he had studied so often since the curse. Most of the words were hungarian. He spoke some of the spell haltingly. The demon howled in her head, and fought with the soul that was Willow. However, the soul was stronger, and not going anywhere. Willow's body glowed, as Angel raised his hands. "MEGGYUJT MOST!" his voice rang out through the small cavern. A fine mist swirled, from the tips of his hands, and settled on her body. As the mist softened and died, the glow around her body faded. Angel waited...

He must have dozed off. A cool calm settled over him as the glow of Willow's body faded. the anxiety that had crept up on him throughout those long hours had ebbed away, and he fell into sleep easily. He woke suddenly when he felt the pressure of Willow's mouth on his wrist again. He chuckled softly and let her do it. She looked up at him, her eyes displaying guilt and a slight hint of hunger.

Angel was pleased to see no sign of the demon on her face. He laid back down on the dirt, and sighed.

It must have been a couple of hours later. He woke slowly, it was dark now, the flashlights went out shortly after the ceremony. There was enough ambient light, around to see. Of course his vision was heightened. Willow had crawled into his arms and had settled there. Angel tightened his arms around her, remembering what had happened. She stirred a bit, and sighed. What would happen when they had a chance to talk? Teaching her the ways of being a creature of the night was a certainty. How would she react? When they were finally freed, would she beg for release? and would Buffy be the one to end her friend's eternity of suffering. Suddenly that protective urge took him over again, and Angel pulled Willow to him even more closely.

He hadn't know Willow very long. All his attentions and feelings were on Buffy. So he didn't really know this girl he brought over. All he knew, was that the experience had been erotic, as well as spiritual. Was Willow dreaming? What did she think about? It didn't take a genius to know that she was in love with Xander. It also didn't take a genius to know that Xander was throwing away love for the sake of a pretty face. He studied her sleeping face. Willow's skin had the texture of marble, fine grained and ivory colors. Her neck was smooth and creamy, and oh so soft.... Angel reached out to touch it, running his curled hand down the side of Willow's face. So different from the California grown beauty of Buffy. Willow had an ethereal aura about her. Now, even more so.

Why did he not see this before? Angel, before he knew it, was kissing Wil low lightly on the cheek. His lips lingering against the chilled skin, savori ng it's texture. She moved slightly, and Angel sought her lips. Lightly at first, his lips seeking a response. She opened her eyes, and surprised, kissed him back, her lips molding to his. Inwardly he sighed. Angel moved slightly and she slid down a bit, her arms circling his shoulders. He lifted his head, "Willow..I...oh...Willow!" His voice was harsh with unspent emotion.

"Angel, I know. I understand." She whispered. Angel just looked at her. She ran her hands over his changed face, lingering here and there. Her eyes, were shining, without fear. He kissed the tips of her fingers, nipping at them. Still looking into her face, he gently touched her breast, through her torn clothing. Willow closed her eyes, and for the first time, her face changed. It was beautiful, it took his breath away, this reaction to his caress. Angel saw it happen many times with former lovers, however, this time was different... Something formless welled up in him, he crushed his lips to Willow's Time stopped it's forward march, and they were lost. He slipped her torn top over her head, and hungered for her lips again. She was responding eagerly. However, Angel had a sudden feeling of guilt. Willow was young, freshly crossed over, not knowing yet what was to come. He stopped abruptly, and raised his head, "Willow, I.... I want to love you, but.. Buffy..."

Willow lifted herself up a bit, and kissed him tenderly. "I understand. I do!" she said. "We should stop before things go too far." Her eyes held the suspicion of unshed tears.

Angel sighed and touched her hair. "Things are going too fast. You don't realize what's happened to you." he said as he let her sit up. Willow covered herself with her torn top. She bowed her head, "No one's ever touched me before." she whispered. Angel could barely hear her. "Not Xander, not anyone."

Angel reached out and held her to him. Damn those protective feelings, damn Xander! "Xander's a jerk!" he said harshly. "If he knew what he had."

"Angel, it's okay. He'll never love me now." Willow suddenly cried. "Now that I'm a vampire right?" His arms tightened around her. Nameless feelings crossed and crossed again in his mind. "Oh Willow what have I done? The words burst out of Angel. Together they cried. Mourning their lost lives.

Sometime later, when they had cried out their fears to one another, they lay side by side, spooned against one another. Angel without knowing it, was kissing Willow's hair. He had a new appreciation of her, and she, him. She moved in him arms, kissing his hand. Despite his resolution not to love her, his body had other ideas. Willow must have known, Willow suddenly sat up and faced him. Angel held his breath, not wanting to earn her displeasure now that they were experiencing a new intimacy.

Willow's eyes held an incredible look of tenderness. Angel wondered at the sight of it. This time, she took her top off herself. She took his hand, and gently laid it on her breast. "Willow, we...we shou." he said, his voice shaking with emotion. "Shhh," She interrupted him. "I want to Angel. I may never get another chance."

She stood up in the small space and took off the rest of her dusty clothes. Angel was afraid to look at her changed face. Her feet were only inches from him. He leaned over, and kissed her feet softly. Willow sighed, and whispered, her voice strangely calm in the darkness. "I'm not Buffy, and you're not Xander." Angel moved up and kissed her shins. "I need you." He kissed her knees, his hands and arms curling around her body.. "If you can love me for me..." He responded by kissing her thighs, and gently moving them apart.

Making love to another vampire for him was like being with a wild animal. Without their souls, vampires are wild animals. He was afraid for another human whom he loved, there would never be a chance for intimacy. It was just too dangerous. what if he changed, what if he did damage to his lover, or worse, Buffy. As different as this was, he was afraid for Willow as well. And there were those feelings for Buffy. He pushed the thoughts away into the darkness, knowing there wasn't a way out for him.

Willow gasped as he buried his face in her. Her knees almost gave way, when he found that place of delight, and touched it gently with his tongue, circling slowly. He brought her to the brink, when he realized his own painful need. Angel stopped his onslaught. Willow, was still arching her back, was close to orgasm. He kissed his way up to her open mouth, lingering here and there, giving her nipples a nip, with the tips of his fangs. He eagerly devoured her, chuckling softly as their fangs clicked in the darkness.

Angel entered her, slowly, looking at her face for signs of pain, but was rewarded with a look of wonder, mixed with a puzzled look. Her sighs of pleasure filled the small space and pierced his ears, brain, and body. Feelings of joy, and belonging chased away the last vestiges of guilt he had been feeling for a long time. Willow's body flushed, and tensed, moaning into his open mouth. When she came, it was with lips locked on his, arms, and bodies close together. It was her release, and that incredible look of desire on her face that trigged him. His orgasm was no less spectacular than hers. Spent, they collapsed into each other's arms.

In the end, Willow gave herself to him in a way Buffy never could. She wholeheartedly loved him without anguishing over the details. Willow didn't hold back a part of herself, always wondering who to trust, who to love, what she was. The love they made, was spiritual, physical, intimate. And afterwards, in the chill darkness, Willow sighed quietly in his arms, drifting into sleep. In the 200 years that he had been alone, Angel convinced himself, that to purge his sins, he must be alone. What a waste he thought now, looking at Willow's sleeping form. Now and forever, he would always cherish the moments they spent together. Forever he would regret parts of his wasted life. He stared into the darkness thinking about freedom, and it's consequences.

Several times that long night they made love, grabbing the bit of life they felt they had left. Angel felt more and more at ease. Willow slipped into the life he created for her seamlessly. Or so he thought.

"Are you laughing at me?" She punched him on the shoulder, he grinned and grabbed her hand.

"No, I feel, well, I feel...... she snuggled closer to him. "I feel strange. I am dead, right? How come I don't feel sad?" She had her usual look of innocence and curiosity on her face that Angel had seen so many times.

"You won't? I wouldn't blame you if you did. I mean, Buffy, and all." Angel became silent at the thought of Buffy. What did Buffy mean to him? He held Willow closer as he faced the truth about his relationship with Buffy. She was his own personal Mount Everest. The thing he could not have. The person he needed to prove that he was still human, and not a freak! Angel realized that in some way, he was just like Xander, always going for something he could not have, a normal life, with a normal person. Here was another truth lying in his arms, Willow. He felt an intensity for her he never felt before. Here she was, all the time. He tangled his hand in hers, brought it up to his mouth and kissed it.

"No, I'm sorry, you're not dreaming. You have regrets?" he asked, trying to keep the fear out of his voice.

"Yeah, a whole bunch of them. But now.." Willow's voice trailed off as she considered something. Then she shook her head firmly.

"You can't cry over what you can't fix. Giles would say that." She kissed Angel's arm that was wrapped around her. "You can't miss what you didn't have."

Willow fell into a momentary silence. "I will miss my parents. I loved them." She bowed her head, and silently cried. Angel just held her, rocking back and forth, cooing. They fell asleep together.

A soft rumbling movement awakened Angel immediately. He quickly searched in the darkness for Willow. Normally she would be up against him, but in the hours that proceeded their talk, she had rolled away. There was sudden silence.

"I'm okay." She touched his shoulder lightly. "That was an aftershock." But, she had not even finished her sentence, when their world broke apart. Willow pulled Angel back as the roof of their small quarters broke apart! Choking dust filled the small cavity, and when the rumbling stopped, Angel found himself lying on the ground covered with debris. Willow frantically dug him out, and covered his face with kisses.

"Hey, hey! I'm okay, I'm okay!" He said, squinting a bit from the dust in his eyes. Was it the dirt in his eyes, or was it moonlight, shining in Willow's hai r?

He followed the line that her finger made, up to the ceiling. There was a three-foot opening. They could reach it, but there was no way to tell how much night they had left, and how much work it would take to dig. There was al so a danger of collapse. It was a way out, but it was filled with so many ifs. "We have to do something!" Willow said putting her hands on the sides of Angel's face. "I'm hungry! You're hungry!"

She went to the sides of the hole and started to pull the dirt down. "We have a chance to get out. Don't just sit there!"

Together, they managed to clear a lot of dirt away from the hole. Willow suggested they not dig up, but dig outwards, increasing the size of the hole. They both knew they were in for an agonizing death, either from starvation, or the sun coming up. So they ignored complaining muscles, and dug, using parts of the ceiling for trowels.

Angel shoved himself up first, he climbed up at least six feet, making the hole bigger with his feet. At the top, he grabbed handfuls of grass, and heaved himself up on the cool ground. The horizon was just showing lightness, and Angel calculated that they had about a half-hour of darkness left.

Willow took a little longer to reach the top. She wasn't used to climbing, and she slipped down a few times, scraping her arms on the dirt. Once on the grass, there was no time, to linger, Angel grabbed her hand and they ran. Faster than Willow thought she could ever run. Sunnydale flashed past them. It was terrifying, racing the sun.

We made it to my apartment just before sunrise. Lucky thing. What a waste it would have been to save Willow from death underground, only to have her burn up in the sun's rays. Tired, hungry, dirty...we must have been a sight.

I made Willow take the first shower. I could handle the dirt, and I knew she would be hurting. I still wasn't sure if she was fully aware of what we had done. It would take a while for the truth to sink in, that she would never have a normal life again. A shower wouldn't change the way things were, but it couldn't hurt.

I busied myself with finding a meal for the two of us. The hunger ate at me like acid and I knew if would be worse for Willow. She was newly crossed over, still not in control of the urges that would wrack her body.

Someone had been in the room, slept in my bed. I wondered who it could be. Then my eyes fell on the note, and the rose. Buffy had been here. I was sure of it. Before I even saw the handwriting. Before my hand held the tear-stained paper...I knew. A little fearful, I picked up the note. It was a poem. Short, but amazingly poignant in it's simplicity.

I looked up, feeling guilty that Willow might find me reading it. The his of the shower had just started, so discovery was not possible yet. I read on.

It was a ripple that spread from you to me. It was that small part of you that spread delicious sunlight to my twilight life. The ripple blended, became us.

It was simple, short, but it had the impact of a bomb. I clutched at my chest as if to keep my heart from beating, or breaking. That feeling for Buffy still lingered inside of me. It hurt to think that she was missing me so much, when I hardly missed her. Thoughts of Willow tumbled with thoughts of Buffy.

I felt my soul shudder, as I read of her love for me. I felt the tears spring up in my eyes, as her words brought her beautiful face into my mind. I thought of her and I could have wept for all the things that we could never be to each other. The thought of her still made my body ache.

Like a crashing wave, I felt the memories bury me. And I almost cried out for her, the girl that I could never have. The sound of the shower broke through my reverie. And the thought of Willow overwhelmed me. Soft, sweet Willow.

But I loved Buffy, didn't I? Hadn't I always? Wouldn't I for the rest of my life...or death? I wasn't sure anymore. The one thing that I could always count on, my love of Buffy seemed like a dream when I thought of Willow. Willow was real. She was attainable. Something that I could love, someone that I could hold. Buffy was a dream. With her I could never let myself go. I could never love completely. I would always be afraid.. of hurting her, or of forcing myself on her. I was a monster. How could she ever be happy with me?

But Willow. Willow could understand. She could love me with no reservations and I her. I dropped the note, guilt pounding against me. Buffy had been worrying about me, spending her nights here in my bed. Loving me. Wishing for me.

I had spared her barely a thought, concerned only with myself and Willow. Buffy still loved me, but I...I couldn't truly say that I was in love with her anymore. I would always cherish her, care for her. She would always be a part of me.

But Willow was the name that filled my heart. She was the one that I could not get out of my head. And she was the one I had made love to. I had never felt safe letting myself go that far with Buffy. But with Willow it was different. Still, how could I have done it? Would I have done it if I had known that we would survive? I thought of Willow's lips on mine and I knew that truth. I would do it again in an instant.

The water still ran in the bathroom. Lost in my own thoughts I hadn't even realized that she was still in there. "Damn that girl takes a long shower," I muttered, suddenly worried, wondering if she was alright.

Angel knocked on the door of the bathroom. "Willow, are you going to wash away?" There was no answer. He rattled the doorknob, expecting it to be locked, it wasn't. Steam wafted out into the chilled hallway. He looked into the shower, it was on, and Willow was crumpled at the bottom, sobbing her heart out. It hit her in the midst of doing something normal, how her life had changed. Suddenly it was hard to think of it, the loss and the weight of her decision hit her, and he emotions switched on. Angel quickly dived into the shower and gathered her up in his arms. His clothes, wet and muddy, were hampering him, and he just as quickly took them off. Angel let her cry.

Willow allowed him to wash her hair, and rinse her off. He lifted her to the rug in the bath, and had to hold her up to towel her off. Angel found it enjoyable to wash her, and it would have been even more so, had she not been so upset. There was time for that, time for everything. He then carried her half-sobbing half-hiccuping body into the bedroom and gently laid her on the bed. "Oh my poor Willow!" He whispered. "My poor, poor, Willow."

Angel smoothed her hair over her forehead. He had set a mug on the bedside table a little earlier, and he now brought it to her lips and told her to drink deeply. She drank the entire mug, not knowing, not caring what she drank. Exhausted, she sank down into the bed, her eyes closed, still shivering. Angel, held her hand tightly until he was sure she was asleep. The weariness that had been pressing on him since he had jumped in the shower with Willow, had finally taken it's toll. He almost fell asleep on the floor. He had just laid down on the bed, and put his arms around her, when he dropped into a deep sleep.

A gnawing hunger woke him slowly. Angel tried to ignore it, but eventually it brought him all the way awake. If he was hungry, he expected Willow to be famished! His eyes drifted to a clock on the wall, it was a bit after midnight.

He rolled over to Willow's side of the bed, to wake her. She was gone. His senses detected no other presence, or movement in his small apartment. Angel jumped out of bed and started looking for his clothes.

"God Damn it!" he swore as he pulled on his jeans, over his sore and bruised body.Vampires heal quickly, but not that quickly. "I don't even know where to look!"

If the truth be known, he was anxious, ready to panic. He feared that the spell did not work, and Willow's demon was out hunting her friends. He searched the apartment for a note, there wasn't any. Her clothes, still muddy and torn were lying on the bathroom floor. One of his shirts and a pair of his jeans were missing.

Willow was out hunting, hunting for memories. She was grateful to Angel for saving her life, and sorry that she was bothering him. He seemed to care for her a little bit. Willow wished she had never seen Buffy's poem, lain so casually next to the bed. It made her past, present, and future seem like it was happening at the same time. She knew she had to make her own way in the world, and was not prepared to do it.

The first stop, her home. It had people living in it, but it was still empty, in her mind. Her stuff, her clothes, and her life were in there, safe and sound. But, Willow was out in the cold, lonely and alone.

I want to cry, but I can't. I read the note. I didn't know Buffy wrote poetry. Why didn't he tell me about this? Fury rose within me as I crumpled the note and threw it on the floor. At least I was able to keep the tears from spilling over.

I thought he loved me. Was he lying to me in the sewer? Is he just using my body? We spent five days down there, and this is what happens? Damn him, anyhow!

I left the apartment and went walking. Angel would probably be worried when he realized that I had left. I didn't really care. All my life, I had always worried about other people's feelings. Now, I'm free of that. It feels so good, it's almost orgasmic. Is this what it's like to be a vampire? No worries, no cares, just reveling in the feelings? I think I could like it. I stop by my house. No lights are on, and the car is gone. Where are mom and dad?

Willow peeped into the window of her bedroom. It was just a chance to visit her past, one more time. She easily slid the window open. It was always left open for Xander to visit. There were many a night when they would talk until the wee hours. Willow installed a latch, the window would open a few inches, and then it was easy just to trip it and slide the window all the way open. Willow knew her parents were aware of the latch, and didn't care.

She stepped into her old bedroom. With her new senses, she knew no one was home. Still Willow kept quiet, and filled her back pack with things from her child hood, stopping often to wipe away the tears. Only a few things went in there. Her laptop, a picture of her, Xander, and Buffy in happier times, A raggedy bear, a locket from her parents, and her best pair of overalls. Willow hugged them to her body, remembering the trip with her mom to find them.

"I miss them. Will I ever be able to see them, maybe just a glimpse through the window at night?"

The bed was still neatly made, but just a little rumpled. "Has Xander been sleeping here, thinking of me?" she wondered, tears stinging her eyes. Willow wished she could come back, but she knew it wouldn't be a good idea. The few things she would manage to take tonight would be all. If she took anymore, someone might miss them, and start to question.

She took a long last look at the room. It was then she noticed the rose. It was innocent, and still fresh. Not like the rose Buffy left for Angel which w as dried, and withered. It looked fresh picked. It was on her pillow, nestin g against a pile of notes, and letters. The color was blush, and it still had its thorns. Willow quickly glanced at a couple of the notes. Xander had writt en them.

"He isn't much of a poet." Willow mused, "but the feelings he expresses - why couldn't he have told me this before?"

Picking the rose up, she noticed the mirror opposite her bed, and was sho cked to find she had no reflection. She still felt like her, nothing had changed, nothing! She put her hand to her mouth to stop herself from screaming.

"This will be just another facet of my new existence that I will have to get used to." Willow thought glumly. She read another of his notes, hearing his voice in her head as she read the words. "Oh, Xander, why couldn't you tell me this before?"

She hurriedly crammed the notes and the rose in her backpack, and stumbled out of the window.

Angel burst into the library at the school. In his agitation, he hardly realized that he had changed into his "game face". He went through the school like a mad man. But alas, no Willow. He was lucky he did not run into any of the others. Angel was GLAD he didn't run into the others, alive or dead. It meant that Willow hadn't hunted them yet.

Once out in the cool air, Willow tilted her face up to the moon. When her natural senses ceased, her supernatural ones took over. As much as it was horrible, as the same time, it was wonderful. it was like never being tired, or suffering from a cold. Willow felt she could run all night and even fly.

It was freedom she never had before in her life. If she weren't weighed down with sadness, she could have flown.

She stepped onto the street. A tangy, sweet smell filled the air. Willow knew instinctively that it was blood. There were vampires feeding nearby. The blood smelled good, the hunger pangs started again.

She shoved them to the recesses of her mind and went around to the front of the house. As she did, her new senses warned her that another vampire was coming closer, and fast. She ducked behind some bushes and peered out in to the darkness, thankful for her vampiric vision. Her mind was a chaotic jumble of thoughts and feelings, some of which she didn't understand.

"Would this be my first fight with a vampire? Would it be my first meal?" She wondered as she watched closely as a shape loomed out of the darkness. The vampires "signature" suddenly felt familiar.... Angel.

At the same time, Angel, running to Willow's house could smell the same thing, and was becoming more and more worried. When he rounded the corner, he expected Willow to be glorying in her first kill. The street was empty. He knew there were at least three vampires, and one...no, two humans around.

Angel kept to one side of the street as he hurried along. It was to his and Willow's benefit to be gone to their friends until he sorted things out.

He stopped as he reached Willow's house. He dared not go inside. One, he wasn't invited, two he didn't know if Willow's parents were in there. "God Dammit! Where the hell is she?" He said harshly.

"Willow?" He felt she was near. "Are you in the bushes?" Angel pulled away the bushes nearest him. There he found her, shivering with fear, crouching on the ground.

Angle blinked, and grabbed her arm, dragging her out of the bushes. "Yeah, and you're one of them.," he said harshly. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I was getting some of my things, and stuff." She squirmed in his grip. "What are you doing here?" They continued walking some way down the street.

"I was looking for you!" He stopped and gripped her by the shoulders. Willow gave a sharp squeal. "You could have been spotted, staked, caught by another vampire!" He shook her with every syllable. He was relived and angry at the same time. "Then what would have happened? God Dammit girl, have some sense!"

She squeaked with every jerk of her body, afraid and angry at the same time. Her voice sounded breathy "Hey, that hurts! You're hurting me!"

His face had changed, Willow cringed in his grip. "I saw that note from Buffy. I saw it!" She said, her face, in her fear, was starting to change, her anger, coming to the surface. "You still love her! I know it. You know it!

"What kind of shit are you talking about?" His eyes were glowing in the darkness.

Willow jerked away from Angel's grip. "I was trying to get out of your way!" "Getting out of my way? Why?" Angel said, backing Willow up against a tree. Her back met the tree with a thump. There was no way, but to face him.

"You just want me for sex. You love Buffy I'm getting out of your way." Her voice, once soft and breathy was harsher. Her anger at Angel's reaction to her tumbled out of her mind, and spilt over him. Willow reached out, and before she knew it, she had forcibly shoved him out of her way, and was stalking off.

"You think you know everything! You don't! Willow, come back here and talk to me!" Angel shouted at the sky in frustration, then turned and started after Willow.

"Do you hear that shouting?" Buffy turned to Xander who was shaking his head. Buffy on a whim, decided to take Xander on her hunt that night. He was surly, uncooperative, and still depressed over Willow. But, as Buffy had said many times over the past week, misery loves company, so tonight he decided to go.

Xander wanted to support her, after all she and Angel had shared a love he was often jealous about. Now Angel was gone, Willow was gone, it was just the two of them. No obstacles to stop him, except the feeling he'd left something undone with Willow, and a lingering sadness he could not explain.

"Maybe we should get the hint, and go?" Xander nervously looked around. "You said there were creepy-crawlies around. I don't want to get in the middle of a "fang fight" okay?" Buffy wasn't listening to him, she was intently listening to the fight. The hairs on the back of her neck were rising. "Okay, guess I am talking just to hear myself talk. Might as well be a tree, or a bush, or a statue."

He was startled when Buffy gripped his arm, a look of pure agonizing shock on her face. "That's Angel shouting, I know it!" Her eyes had gone steely, and she started to drag Xander towards the sound. He dug his heels in and stopped her. "Buffy, stop it! Stop it!" He made her face him. "Get over it - they're gone! GONE!" Buffy recoiled from his words, then replied with a hardness in her voice. Xander had to UNDERSTAND!

"No! It's him, It is! Please Xander. I KNOW it! I feel it!" she was dragging on his arm. Her strength pulled Xander a long way, before he finally gripped her arms, afraid of what she was doing. He grasped Buffy by the shoulders and turned her to face him.

"Why are you only thinking of Angel, Buffy? What about Willow? Huh? What about your best friend!" His face was turning red as he yelled at her. Fury was showing in his eyes.

She stopped, and looked at him, the tears in her eyes shining in the moonlight. Xander loved her, but not enough to follow her down to madness. "She was better to you than he was." Xander said, running his hand though his hair in frustration. "I don't care who's out there. It's not Angel and it's not Willow."

His voice broke on the last syllable. He turned and walked away from her. "I'll never see her again....."

Buffy held out her hands, trying to stop him, to comfort him. But there was no comfort for the both of them, just time. In the back of her mind, she knew that. But the tantalizing thought that that was Angel's voice made her turn away from her only friend. Still listening to the voice, she watched as the hunched shoulders of Xander disappeared into the darkness.

Angel caught up with Willow easily. "What do you mean I only use you for sex?" "Well? Don't you?" Willow began. Angel was looking out into the darkness. "Fine, you do what you want. I'm going wherever!" She declared, but Angel's grip was tighter then ever. Suddenly he threw her into the bushes, and followed her just as rapidly. Angel was off and running with Willow behind him crying. "What is it?"

He managed to get one word out before they plunged onto another street. "Buffy."

Buffy hurried away from her memories, and realities, and ran toward the voices. With her Slayer senses, she knew there were at least two vampires on that street. It was dark, shadowy, and the moon made weird pools of light on the ground. The streetlights had been off since the earthquake, but it did not matter, Buffy could use her senses to get around. Lighted up by moonlight, she could see two people. One was holding the other by the arm. With a start, she realized that one of them "looked" like Angel. Her Slayer sense told her that it was Angel. She started to run. The figure turned his head, and bolted, throwing the smaller person into the bushes!

Angel and Willow snaked their way though the city. Buffy was an expert Slayer and could track them wherever they went. They had to figure out a way to evade her. Somehow, this scared Willow more than Angel's anger, and she was almost out-running him. The vampire instinct of avoiding the Slayer seemed a part of her now.

Buffy had almost caught up with them, but she was getting tired, and knew she would have to stop. 'It HAD to be Angel, it just HAD to be!' she thought. She ran through twisting alleyways, and over fences. "Some kind of steeple chase!" she said to herself, her side aching.

Willow and Angel were almost to the river. It was a dead end, the river, no where else to run, but back where they came. The sewer? No not the sewer that's what got them here in the first place. "The Dam!" They said in unison.

Willow dragged Angel over to the entrance to the power station, and amazed him by ripping off the door. "Adrenaline," she said quickly, with a quirky little smile on her face. They both went inside.

Buffy followed them as far as the river. She was only minutes behind. She viewed the remains of the door, and also went inside. This was not good, it was dark, and there wasn't any cover for her. Her sides ached, and she was out of breath. This was a bad place to be caught by two vampires who felt cornered. She backed out, and decided to go to Angel's place. If he were alive, that would be the first place he would go.

Inside the dam, Angel held Willow close. They both felt the presence of the Slayer. Willow shivered with terror. Once Buffy was her best friend, now she was her greatest danger. She lifted her scared face to Angel. He groaned, and kissed her soundly. It didn't help with the feeling of pure fear in her mind. They separated slightly and looked at each other.

"What do we do now?" Willow whispered, hoping that Buffy didn't hear. Angel placed a finger to her mouth to silence her. With feline grace, he slowly crept along the catwalk until he could see the entrance. No one was there. His senses told them that they were alone in the dam. Sighing with relief, he crawled back to Willow and took her in his arms.

She was shivering with fright. The vampire instinct to flee the Slayer had taken over, and Willow was starting to realize just how much she had changed. It was a rough introduction to life as a vampire. Buffy trudged through the darkened streets of Sunnydale, totally dispirited. She trusted her Slayer sense, but she was starting to wonder if maybe it was wrong. She had been sure it was Angel - or was it that she wanted to see him again so much that her mind was play ing tricks on her?

"Giles will have a cow if I bring this up to him." I kicked a stone against a tree and continued on my patrol. "I'll check out his apartment again. Maybe I missed something last time."

I'm back in his apartment again. I come here to think, to remember, and to wish for what cannot be. Only a week has passed since Angel and Willow died. I miss them so much, it hurts. Angel could make me melt with just a look, or a touch. Will I ever feel this way about anyone again?

I keep going back over the events of that night, wondering if I could have done anything differently. Would they still be alive if I had? Or would I be the one buried in the sewer somewhere?

Mom's trying to help, but how can I explain what I'm feeling to her? I can't tell her everything that went on that night, and I know she thinks I'm hiding something. At least she's giving me space.

As I walk through the apartment, I notice something on the floor near his bed. It's the letter I left for him. I wrote it after I had found out that the search was called off for survivors. I tried to write something meaningful, but I was crying so much that only a few words came out.

A sliver of hope ran through my body. He had been here, I could feel it! I pushed open the bathroom door and stood there, too shocked to move.

There were muddy clothes on the floor. I knelt and held them, I noticed assorted wet spots, like tears on them, and they were muddy, like someone had been digging. The jeans were his, I was sure of it! But there were TWO sets of clothes, and I was puzzled - if Will was with him, why hadn't she gone home?

Angel sprang up as if someone shot him out of a cannon, grabbed her and pulled her down to the floor. "Hey!" She gasped. "It's okay! I just banged my head."

Angel rolled over, relief clearly written on his face. For the first time in nearly a week Willow laughed. Angel looked at her, a wry smile tugging at the edges of his mouth. "So you think it's funny do you?"

He grabbed her into an embrace, and kissed her here and there. Willow shrieked with laughter. He suddenly stopped, lifting himself up on his hands, his legs straddling hers. His face changed, and he kissed her open mouth. "Angel please!" Willow said desperately. "No, NO!!"

Angel looked at her, "Willow, I want you... very much." Willow squirmed out of his grasp, and backed away from him. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. However, she was aware that he was still attached to Buffy. There was desire in his tone, but not love.

"That's a bunch of bullshit and you know it!" Angel said, exasperated with her attitude. "Willow, we made love! What do you think that meant to me?"

She cradled her head in her hands. "I don't know what to think, I'm so hngry!" in her agitation, her "game face" popped out. Angel knew she was not far from losing her control. He had to do something, they both needed food. After the night they had, anyone would be hungry.

Willow got up to help. "NO! Stay here." He said, crawling away. "I'll be back soon."

Willow told herself she had to keep control. As frightening as it was, she had to keep her "demon" inside. She battled with it. It was like having your "inner" voice, the voice that tells you right from wrong, suddenly not pay any attention whatsoever! She felt possessed by a will almost as strong. It drained the reserved of strength she had left, and she fell asleep curled up in a tight ball.

Angel had made his way to his apartment shortly before the sun came up. He calculated he had just enough time to grab some food and head back to Willow. The door was open. He tensed. Buffy had been there. He could smell her, feel the heat she left on the surface of his bed. He remembered that he had left the muddy clothes lying on the bathroom floor. Angel cursed at himself - such carelessness would get both of them killed!

Quickly stripping the bed, and shoving the clothes into a garbage bag, he took one last long look. "Oh god! I almost forgot!" he said smacking his forehead. He bagged up the last of the food in his fridge, and left, leaving the door wide open.

It took a lot of pleading, and a little pouting, but Giles finally agreed to come to Angel's apartment. I had brought him here before, when we checked to see if he had made it out, but we found nothing. I know he was skeptical of my claims about finding the clothes, but I was sure he would believe me once he saw them for himself.

"Buffy! This has gone too far!" Giles tried to ignore the desperate girl tugging on his arm.

"Please, Giles! PLEASE!" Buffy managed to drag him halfway across town to Angel's place.

Giles stopped and Buffy could tug him no further. " I appreciate that you still feel well enough to visit Angel's home, However, we've been here several times and have seen nothing!" He awkwardly put his arm around her shoulders in a "fatherly" fashion. "Come away from here. There is nothing for you to discover."

She shrugged his arm off, and opened the door to Angel's home. "Please Giles, just this one more time. I gotta know I'm not crazy."

Giles easily capitulated. She was his Slayer, and he had a soft heart where she was concerned. It was as difficult for him as it was for her to get over the deaths of Willow and Angel. He found a knowledgeable companion in Willow.

She instinctively picked up where he left off. He left a detail untold, she t old it. Giles did research, Willow did more, and enjoyed it. Yes, it was a lonely library he returned to each day.

Buffy quickly led him to the bathroom. Last night she had broken in and found the muddy clothes Willow and Angel had left there. She also found the bed unmade, and her note crumpled and tossed on the floor. Buffy had wept at the sight of it, because she was sure that Angel had left the mess. However, if this were so, why would he run away from her? He loved her! Last night the place had been lived in, today it was empty.

It was like a shot to the gut when I took him in and we found nothing. I couldn't think, and Giles was just a little angry. As we left the apartment, he started lecturing me in is usual "Watcher" mode. Giles sighed, turning around and heading out to the living room. "Buffy, please. I am not in the mood for jokes." He went out the door, pausing only to shut the light off, and extend his hand to Buffy. "Please.... Let's leave."

"But Giles it was here, really!" Buffy gestured around the bathroom of Angel's apartment.

"Buffy, you must stop this! You can't bring them back! Angel and Willow are dead, and there's nothing more we can do here. Do you understand?" He had his hand on my shoulder and was trying to say something else when it happened. I just snapped.

"FUCK YOU GILES!" I yelled, throwing him against the wall. "I made it back, so who the hell are you to tell me otherwise?" I stepped back, horrified at what I had done. What if I had hurt him?

He looked up at me with such sorrow in his eyes that I just knelt beside him and touched his face. Then he opened his arms and held me while I let loose. It felt so good in his arms as I sobbed until the back of my head hurt.

He whispered soothing words and rocked me gently until I stopped. I wiped my eyes dry and looked up at him. He was my Watcher, my friend, and he was trying to help me through this. It was up to me to let him.

"They're not coming back, are they, Giles?" I asked, trying to keep my body from trembling. He shushed me and held me close.

In another part of town, Xander after he had left Buffy, went to Willow's house again. Every night since Willow had gone, he went there. To lurk, leave notes, or just to think. Willow's parents has left Sunnydale, left the county, for awhile. So Xander could be in the house to mourn alone. Just as Buffy had gone to visit Angel's house, he just had to feel like Willow was around again. Going around the side of the house, he was shocked to find the window of her room open. Xander looked around the small room, and noticed that his note s and rose were gone. Other things were missing, Willow's laptop, her best pair of overalls, a picture. Some of the things that meant the most to her. Puzzled, he sat at Willow's desk, and thought of the shouting Buffy heard. Could that have been Angel's voice shouting in the night? If Angel were really alive, could there be a hope for Willow? Exhausted, he fell asleep on Willow's bed, dreaming of Buffy. That's where Buffy found him, lying on Willow's bed.

"Huh? Whoa?" Xander was slow to rise. He sat up, then plopped back down on the bed when he saw Buffy's disapproving face "How'd you get in here?"

She stood up and pointed to the window, open, and letting in the cool morning air. "Same way you did."

Xander tried to shake the sleep out of his mind. "How'd you know I was here?" She put her hand on his face, and ran it down to the stubble on his chin.

"Your mom told me you come here a lot." Xander delighted in her casual touch. " Like I go to Angel's" She jumped off the bed. "Listen about last night..." Xander beat her to the punch, "I'm sorry. I know you l-l-l...." Buffy playfully punched him in the way Willow would have if she were there. "Love him..." "S'okay! I went over there last night." Buffy began. "I chased the nasties all the way to the river. I think they hid in the dam."

Buffy sat at Willow's desk, a curious expression chased across her face, when she saw what Willow had written on her calendar, 'Lunch with Buffy, Whoo Hoo!'

When she looked back up at Xander, she had tears in her eyes. "I went over to Angel's to see if it were true."

"Oh god!" Xander plopped back down on his baack. "I know, let me fill in he rest. You want me to go over there now, and see your little find, right?" "Nah! I took Giles over there first thing." she said, standing up, and heading for the window. He bolted right up again. "WE didn't find anything."

Buffy winked at him, playfully. "Yeah lots." She shimmied out the window. "Are you gonna come with me or not?"

"To the dam. I HAVE an itch to investigate." She disappeared from view, laughing at him. It had been at least a week since both of them had a good laugh.

"Oh crap! Here we go again!" Xander said as he flopped out the window, running after her.

Willow drank deeply, savagely. Angel let her feed first. It was like watching someone starving for weeks, have her first meal. It both horrified, and fascinated him. The "demon" was alive and well inside her. Willow did not feast, the demon did, and when it was done, it let Willow alone. For a moment, it hurt him to know that she would be battling with it for an eternity.

However, in the same moment, he knew that the love he felt for her would also be his for eternity. Angel wondered if she felt the same. She was responsive enough during lovemaking. And afterwards, sharing the parts of themselves no one knew about them. Willow did not shy away from his past. She accepted the demon in him, now she had to accept it in herself.

When she was done, she backed away from him. Her human side was recoiling from the fact that she drank blood and liked it! But another, darker part of her was enjoying it.

"You know, I always kinda wondered -" Willow stopped, letting her quiet voice trail off. She looked at him, then glanced away. "What is it like to be a vampire? And now I guess I'll find out," she added, drawing her knees up to her chin.

"You'll get used to some of the things," Angel told her, in a quiet voice. "But not everything." He idly played with a loose piece of insulation. Willow continued with her musings.

"Like having a friend who is trying to kill you?" Angel looked at her sharply. That was not the type of question that Willow, the one he knew, would ask.

It was still early when Xander and Buffy made their way to the dam that supplied most of Sunnydale with power. It wasn't far from the place where she thought she saw Angel. Buffy told Xander how she went to Angel's place, last night. He tried to listen sympathetically, but it was hard, considering he hadn't been up for very long, and he was hungry. He practically whined all the way to the river. "See right there!" Buffy said pointing to a door that was hanging off its hinges. "One of them did that. Only a vampire has the strength to pull a big steel door off it's hinges."

Xander was not impressed. "Yeah, or a really big guy with arms out to here..." Buffy shot him a dark look. "Well then Miss Slayer, tell me this, why would Angel run away from you of all people?"

Buffy fell silent. She had been tormenting herself with the same thought. The only reason that came to mind was that Angel had reverted to his older self. The idea terrified her.

Xander went over to the door. It was just leaning on the concrete bunker, with some tools lying by it. Inside there were steps going down about ten feet into darkness. He could just imagine the long dark, closed in, corridor that stretched all the way into the complex.

"Well what now fearless leader." he asked, turning to her, his eyes. Squinting in the sunlight. "Hey, was your vampire guy alone?"

"No he was with someone. A shorter person. I couldn't see very well." Buffy said, entering the dark doorway. She took Xander's hand, and pulled him inside. The flashlight she carried revealed nothing. The beam vanished in to the darkness.

"Oh great! Now I can't see! Could it be possible that it wasn't Angel that you saw?" He said, annoyed with her refusal to face the truth.

The stairs at the bottom led to a long damp corridor. The ceiling was low, overhung with a giant air duct. Buffy could barely make out where it stopped and opened out into the power station. She knew that while they were in the corridor, there was no way out, should they be attacked from the rear and the front.

Xander was totally confused at her doggedness. He would mourn Willow for a long time, but sooner or later it came the time where you had to give it up, and let the grief happen to you. He lost one best friend to a vampire, which was true. Now another to an earthquake. It was time to give up the ghost! Buffy had stopped up ahead, looking as if she ate something bad. "What is it?" He whispered.

"I feel them...Here...Close, really close" Buffy put her hands on the damp walls feeling all over them. She extended her hands up to the ductwork. "Xander can you bang on this?" She pointed upwards.

***

Willow slept alone. She was very, very tired. Between fighting off her feelings for Angel, her fear of Buffy, the hunger of the demon, and the longing for Xander, Willow felt she could not endure much longer. Why did she accept Angel's curse? She had to accept it, she was afraid to die, now she was afraid to live. It meant living under Buffy's shadow again, first with Xander, now with Angel. If only she hadn't slept with Angel. Here was another nasty truth. She wanted to, really wanted to. It felt wonderful, dangerous, loving. Why couldn't she believe how much Angel loved her? He fell in love with her not because she was just like him, no in SPITE of it.

Angel watched her sleep for a long time, thinking of how or where they could go to get away from all of this. If only he could tell Buffy what happened, get to her, explain. How do you explain to your girlfriend that you turned her best friend into a vampire, made love to her, AND fell in love with her. Perhaps Giles would understand. He fell asleep thinking, curled around Willow, protecting her even in his sleep.

***

"I'm not so sure we should be banging stuff around in here. What would the neighbors think?" Xander said, giving the duct an experimental thump. "This stuff looks like it could come down any second. And, I don't want to be around here when it starts raining vampires."

"Well then, step back." Buffy said giving Xander a "polite" shove. Smiling sweetly she punched a hole in the duct. Her fist came within inches of Willow's nose. Willow's eyes Popped open the same time as her mouth. Angel was already awake and aware that someone was around, and did not expect it to be Buffy. It was a rude awakening.

"Good shot! What do you do for an encore?" Xander said putting his hand inside the hole. Willow saw the hand come up and couldn't help herself, she bit it! Xander snatched his hand out yelling! Angel grabbed Willow and they crawled frantically down the duct. Buffy didn't stop to look in the hole, she pursued the noise down the corridor. Xander, still clutching his hand, followed her.

Her senses operating at maximum, Buffy chased after the noises not realizing where they were taking her. She stepped off the end of the corridor into open space just as Angel and Willow emerged above her. Willow, in the lead, jumped up into the grid work, and began making her way up. Buffy screamed as she hung in open space. Angel hanging above her, yelled out. "Buffy!"

For the briefest of moments the world stopped, and flowed again in slow motion. Buffy, tumbled over the railing, and Angel stretched out his hand, only to retract it again, and start climbing. The sound echoed around the hollow cavity the corridor emptied out into. Buffy only fell a couple of feet onto another landing. Xander, not very far behind, navigated the turn in the stairs, and met her. Buffy, looking up into the darkness grabbed Xander by the arm. "Did you hear that? Did you?"

"Hear what?" He looked up to see what she was looking at." I couldn't hear anything above the running." Xander said, shaking his hand. "What ever it is, it has teeth!"

Buffy started climbing the railing, up into the gridwork. "It was Angel, I heard him! It was him. It WAS him!"

Willow heard Angel call Buffy's name, saw him stop, turn and stretch out his arm. She didn't need any other explanation than his simple act. He loved Buffy, and not her. With all his caring, cooing, and kissing her, it just was a lie. Willow had the truth. Angel never said he loved her. Not once. She was living a "Fool's Paradise", as the head Fool. She had given him all of her, only to have him treat it like trash day. If she could only let go here, and drop to the ground to end it. But, she didn't want to give Buffy nor Angel the satisfaction. No, she would live, but how?

Willow was very high now. Angel was only a little ways below her. She kept climbing up to the top, ignoring Angel's cries to stop. She kept climbing, away from Angel, from Buffy, Xander, away from the pain. Up near the top of the dam, she saw another duct, and crawled in that one, and started to slide slowly down. She knew Angel, and quite possibly Buffy, was right behind them.

"Oh God! I just can't keep up!" Buffy said, out of breath. She stopped and saw Xander a few feet away, struggling to keep up. He went from one tottering metal pole to another. Looking up, she could see no other person, or whatever above her. Her resolve to find out if this was Angel crumbled. "Xander, hold on! I'm coming down." She yelled, making her way over to him.

"Great, cause I'm not cut out to be a Flying Welenda!" he said as one foot slipped off. He grabbed at the grid with his hand.

Willow made it to the bottom of the duct. The darkness was closing in on her, but she could still see enough to make her way down the lower shaft of the duct. Angel made a "chuff" noise when he got to the bottom. She did not wait for him, "Willow stop, please?" Angel barked again "Stop!" She never stopped, she just plowed on.

"Willow please!" Angel sat on the edge of the empty stairwell they had gone into. The ductwork had run out, and there was no where else to go. Willow was pacing up and down in front of the locked door, trying to figure out what to do. She felt she couldn't go on with Angel, the way things were. Angel had his head in his hands, exhausted from the day and night, without sleep. "You knew what you were doing all the time didn't you?"

"Huh?"

"You made me into vampire, cause you can't make Buffy into one right? There was a biting note in Willow's voice. "You did this on purpose! I thought you were so nice! What was I thinking?" She paced a bit more, mumbling to herself, contemplating out loud. "You love her for love, and want me for sex right?" she pushed at Angel with her hand. "You must have been laughing at me the whole time, thinking that you made a pushover whore for a girlfriend. All the time planning to return to Buffy the moment you saw her!"

Angel cringed at the use of the word "whore" knowing that Willow was in danger of losing her control. "Willow calm down. That's not it at all, and you know it!"

Willow had her "game face" on now, and was not backing down. Her anger and her misery all at once came to the surface. She was crying and swearing at the same time. She shoved Angel up against the wall, surprising him with her strength. "I was JUST a girl until you did this to me!" Willow pushed him again, harder. "I am in LOVE with you!"

Angel worried now about her state of mind, tried to grab her shoulders. "Willow get a hold of yourself!"

She quickly flung off his hands, the tears streaming down her face. "You don't love me! Xander didn't love me. What's left for me now?"

"Willow what are you talking about?" Angel said harshly. "Where are you going?"

She was already up the stairs. "I'm going to find a bit of heaven." She said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Someplace you won't ever go!"

That hurt him more than a minute in the sun. He knew at that moment he had lost her forever. She was as dead to him as she was to everyone around her. As much as he knew she hated him now, Angel kept trying, climbing the stairs two at a time. she was prepared for him, and spun, around full in the "game" now. With a roar, she punched him hard, and he fell tumbling to the ground slamming into the door at the bottom. The last thought he had before he lost consciousness was Giles......

***

It's all a blur to me, the wall caving in beside Willow's head, us running throughout the corridors and ducts. I was so tired, so hungry. I could barely stay on my feet. It seemed as if we had been running forever. I barely knew what from. All I knew was that I had to keep Willow safe. So we ran.

And then I looked back and I saw Buffy fall. It was as if a part of me were wrenched away in that instant that I thought she was dead. Fear, I could smell it on myself. And I stretched out my hand, in a vain attempt to catch her as I watched her body fall in slow motion. Her name echoed on my lips. And then she was getting up, not dead, not even hurt, and I was climbing after Willow.

She wouldn't stop climbing and as long as she climbed I had to follow. I think I called her, told her to stop. I don't know. We ran. She kept just far enough ahead that I could not reach her. It was like those dreams where you keep running and running and you never get anywhere. I felt I would never reach her, and we would run until we both collapsed from exhaustion.

But then the ducts ended. And there was nowhere else for her to go. I sank to the floor, sure that my legs would give out if I tried to stand. But even sitting I could block her way out of the duct. Although she was out of places to run, she would not stop moving, pacing back and forth. I begged her to stop, still not understanding why she was so upset.

And then she began to scream. Yelling at me, accusing me with her voice and her eyes. My mind reeled as I began to understand what she was thinking. She didn't know that I loved her. She still thought that I was in love with Buffy. She thought I had used her and she hated me for it. Her misery hit me like a stake to the heart. But her misery was based on misunderstanding. Whore? The word glowed like neon among the rest of her tirade. I winced, silently screaming *No.* She would never be my whore. That she could think that badly of me hurt more than anything else.

I tried to tell her, tried to explain that I loved her. But she did not want to listen. She could not believe. She was hysterical, all her emotions pouring out at once in a tear-stained display. I had to stop this...somehow. And the she was attacking me, shoving me against the wall and saying that she loved me. The words I longed to hear became weapons in her mouth, used to berate me and bludgeon me with blame. My hands were on her shoulders as I tried to calm her, tried to make her quiet long enough to see the love in my eyes.

But she pushed me away, as if my hands were something dirty. And then she was gone and once again I tied to follow. But she would have none of it. If only I hadn't been so tired, maybe I could have found a way to make her listen. Maybe I could have forced her to stay. Maybe I could have avoided the punch that sent me reeling. And I fell, somehow strangely calm as the ground rushed toward me. My mind still whirling frantically, trying to figure out a way to get her back. But it was removed from me. It was a dream. The wind rushed up around my body and I landed on the floor. Pain exploding the length of my body.

And my sight slowly faded to gray. As I tried to hold on to reason, I thought of the one person that might be able to help me, Giles. And I thought of the one person that I could not live without, though she hated me more than anything else on earth... Willow.

***

Once on solid ground Buffy gave one last look at the gridwork above them, and sighed. She was so sure that it was Angel that yelled. There were so many unanswered questions. Why did it look and sound like Angel? Who was he with? Why did they run away from her? And if it was Angel, what happened to Willow?

Xander did not even look or speak to her until they were out in the sunshine. "Hey Xander!" she began. "We could go around to the other bunker. Maybe they went over to there?" Her eyes were full of hope, but there was also something else shining in them. Xander didn't like what he saw.

"Well?" she continued, staring at him.

Xander just looked at her. He looked tired, worn, like he had lived a million years, and only slept one night. "I've had enough." his voice was ragged. "If you want to chase the ghost of your past, go for it." He walked farther into the sunshine. "If you ask me, I think you're a Bitch!" he walked away, never looking back to see her reaction.

***

"You left her at the Dam?" Giles asked angrily, smacking the library table. Several books stacked on it fell on the floor.

Xander would ordinarily wince. This time he turned to Giles, and plopped down on the nearest chair. "Hey she's finally flipped her lid. All she goes on about is Angel, and not a word about Willow."

Giles pushed his glasses up. "She's feeling a bit lonely lately that's true."

Xander suddenly jumped up, " Lonely? If that's lonely I'm a .....a..... Well I'm something!" He said, waving his arms around He sat back down, exasperated. "You've seen her. She's not giving up. She's not a Slayer anymore, she's a mule!"

Giles patted him on the shoulder and regarded his cup of tea. "I must go and find her. Before she hurts herself."

Xander reluctantly got up, and headed towards the back entrance to the library. "I'll go find her. I called her something, and I want to add to it." He was gone before Giles could ask what it was. "Why do I bother?" He asked himself.

Just then a lonely hunched figure walked through the doors, and Giles dropped his tea cup, tea and all!

"Giles!" The figure, still in the shadows, managed to croak out. Giles knew who it was, and stepped back. The figure moved into the light, and Giles, stepped back again this time over a chair. "I won't hurt you. I need help..." The figure slumped to the floor.

"Angel!" Giles gasped quickly recovering, and kneeled beside the depleted man. "Willow?" he whispered, hoping against hope, for Buffy and Xander.

Angel looked at him, and then, bowed his head guiltily. "I don't know where she is." His voice breaking he continued. "It's a long story. Please Giles, Buffy can't find me here!"

"Willow's alive?" Giles asked, in a harsh voice, helping Angel up, into his office.

Angel stumbled a few times, but made it to Giles's small office and sank, gratefully down in the chair. "I think she's alive. Oh god what have I done!" The anguish rang out through the small room, and raised the hairs on Giles's neck.

He grabbed Angel by the arm and confronted the now sobbing man.. "What have you done?" he asked, the fear plainly evident in his voice.

Buffy obsessively searched Angel's apartment. But she only ended up upsetting herself more. She lay on the bed for nearly an hour crying her heart out. For the first time, since the accident that took her friends, wondered about her best friend, Willow. Buffy wiped her tear stained face, and wanted to go over to Willow's and have a good cry with her buddy. That sudden thought chilled Buffy to the soul. Willow wasn't there, would never, ever, BE there. In her mania to find Angel, she never gave a thought to Willow. Buffy went down on her knees in the middle of the apartment, flinging her hands to the ceiling, screaming her despair.

Willow hardly knew where she was going. She made herself stop several times, just to take some deep breaths, and to calm down. From where she was standing, her whole world felt like nothing. She knew everything wouldn't be "all right" not now, not ever.

At first she thought it was Buffy's fault. She was sure it was. Buffy seemed to have everything, Angel, Xander, Giles, looks, talent. It was hard not to be envious. Willow often sat in her room, and thought about how things could've been different. It was almost laughable now, how she chased after the men in Buffy's life. But, and this was hard to face, it was not Buffy's fault, it was her own.

Buffy told Xander that she loved only Angel. Giles always relied on Willow for the extra information. Xander relied on her for friendship and companionship. No, Buffy would always be her friend, and nothing would change that. The anger towards Buffy, that haunted her from the beginning of this whole episode, left Willow as soon as she saw her home.

Giles stood at the window of his small office, staring out into the night. Angel had fallen into a fitful sleep, after Giles had taken from him every scrap of information he had concerning Willow. Giles had very little knowledge about the Ritual of Souls. The Watcher books never mentioned it. "Probably because it is very hard to kill a vampire with a soul." He mused.

But now, to save Willow, for Giles was certain she intended to "fix" things by taking herself out of the picture. As a Watcher he should only be concerned for Buffy right? Everyone else should be considered expendable. The only thing to concentrate on was the extinction of the vampire. Giles turned and looked at Angel, who had helped them time after time risking his own life, and had made Willow into a vampire to save her life. And what about Willow, almost a mirror image of Giles in intellect, and knowledge. "Damn the Watchers! Full speed ahead." He mumbled to himself, slamming his fist on the windowsill.

***

Xander burst into the library, just as Giles and Angel were leaving. Upon seeing Angel, Xander had such a look of wrath on his face, that Giles stepped in front of Angel to protect him. "Move away Giles." Xander said, the anger contorting his face.

"Xander, you don't understand... Really, you should sit and calm down." Giles said, putting his hand out.

"No Giles, YOU don't understand. I am going to kill this mother fucker for what he's done to Buffy!"

Angel struggled to move out of Gile's shadow. "Bring it on human! I would love to take you out for what you've done to Willow." he said savagely

The three of them moved in a slow circle, two trying to kill one another, and one trying to save them both. "Willow's dead! You were with her, or I thought you were. You probably killed her too!"

Gile's tried to keep his voice as calm as he could. "She's alive, and in trouble. We need to help her."

Xander stopped, "Are you lying to me Giles? Just to save the piece of shit! If you are, I can kill you too!"

It broke Angel's control to hear him threaten Giles as well. He pushed Giles out of the way, flinging him against the cage. A howl split the silent air of the library and Angel launch himself at Xander.

***

Willow, clutching a note to her parents that she had hastily scrawled and planned to leave at the house, slipped though the window to her room. She was calm, almost serene. She had made her decision, and was happy with it. Or so she tried to convince herself. Willow kept her feelings of fear and hunger at bay. Fear she could deal with. The hunger? It was that gnawing, unrelenting, feeling in her mind, and in her stomach would not cease. It made her think of humans as food and not as allies.

Although Willow knew she would never take food that way, it was never far from her mind, that if she didn't do what she had to do, she would have to "feed" eventually. That she couldn't face, ever! Willow wondered how Angel kept control, now she would never have the chance to ask him. It was a pity, he had given her much to anguish over, but much to be thankful for.

Her room was much as she left it the other day. The other day, when she was innocent, still a girl, thinking of love in "girlish" ways. Now that she and Angel.....Willow smiled, thinking that when Angel loved her, she never felt so safe, so loved in her whole life. That, in itself was not a regret. The regret was that she would never have a chance to thank him.

Willow sat on her bed, and looked at the clock. It was late, and she mused on how many hours she would have to waste until dawn. Feeling guilty she looked again at the picture she didn't take, the one of her and Buffy, laughing. Buffy had loved Angel. But, did she love him because he was a vampire? Often Buffy would talk about his "past" and shudder, thinking over the violence he had done. Willow never did mind his past. It was now, the present, that made the man. Did Buffy understand that? Willow, as long as she had known Buffy, always thought that Buffy fell in love with love.

Willow would never again question love. With Xander it was always striving for the unattainable. With Angel she fell harder, longer, and deeper. He cared for her easily, even though he still clung to the love of Buffy, or so Willow thought. If she really knew, that right now Angel was fighting over her with Xander, her thoughts would have been different.

***

"Come on Dead Boy!" Xander said teasingly. "Come on! Bring it!"

If it had been other circumstances Angel would have smirked at Xander's pitiful saying. Now, that simple phrase burned at him. "Oh I am going to enjoy the taste of you!" Angel said, every word harsh and grating. "I can smell your blood and it's full of fear."

Giles, shaking his head, to clear it, slowly got to his feet. this was a dangerous situation, Angel already had his "game face" on and was considering taking Xander as a meal. Xander, a stake in his hand, was going to kill Angel, and die trying. "Stop this now!" He shouted. His normally quiet British voice resonating around the library. "Think of what you're doing!"

"Giles stay out of this! This human has hurt Willow for the last time!" Angel jumped at Xander. There was a sound of cracking as the two men hit the library table. Falling off, Angel quickly landed on his feet, while Xander sprawled on the floor. Angle, put his foot, on Xander's back, and pulled his head up. He crouched down with amazing agility, and sunk his teeth into Xander's neck. "Mmmmm my second taste in two hundred years. Not as wonderful as the first, but it will do....."

Xander struggled, breathing hard, while Angel watched. "I enjoy seeing you suffer. You've hurt my Willow for a long time, and now it's time to pay!" Angel laughed, and bent down for a final thrust into Xander's neck, when he was suddenly knocked off his feet, and slammed onto the ground. Xander seeing this to be his cue to stake Angel was also pinned down to the floor.

When Angel opened his eyes, he was going to burst off the floor and kill Xander. However, his progress was slowed somewhat by Giles. A sword point was snugly settling down in the middle of his chest. He looked up at Giles, anger in his heart. Giles, his face, placid, his eyes glittered dangerously, betraying an inner power, that Angel knew well. He had noticed that look in the Master's eyes, once.

***

Willow hopped off her bed wiping her face again. It would do no good to cry and cry. Thinking only brought fear to her troubled heart. Here she was supposed to be calm, resigned.

She forced herself to walk through her door to the other parts of the house. However, there was something that made her stop by her parent's room. A heartbeat? Was that the warmth of another human in the house?

She pulled the door open, and saw a man in there! Willow couldn't help herself, she squeaked in surprise!

***

"Now that I have your attention. Perhaps we can talk like civilized men?" Giles said increasing the pressure under his foot as Xander squirmed. "That's much better."

Giles, with one hand, lifted Xander up, and forcefully deposited him in a chair. And then, slowly backed Angel up to the stacks by putting pressure on the sword. "That was a stupid thing to do Angel" He drawled, "If you do it again, I will stake you myself."

"Yeah! You could have killed me!" Xander said from across the room.

Giles covered the distance between them and slapped Xander violently with his hand. "You also were very, very stupid. If you hurt Angel, You will join him in death."

This was a side of Giles, that Xander had heard of, but had never seen in action. He fell silent, not willing to anger him further. "Now we need to find Willow, before Buffy does."

Xander, his head bowed said in a sulky voice, "Willow's dead."

"She is not dead." Giles said matter-of-factly. "She is undead. And right now, according to Angel, trying to kill herself"

"Undead? You mean that bastard over there turned her into a vampire?" Xander propelled himself out of his chair only to be slammed back in it by Giles. He grabbed Xander by his chin and forced him to look in his eyes. "He did it to save her life, not to end it. She has her soul. He loves her."

"Yeah like he loved Buffy right?"

Xander was resentful, angry and tired. He had been though a lot in the past few days. Alternately hating and loving Buffy, trying to rid himself of the guilt of leaving Willow in the sewer, and now having to deal with her not dead, but a vampire. "And that makes it better? Tell Xander she's okay, but a vampire, and Angel loves her, and everything's going to be all right?"

Xander put his hand up to his neck and felt the smeared and drying blood there. "And I'm supposed to be okay about this?"

***

Buffy walked the dark streets, not caring if anyone was out, man nor beast. The moon, one day past full, still shone on the dark streets. The sun would come up tomorrow, and the day after that. She would go on, and on. Even if Xander understood how she was feeling, even if she could talk to Giles about how she was feeling, it would not erase the guilt. Not one inch. Only Willow would understand, or her mom, if her mom knew that Buffy was the Slayer, and accepted it.

Funny how one's thoughts direct your feet sometimes. Buffy found herself walking in Will's neighborhood. Almost to Willow's house, she decided to visit and commune with her old friend. "Better late than never." she mumbled to herself.

At the sound of breaking glass Buffy started to run. That sound was in the direction of Willow's house.

***

Giles quickly sorted out the two resentful men in his company. Xander took some patching up. Giles was efficient, bandaging up Xander's neck, while Xander traded angry looks with Angel.

"Hey that hurts!" Xander could not help yelling as Giles applied alcohol, to his wound. Angel had only tasted him to make him fearful. It had only increased Xander's anger. All the while Giles was bandaging Xander, he told him what had happened. How Angel and Willow had been trapped, because no one, (a slight tinge of guilt to Xander), held back and let the Slayer do her job. How, to save her life, Angel gave her the crossover option because the suffering of dehydration coupled with starvation, was more than Willow could endure. How the crossover had been done with the Ritual of Souls, and Giles was not sure if it took properly. Angel's head snapped up quickly at this. He knew Giles may have been keeping something from him. He didn't know that this could be it.

During Giles's long account, Xander become more and more quiet. He head bowed, it was as if he were walking in Willow's shoes. Giles explained how quite suddenly, Angel had fallen in love with Willow in a way he couldn't explain. Xander's head was down to his chest. "What about Buffy." Xander's voice was soft.

Angel, hesitated, and looked at Giles. "I don't know how I feel." Angel said simply. "Willow thinks I only use her for... sex."

"What?!" Xander half raised from his chair. Giles gently pushed him back down. "Giles, they had....had...sex!"

Giles smirked a bit at Xander's reaction, and turned to Angel. "Well? Do you?"

Angel was surprised at Giles's reaction. "No....no I don't." He said, averting Giles's gaze.

It was what Giles was expecting. He hoped to get some sort of commitment from Angel. Even though he had his soul, Angel could still be termed as feral.

***

The man, a buglar, was quicker then Willow could react! His arm snaked out and grabbed her by the hair, pulling her into the bedroom. He was big, with light blond hair, a stubbly beard covering his chin. He was strong enough to slam Willow onto the carpet. she gripped her head, still too shocked to say anything. The man, bent down close to her face, and breathed fumes into her face. It was a noxious combination of cigarettes and booze.

"Just stay there, and shut up!" he said, his voice high and excited. "You an me are gonna have some fun juss as soon as I find the fuckin stuff."

The bedclothes came off, flung to the ground. Willow just lay where she was, saying nothing. Too far past caring to do anything. The man noticing her lack of fear, came over and casually hit her on the head, knocking her to the carpet again. "What's that, Bitch?" Willow kept silent.

Again he hit her, this time, stopping to grab her by the back of her head. "Yeah you look real sweet. I'll tell ya, as soon as I find the gets, I'm gonna fuck you stupid!"

He ran his hand down the side of her face, giving her cheek a powerful pinch. "You gotta thank your mommy and daddy for leaving you home tonight!"

He shouldn't have said that. She could withstand the prodding, the violence. In her state of mind, it was nothing compared to what she had been through. But this brute's careless remark about her parents leaving her at home, brought all the misery bubbling up to the surface. It blazed anew. Willow looked him in the eyes as her face changed. "I should thank you for coming here tonight."

The man's sneer turned to fright. Willow's voice was low, as she felt the full force of the demon rise match her agony and anger. "I may even have you for dinner."

Letting go of her head, he, tried, TRIED to go out the door. Willow caught him easily letting him struggle in her grasp. The "sweet" Willow, who would not raise a hand to anyone, was just a passenger in this body consumed by rage.

The smell of his blood filled her with delight! How different the Willow was to the "Willow" of a few weeks ago. Why be like Angel and "control" it. Why not enjoy the power the blood gives one. The man was screaming, and Willow ignored it. The more he struggled, the more she relished in the smell of his blood. For one second, she loosened her grip, and he burst out of her hands, and went through the window of her parent's bedroom. Willow followed, enjoying the hunt.

***

Xander pulled his jacket closer to his body, "But you loved Buffy, and this is how you treat her?"

Angel was already down the flight of stairs going towards Giles's car. "You show precious little regard for Willow. You jerk!

"I love Willow!" Xander said, tugging on Angel's leather coat. His hand slipping off, the smooth leather

"Don't give me that crap Xander. You want to be with Buffy!" Angel said trying to get out of Xander's way.

"What do you care? You've already fucked Willow!" Giles's hand swiped across Xander's face with such force that his eyes teared.

"Gentlemen," Giles began, getting into the car. "This is getting us nowhere... If you continue to fight, I will lock you both in the cage and help Willow myself."

Xander rubbed his smarting cheek. "I will if he will. For both Buffy and Willow." He said squeezing into the back seat.

Angel's hand was on Giles's arm. He noticed how violent he became when Xander started lipping off about Willow. "Giles, she's mine" he said simply.

"Yes?" His reply was short, curt.

"She's mine."

"And your point being?" Giles's voice sounded impatient.

Angel gripped his arm tighter. "She doesn't belong to anyone else!"

"That's for her to decide." Giles said calmly shaking off Angel's hand.

"Not if I have anything to do with it." Angel's words were harsh, but his resolve was harsher.

"We'll see." Came Giles's cryptic reply.

***

Buffy sprinted towards the sound. In the distance, she could hear a man screaming. She could sense at least one vampire's signature. She couldn't place it. It had a weird kind of familiarity to it, but she could not concentrate on that. When she rounded the corner, at first she couldn't see anything. The only light was the moon, and it made surreal the landscape before her. In the distance, there was a constant drone of an automobile engine, and other assorted cars. Then Buffy realized, it was Willow's house she was looking at. It chilled her to the bone.

***

Willow leapt out of the window easily. Her face was grim as she ran the man to the ground, like prey. His blood was roaring in her ears. She grabbed him by his collar as he lay on the ground, and pulled his face inches from hers. The man wordlessly screamed, motionless, the fear pulsating through his body. Willow gently set him back down on the ground putting her hand on his chest feeling his heart beat. His eyes were wide open, his mouth large and pink. Then she pulled his head to one side, methodically, examining his neck, and the veins that popped out there. Now was the time, the sounds of the night faded, as she sunk her teeth into his neck.

***

"Can't you go faster?" Xander said ducking just in case Giles hit him again. They decided the best way to find Willow was to look in the one place she might go... her home. Giles coolly and calmly figured that if HE were in the same state of mind he would go to the one place that gave him peace, his home.

Xander clutched his aching head. Still smarting form the numerous little love taps that Giles laid on him with increasing frequency. And, what was Giles's problem anyway? Was he aware what Angel had done to Willow? Why was Giles so angry? The car jumbled his nerves. What did he feel anyway? Was it because Angel had the best of both worlds? He loved Buffy, and made love to Willow. He had almost everything that Xander once called his. But why could Angel have it and NOT him? Angel had the love of Buffy, and Willow AND Gile's obvious respect.

And then Xander hit on it. The reason his world had become so small. Xander was still a boy going after things, people, in typical boyish fashion. And, (and this was the hard part to face) he was selfish. Only thinking of how HE felt. How HE was going to deal with the loss of friends. And Xander just this day called Buffy a bitch. Yet, he was one too, Now that he knew Willow was alive, he could only think of how this was going to effect Buffy. He got angry with Angel for ignoring Buffy. But the man obviously loved Willow in a way that Xander couldn't. Shouldn't that be protected? Xander knew he had been going about it in the wrong way. He fought the one thing that could keep Willow alive... Angel.

***

Giles had been quietly observing Xander come to grips with what had happened. He looked at the worried face of Angel, not knowing what to expect when they got to Willow's house. And how did HE feel. Of course Giles liked Willow, and felt a connection to her, for Angel's sake.

***

The burgler fought back, insanely, wildly. Willow had a hard time controlling him. All the vampire might in the world cannot stop a human's insane strength. But, the blood was so good, and it energized her. The hunger that drove her, that caused her "inner" voice to drone on and on, was less violent. Willow was slowly returning to herself with the more blood she consumed.

Concentrating on getting the most "food" that she could, Willow did not notice, could not notice the other figure that was observing them from across the street. However, the man did, and really started to fight Willow. He flayed his legs, and somehow ended up on top of her, her mouth still clamped on his neck. His fists beating on her, his heart pumping wildly, sending gushes of blood into her mouth.

Buffy watching from the street, in the dim light of the moon, decided that this was no normal couple having a "fling", this guy was really a vampire, and the girl was getting it good! She was about to find out how wrong she was!

Having no stake, Buffy first decided the best thing was to separate them, giving the girl a chance to get away. "Well the best thing to do is roar." She mumbled.

Buffy came flying across the street shouting, and came upon the "couple" in leaps. She grabbed the man by the collar and sent him flying through the air about five feet. Buffy turned to the girl, "Run! I'll take care of this guy." She yelled.

But the girl just laid there. Buffy bent down, and picked her up with one hand, "Did you hear me......"

Was she seeing a ghost? It was Willow she was holding by her shirt. But it was not Willow, it was a demon girl who looked like Willow? Buffy, half confused and half horrified managed to choke out one word. "Will?"

This time it was Willow's turn to go insane. All her misery, and anger all the pent up anxiety towards her friend lashed out, and she struck Buffy to the ground. Willow put her foot out to kick Buffy savagely, but Buffy was quicker and grabbed her foot and TWISTED pulling Willow to the ground.

This was no best friend, this was a vampire Willow and no pal of hers. Buffy sprang to her feet, and got ready for the next attack. Her thoughts ranged from staying alive, and how to kill her best friend. What a choice!

Giles was the first to see the fight. He swerved the car into the driveway, and was out before Angel and Xander had time to question him. Angel then LEAPED out of the car practically taking the door off. Xander was last, and fell to the ground trying to squeeze himself out of the back.

Willow and Buffy were circling each other. Angel, frightened that they were going to kill each other, yelled out, "BUFFY!"

"Angel?" Buffy said, looking away. This gave Willow a chance to strike. Willow's agony was fresh now. Angel did not yell out her name, but the name of his one and true beloved, Buffy. Willow didn't care if she got killed by anyone now. But, how wrong she was.

Angel, truly afraid, that Buffy would stake Willow was trying to distract Buffy for a moment giving Willow a chance to get away. Giles, was quicker, he tried to get between the fighting girls to break them apart. He was only in the way when Willow launched herself at Buffy. And he fell to the ground, groaning, with Willow on top of him.

Xander stood shock still, not knowing what to do! Buffy, her thoughts in a turmoil, was trying frantically to control the situation. "Stay back! I think it's Willow!"

Angel also tried to run and help Giles, who was lying between the two girls. "Willow please!" He cried. His voice betraying the agony he was feeling.

Angel was knocked off his feet by Buffy trying to protect him. "Stop! Willow's a vampire!"

"I know I made her that way!" he yelled back. Buffy was looking at Angel and not at Willow, which was a serious mistake! Xander put himself in harm's way by jumping in front of the attacking Willow. Not recognizing him, Willow punched him in the stomach, and in the face. Xander bent over double grunting. Buffy saw the attack then, and ripped off a portion of some bushes, to use as a stake. She fully intended to stake Willow.

Giles put out his arm to stop Willow from attacking more. He was rewarded by a deep slash down the side of his arm, from Buffy, who came from the other side to hit, her anger in full force. Giles, fell into Willow's arms, and they both crashed to the ground. Willow's attention was drawn to the already oozing wound and with the demon's full approval, she dipped her finger into it, and brought it to her mouth. That casual act, stopped Buffy in her tracks, Angel was already holding her back. Giles, his voice strangely detached, looked up at Willow, "Willow, what are you doing?" He asked.

It was then the rage emptied out of her. Willow looked down at Giles, and hugged him to her, a strange sound emitting from her. Giles shifting his weight, encircled her in his arms, cooing gently. But the blood that he was shedding, was still distracting her. Willow couldn't help herself, from stealing some, licking it off her fingers. Giles let her, looking at his Slayer with a look of danger in his eyes. Buffy was torn but her Slayer sense got the best of her. "Giles, she's a monster!" She said, trying to get to him!

That broke something in Willow, finally. She was a monster. She shoved Giles, away, blood still on her hands, and stood. The horror of what she had done, plainly visible on her face. Angel holding Buffy by her shoulder's turned her around, "She's not a monster! You Are!" and flung her over to Xander. He then gently helped Giles to his feet.

Willow looked at all of them standing there, her voice was full of anger, misery, desperation. "Oh god! What have I done...." Her hands covered her face. "Oh god! God help me...help me...."

Angel was the first to her, and tried to put his arms around her, to comfort her. He was relived she was alive, but still aware that Buffy still occupied his thoughts. Willow backed away from him. Her face twisted in abject agony. The "sweet" Willow had returned, to face what the demon had done.

Giles stood just behind her, cradling his arm, the long scratch that Buffy made, was deep, and now bleeding profusely. Xander, was holding Buffy, looking at the two men slowly circling Willow. He knew this was a dangerous time. Buffy, upset as she was, at the sudden "appearance" of her friends, was coming to the conclusion that Angel no longer had intense feelings for her. It was as if Angel was dying all over again. Then Buffy had to fight Willow for her life, and that also took a toll!

"What is going on here?" Xander asked, still chuffing and holding his stomach. he released Buffy. She walked over to Angel, trying to grasp him in her arms, to tell him that she understood, that it was okay.

"Is that Willow? she managed to ask, when Angel avoided her arms. Willow was still crying, and he was torn between a desire to comfort her, and to tell Buffy what happened. Willow, still weeping, was moving away from the little group. "She is a vampire, and Angel crossed her over.... it's true." Giles said, looking from Buffy to Angel.

"And you knew this? And kept it from me?" She said accusingly. "And you ran from me at this house, and at the dam! It was you!" She pointed a long finger at Angel.

"Yes it was me...us." Angel said sadly.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you come to me?" She asked

"Because you're the damn Slayer!" Angel's croaked. "It's your duty to kill vampires!"

Xander had been carefully watching the whole time. He wasn't about to let Angel off the hook so easily. "And he loves her." He said grimly.

"He loves her? Is this true?" Buffy voice was full of unshed tears.

Angel bowed his head. "I don't know, I'm not sure."

***

It was just too much for Willow to endure. Not only had she killed a man, she attacked her best friend, tasted a man she had respect for, and heard the man she loved declare that he didn't know if he loved her. The sky was beginning to light on the eastern horizon. The sun was coming, and it was her chance to put an end to this.

Willow ran without knowing where she was going. Looking back frequently to make sure she was not followed, she ran eastward. At first she thought to just run until the sun came up. But, she thought to go to Angel's. The sun shone strongly at the entrance, and it would be a fitting memorial to her love for him. For a smart girl, she wasn't thinking too clearly.

Willow thought all she had to do was wait in the shadows of the doorway, until the morning sun came over the building, and then just step outside. She hung in the doorway, shivering, running her short life over in her head. Regrets? She had some, but she hoped it wouldn't follow her into the next life.

***

Buffy was still asking Angel some tough questions, ignoring her friend completely. "So you love her?"

Angel tried to get out of her way, He looked to Giles to Xander to help him. But they were busy patching up Giles's wound. "It's not easy to explain. You wouldn't understand."

"Because I'm not a vampire right?" Buffy said, pushing at his chest.

He flung his arms in a demonstration of frustration. "You don't understand. I HAD to bring her over, or kill her. She was suffering!" Angel was exasperated.

"But you didn't have to love her." Buffy said, turning way from him.

Angel put his hand on her shoulder. "No I didn't. But I do."

"But I love you!" Her anguished cry cut through him like a knife. but if he was to have any future with Willow, he had to cut the cord cleanly with Buffy.

"Stop, stop, stop! What about Willow? Huh?" Xander said looking at the sky getting light. "We've got to get them inside or we'll be talking barbecue here."

Giles came over, concern written on his face. "Willow's gone!"

"Gone?!" Both Xander and Angel said in unison.

"Yes gone! and the sun is coming up. Have you two any idea where she could have gone?" Giles was clearly agitated.

Angel paced a bit, and almost pulled his hair out. "I have no idea where to look!"

"Perhaps, you and Xander should go back to your flat. Buffy and I will wait here just in case she comes back. GO we are running out of time!"

***

Hi God-

Okay--let's try this again. I asked you, just a couple of days ago, if you could just watch over Willow and make sure she was okay...if you could save her from some cruel, pitiful death all alone under the ground. Or if you could make sure that Angel left her alone, just in case they'd ended up together. I didn't want her to be hurt--so why, why, why, did this happen?

In case you didn't catch it--Willow is now a vampire.

Excuse me while I go and stick my head in the oven.

Why did you let this happen? Willow was a good person. She never did one thing wrong in her entire life--and I should know. She loved you, and she believed in you, and when she needed you, you weren't there. Just like I wasn't there...

I know what you are probably saying--at least she was able to hang on to her soul. And don't think that I'm not thankful for that...but she is still going to have to drink blood for the rest of her life, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. If she could've stopped this, I'm sure she would've. Angel says that she consented to being made into a vampire, because she didn't want to die--but I'll bet he pressured her like crazy, just to get a taste of her.

I thought that Giles would be sympathetic to me on all of this, but he is so different than I imagined him to be. Sure, I've seen him freak out before...like the time that Ethan showed up at school...but I never thought he'd strike out at me. Now, it seems like he slaps me every time I breathe the wrong way. And worse, he is supporting Angel through all of this. Angel, who turned my best friend, the only person in the world that I loved absolutely purely, into a bloodsucking demon.

I want to believe that she is the same as before, but it seems that she's gone through a lot of changes since I last saw her. The one that shocked me the most, to be completely honest, was finding out that she slept with Angel. It's not that Willow was guarding her virginity like crazy, or anything...but I also didn't think she'd give it up so easily. He says that he loves her, but I don't believe that there is anything good in him. When he got angry with me, he actually bit me.

And that fucking bite hurt more than anything I have ever felt before. Worse than when I broke my arm, or when fell down those stairs in the fifth grade. Angel is fucking monster...a fucking sociopath...a fucking...uh-oh. You probably don't much like hearing me say that--but really, what do I have to lose here? I want you to save Willow, not me. Anything could happen to me, just as long as I knew she would be safe.

I sound really fickle, I suppose. Up until a few days ago, Buffy was the only thing on my mind. But I realized really quickly after Willow disappeared exactly how much Buffy actually cared about her. I mean, she never said one word to me--not one little word. No sympathy. No, "I'm sorry that your best friend died." All she cared about was her beautiful Angel. And I called her on it--which I am sure you know. A little part of me actually felt happy when Angel said he was in love with Willow. I don't want Buffy anymore, but for some reason, I wanted her to be hurt. I am sorry for that--and I hope that you know it. I'm not really angry with her anymore, mostly because I'm angrier with myself. Maybe, if I had stayed behind with Willow when the sewer caved in, we could have gone down together. Or, at the least, I might have been able to stop Angel.

Angel swears up and down that he loves her, and that she loves him...but I thought that she loved me. I never let that slip to anyone before, but I'm not so blind that I didn't realize Willow had feelings for me. And I feel like the biggest jerk in the world for never talking with her about it. It would be a lie if I said that I was in love with her too, because I'm really not...but I always figured that someday, I might be. I sort of kept her in the background, like some kind of prize, and I always expected that she would be there if I ever wanted to return her feelings. I am so selfish...I know.

But in this one thing, I don't want to be selfish. I want Willow to be okay--and if that means Angel must go to her and they have to be together, I can deal with it. Because, when I thought she was dead, my heart broke right in half. I know that she isn't the same old Willow, but I'd rather have part of her than none of her.

Angel and I are going to go to find her now, and all I can do is hope that you've been listening to me, for once. I should only be so lucky--but Willow deserves this, and I know that you can understand that.

***

It was there that they found her. Angel, because the sun was almost up, came up the back way and Xander came from the entrance. She was huddled there, back to the darkness of the door, her face to the light of the morning sun. Her voice was thick and horse "Please don't come closer. I'm a monster."

Xander stopped his voice was quiet. "You are Willow my friend, and not a monster."

Angel was a bit more relived. "Willow you're alive! Please come inside."

Willow put her back to the doorway, she was now not facing wither of them, but staring out into space. "You know Angel, oh how I loved you! I was so dumb to love someone like you. but tell me was it all just sex? Did you love me just a little bit?"

"I love you with every bit of myself. If you go out into the sun, then I will. It wasn't just sex, it was love." His voice was wavering, he barely choked out the last words.

She turned to Xander and laughed a bit. "You see, this is my little bit of heaven. All I have to do is touch the sun. And you're free. All of you are free, and no worries." Then she turned to Angel. "I've tried to be a good person. but I can't do this. I love you too much. I know why Buffy did those things to keep your love. I would do it too."

"Willow I love you too, please go with Angel. We'll take of Buffy, I promise!" Xander inched closer and closer to his distraught friend. "Don't leave me here alone. When I thought you were gone, I could have gone crazy! Now that you are here, all I can think of is making you stay. You're not a monster anymore than Angel is. Come back to us, Please?"

She made no move to go inside. All the will of the two men were pressing in on her. The tears ran down her face, her body slipped slowly down the doorjamb. "Please Willow! I'll take care of you! I won't let anyone hurt you anymore. Please don't leave me!" Angel cried, going down on his knees his hands outstretched, his face wet with tears.

"Now listen here Girl! What Angel is telling you is the truth. I believe him! He took a few step closer. "I want you to be my friend for the rest of my life. Go with him. Please go with him!" Xander's face was also wet with tears. Willow collapsed on the ground, close, too close to the advancing sun.

Angle finally got close enough to grab her, and enfolded her in his arms. He lifted her up and carried her into the darkness, all the while kissing her, and telling her she's going to be all right.

Xander turned his face to the sunlight, and ran his hand through his hair. He was tired, bruised and needing a shower. He walked away, a little bit sad that his "old" Willow was a new person. But, as Giles often said, "A Place for everything, and everything in it's place."

San Francisco, Chinese New Year, 2040:

The Woman looked out over the bay. A breeze playing with the tendrils that escaped her long braided hair. A single long rope of hair plunged down her body, framed by her backless black dress. She turned her face up to the stars, and sighed. A man came up beside her, kissing her on the neck, and she hugged him close, her head coming to rest on his chest.

They stood there for a while watching the tide chug and churn on the shore. Another man came up to the couple. He had in his hands three sticks. He kissed the woman gently on the lips, and kissed the other man as well, handing him one of the sticks. Once the sticks were all handed out, he lit them one by one. The sparklers glittered and twinkled, throwing light on the water.

The woman's laughter rang out over the bay. As the light of the sparklers dimmed, the fireworks started and lit up the sky. They watched for a while, while the two men sandwiched the woman in a side-by-side embrace. The woman whispered to the men, and one could see they were both smiling. Hand in hand in hand, they left the deck and went into the large bedroom and pulled the curtains, still laughing and smiling.