Part 8
The mansion

Willow dropped her bag, packed with clothes, spellbooks and anything else she thought she might need for she and Amy's "roadtrip", next to the heavy front door of the house.
"Angel?" she called quietly, not really expecting an answer-- he did say he was going to bed.She headed towards the bedroom...
. . .where he was indeed asleep.
<God, he looks sexy> she thought, looking at his bare torso.
Guilt flushed her system-- not from her wanton thoughts, but from the fact that she was having them. Angel belonged to Buffy, and Willow felt like she was back-stabbing her best friend. . . despite the fact that Buffy was dead. She shook her head in confusion. A month ago the thought that she might be in this situation had never crossed her mind. Some part of her had actually believed that their relationship lines would never blur. She and Oz would be happy hacker soulmates. Buffy and Angel would be angst-filled undenied passion soulmates. Xander and Cordelia would remain verbally abusive ex-soulmates. Thus was Willow World.
Now here she was, Eternal Child and her dead best friend's lover.
An anxious feeling cramped in Willow's abdomen as she watched him sleep. She was physically exhausted, and wanted nothing more than to lay down beside him and feel his strong arms lock around her aching body. Emotionally, though, sparks of nervousness were shooting through her and she didn't think she'd be able to rest. . .she was afraid to, actually, because of how her subconscious might torment her through dreams. Pushed to the brink, she placed a hand over her eyes to catch her tears. Suddenly, the sight of Angel was no longer a comfort, but a slap in the face from Buffy's hand. Bile rose in her throat and she rushed from the bedroom.
***
Angel awoke at the sound of retching coming from the bathroom.
"Willow?" he mumbled sleepily. He stumbled towards the powder room.
A very crumpled Willow sat on the cold tile floor, brokenly crying next to the toilet. The room smelled of vomit, but it did little to repulse him as he knelt by her (deftly closing the lid on his way down.)
He pulled her into his lap and placed his arms around her softly, as if she were in great pain.
"Don't touch me," she said, voice muffled because her face was buried in her knees. She made no move to shove him away, however, and his grip tightened slightly.
"Sorry, star-sweeper, but I'm hooked."
"Don't say that."
He brushed her sweaty hair back. "Why? It's the truth."
"Because it isn't fair."
"What's unfair about it?"
She looked up at him."Because you're in love with--"
"-- a beautiful woman who gave me my happiness again and who is strong and kind and everything in the world a lucky bastard like me doeasn't deserve."
"That doesn't change the fact that--"
"Buffy's dead? No, it doesn't. Or that I still love her? I do. I went across country and to Hell and back for her and I loved her with everything I could. But I still knew she was a Slayer, Willow. I knew I probably had another two centuries on earth, while she'd be lucky for another 2 monthes. I knew one day she'd be gone. . .I just didn't know it would feel like this . . ." his voice cracked and he held her harder. "I miss her so much, Will. But I'm still here and so are you. And I can't do this alone."
She sighed. "Neither can I. I love you, Angel."
Relief hit him like a line of cocaine. "Thank God," he said, and buried his face in her neck.
***
"I've never done anything like this before," Willow said awkwardly.
"I know," Angel said, squeezing her shoulder. "Once you know what you're doing it won't hurt as much."
She looked at him skepticly.
"I promise," he said.
"We'll start slow," Giles said from behind her.
She jumped, forgetting he was there. "Okay," she said bracing herself. "I'm ready."
Giles bowed slightly, then punched her in the face. With amazing agility and grace, she countered. Without even realizing what she was doing, she attacked the pads on Giles's hands with a skilled combination of punches and kicks. Angel watched, amazed at Willow's power. It blasted off her in unrefined waves, raw and surging. Within a few minutes she had Giles dominated, and braced for a final blow. She stepped back, barely sweating.
"How'd I do?" she asked brightly.
"That was incredible." he told her, acknowledging the fact, to himself only, that it had really turned him on.
"Incredible, huh?" she said. Her eyes teased him cruelly,<I'll show you something increadible tonight, you hunk of burning vampire,you.>
"Right then, on to quarter staff," Giles said, unaware of the look passing between the two of them.
He handed Willow a shaft of wood, which felt perfectly weighted in her hand. She savored the feel of it for a few minutes, then, touched weapons and dropped into a defensive stance.
The phone rang. "Ah, bollucks. . ." Giles muttered. "Carry on," he said, tossing Angel his staff and scurring into his office.
Angel bowed before her, and she followed suit. They began combat, both of them moving smoothly but rarely landing hits. Willow honestly didn't think she could smack Angel with a stick if her life depended on it, and he himself did not seem to eager to beat her down. They moved about the library locked in their dance. The world fell away from Willow, and the only noises were her breathing and the clank of wood against wood.
Until Oz cleared his throat behind them.
They both froze,almost guiltily, as if they'd been caught making love on one of the tables. They air sung with an unspoken alpha-male vibration. <Uh oh,> she thought. <Angel. . . >
The vampire was the first to move, dropping his weapon to the floor. "I'll go see if Giles needs help," he said, calmly, fufilling Willow's unspoken request.
"Hello," she said, suddenly feeling naked in the tights and sports bra she'd selected to work out in.
"Hi," he said.
"What are you. . .I mean, what's up?"
"Full moon," he said succinctly.
"Oh," she said awkwardly. Oz turned around and locked himself in the weapons cage.
<He knows,> Willow thought suddenly. Her chest began to burn sharply and she knew that somewhere inside of Oz, he was breaking.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
He turned around and looked at her ironically. Then he shrugged and lay down on the floor to wait for the sun to set completly. As the change took him he shut his eyes drowned in the scent of arousal Willow was giving off, mingled with Angel's sweat. . .
 

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