Where There's a Willow, There's a Way

Author: Lori Burcaw

Parts: 1-4

E-Mail: lobo_66@hotmail.com

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: All characters within are property of Joss Whedon, et al, and are used without permission. (But you try ignoring characters that just won't GO AWAY.)

Summary: Angel gets out of hell, and Willow shows him her Xena impression.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was early when Willow came out of her private bathroom. She had nothing on as she vigorously dried her hair with a towel, not expecting the "present" she found on her floor. She moved towards her closet and stopped at the moaning coming from her bed.

When she looked over she saw a very burnt Angel curling away from the sunlight coming in through her frenchdoors. "I'll be damned! It worked!" she said, surprised.

Quickly she shut the blinds on the doors and covered them with a blanket from her closet. When she turned around she was met with the very confused stare of Angel. "Willow?" he rasped.

"In the flesh." she replied flippantly.

"What, uh.... ahhh....." he turned away quickly not wanting her to see him change when the hunger overtook him. <I've got to get out of here!> He tried to stand up and almost fell on his face.

Fortunately Willow was fast and caught him. "Oh no you don't!" she said forcefully. "I spent three months trying to get you back you're not running out on me! Besides that it's daytime." She sat him back on the bed facing the doors and peeled away a corner of the blanket to prove it.

Angel looked up and was taken back at the sight. Not the daylight, mind you, but Willow naked with the sun increasing the fiery red of her hair. Shame automatically hit him and he looked back down. "Willow I really want to know what's going on but first I think you should get dressed."

She saw his recognition and continued, now having pulled on her jeans she sat down with him on the bed. "You killed Miss Calendar and tormented all of us for months." She paused to put on her shirt and stop herself from punching him. <He's Angel not Angelus remember that!> "One day I found a disk that had the original curse on it. Unfortunately at the same time you had decided to awaken a demon named Acathla. Buffy had me try the curse but before I could finish it Dru came and I was put in the hospital. Then in the hospital I tried again hoping I would be in time to stop you. I wasn't. Buffy and you were fighting and she almost had you when your soul was returned."

Angel turned paler than normal and he said, "We kissed then she ran me through with a sword and I was sent to Hell."

"Exactly. She disappeared that night and none of us have seen her since."

"Then how do you know......?" Angel asked more than a little angry at himself for what had happened. The anger brought back the demon's need for blood and he had to literally throw Willow off the bed so he wouldn't bite her.

Anger flared from Willow until she realized his predicament. "Angel....." she said as softly as possible, not wanting to enrage him more, while she returned to the bed and reached out to his face.

Growling he turned away. "I need blood Willow and I am not about to feed from you!" he said fiercely.

"You don't have a choice. I can't leave you here to go get some and you most certainly can't go get some. So what do you suggest?"

She was standing in front of him, her hands on her hips, with her "resolved" face on. Angel realized he would be a fool to argue with her. "I don't know." he pouted.

Then, a second thought entered his mind. "I could just open those doors and be dust." He said with longing.

Willow slapped him. Astonished Angel looked at her. " What was that for?" he asked, rubbing his cheek.

"Every time I hear you talk or I even think your thinking about suicide or blaming yourself I'm going to hit you." she said with conviction.

"Why do you care?" he asked with a laugh.

"Because I need you to live!! Now eat!" she pushed herself between his legs and pulled his mouth to her neck. He tried to pull away but couldn't he was too weak from the trip to Hell and back. However he still had enough sense to not bite. So he spoke against her throat. "Willow I can't feed from you. Please don't make me."

His pleading bothered her. Sighing she released him. "All right. You promise me that you won't do anything stupid and I'll be right back with a solution."

"All right." he agreed.

"Good, I'm going to the kitchen but I'll be right back." She looked him in the eye to be sure and saw a lot of pain but also trust. She told him he'd be safe with a smile, then left.

While Willow was gone Angel's memories that had been trickling back came en masse. He was reduced to a sobbing mess of guilt with a million questions. He wanted so much to be able to understand how Willow could still trust him. Not to mention the fact that he was going crazy at the prospect of never seeing Buffy again. How could he live without her? Never to be able to explain how he felt. God! He'd only told her twice that he loved her, never told her how she represented life itself for him. That she was his reason for getting up every night. And to have said the things he wanted to say, after their magical night together when she had given all of herself to him. That was what he really hated the demon for. <No wonder she sent me to Hell. I want to go back!>

Willow heard the sobs coming from her room long before she reached it. Bravely she entered her room with a glass of her blood, and bandages on her wrists. Willow approached the only friend she had left in the world, and hit him in the kidneys. Howling in pain Angel looked up at his tormentor through tear filled eyes.

"I warned you." she said calmly holding the glass out for him. He begrudgingly took it and began to drink. That's when he noticed her bandages. His free hand reached out to caress the wounds. "Thanks." he whispered.

"You're welcome." she whispered back.

"So you remember, I take it?" she asked.

"Yeah I remember, but you still haven't told me how you know since Buffy and I were the only ones there." he said trying to piece it together.

"Well, it's a long story. Let me explain...."

End Part 1

"As soon as school was over, Giles took off in search of Buffy. I got a postcard form her saying "I sent him to Hell" over and over again the day after he left. I haven't heard from them since. It took about 2 minutes to figure out what had happened. I had given you your soul back in time for her to have to send you, not the demon to Hell. Since I felt responsible I threw myself into finding a spell to bring you back. Eventually I did and worked frantically to cast it. Unfortunately, I guess I messed up somehow in my haste, and it took three months for it to actually work. It seemed that Spike and Dru had left town, so I turned my energies to finding prophecies and preparing myself for battle. I took it upon myself to protect Sunnydale." She paused to take in his reaction. < I knew it! He thinks I'm crazy.>

"You're protecting Sunnydale? " Angel asked in disbelief.

"Yep. I began taking all the martial arts courses available, lifting weights, and practicing piercing the heart. " A sadness came over her then.

"What happened? " Angel could tell by the way she was sitting that a bad memory had surfaced and she didn't want to remember. < I know the feeling but talking about it will keep you sane.> He said with his eyes.

"I got surprised one night and Oz was with me. " She said shortly. Standing, she started pacing back and forth in front of Angel. " He died trying to protect me. Things just got worse from there. " Angel tried to pull her into a hug but she broke away. < No time for crying, Willow! You can't lose it now.>

"Xander and Cordelia began to ignore me because they didn't think what I was doing was right. My parents stopped trusting me because of all the late nights and lies, and then I learned about Vashna." At the mention of Vahsna Angel almost smiled.

"When is it? " he asked.

"I'm pretty sure it's this November but that's as far as I've gotten. " She replied. Angel nodded and said " So what happened between you and your parents?"

Unconsciously tears began to stream from Willow's eyes. " One night they decided to follow me to try to figure out what had changed their little girl into a cold hearted monster. " She laughed bitterly and took a deep breath. " I was in the cemetery taking on two very viscious vamps when a new one rose and killed them. I didn't even know it had happened until I was leaving. I had finally dispatched the 2 I was fighting, when the cocky fledgling decided to attack. It was over quickly and I took off for home. My parents bodies were sprawled across each other with their necks torn up. I had to carry them home and make it look like a burglar had killed them. They made the Harris' my guardians and they've allowed me to stay here on my own. " She wiped the tears from her eyes and went to her computer.

"Here's what I think we should do on Vashna ." She began pulling up all her files as Angel moved behind her. He gently put his hands on her shoulders.

"I think you should take time out and grieve. " Willow jerked form his grasp.

"What good will living in the past do me? They're gone and there is nothing I can do about it." Angel crouched to look her in the eye.

"I'm not saying you should dwell on their deaths, just that if you don't say good bye they'll always haunt you. " <Am I, the master brooder really saying this. Guess that time in hell was good for the soul.> Willow looked back at Angel thinking almost the exact same thing. They began laughing, and then sobbing in each others arms.

***

Willow awoke in Angel's arms. < This is the safest I've felt in a long time.> Trying not to wake him she lifted her head to look at him. <He looks so tortured.> Angel's eyes opened very slowly and he tried to focus on Willow, but he couldn't. His body was too exhausted.

" Are you OK? " He whispered while lightly stroking her hair

" No, but maybe someday I will be. " she answered truthfully " Come on, you need to rest. " Willow pulled him into her arms and without much help from Angel moved him to the bed. After she removed his shoes and pulled a blanket over him she went to tell him where she'd be when he woke up. He was already deeply asleep. <Oh well, what can I expect. After going to hell and back I'd be pretty tired too.> Going to her computer to finish collecting all the Vashna files Willow thought about the future.

<I hope Angel will be able to move on after all that's happened. I won't be able to take advantage of Vashna if he isn't there to help me. Plus, if he doesn't recover Vashna will probably kill him.> Her heart ached with that thought.<I don't know what I'll do if I lose my last friend.> She looked at her clock " Only an hour 'till sunset, I guess I better get ready."

***

Sunset found Willow Sitting on the edge of her bed in combat boots, jeans, a sports bra, and a leather jacket with many stakes in it; waiting for Angel to wake. Her hair was in a french braid with the end tucked up so nobody could use it for a grip. Finally Angel's eyes opened and he bolted up unsure of what was going on.

" Angel relax. " Willow said gently " I'm a friend, remember?" seeing his shoulders slump and a frown form willow moved to hit him.

" I remember, I remember!! " he shouted trying to evade what he knew was coming. He stopped when he came to her desk and found drawings of all the slayerettes, his on top.

" When did you do these? " He asked sitting down at the desk

" Right after I tried the spell and id didn't work, or so I thought. I wanted something to remember everyone buy, so I made myself work on them during the day while I waited for the chance to get revenge on the monsters that ruined my life."

By now he had come to Buffy's picture and his tears started again. " Willow, I have to find her! I can't let her think that I'm forever in hell because of her. She has to know, to save her from the guilt that I know is killing her." He looked at her pleading

" I'll see what I can do, but now we have other things to attend to. The first being you going back to your apartment to shower and change.

Angel entered his apartment with trepidation. All he could think about was the way the demon had trashed the place and burned anything with Buffy's scent on it. He gasped when he saw the immaculate apartment. Not a piece of broken glass or ash anywhere in site. The bed was made with replicas of the old sheets, and the broken furniture had been meticulously repaired and recovered. Wandering in shock he finally figured it out.

" Why did you ...? " He couldn't finish because of the emotion he felt at seeing Willow's smile of accomplishment.

" Because I knew that you didn't need to be reminded of the demon's deeds, and it gave me some thing to do while I waited for you to come back. Besides, while I was cleaning I discovered your hidden stash of books and money. The money I used to pay your rent, and the books have been very helpful in my research. Now go shower, you stink!" At this she playfully shoved him into the bathroom and went to get him a change of clothes.

<Since when am I so comfortable at the thought of giving a naked man clothing!> Willow thought. <I must just be OK with it because it's Angel.> She found his customary black pants and T-shirt then knocked on the bathroom door. The water was running so she figured he was already in and couldn't hear her. She opened the door intending on leaving the clothes where he could easily find them, but instead got a full view of what was in her opinion the best hunk of man she'd ever seen.

Angel had intended on getting in the shower but first he wanted to see how badly he was injured. Finding only slight cuts and bruises he turned to get in the shower, but instead found Willow staring at him unashamedly. He quickly grabbed a towel and covered himself. He cleared his throat to break her out of her reverie.

Shaking herself out of her trance at the sound of Angel clearing his throat; Willow, with more calm than she felt handed him his clothes and turned to leave. Just before she shut the door she heard Angel say "Thank you." He wasn't sure if he heard right but he thought she said, " No, thank you." as she shut the door.

End Part 2

"I am going crazy." Willow thought out loud. "There's no other explanation for why I want to go into that bathroom and kiss Angel 'till I can't breathe." She was pacing the floor in his apartment trying to get a handle on these new emotions. "I've always cared about him, but just as a friend right? I'm just feeling this because I'm lonely and I miss Oz. Yeah, that has to be it."

"No, I'm wrong. I have to be Willow is innocent and is probably as embarrassed as I am, right?" Angel was pacing in the bathroom after getting cleaned up and dressed. Feeling absolutely positive he was right he left the bathroom and found Willow sitting on his couch. She stood to face him and immediately he realized he was wrong. She didn't looked the least bit embarrassed or innocent. In fact she looked very much like Buffy used to before a hunt. All business. < That settles it! The trip to hell seriously screwed me up.> "So fell better?" Willow asked

"Yeah" he replied

"Ready to Fight?" Willow looked for some sign that Angel really was Ok

"NO!" He yelled. Willow was taken aback at the vehemence in his voice. "I am still not totally sold on you fighting the undead all by yourself. Plus I need to deal with all that's happened. My mind isn't clear enough for a fight." Angel sank onto the couch with a heavy sigh. "Not to mention the fact that I haven't eaten anything. I'm still to weak."

"Right, I forgot." Willow went to his fridge. "I got supplies for you after I did the spell and I have been replenishing them every week until you came back. Here.." She threw him a bag. He hesitated. "What not fresh enough for you?"

"No it's just....I still can't get over this new you! I thought the site of me feeding used to gross you out."

"Yeah well I'm definitely not the Willow you knew, and I'm sure you're probably not the exact Angel I knew either. So let's just start from scratch, deal?" She put out her hand to shake his, grasping hers he said "Deal."

After feeding Angel began to feel more normal than he had in a very long time. He and Willow were seated on his couch getting reacquainted.

"I've pretty much told you what happened here. Why don't you tell me what your trip to Hell was like." Willow jumped right in head first.

"Um, well it was pretty much Hell. The demon had more power than normal down there and took great pleasure in tormenting me with the memories of what he'd done to you guys. Also, I had time to realize what Whistler said was true. I lived to long in your world and actually believed I could be a part of it. Now I know differently. Unfortunately it looks like the only one I'll be able to make amends with is you."

"Ok, now I know you're not the Angel I knew. He never said more than 10 words to anyone at a time." He smiled "He never smiled either!" she said playfully. That made him laugh. "Are you sure you're my friend Angel? You're not acting like him at all." She started checking him for some sort of possession mark. Grabbing her hands he put her back in her seat gently.

"Yes, it's me. how can you be so comfortable with me? Why am I so comfortable with you?" They looked deep into each others eyes.

Willow spoke first, in a rare showing of who she once was, she whispered "Because I accept you unconditionally, and you haven't known me all my life so you don't expect me to be a certain way. With you I can be whatever or whoever I want to be." she looked away.

"Willow," Angel spoke as softly as she had "I never want you to be anyone other than Willow around me. She is the most caring and fascinating woman I have ever met." As he spoke he turned her face back to his and made her look into his eyes. "I don't want there ever to be any reason for you to feel like you can't trust me, Ok. Always tell me the truth and I'll do the same."

"Promise?"

"I Promise."

Willow moved closer to Angel " I want you to kiss me. "

"What?"

"You heard me. I told the truth now it's your turn."

God, he really wanted to kiss her, but there was still the Buffy issue. "Willow, I want to kiss you too, but right now I think is the wrong time. Our emotions are running high and I just can't."

She looked hurt for a moment then realized he was right. "Ok, but now I really have to go fight to work out this sexually energy." She jumped up and was out the door before Angel came to grips with what he just heard coming out of her mouth.

***

Willow was drawing out victim #2 by the time Angel finally found her. She was just leaving the Bronze with a fairly powerful vampire nibbling on her neck.

"So, you think you can show me a good time then do you?" Willow asked her companion. "Well I know I can show you something you've never seen before." He replied cockily.

Pulling his face up to hers Willow said " Then show me, " and kissed him savagely. Angel was about to step in when he turned to dust.

"Sure took you long enough " Willow said without turning. Angel was flabbergasted. Jaw hanging he managed to stutter " How...?"

"I told you I needed to work off sexual energy so I am. " She said without compunction.

"But, I mean, " getting angry he grabbed her by the shoulders turning her, and was hard pressed controlling his own demon. " Do you know how dangerously stupid that was?!"

"Angel, I'm a big girl now. I kill three or four like him every night. I hope you can believe me when I say I have been doing this for the past three months and I know what I can and cannot handle. Him, I could handle." <Oh and what I wouldn't give to handle you! Willow stop it! Bad girl!> Shaking herself out of it she gently removed herself from Angel's grasp before she did some thing he'd regret.

"Angel let's go back to my place and hopefully by then you'll be ready to listen."

Back at Willow's

"So are you ready to hear what I know about Vashna?" she asked from her kitchen where she'd gotten some food for her and blood for him (she'd picked it up before hunting).

Angel was sitting uncomfortably on her couch. " I think so..." he said with a grimace as she nonchalantly handed him the blood.

Noticing his face Willow reassured him, " Angel, we agreed remember no more secrets. I can deal with you being a vampire and after 240+ years I would think you could too. Vashna is our best shot at finding Buffy. All sorcerers are allowed one wish. My will be to find Buffy, but in order to ask for my wish to be granted We'll have to find this spell that will allow me to call Vashna forth."

"Are you sure that you are strong enough to cast this spell?" Angel asked with trepidation

"It will be a cake walk compared to getting you out of hell. I just hope that we can find the spell in time. Do you know where we should we look? I've looked through all Giles' books and on the internet but haven't found anything yet."

"The only place that I ever read anything about Vashna was in Paris in the Louvre's archives."

"Then it's off to Paris we go. You don't have an aversion ot being my dead brother do you? It'll make travel plans so much easier!" She said with a jab and smirk

"Ha! Ha!, sigh, I guess if it's the only way. I do so hate coffins though, can we get a deluxe?" He replied getting used to her playfullness

"I guess, you're the one who's paying after all." She said on her way to the computer to make reservations

End Part 3

In Paris: Angel and Willow have been staying in small house of his on the outskirts of Paris. Right now they’re looking through the books Angel remembered reading .

“ I can’t believe we haven’t found anything yet! ” Willow said, annoyed.

“ Well, we knew this wasn’t going to be easy. We just have to keep looking. ” Angel replied

“ I’m going to go see if there is anything else that might help in the archives.”

“ All right, I’ll keep reading. ” Angel sighed and turned the page. < I can’t believe this! We’ve looked through almost everything in the archives and still know nothing! Maybe it’s a sign that I’m not supposed to find Buffy. Oh, come off it Angel! You’ve been alive for almost 250 years and you know there’s no such thing as “signs.” Get back to work!! > Resolutely Angel read, looking for any sign that would lead them to the spell to call on Vashna.

Meanwhile, Willow was up to her eyeballs in dust looking for a book that she remembered Giles mentioning once. She’d just found it and was working her way back to Angel when she was hit from behind and knocked out. The book fell from her grasp with a loud thud and her captors quickly picked her up and started out of the building.

Angel heard the thud and came to make sure Willow was all right. What he saw was the backside of a burly man and red hair trailing between his legs. Immediately he dashed after them only to be cut down by the men left behind to grab him. They had caught him unawares and he was being tranquilized before he could react. Their captors smiling, Willow and Angel were taken to the appropriate drop off point and left there to regain consciousness.

***

Willow awakened first because their captors hadn’t been sure how much it would take to sedate Angel and had therefore given him enough to knock out 4 large elephants. As far as she could tell they were in a basement or cellar of some sort. She was free to move but Angel had been chained to the wall just high enough so he could sit with his arms above his head.

Quickly she cased the escape possibilities. There was one, a door angled in a way that made her decide they were definitely in a root cellar of some sort. Luckily they had chained Angel in a place where he was safe from the sunlight that was creeping in through the crack between the doors. After finding that the doors were impossible for her to open she went in search of food.

She found a bottle of blood for Angel and some bread and cheese and water for herself. Moving closer to Angel, for he was sure to be disoriented when he awoke, and not because she was afraid, Willow ate a little and tried to wrap her mind around what had happened.

End Part 4
 

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